We did a week in Jamaica just us and it was awesome. I do still dream of having an actual wedding…been married for almost 10 years. We’ve thought about doing a renewal and having a wedding but then I think of a week alone without the four boys 
I don’t think you could go wrong with either…
Maybe a small destination wedding??
My husband and I were together for 9 1/2 years before we actually got married. We were married in his dads church and it was really small but I still wore my wedding dress!!! We then had a reception for our family and friends to celebrate and spent the rest of that money on OUR time together! Because your marriage and relationship is about each other that is what your focus should be during your wedding/marriage ceremony. Talk it over and decide what you 2 think will mean more to you 20 years down the road. The 10 minutes of your wedding or that time you took to enjoy each other! For us after being married now 10 years it was definitely that time together!!!
I didn’t get the wedding I wanted. About 40 to 50 people in a more casual place like a park. Just the planning for this relatively small event was putting a lot of pressure on us. We had different opinions from everything like the venue to the menu. We ultimately got married at the courthouse with 3 others in attendance. That was almost 17 years ago. I would like to renew our vows on our 20th Anniversary and have a formal sit down dinner for about 25 to 30 of our closest friends and family at a beautiful venue and I will wear a gorgeous semi-formal dress.
Have the party and do it formal and you can wear a wedding dress
I don’t even know 100 people so that’s definitely not smal5
I certainly got married in June 2019. I come from a large Italian family and my husbands is on the smaller side. We comprised and did a small wedding in a rose garden (I wanted this) with a total of 70 ppl (he wanted) 35 from each side. It was immediate family only and I stayed firm on it for my husband. It was hard people got there feelings hurt but the day is about us and what we wanted. It was the best decision ever we got to mingle with all of our guests. I would recommend a smaller size wedding to anyone. I dont have one regret about the size it was perfect.
My fiance wanted the bigger wedding and I didn’t but in the end we compromised. We are getting married in 22 days and half our guest list hasn’t even RSVP so it looks like I will get the smaller wedding but he is sad by this
Why not just have a celebration party?
My husband and I got married on the beach at sunset in hawaii. My mom, and sister and his parents came. We spend 3-1/2 weeks in hawaii island hopping all.of us and it was still way less than a “real” wedding that lasts for what? A few hours?? Nope. Wouldnt trade it.
I once settled and I regret it every single day.
I’m open to compromise but will not sacrifice
Could you compromise? Have a small intimate ceremony but big reception later? You can show the video of the wedding at the reception.
Big weddings are a scam for companies to make money. You’ve been together so long already, why make a big deal of it now? Just sign the papers at the courthouse and use that money to go on a cruise or to Europe or something big for you two to celebrate.
Is religion important to you? Have an intimate church wedding (immediate family & friends, 25 or less) with no attendants but a dress & bouquet for you and afternoon reception in their social hall with snacks, non-alcoholic drinks and cake from the grocery store (some can do tiered cakes). Include beer, wine &/or champagne if desired & allowed.
My daughter had a destination wedding in Las Vegas in a park (Red Rock Canyon, though wanted Valley of Fire). No flowers, attendants, hoopla, just close family and friends standing around in the scenery. Good friend got certified online to be the officiant. Photographer was a gift from her brother. Everyone had a fun weekend of organized activities at their own expense: hikes, casino hopping, buffets, Top Golf, dancing waters, New Year’s Eve pizza party (paid for by parents & godparents) in their hotel suite & fireworks watching.
Then they had a picnic in a seaside park later in the year midway between the families with no agenda, just catered BBQ & an ice cream truck, corn hole & games. Everyone could drive there & back in a day or stay at their own expense. Didn’t break the bank & the couple got to have a long weekend vacay in Vegas & the Delaware shore without the introvert groom having to be the center of attention.
Clever touch: kraft paper-covered picnic tables had conversation-starter questions (favorite pet? What’s the most fun place you’ve been to? etc.), tic-tax-toe, word puzzles.
Friends got married at a courthouse, later had a big affair at a fire hall in the spring. She’s good with crafts, so did a lot herself:(mini jars of homemade apple butter as gifts, chalkboards with sayings, table assignments, directions; cut up sausage, cheese, pickles, pretzels, mustard & crackers as appetizers, big pans of mac n cheese, green beans, fried chicken & ham plus salad for dinner buffet. Wine bottles on tables for self serve (or maybe a bartender?). They paid for the hall, a cupcake tower w a small cake on top for them to cut, paper/plastic ware, the fun band, and people to set up & tear down.
You can find beautiful wedding gowns at thrift stores or secondhand online. I wore my mom’s dress for my first wedding & got a perfect dress on sale at David’s Bridal for $99 for my second.
You could invite everyone for a big pot luck with BYOB at a local venue & surprise them with a ceremony, wedding cake & Champagne (or Asti or Prosecco) toast. Get your bouquet from the grocery store & wrap with ribbon or florist tape.
