I think my partner is cheating… Im 34 weeks pregnant and have been thinking and I don’t know if I’m over thinking about this. For a few months now my partner has made comments about me, my body and calling me disgusting and calling me nasty names. He complains we hardly have sx but anytime I’ve tried he says no and I’ve gotten to the point that if he thinks I’m so disgusting than why would I want to have sx with him. But besides saying all that he’s also been making comments about his friend and all these girls he’s been with recently. I’ve been hearing more about these girls than his own friend. I’m confused on why he’s so invested in his friends hook ups. This friends ex wife has recently started staying at the friends house and my partner always makes comments about how she will sleep with people for money or anything. I’ve never caught him talking to a female but he likes to start arguments and disappear for a day or 2. Then when he comes back he yells at me saying it’s my fault he needs to disappear. He also spends all of our money when he disappears so we have no money to actually live off of until he gets his next paycheck. (I’m a stay at home mom) he always yells at me when I have to ask my parents for help during those times. I have brought up a conversation about me thinking that he’s cheating and asked why he says these things to me and treats me this way and he just yells at me saying he doesn’t cheat than he will leave. I’ve told him he needs to decide what he wants. I’ve told him that right now I don’t want him at the hospital with me and I’ve even thought about not coming back to our house when I get out of the hospital. I expressed how I’m not trying to be selfish or anything I just want a positive/supportive labor and delivery and with how he’s been acting towards me it’s not going to go that way with him there. If he’s there I feel like I’m just going to think about all the nasty comments he’s saying in his head about me while I’m giving birth. Deep down I feel like something is going on but part of me wants to believe it’s just my crazy hormones. It’s gotten to the point that his family is yelling at me because I’m thinking he’s cheating. But the only answer I ever get is " he/I don’t cheat." But if he’s not cheating why am I being treated like this? If he truly doesn’t like me or finds me attractive anymore why doesn’t he tells me he doesn’t want to be with me.
First of all he is abusing you, there is no other description of his actions. Secondly that man is cheating on you! No good man disappears for that amount of time, he is coming home mag at you because he is placing his guilt on to you and you are allowing it to happen by staying. People will treat you how you allow them too!!!
If he wasn’t guilty, he wouldn’t be working so hard to act innocent. He’s manipulating you. Make a plan and leave. This is not healthy for you or your children. You deserve better. Lift yourself and your child up and recognize that this behavior is not what you want for yourself, your children or your life. You are your children’s voice.
If you have the means, RUN NOW. If you don’t, make plan, save and then RUN. Trust me.
I would recommend protecting yourself at all costs and protect your child. He’s not serious about you.
Please find your self worth. That child doesn’t deserve to be in the middle of that bs. Smh
Instead of letting him decide what he wants, worry about what you want for you and your children. I doubt he is what you want.
Leave and do NOT look back. True narcissist. I wouldnt want that energy around me or my child.
His cheating sounds like the least of your problems. If you have a place to go and you can leave then you need to leave. This “man” doesn’t sound like someone who is invested in you or your future. Typically men treat women how they feel. Obviously he’s not stressing out about how things will be handled because he’s wasting money that should be for the family. He’s leaving because he doesn’t want to be there. He is with you because he doesn’t have to do anything. It’s easy and he knows what to say to get his way. He’s not respecting you or being a partner. He comes and goes and isn’t really involved with you so why are you with him? If you want peace and quiet then give him the boot and have a great live without drama that he brings to your doorstep. This doesn’t sound hormonal or crazy he sounds like a man child and you need a man to help and support. Good luck.
I wish I would have noticed these signs sooner. From someone that has come from narcissistic abuse, please get out! Move back in with family if you can. It will help to have the support of family around you.
You need to really think about not comin back to him. Go to court immediately and get custody of your child, and work on finding a job to support yourself and your child. You do not want to continue living like this, wondering where or who his is with, or what he is doing. Be gone the next time he pulls a disappearing act. Show him how you can do that too
I didn’t even read all of what you wrote but my first reaction was to say get the f$## out!!! I know it is easier said than done but that is no way to live life at all how awful!!
Even if he wasn’t cheating on you I would leave.
Cheating or not. You need to get away from him. That emotional and verbal abuse is B.S .
im sorry hun . but congrats and the soon to be bundle
Leave before he starts physically abusing you. He’s already mentally abusing you.
I don’t necessarily think from that alone that he’s cheating, but his behavior is abusive and he’s a jerk. Please leave him before there’s a baby involved.
First off you’re pregnant and he’s calling you names? Get the Hell away from him,don’t take that shit. He would be shown shown the door with his clothes and he could go on down the road. If he’s doing that he’s not going to be better when the baby gets here. Get you and your child away from him now.
You deserve so much better. He absolutely is cheating that’s why he makes up these fights with you so he can leave and then blame it on you. No honest and decent man leaves for days at a time. Leave This POS and you will be so much happier.
