So the question is should a mother keep her child safe? Umm yeah that’s what a good mother does Smh
Why are you even asking I think you just answered your own question…
If you feel they are toxic and unsafe keep away
You know what the answer is! Why are you even asking? I kept my son away from my mother because she was an abusive alcoholic. She yelled at my son and swatted him one time. That’s all it took, I left and didn’t bring him around for several years. Even then he wasn’t out of my sight!
Keep her away from them sounds like they will never change. And if you want to breast feed go for it! It’s amazing (bottle fed is perfectly fine too!) I hope you and you’re baby girl the best!
Omg this is like my partners family do what u feel is right for yourself and your child xx
You need to change your phone number and keep your MLN away. Hopefully your partner will wake up and see what she’s doing and leave. I’m sorry your going through this but you really need to stay away from them and your partner. Its for the better.
Move as faraway as possible if you can
Definently stay away from his negative family! I have recently cut all ties with my husbands family! Well some of them. If they dont have respect for the mother of theyre grandkid then they dont need to be around period! Im sorry you are going through this. Just know you aint alone. But yes girl get away from that negativity!
I think you already know the answer to your question .
I think you already know the answer! Stand your ground and document everything she does! It is scary but do what is best for your family and STAY AWAY
Block everyone involved that is making you miserable! This child shouldn’t grow up thinking this behavior is normal. Mesery likes company. Documentation!
In my 45 yrs of experience, I’ve learned 2 important things. 1- you don’t need anyone’s approval
2- there are only two teams that truly matter: your team or theirs. You can only choose one! Make a choice, love.
Is the baby daddy OK with cutting all ties? That’s the best option. Change your phone, address, habits, change cars and jobs if you can & don’t let MIL have any info. Get a P.O. Box for mail. If your child is in day care or school, tell them MIL is NEVER authorized to take your child from school & to alert you if she shows up.
Contact Police & women’s shelters/services he
Tell her to go fuck herself that’s bull stand up for your child!
That would be a yes from me. I wouldn’t let someone like that around my kids either. I wouldn’t keep the baby’s dad from his family, but make sure that you don’t want him to bring you or your daughter around them.
I have a strained relationship with my MIL too. She loves my daughter but her home is completely unsafe. Her house should literally be on an episode of hoarders. When I politely ask her to come to our house instead, she refuses and then complains that she never sees my daughter. I’d say just worry about you and your daughter. Seems like you’ve done all you can.
Well, i guess i would let them come to u house if they want to see her and as far as the bottle u the mother do whats best. By the way how old are u and do u have u moms support.
My ex’s family wanted to blame me when he wanted nothing to do with my daughter after I found out I was pregnant. They all started harassing me and telling me that I was a terrible mother for kicking him out and he would make a wonder father. I told them all to go to hell and that she was my baby and that I was the one carrying her for 9 months and would be raising her not him and he stepped out like a coward and blocked them all. So I say do what’s best and kick them out get that negativity out of your lives!!
My child’s fathers family is the same way…only a few of them I let my son over when I’m not around the other half he will never be there alone without me
You should have nothing to do with any of them. Not even the dad
He could put a stop to it if he wants to
Take child and leave
I would, your SO can choose to be on the same page with you or part ways with him too. Your child and her safety is your number 1 priority
Stay away from that family. If you partner doesn’t wake up from what his mother is doing and starts to believe her BS, he will allow her to take your child to raise as her own. I was in a very similar situation a few years ago because of toxic in-laws and had to end the marriage because our son’s father chose to believe his mother and side with her instead of supporting his wife and child. I now make more money working part time than he does and I am fighting for sole custody to keep our son safe emotionally and physically
- Have minimal contact.
- Block or restrict them on social media.
- Try to move far enough away if you can or start saving to do so. Don’t give them your new address.
- Look into the Grey rock method. You must protect your little ones from toxic people. Little children are very moldable and your toxic extended family members will do everything in their power to try turn them against you. They will not respect your rules or boundaries so you must create distance from them.
How old are you now?? My guess is he was as young as you when you got pregnant and she was upset. And that is understandable,I hope you can see that. You were just a child when you had a child. And having a child does not make you a responsible adult that knows everything. Maybe you could see that she is trying to give you advice instead of seeing it as telling you how to raise your child. She is trying to help. Maybe she had kids young and knows how hard it is. Instead of taking offence try bonding with her over being mom’s.
Yes no questions about it
Toxic is toxic and needs to go. Blood or not. Break the cycle… I say as I’m doing muself and give your family a chance.
