Hi maybe he is asexual (Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. It may be considered a sexual orientation or the lack thereof. It may also be categorized more widely to include a broad spectrum of asexual sub-identities.) I would sit down and try to communicate with him.
So I read a bit of comments 
1-No one showers after work? My husband Showers after work and I thank God he does …he works physical and now with Covid and all, it’s just the thing to do
2-please don’t go snooping in his phone … that’s just crazy and not your business! If you don’t trust him , there’s a reason and you don’t need to go in his phone behind his back 
3-girl, whatever the reason is , this guy is not into you . That’s the important part. Not the cheating , not the gay part.
He’s not into you and what you need to be doing right now is figuring what you need to do about this.
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Go with your instincts , hes cheating either way
Take his sim card out of his phone and put it into yours n see what comes up?? Lol
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Sounds like hes over it…move on
Y he gay? I STILL didnt read anything u wrote that sounded gay to me, sounded more like he’s cheating thou
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I would follow him from work to see y he’s l8t . When u have seen then talk to him . Xx
Trust your gut if something is wrong the gut knows xx
Coming from experience on this sort of topic almost to the T my ex did the same things all the jokes the shower as soon as he walked in the house low sex drive and not able to look at me during sex. Went on for almost 5 years until I found on his phone he was talking to guys saying they were just buddies and I called it quits a month after turns out he was bisexual and he was cheating on me after work almost everything night after work for 4 years. Hun if your gut is telling you something always listen don’t keep questioning yourself. My ex denied it so many times and it still didn’t end well. I’m not telling you what to do I’m just telling you I know something doesn’t sound right.
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I don’t think he’s gay. I think he has another woman.
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If thats your gut then it more than likely correct
Man or woman- there’s someone else.
Hello! Dump him like yesterday’s trash!
If he isnt gay he is definatly cheating 
you can only ask. But in your heart you already know the answer xox
That’s not for you to decide.
He’s cheating one way or another. Know your worth!
The late getting home and shower from work=cheating lmao
Get out… it’s not working.
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Yeah he’s probably gay, idk any man that would joke about being gay. Mine never would, he would maybe make jokes to other men calling them gay, but that’s weird to me
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Gay or not… he’s lost interest in you. That’s all you need to know. I know it seems harsh but I hate to watch another woman waste time and energy on anyone.
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The fact that you wrote this is evidence enough 
because if you have to ask 
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Either gay or he has someone else obviously
Gay or not he’s clearly not interested in you
Safe sex…or no sex, time to talk…
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Not to be an asshole but none of what you said makes me think gay makes me think more towards he’s not attracted to you anymore or isn’t interested if the sex was great in the beginning and he’s been gay all along how does that make sense ?
That doesn’t mean he’s gay.
He’s definitely gay I would say. I was with an ex for 10 years and near the end of it he would watch gay porn and just laugh at it and make fun but once he finally dud come out, then I def knew he was actually enjoying them and was just laughing and stuff in front of me just to keep his feelings hidden.
If u feeling something like that say something!
Sit him down and ask him. He could be gay and there is nothing wrong with that. He could be fighting himself mentally about coming out and that can cause severe depression.
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Does he shower because he’s been in contact with others and it’s Corona-related? He may not be gay or even cheating but he’s definitely just not that into you anymore.
I’d say cheating over gay but that’s just me
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I was with my ex for 3 years and knew him for 16 years and found out he was gay by looking at his emails and seen he was meeting guys at hotels. Not even his family knew,at first nobody believed me bcuz my ex was always talking about being anti gay,but that was just to take attention away from the truth
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He’s joking about being gay he’s probably gay lol
Ask for a threesome with another dude and you’ll find out pretty quick lol
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eww, and u still get wet for him?