If you have supportive parents, go home. He just generally sounds like a jerk. Time to move on…
Cheating or not pack your bags and go. With all that detail cheating is the least of your worries. Get out while you can he’s abusive and disrespectful
That’s mental abuse. The way he talks to you would be enough for me to leave. So sorry your going through this you should be supported while pregnant
Red flags all around, do yourself a favor and get out before that baby is born. I would NEVER put up with my husband doing any of those things! U need to leave the boy alone and find yourself a man!
He might be using drugs… I have been down this road. He was cheating with a crack pipe. Did all you mentioned minus the name calling. He never did that. Either way get out.
Don’t wait until he tells you!! Just leave his treatment towards you is enough!!
time to leave see if your family can help and start court proceedings to get the child support you will need
I don’t understand why you are still with him. He told you he doesn’t want to be with you. That by itself should be enough to go. Record him saying it next time so you have proof and file for divorce and child support. He is a narcissist and he won’t change. Your children don’t need to see this it will also affect them on how they treat their partner later in life
Get your ducks in a row. Start working, put back every penny and leave. It will not get better. You already know this.
You have much bigger issues than him cheating. He’s abusive and extremely disrespectful. Do you really want that? RUN
lord has mercy!!! girl!!! leave his sorry ass!!! he is mentally abusing you!!! RUN!!!
Sweetie. Leave now. When he goes to work, leave. Take what you need for you and the kids and stay with your parents. He is a horrible person. He absolutely is cheating to disappear and treat you like that.
He is gaslighting you so much that you are doubting yourself. Get an appointment with a therapist ASAP.
Things are only going to get worse once you bring a child into the mix. I guarantee you that much. At best, find a way to co-parent with him, and leave before that baby is born.
Maybe you both should take a step back and re evaluat the situation …
He isn’t here to tell his side so I can only go off what your saying here. I kbow how crazy we girls can get sometimes with our hormones and 95 % of the time we don’t realise we’re even doing it but maybe just maybe your looking into it and finding things that aren’t really there… BUT DOESNT EXCUSE HIS NAME CALLING AND DISREPECT OF YOU .
your about to give birth to his child he needs to show respect
A real man will try and approach the situation in a better way. BUT again I did say MAN to.
There hard to find no days most of them are boys that don’t won’t or bother trying to understand us so you just look after you and that baby and your kids … what will be will be in the end…
Alright. This guy is out right abusive! Guilty of cheating or not you don’t deserve a single bit he’s doing to you or your children. I’m sorry to say but I beg you to please get out! Get put before it becomes physical! You don’t need him! You can do this. I’m sure your parents would support you the beat they can just to get you away from this horrible person.
Girl… are you serious right now? No committed man just leaves the house and ghosts for a couple days while spending their entire paycheck. He sounds like a damn child. You deserve better, so set some dang expectations and stick to them. Don’t just stay in a toxic relationship because you’re pregnant. This behavior is toxic AF. NOT ONLY FOR YOU, but also for that baby to grow up in. You teach people how to treat you but what you allow them to get away with. If it were me, the two deal breakers here are: 1) you won’t talk down to me and insult me anymore
2) you don’t get to leave and go no contact at any point in this relationship for any reason
If he can’t do those two simple things, this relationship is already over. It doesn’t matter at this point if he’s cheating. You. Deserve. Better. Demand. It. The best indicator of future behavior is the past behavior. Believe it!
Trust your instinct. It is never wrong. Get out of there.
Cheating or not he sounds verbally/emotionally abusive and that’s a big enough reason to leave. I doubt these destructive behaviors will change once the baby is born. Which doesn’t make it a healthy environment for anybody.
Babe run. No hormones can make you think what is right in front of you. Reread what you posted, all of your answers are in your post. You and baby deserve better. And for shots and giggles let’s say he isn’t cheating. He is still abusing you and treating you like shit. You do not have to live that way. My advice is get away as soon as you can.
This is heartbreaking. The way he talks to you is enough. So degrading. Please find your way out
If you have family as a good positive support system, please go.
Clearly something is going on red flag red flag run run
Ok, he is treating you horrible. At this point if he is cheating is irrelevant. His poor treatment is all you need to justify you from walking out the door.
Oh girl. Do not go back to that man. You will regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t get away now.
All of this is bad enough to leave even if he isn’t cheating…. So if he is (which I’m sure he is) it’s even worse and you need to leave.
Prayers for your partner. Amene
Cheating or not (oh but he absolutely is) this is an abusive, controlling relationship that is not healthy for you or your children. RUN don’t walk away and immediately file for child support.
He already did…move out…
I think he already make his decision but you are in denial , you are the owner of your life and should not be waiting for others to make decisions on how you live, you are the only one with that power.
Please!!! Have some respect for yourself and leave , this is just going to get worse and worse every day. You do not even have a job that can be holding up for you to still there , go to your parents and file for divorce.
