Start by going to therapy, tell them everything so there is records of what he does to you. When you go to a divorce attorney take this therapy records they will put him far away from you for abuse. And you get to keep costume and even the house.
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Makes me so mad how 90% of the advise is to divorce! 
What is wrong with you people?!!!
She never said she’s being beaten, neglected, he’s not a drunk, or drug addict.
Marriage takes WORK! COMMITMENT!!!
It just sounds like she’s closed to the idea of staying and working and trying harder. Men sense that so they become defensive and seem mean but they’re not. He sounds like a wonderful husband.
Honestly to me it sounds like she found someone else and wants something new and exciting!
Remember you took the vows and they’re forever!! Stop treating marriage and vows like toilet paper. 
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I think it’s very easy for someone to judge what u are going through based on one paragraph. U r living this life not us. We can’t tell u what’s right or wrong. Everyone deserves to be happy but maybe u have to truly understand what that means to u and y it isn’t there. It sounds like u don’t have something for u (hobby or a simple yoga class). Having something that is urs and separates u from ur home is important and might bring u some happiness. This could bring resentment like u mentioned. He should support that. I don’t know him but it sounds like he might have a lack of self esteem which would be the cause to his controlling tendencies. Maybe u both need therapy but maybe u need therapy for urself too. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with u, far from it. What I’m saying is that maybe u need support to recognize what ur feelings really are and where they stem from so u can correct it without leaving him.
Coming from divorced parents myself, it was very hard at the time but know now they are much happier apart. However they tried very hard to make it work and didn’t end the marriage until I was 17.
I think u should think-did I do everything I could to make this work…EVERYTHING. Did u give it ur ALL ur absolute BEST. Bc this isn’t just ur life now this is ur children’s lives too. If the answer is yes then ok but if the answer is no u have not done everything then think of ways u can.
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You need to be brutally honest about what you need in a relationship. You married young. There is a huge amount of growth and change between when you got married and now. Try clear communication and perhaps marriage counseling.
It sounds like you have closed your heart to him. It is hard to open back up but you can try. Fall in love with him again. Start dating again. Make time for the two of you. Think about things that you love about him. Try doing nice things for him. If you show him you care he will reciprocate.
Marriage isn’t falling in love once and staying in love. It is falling in love, falling out of love and falling back in love again. Never stop dating. Never stop trying to keep your relationship alive. Always make time for each other.
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Leave so he can find someone that will love him for him 
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If he has made you stay at home and not work you can get alimony and child support but if you didnt just get up and work you are looking at just child support make sure you have a support system in place family friends who are willing to care for you and get govenment assistance food stamps medicaid and stuff
If u want to leave then leave but what I dont understand is you seem mad that he wants to share custody which means he wants to be his kids life - why would u have a problem with that?
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Get a lawyer, go to court for a custody order and divorce
It’s very hard but I did it and I’ve been taking care of my kids by myself for over a year now, I’m not rich but I’m making it work! I went to court without a lawyer and got custody of them, I feel less stress than being with him. I left the house and everything in it and started over. I was a stay at home mom for 6 years and we got together when I was 19 so I was pretty much in the same situation. Whatever you choose, you just have to want it!
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I recommend you stop sleeping with him because your emotionally abusing him. He probably thinks u still love him and ur toying with him.
If he really wants to fix things you both need to seek help. Professional help. You both need a job.
You are toying with him by having more children and then telling him u dont want a relationship.
It sounds like to me he might not be controlling he thinks ur seeing someone else. He probably doesnt understand u not wanting to fix things.
Yall need therapy.
I suggest , get a job, get professional help EVEN if its not for both of u. You need it because u need it too.
Also, get a lawyer after getting a job.
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I don’t your background so I’m going to go out on a whim and say I think you need to start finding you, maybe look at what makes YOU happy and stop focusing on him. Being a stay at home Mom makes leaving tougher, but in finding what you’re passionate about I’m thinking you could also start working. In this way you will gain your own independence. It will give you a sense of control in your life.