Its tough. But no toxic behaviours will be involving my children ever again
Had in-laws like that. I was 15 when I met my husband married at 19 but the 4 years were hell!! FIL did not like me at all. MIL was okay though. I wasn’t pregnant though. BF’s Mom has some proving to do for you. Remind her she didn’t want your baby living. I never gave up though. So BF should go to see parents if he chooses and if they want to see you and baby they come to ‘your’ place. Breastfeeding is your choice and you don’t want to hear negatives. Minimal contact with BF’s parents. I seldom went to my in-laws.
You are the parent YOU have the right to choose who is apart of the baby’s life and who is not. What is best for the baby at this point is the most important thing regardless of who it means cutting out!
Absolutely keep her away at all cost
Run period. Don’t second guess, don’t buy into the excuses, just run. You can do it, there’s a lot of us mommas who have walked your path and have survived, taught our daughters to thrive and soar.
If they tried to pressure you into having an abortion they have no right to be part of your daughters life. I’d never let them see her.
If you do anything, you allow them somewhere in public and you put firm guidelines in place. The minute they overstep you leave with your daughter. Stand up for yourself and your daughter. My own family is full of addicts and toxic people. I have always had rules for being around my son. He is 15 now and the only one of his cousins to have never even been around pot (not that pot is bad, I just dont use it). This shows how sheltered I have kept my son. Also he has seen me drink but has never once even seen me tipsy. The first time one of my family members has broken a rule, they are cut out.
Your responsibility as that baby girl’s momma is to protect her at all costs. That is also the responsibility of her father. If they want to be around her bad enough, they will make a change to enable that. Especially your partner’s mother. She is YOUR child and you have every right to raise her as you see fit and in a way that is in your baby’s best interest.
You are the mother! Just say NO!!
That is a decision you must make with her father. We can all give our opinions but, you already know after posting all the negative we would say keep the baby away!!
You are wise, keep them out of your lives! You don’t need all of that drama. If they continue to bother you, think about moving to a different city or state. You must protect your child at all costs!
Trust your instincts when it comes to your child. I would tell them only supervised visits and if they don’t agree then they can’t see her. What does your partner say about it?
It’s ok to let go of toxic family members.
AS a mother myself sometimes you just have to walk away from those that are not good for you or your children. It can be hard but that child is your and you are responsible for that child’s welfare so close that door on them now and make it clear where you stand. In the mean time you and your partner try not to bad mouth them in front of your child, when your child is old enough to decide what they want in life they will make the choice weather to be involved with them or not. Speaking from my own experiences.
Stay away…you already know what to do…stand your ground pray for her,but do what is best for you and your daughter…
You are in charge. You are the parent. Report them to the police if they harrasse you or your daughter. Keep a paper trail by reporting them so they can’t say you hurt your daughter in any way
Hun, no one has the answer except for you. .Your child, your decision and anyone who says differently is off base… you have to do what is in the best interest of your child whether your partner is on board or not. let them deal with their toxic family.
You are wise yet so young, it will take a lot of hard work and determination to stay strong in not allowing toxic people to be a part of your daughter’s life. Your partner is not as strong as you are emotionally, this is all he has ever known. Look for help within the community because it is not easy and you will need support.
Allow them in your life. Set the rules. As long as you and your partner agree with them and keep them, they should be able to abide by them. If not, make the consequences clear.
That’s really a call only you two can make but if it were me I would absolutely follow my heart and protect my daughter.
Of course you should. She’s YOUR daughter not theirs. They need to either change their ways or not see her. You need to do what’s right for her not them.
Go With Your Heart And Knoledge, You Dont Want Her Growing Up To Think Any of That Behavior Is Exceptable. As Most People Try And Protect Their Child, And Do our Best to guid them in the rite direction. Life is Hard Enough. I Think Your makeing Good…But hard Reasonable Dicisions. Keep loving Your Child And Your Self. Its More than Okay as your Child gets older and asks You Why You both Dont Visit To Say: Some People Live Diffrently than Others, We Choose Diffrent Paths. Good Luck! God Bless!
You always protect your child. His family seems extremely toxic and I would not let my child around them especially unsupervised.
It’s not written in the books where you have to have them in your life or your child’s. So use common sense.
Yes. Never doubt yourself when it comes to protecting your child.
READ what you wrote and you’ve answered your own question
If it was anyone else, you wouldn’t have to think twice. Just because it’s “family” doesn’t make it any better. You need to be talking this over with your partner because odds are if he grew up in this environment, he feels the same way as you do about it. You both need to come to an agreement about this situation, not just you.
so you didn’t know what kind of situation you were getting into with him before you laid down?..that is why at 15 you should keep your pants on … where is your family…how old are you now … are you old enough to be out on your own (both of you)…if he loves you and you are planning on spending the rest of your life together move …get away entirely from the situation…no it’s not easy specially being so young but I promise you it is the best choice you will make.