Don’t think he’s gay…
Not into you anymore
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Doesn’t sound like he is gay if he is actually having sex with you maybe just talk to him my mans bisexual and its was hard for him to be himself in the 1st year we were together not many people are open minded enough
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I truly thought for years that my 2nd and 1st husband are both “closet gay”. I hear you loud and clear. The comments, mannerisms, coincidences, non interest in sex, some habits they had. Its strange. My 2nd ex I saw red flags for years. I was so sstupid.I think especially men do not want to be humiliated with their families, friends, coworkers, etc. Its ironic too that over the years it’s much more popular and still some “closet gay” men still continue to hide it. I know a few men that have confided in me that they are also very homophobic. That they fear other gays can pick up on it more. If your partner isn’t completely “IN TO YOU”, then definitely make some changes. You deserve to be happy. You cannot force them to come out. Some will never let anyone know. I feel sad for them. I think anyone deserves to be loved and to love. Stop letting others run your life and be yourself. Love who you are first. 
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Somethings off but I wouldn’t go to gay I’d think hes cheating with another woman maybe especially if hes showering as soon as he walks in the door that’s an obvious sign right there the late from work another sign not staying hard or interested another sign if yalls sex was great at the start then he obviously like chicks or hed have to medicate or get drunk to get it up with u so being gay I dont think that’s the issue I have lots of gay guy friends and they always told me they have to be pretty heavily medicated or tipsy af to sleep with a girl because my one gay guy friend has twins with a girl he slept with her 3 times every time he was intoxicated lol so doubting that hes gay sounds like all the signs of another woman and hes lost interest in you to put it bluntly not to offend or hurt you just being honest here I know I’ve been there done that i was the cheater in all my relationships I was always late from wherever always showering not to let someone’s sent come flowing off me I would check his phone immediately check his google account go to his timeline his places and where hes been if his location is on will be archived all the places hes been for the last year most wipe their phone clean but they dont think about this some dont even know it’s there how I was caught once lol so there a go you gotta know so you can stop driving yourself crazy girl
In the meantime please have protected sex if you’re going to. HIV is most common amongst gay men and majority of women that have it is because they were sleeping with someone that was secretly gay. Protect yourself
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That in no way means he is gay. Get a grip. He’s just not that into you
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Im not sure that hes gay, maybe just uninterested in the the relationship anymore im sorry…either way…
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Give him a safe place to tell you about it. Ask.
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Why does he gotta be gay ? Sounds like he just doesn’t want you
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What makes u think he is gay specifically? He could be cheating with a woman
Sounds more like he is cheating on you
Break it off with him…
Sounds like he is screwing someone else. I would get tested for HIV and STDs if I were you.
Communication, that’s it.
Wow something’s definitely off hun
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Well start out by asking him dah
Talk to him to see what’s up.
Need to have a heart to heart talk !
He fucking cheating on you! Leave his ass
Probably just cheating
Trust your gut
It’s telling you something
I can’t ever imagine thinking my boyfriend might be gay…end the relationship smh
Whether he is or isn’t, sounds like it may be time for the next step. Sometimes moving on doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
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Trust your instincts. It normally doesn’t lead you wrong.
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I know this may sound confusing; is it possible that your boyfriend has experienced trauma? Childhood trauma, physical trauma. If you research the questions you have referencing trauma. Hope you find the answers your looking for. Don’t jump to conclusions, if you truly love him take the time to understand him so he can understand you.
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No matter what its probably time to let him go. If you’re asking these questions there’s more to the story. Don’t hang on to a bad relationship just to have a relationship.
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He’s not joking.
Truth sometimes is hidden behind jovial tones and behavior.
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I shower straight after coming home before I do anything else and I can assure everyone I’m not not have I ever cheated. I just feel better after a shower and more approachable. If your not happy, break things off. But, don’t make him feel like there’s something wrong with him if he is gay or bi. Also, before you confront anyone of cheating, I would make sure you have some concrete evidence aside from he showers when he gets off work. Like you’ve seen messages, someone told you he’s been seeing them, you dropped by work randomly one day and he wasn’t there/his boss said he didn’t even work that day or something. If your sex life isn’t that great, talk to him about it. Tell him what you’ve noticed and it’s bothering you or making you feel bad so you want to know what’s up. Ask him if he’s still happy with you. Just sit down and have an honest conversation. If you still feel like he’s hiding something, tell him straight up your not happy anymore and your done.