Gow is asking 5050 to much no one should keep the house play it fair they are his kids too if your not happy then do seperate but the stuff your complaining about isnt end a marriage bad to me personally. He obviously loves his kids too.
Sounds like her mind is made up already
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Get a job and tell him it just for you and youll think itll will help with you moodiness. Which really it does i was a stay at home for 6 years and once i started working my stress went way down that way you have a way to support your kids and a way to find opportunities for house ect. This would be a great place to start and if you do decide to leave like you want then youll have money to and a way to support you and you family.
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I feel like marriage doesn’t mean anything anymore. It’s pretty sad. Dating is the time to choose if you want to be with that person or not. Not once you are married.
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Yall been together since u were very young and youve been a sahm and that gets pretty depressing especially for a young person who haven’t really experienced any amt of freedom. U need some space. U guys should communicate abt u getting at least one day a fortnight for yourself no kids etc to relax and do you. All relationships have problems so instead of ending a marriage that can be fixed work on it together. U meed some emotional support
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Stop having babys, get an education ,so you can get a job. Then think about a divorce.Go to church make friends
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You need to get a job ,try taking care of kids and job before giving up ,life is hard,marriage is very hard ,but being a single mom is harder,lonely and there is not your husband to take up the slack, give a job a try ,maybe then 6 months of living separately ,no cheating ,see what is what,once he’s gone you may not be able to get him back
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Grass isn’t always greener on the other side
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Why should you get the kids? They are just as much his as yours, he can support them, how are you going to take care of them with no job experience,no support according to you, you need to think about this.
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Records him when hes begin like that such as like that then bring that up in court against him
I feel like this is more about you then him. But im not there to see the ins and outs. You have been with him since you were young. You feel trapped. Lost. Stuck. Start taking small steps to finding yourself. Do things that make u feel good. Get a job if you can. Build some independance so you can break away from that finacial hold he has on you. Seek cojnseling if not for both of you atleast for yourself. That will help you gain enough self esteem to decide what to do. Good luck. Not judging. Hope you find happiness
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He’s emotionally abusing you. Hire an attorney, sue him to pay for court alimony etc
If he makes the income and is the some supporter, you’re likely eligable for spousal support.
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You should try marriage counseling before a divorce. You made 3 kids with the guy. You should try to work things out before just giving up unless he is abusive.
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All these negative comments are not what this lady needs! Let me tell you I don’t know shit about being married never have I been married but it sounds like truly you are unhappy. I saw this in my parents relationship, long story short when my parents got a divorce shit flipped quick. I am not saying that will happen to you but you should do what your gut tells you. Don’t keep your kids away from him my mother tried that with me and I hated her for it, you don’t want that to happen. But do things in a civil way , the way, when your kids are old enough to understand they don’t hate you for it when you tell them what went down with your relationship. Might not make 100% sense in what I’m trying to say but I wish you the best of luck.
Go back to school try that let him handle the children and one question does he work
Another question is how does he abuse you maybe both should get advice concerning counseling services .But you should have the children if abusive behaviour is from him
Neaver stay with a man just because he earned the money cause then you are abusing yourself that way .find a way to get help go to a lawyer separate from him and find work or social services that can help . he is not thinking straight .The children are going to hurt either way and will need support as well I know have done this
Sad to see all these negative comments up above.
I support you momma! Sometimes you cant just stay for the kids people🙄
Most judges will grant the house to the mother if it’s in both y’alls names… if the judge doesnt do that you can force him to buy you out.
My advice would be to get a job now, send the kids to daycare (a good one, dont be scared ) save you up some money.
Maybe you just need a BREAK and that’s okay.
If you still feel the same way once you got your “mad money” as I call it saved up, leave!
Be smart about it though.