Get paper plates, plastic ware, cups & napkins from the Party Store (or online) in your colors. Have balloons for table decorations & use white plastic tablecloths in your color, or if the venue provides table cloths get tissue paper in your colors to put on top of the tables for color. Metallics give it a pop. Then have your honeymoon trip. Buy wine & beer in bulk if you want booze. Oriental Trading Co. has a bridal catalog for inexpensive reception ideas.
For a lunch reception I made tuna salad, chicken salad, 3-bean salad, pasta salad w no mayo & fruit salad (or make melon balls, or a platter of grapes & strawberries) & got bags of green salad. Add breads, chips, salad dressing, drinks & cake & you’ve got a lovely luncheon for less with no catering expense. You can also get 6-foot sandwiches, cut them up & arrange them on plates fairly inexpensively if you don’t like to cook.
A catered brunch is cheaper than lunch or dinner. You can get OJ, breads & pastries, butter, jam & tea bags at the grocery store, then hire someone to make omelets, have a chafing dish of hash browns & get the venue to supply coffee & hot water in urns. If you want, have a toaster or two set up with a plate of toaster waffles &/or pancakes with a pitcher of syrup. Add pitchers of mimosas & bloody Mary’s if you want booze.
I put thick ribbon on baskets & lined them with colored tissue paper for the plates, napkins & utensils, put grocery store flowers in a vase wrapped in ribbon or tulle to decorate the food table in the chosen colors, or you could use the balloons & anchors as table decor.
Since I had a Sunday reception, friends & I had to get a party tank of helium & blow up the balloons, attach lengths of ribbon & tie them to the anchors in the morning before the event as stores with helium balloons were closed Sun. am.
But grocery store florist departments could have you covered.
Or get pretty votive holders & tea lights (regular or battery) for cheap but pretty table decor. Just make sure you have someone to light them before people arrive.
Have a musical friend make a playlist, or hire a local DJ (maybe you have someone in the family who would play what you want) and you have a party!
If you want bridesmaids, have them pick their own dresses in a specific color or color range. Each can carry a single rose or other flower, then put them in a vase on the wedding party table at the reception.
People remember the fun, and how happy people are, not the expense or how fancy the food/decor was.
You could also have family suggest to guests who inquire that your preferred gifts would be $$ towards a honeymoon trip vs. stuff.
If your fiancé is shy, create an experiences where he is not the center of attention long & is surrounded by people he is comfortable with for the rest (no receiving line, a circular wedding party table so he’s not facing a room of people, just the friends across the table, short ceremony, no first dances, seated for any toasts).
Tell him to find a compromise. Have a small ceremony (actually small, 100 people isn’t small. More like 30.) go on a trip for a few days and then host a party when you get back. Don’t go overboard with the wedding and DIY a lot of things to save money. Don’t get unnecessary things. Centerpieces? Nope. Plan a shorter trip and then have a party when you get back so you can show everyone pics of the trip. Consider it the honeymoon. He should have told you what he wanted before you saw yourself in beautiful wedding dresses and already made some plans. And after 9 years, you should get a wedding. Also, it’s not being a brat to want a wedding and bring your families together, he also has to compromise.
Well as ur oldest brother I believe u should keep pushing it as long as that’s exactly what you want love u sis and yes sister ur wedding should be something that u never forget because it should be one of the happiest days of ur life
You been together 9 years? now you want to get married?. I think it’s call Common Law Marriage in some states. Save you money, go to the court house and get a marriage license, go before the Judge or your church pastor. I don’t know if the Judge or Pastor will charge. Save your money for honey moon vacation.
Talk to him 
come to a compromise or at least explain how important it is, the questions being put up here are ridiculous
Weddings of that size are expensive if you have to pay for it. Think about that before you get involved in planning this wedding!
This is where most compmrises in marriage begin. If you have been together that long then y’all already know how to do that. Compmrise on a small, 100 is not small wedding.
Tell him you have been dreaming of it all your life and really want a regular wedding. If he loves you he should comply.
Talk to him and communicate your feelings. He will understand, but wont know unless you tell him. My husband and I got married when we where young and couldn’t afford much. I pretty much paid for everything and have talked him into doing a big vow renewal for our 15th anniversary which will be in 2023. However I still wish that I had gotten that bigger fancier wedding of my dreams the first time because you only do it once. By bigger and fancier I’m not meaning huge or overly expensive just more than the $500-1000 that I spent on it (I don’t remember how much just that it was under $1,000).
Marriage is about compromise, discuss with each other what you really want and then meet in the middle.
Meet in the middle. Have a medium size wedding. Why start off ur marriage in debt because u threw a party for other people? This day is supposed to be about the 2 of you. Nothing wrong with small and intimate
What you could do is, buy the dress you want. Go on the trip and get married, bring the dress with you. Then when you are back have a reception and wear the dress again. Best of both worlds if he doesn’t want a full wedding.