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My ex used to shower straight away he was cheating on me…I keep my eyes shut during the moment because I feel conscious of myself if my eyes are shut I feel no one can see me obviously they can just how I think
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He probably gay or has repressed trauma. You need to exit and give him the space to face whatever it is.
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Have a friend or someone take you to his work and stay distance but follow him to see where he goes if your suspecting anything. It may sound like your stocking him but instead of accusing him first hand that’s what I would do.
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That man doesn’t like you anymore so stop trying to rationalize the situation. Just move on
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Coming from a man hear could he be overly stressed because when I was struggling in life with work all the time and constantly thinking what bills o have to pay and stuff leaded me to loosening an erection sometimes now it fine but due to stress some men experience this also a lot of me have a joke about slapping there ass and they cheeky finger but in all honesty if it’s not stress could be bordem as my partner thought it was she tries doing something diffrent because she thought it was that but I got back to normal with in a week or 2 men experience this all depends on how the woman reacts to it
Showering when coming home is the first sign of cheating
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Sexual compatibility is VERY important in a relationship. It’s been only a year and y’all already having any problems? Leave him and hope the next is better in bed!
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Definitely sounds like he is. And sounds like he is very insecure, ashamed and at times in denial about it. (Fear of abandonment) Time for a serious conversation with him. Orientation isn’t something that can be forced. If you truly love him, set him (and yourself) free. Sending good vibes your way 
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I mean if he’s joking he could be serious about it and use joking to cover the fact that he’s uncomfortable coming out. But he’s cheating regardless 
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Always trust you gut… I have experienced things like this in the past and I was never wrong or too far out .
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Ladies, listen to your instincts and stop giving people the benefit of the doubt and second chances. Free yourself by not hanging on. We put ourselves through so much.
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Gut over head and heart…everytime!
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Whatever he is doing he is not the one. Do not waste your time any longer!! Get out girl!!!
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Confront him. Nothing we can say can make your life better.
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Sounds more like cheating to me.
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Have u tried talking to him about how u feel?
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This sounds exactly like my sister’s ex … and yes he has come out as gay.
Trust your instincts on this. He’s making jokes because he’s trying to tell you. Trust me, you don’t want to ignore the red flags on this one.
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He has to be cheating whether it be with male or female
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Maybe you should be talking to him rather than everyone else.
No straight man jokes about being gay. You have everything you need to know sis.
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Don’t we all shower when coming home because of covid?
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How about have a conversation with him?
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He could be gay and he could be bi. Only thing that matters here is that things aren’t going well and YOU ARE NOT HAPPY! That’s more than enough reason to move on Try and speak to him to see what he’s got to say. But please, get out of this troubling relationship.
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He may be gay, but he’s not fully into you like she should be. May be time to let him go
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Signs of cheating maybe
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Girl, just leave… move on.
Sounds like a cheater.
Hun I don’t think he is gay he just probably isn’t into you anymore but you never know but I would advice you not to continue to have sex with him anymore
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Well if he isnt gay he is for sure cheating or has some erectile issues
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Idc idc no straight man jokes about being gay.
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Gay or not you don’t sound happy or satisfied so why are you sticking around?
It sounds to me it’s possible maybe gay but I doubt it it’s sounds more like he’s cheating and really not that into you because he’s getting it from somewhere else and that’s why he can’t look you in the eyes and explains why he goes soft and going straight to shower before he greets you that’s a red flag of a cheater
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Also if you think he is gay and cheating you need to stop having unprotected sex with him. Thats a recipe for disaster. Cheating and unprotected sex is a huge reason while people end up with stds
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Have you asked him if he’s gay?
Gay? I don’t think so. Cheating? More than likely.
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