He is definitely cheating on you
Sounds like you called his ass out and he got mad because your right. I’ve been there done that with enough heaters to know that if they get mad and keep acting that way it’s the truth and whatever they are saying is BS. Someone who isn’t cheating is gonna want to know why you think that and how to ease that state of mind especially since your carry his child. I would go ahead and move if it were me. All your doing is letting he keep you worked up which is not good for you or your child
Even if he’s not cheating, it sounds like he treats you like shit. Leave him. Go stay with your parents if you can. Protect your child from becoming part of a toxic relationship.
Cheating is the least of your worries. The disrespect to you is what is most upsetting. Sounds like your parents have your back. Please leave. NOW
I’d put kid in daycare , daycare assistance or family…get a job , start getting on your feet.
This is horrible and I felt horrible reading all that you wrote. I am so sorry that you have to go through this especially when you are so close to bringing another child into this world. What I will say is to consider this being the last child you have with this sorry excuse for a man. At this point it doesn’t even matter if he is cheating or not… doesn’t make a difference. The way he treats you and makes you feel about yourself is enough of a reason to not be in a relationship anymore. Who does he think he is? How dare he treat you like that. What a horror. He is NOT a partner. He is mentally abusive. There is so much more to a relationship than sex. He is disgusting.
Why are u even staying regard less of cheating hes treating u like down right [email protected]! Girl life to short to be treated that way have strength tell him leave n dont come back
Something to consider is Black listing him from your delivery room you just tell your nurses he is not allowed in the room while you ate labor and delivering! and tell your nurses he isn’t allowed in until after you give birth and have transferred to the over night stay room if thats what you want him to be apart of other wise
Do it all without his negativity around you and your new precious baby!!!
The “black list” is there to protect mothers like you in situations like this.
Good luck and stay strong! You truly deserve so much better than that childish bullshit
Who cares if he is cheating… I would have been gone the minute he called me disgusting. Girl…love yourself and get out.
Every single thing you said is a red flag. Why does he care about other peoples hookup, why does he care that a women is selling herself and how would he know. The degrading and you putting up with it is the biggest red flag of all, AND him disappearing for days??? And coming back with no money? So he either is paying for se* that he keeps talking about, or he has a dr*g problem. Both of those are your worst nightmare. You’re about to have another baby, you can not 1. Deal with that abuse and 2. You can not let yourself be financially unstable when you have kids and are about to have a baby, that you’ll need money and help with. If your parents are willing to help, I’d go there ASAP and disappear on him, like he does to you.
You’ve still got time till baby is here. If you haven’t done so already start making preparations to move out after baby comes. Forget about the possibility of him cheating… he’s verbally and emotionally abusing you and it won’t stop. You and baby need to get away and be with people who love, care and support you unconditionally. And make sure to start with court proceedings regarding baby and child custody and child support.
You don’t need him treating you like that. Especially in front of your future child
Nor do you want someone that is cheating on you
There is a saying
The one accusing is the one doing
In my lifetime I’ve found it too be painfully truthful
“I’ve even thought about not coming back”
That was the only right thing I read.
Doesn’t matter if he’s cheating or not, you need to leave. Regardless of why he’s treating you this way it’s unacceptable.
Get out before that baby comes. It will get worse & your focus should be on your newborn baby. Plus those hormones after giving birth, you shouldn’t be having to deal with him talking to you like that. hugs
Why are you waiting to find out he’s cheating on you to leave? You should leave purely from how he treats and speaks to you. I know easier said than done but think of your baby too, do you want your child brought up in that environment. I was in the same situation last year, the way he spoke to me an treated me was vile. I finally left (after I did find out he was cheating) and the main thing I’ve noticed is the difference in how my daughter acts, she’s always been so quiet and reserved, to say she has blossomed this last year is an understatement. She’s such a happy little girl now, I’ve only realised since leaving how miserable she was. As much as you’d like to think it doesn’t affect your children, it really does. Please think about your own happiness and your child’s future happiness. Don’t stay just because he’s your child’s dad. You don’t need to live a life like this xx
Your instincts do not lie. If they are telling you something’s up, then something is up. Always listen to your instincts, they will not fail you.
Holy damn!! You’re wondering if hes cheating? Hes probably raging with STDS. Change the locks while hes gone and have a friend stay because he sounds dangerous as hell.
It definitely sounds like cheating and probably drug use to me. Leaving for days on end, the anger and hostility, the gaslighting and finding reasons to argue so he can justify leaving. Sounds like a drug addicted narcissist who is most likely cheating as well. Please get yourself and the baby away asap! The stress and emotional abuse is not good for you or the baby! I would pack up and leave without saying a word next time he’s gone so you can safely get away.
Ummmm you need to get out of there now. The pure narcissism radiating from the douche is BAD. You’re pregnant and he calls you nasty names? Disappears for a day or two after a fight. He’s absolutely messing around behind your back and then blaming you. I think not. Leave leave leave and don’t look back