Save your money, it could be used in a much better way than that one day;remember the marriage is more important than the wedding. He sounds like he is looking after your future together ,he sounds like a keeper. Perhaps you could use that wedding money on a down payment for a house
I got one night away with hubby when we got married I would love to go away for a week with him!
our entire wedding only cost us $400.00 I cant complain and here we are almost 3 years married and 6 years together things get rough but we are tougher than the stones that get tossed.
Ok 100 people is small in my world. My family holidays are about 50 people deep…
Try to compromise a small (20-40 people) backyard wedding, no bridal party. You get your dress, the ceremony. He gets a small dinner party. Set a budget so you can still do a week vaca/ honeymoon.
My dad and stepmom,were together for years before tying the knot, they wanted to go on a cruise for there celebration, which they did then had a backyard wedding for close friends and family to share with them. My step mom wore a wedding dress, the did it all in the cheap and it was still beautiful and awesome arvo/evening. They just had lots of nibbles after and drinks.
A friend of mine is getting married soon and she is also having a backyard wedding, and hirings food truck to cater it so no formal seating arrangement etc but beautiful ceremony, photos then shindig after. It doesn’t need to be ultra fancy, and making ur own stuff can be fun.
Well i have a friend who is getting married no one is invited as they are having a marriage celebrate at work and after they are going to her mother place to have a get together of a few friends they say thirty thousing for the wedding is to much and they are saving and would rather have there 1st home instead who can ague with that but we are all putting in for a good weekend away
Why don’t you just do a SMALL intimate wedding with close loved ones and close friends. 100 people is excessive. I’ve too dreamed of a beautiful wedding and I compromised on a JP wedding because my husband gets severe anxiety in front of people. That may be whats wrong with him. Men just doesn’t mention things like that.
Big weddings arent my thing. They arent my husbands either. We got married in vegas and had like 15 guests. $300 in total and it was my dream wedding. Ate buffet after too! I mean, its personal preference. Weddings are stressful and expensive.
Have a small wedding and a big reception
We had 60 people and even then stuff added up fast. Honestly I’m glad we didn’t have a lot of people we were able to buy a our house after we got married and don’t have a loan for a wedding. Maybe have a small wedding at a park with a shelter they can still be beautiful and you can wear a white dress
Hold out for the wedding. If not you will resent your spouse.
You both need to communicate your feelings about the wedding. Meet in the middle. What is more important to you marrying him and spending the rest of your lives together or a big fancy expensive wedding. After everything is said and done the cost of a wedding could go down for a house. He may be stressing about the cost. You never know until you both have an intimate talk. You already made him feel like you are on board with this.
Be honest. I mean if you only see being with him you’ll only get this chance once
Ive been married twice and neither time did i get a wedding. I did what they wanted and went to the courthouse. It was my biggest regret. I wish i got thebchance to wear a wedding dress and have pics done at our wedding but no i didnt get that. It bugs me still 9 years later
My fiance wanted a small wedding just the 2 of us! Not even an after party just us 2 & that’s it 
But & I’ve always dreamed about a big wedding with all our family & having the fairytale he knows that so were currently planning our big wedding for next year 
xx
I have been married 14 years I did not wear a wedding dress on my wedding day I regret it all the time! The wedding pictures that I have were not professionally done they were just pictures that the Family we did invite took their hidden in an album and I show them to no one
Do not spend money on a big wedding and a dress you will wear one time rather your wedding small are big your still married you will find over time you wished you had that money.
If my hubby had it his way we’re have all of 4 guest plus us at his dream wedding. Your dream wedding is 100 guest. Compromise for a 50 guest wedding. That’s how I convinced my hubby to agree to a bigger wedding. You deserve your special day but so does he so meet on the middle.
If people don’t want your comments then don’t put it out there. Just saying
Invest your money where you can get a bigger return. A wedding is one day to impress other people then done. A whole lotta money down the drain…
Too many couple plan a wedding costing $$$… people should spend time planning their marriage… money, saving, where and how to live, children? Discipline, family,
religion, etc
Wishing you both the best!
Have a destination wedding. Then you can both have what you want 
…i don’t even like more than 8 people…100 is…wayyyyyy to many
Some of you are forgetting it is their wedding not just hers so real advice other than its your day should be good for her.
I’m seeing waaaaay too many women say that she should get what she wants.
Yeah. Show your husband to be that his wants are secondary. That’s a super way to start a marriage… compromise is for quitters, right? /s
If the size of your wedding is such a significant hang up, you don’t sound ready to marry. If you can be comfortable completely disregarding his opinion on a day that is his too, instead of meeting in the middle, you lack the communication skills and grace to be a spouse.
This? It won’t be your hardest disagreement. In fact it will probably be a minor concern compared to things like parenting (if you choose to), choosing a home, buying a car… dealing with losses and grief and hurt feelings… all of that will be harder than this, and if you completely steamroll him, your marriage isn’t going to be a healthy one, the same as it wouldn’t be if he steamrolled your opinions.
Grow and compromise. Or start this marriage on the wrong foot. Those are your options.