Just like u r going threw a change of having another baby he is going threw the change of not being the only baby and getting 100% of ur time like before. My daughter did the same when my second came and my second did the same when the third came. He may be looking for any attention whether it be being good or being bad.
There is something I do not understand: “He doesn’t talk to your boyfriend unless you allow him to”?, and for 1.5 years? What kind of relationship is that? Momma get your relation straight, this kid doesn’t know how to react with two strangers in the house: a new baby and a guy that he can’t talk to. That’s crazy. No wonder he can’t manage his behavior. Seek help YOU need it.
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I honestly would consult your pediatrician and talk to them about it and see what they suggest. I work in pediatrics and we see this more than people think.
ADHD is normally not diagnosis at age 4. What I hear sounds like attention seeker…there is someone new in the picture and he dont know have to deal with it…my 2 year old act out and cant be still but no ADHD…just take baby steps with him and maybe putting him in a preschool for half day to socialize with other students
He wants your attention. It’s hard for children to accept having to share you. Try including him in the care of your daughter, make a big deal out of what a great big brother he is. If you can set aside some special time where it’s just the 2 of you it’ll go a long way. I raised 4, this helped me a lot.
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Change is hard for all kids but it is particularly hard for kids with ADD. Re-establishing a strict routine for him, that he can depend on, will help him feel safe and should help with the behavior issues. The effect won’t be immediate but I promise it will help. Bath time, a story, bedtime, breakfast snack lunch etc at a set time. All of that will help.
Just u and him need to go out some place fun!! Just spend time with him
Why is this page called MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY?
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That sounds like childhood depression and or anxiety. It’s highly under diagnosed. The ‘professionals’ just put them in special education classes and call it done.
From experience he feels left out esp with the new baby be patient and do the things you do with him before the new baby came
He wants ur attention. U have a new baby that get ur attention when it crys so he trying the same thing. My son did same thing best thing to do is sit him down and explain to him the reason baby cry is she cant talk yet but he a big boy and know how to talk so instead of crying try using your words so mommy can understand what wrong.
Also what helped me is take one day a week and have it be his day get a sitter for baby n just do what he wants eat what he wants(within reason) and still have that bonding time and within a few weeks it will b better (well my case it did)
Good luck and if u think it is ADD or ADHD have doctors test him. My son was tested at 6.
4-5 is the age where everything is interesting to see, but yes, the child is asking for your attention
I noticed that when my grandson (1.50 yrs) had his baby sister born
He wants to lay in her bassinet, screams for attention, I calm him down,he gets to kiss the baby and we hold her together
He’s being normal
When my little ones acted up,we went for a walk around the block to take energy out of him,
Praying you find the answer(s) in a good psychologist.
Don’t forget, ratings and reviews for child psychologists can be found online.
Best wishes! 
I have two boys 15 months and a day apart. Breastfed both. And stay at home mom for both mostly. My oldest went to daycare for few months but still was mommy and son. Then came brother who needs mommy just as much if not more. His behavior went south quick. He also has a speech delay that frustrates us all. But we are learning to adapt. Attempt to make him feel included with sibling and things you do daily might help a little but your not a failure. We don’t push them out and instantly get powers. They are hard earned mommy powers.