Sounds like there is soooooo much more your not saying,anyways if you feel like you or your daughter are in danger, then why even hesitate, get the hell away from them…
Leave him…it’ll never end if you’re not 100 % away from them.
I would you dont want your daughter growing up in something like that
Be strong and do whatever you think is right - you are right by the way - if abuse and alcohol is around - no way leave - my ex husband’s family was like that - he was abusive too - keep that in mind
Keep you daughter safe. Trust your instincts
You are the parent. You already know what to do.
Keep your baby safe NO MATTER WHO you make mad!!!
Stay as far away as possible. They sound like a toxic mess
If your gut tells you to keep her away, then listen to it. I don’t want anything bad to happen to your baby
Yes, keep them away.
She’s your child you must protect her keep away from them
Yes if u feel it to be better for the child yes
The fact that you even have to ask a panel of strangers suggests that even YOU don’t know what’s best for your child. If you have to ask if she should be around alcoholics and druggies says more about you than them. No, your child shouldn’t be around them. If your baby daddy can’t get away from them, that’s on him. You have to protect your child AT ALL COSTS.
Block all of them. Stay the hell away if your partner has a problem with that then tell him he can leave too
I think you know the answer.
Yes. You do not put your child in dangerous situations.
Ummm…I think you already know the answer to your question.
Omg take care of your daughter she comes first
Omg wow!!! If u don’t keep her from them and something happens one day u will hate ur self… Protect that baby with ur life…
Its your child if u feel like you do keep them away!
Absolutely keep her away. It sounds like all the MIL will do is fill your childs head with reasons why she should hate you. This MIL sounds horrible and extremely controlling. That in itself is abuse. Let alone knowing there is physical abuse as well with other family members then I’d stay away. Hell, move if you have too. Make it inconvenient for her to see the child.
Always trust your gut feeling!!
Trust your gut! She’s YOUR child
Yes yall need to move totally away
Keep her away from them
Look for jobs as far away from his family as you can get. Keep them at miles length, not just arms length. Your loyalty is to your child then your partner. Either he’s on board with you or he gets left behind. You both are going to have to grow up fast and hard and take care of your family unit. Make choices that will strengthen your family and bring your daughter up to be strong, healthy, independent and self aware. Good luck
If it was me I’d stay away and keep my child away permanently as long as she’s living under your roof rather she’s of age or not. None of you deserve to be treated like a pos by that witch
Keep her away. Absolutely! You already know in your heart what’s best for your daughter. No food will come on her being around that toxicity.
Keeping your child from a toxic abusive person is the right call in my eyes!! You’re doing it to protect her. If you’re out and they approach you in a negative way that escalates to an uncomfortable situation, call the police. Nothing wrong with protecting you and your family.
Toxic family is still destructive. Blood is not an open gateway for,or a justification to excuse abuse. Your little family needs to have boundaries!
Block them out, get a restraining order if you can. I went through it and it’s not pretty at all. Sometimes I feel bad and want them all around because they are family but it’s safer and just better not having them their till my sons ready
This is something you and your partner need to agree on before making a final decision. Children should be surrounded with love and if this family cant do that they are not entitled to any visits ect
Yes, protect your child! It’s your job!
Stay away! At the VERY least, make sure you are always there to supervise if she is around them. And always stand up for yourself. Don’t let her see them walking all over you, or she will think its okay for people to do it to her.
Well you remind them you were under age when you conceived, and now they are against you , you can raise the baby yourself move away from the drama, start a new life for yourself.
You already know the answer to that question Mama. Protecting her is your job, fuck everybody’s feelings. You will never forgive yourself if you go against your gut and something happens to her.
I think you answered your own question really; Of Course you should keep them as far away from your daughter as possible; block all their s, block them on social media; block them from access to you & your child!!
Sometimes family ties have to be cut. I have done it and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Your mind should be on your child safety and upbringing- if you wouldn’t be around it don’t put your child around it.
You need to move far away from his family & cut all ties!
Honey, that’s YOUR baby. I have some of the same problems with my own family. It’s not their child to raise, it’s yours. You and your partner are the parents of that baby. They are extended family and you have the right to decide if you want them in your child’s life. If you don’t want them around, then make that clear and if they don’t comply, get a restraining order. The safety of your child is the first and foremost priority for you.
Document EVERYTHING record it if possible and file a restraining order!
Just dont hide the reason from her. Have supervised visits maccas or something
I wish I knew who this fan was because I am going through the EXACT same situation. It would be awesome to have someone to talk to about it that knows what I’m going through
it’s your child, you have every right to keep them away from anyone you think is dangerous/toxic.
Yes and your partner should stand firm with you on that
We cut my family for this exact reason.
Don’t feel guilty at all.
My husband, kids and myself deserve better.