If it was me personally I’d be opening up my own bank acct NOW secretively and depositing money into it , you will need it to get you and your kids started.
If they grant 50/50 that will suck so bad at first but you’ll get use to it eventually. And it will give some YOU time. Maybe you need that to find yourself again.
But go in steps. Dont jump to a decision all at once.
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Try marriage counseling before you walk away find a hobby get a part time job make a date night once a week just you and him
You are finding faults in him your not happy but do you expect him to support you financially after you leave him to find yourself it’s time for you to put your big girl panties on and make sure this is what you really want then get a job because you are responsible to take care of the kids when there with you not him do you have money saved for moving out paying rent car payment car insurance phone bill groceries etc again are you prepared to financially take care of you and your kids not assistance food stamps you made those kids you want out you gotta handle it that’s what goes on in the real world of single parenting before you disrupt your life as you know it try counseling find a hobby get a job save your money
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We can all give advice, but you must have to decide yourself what you want to do. We have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.
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I’m seeing a couple of red flags here. He hides clothes of yours that he doesn’t like? He doesn’t want you to do things without him? That’s not healthy. if you do decide to leave, be sure you have a plan; you will need a job and a place to live. He will have to contribute to the support of the children, but alimony laws differ from state to state. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
Who is the primary carer. The one who does the majority of the child care?
I don’t know where you are but courts favour the status quo in the UK when it comes to the children expectations of how their life will continue.
If you have been the primary carer for their lives I can’t see a judge agreeing to him having 50/50 contact if he cannot show that the childrens lives would not be massively interrupted.
For example if he works fulltime then who would be having the children. Particularly your 18 month old?
In regards to the house, you have been together 10 years you should be entitled to half at the least. If he has worked and you have enabled him to work fulltime by raising the children you have contributed to the house. Without you he would have a
Had to pay, nannies, cleaners, after school clubs, holiday clubs etc etc etc.
Honestly go and get some legal advice. Through word of mouth from friends or someone else you know find someone good and go have a chat about your options. Stop letting your husband dictate the narrative.
Call a lawyer. They’ll know your options.
Pack your shit and get out.
Maybe he would be open to counselling? My thoughts would be if cou councelling doesn’t work, you can have them help you make him understand you are serious about not wanting to keep it going with him.
His mind he’s probably thinking he knows you won’t actually go thru it but hearing it from a 3rd party like a councillor or at least in front of one might help. And there are lots of resources to help you as well
First things first he will indeed get 50/50 custody of the kids so before you go through with anything there is that to think very heavily on. YOU are living what once was my life.
Get income, get a lawyer, get away from him.
Peace out, get a lawyer and move on. Try to be civil though for the kids.
Marriage councling. Get a job and put money aside so you can support yourself and the kids. There is nothing wrong with 50/50 as long as he doesnt abuse the kids.
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No judge will make you leave the house, and is very rare for ANY judge to order 50/50 custody if you (it’s) contested. Find out if your county/ state has childcare assistance- get a job, or consider training/ schooling. Get on wait list for legal aide, someone to help you w a divorce, get your ball rolling. Don’t rely on him, start taking back your independence!!
DON’T LEAVE THE HOUSE, would be real hard, if not impossible to get back in. And surely don’t leave the kids w him, prob won’t get them back.
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There is support out there…you should make a plan call the womans shelter in your area. If he loves you he’ll want to see you better your life…trust me on this one I’m going through it right now.ya it’s not all milk and cookies but if you think the relationship is toxic it’s time to go.
I wouldn’t leave until a plan has been set and you are ready to follow thru.
First. Figure out your finances…
Include child care because you will have to get a job…
Talk to a family lawyer…
Do this on your own…
Decide if you are willing to go alone raising your kids, if you two can work on your marriage…maybe with help from counseling…
Don’t walk out of the house with your kids unless you and they are in danger…
Make a inform decision not emotional…
Good luck
Don’t have any more children