I have a 4yo boy and a 9 month old baby girl. I got a baby fever and would love another baby, but my husband is not on board. Please talk me out of it! I don’t want to feel this way. …
He has a right to he is right that decision just like if you decided you didn’t wanna have another baby and he did
You have 2; that’s enough. You need to respect his wishes.
I wouldn’t push for it right now. You just had a baby not even a year ago.
Although he’s thankful you put your body through that long pregnancy and spent the last 9 months adjusting to two kids.
He is probably feeling a bit overwhelmed. Us mothers deal with the stress of parenthood a little differently. He’s still finding his new norm.
Wait until your baby is 2 yrs old. Bring it up around then.
You have boy, and you have a girl. It’s perfect
This should be a joint decision.
Yall are awful… no, it may not be “enough” for her. She didn’t say she was gonna go behind his back and get pregnant. She very clearly stated she wants help not wanting a baby so bad so she doesn’t feel this way BECAUSE she is respecting his wishes.
My advice is 1. Give it time. Don’t push the topic as it can be very overwhelming. 2. Decide how serious it is that you want another. Is it a deal breaker? 3. Have one serious conversation without interruptions about your seriousness on the matter and a time line etc where you can both express your sides and see if each of you are set in your decision or if you rather are willing to wiggle. 4. Enjoy your baby now while you can
It’s a tough one. Everyone is just saying to respect his wishes but your wishes matter too. I would leave it for now as baby is still young and revisit it in a year or so. That way, time has passed for u both to consider each other’s viewpoint and your children are older so u can joint decide if having another baby is something that would work for your family.
Your feelings are valid and should be respected too
You know they become teenagers right? Where it costs an arm and a leg to raise them and all the thanks you get are attitudes and doors slammed in your face, do you want to experience 3 qt the same time of this? Wait till your kids are least getting closer to being more independent enough.g 9-10yrs old.
That should be talked about before a marriage. I get you want another child, however, if he doesn’t, then you need to decide if it’s a deal breaker. It’s wrong to force a child on anyone, regardless of gender. I would just sit down and talk to him, communication is key
I wanted another one and my husband didn’t. He knew since we had our daughter that I really wanted to try for a boy and was always like nope nope nope and he always made sure to give no way for an " accident " pregnancy but he has 2 from a previous and I had one from previous that he adopted then we have our 3 year old and our older ones is a huge age gap and our little girl is lonely and in December he stopped avoiding pregnancy and I found out I was pregnant in April and it’s a boy and our last and I feel complete! Don’t push him like others said give him time he may see that the youngest needs someone closer in age.
It takes two years for our body’s to fully recover as well as our hormones. Just wait and feel it out then.
Your body isn’t even healed from the last one
Also, how much money do you have/make? If you wind up divorced could you support three kids on your own (even with child support it’s a lot). Just some things to think about.
Daycare on the cheap side is 550 a month…per kid. Maybe a little discount for multiples.
As a mom of 4 quite unexpected kiddos, I say enjoy the babies you have, and come back to the idea later on! A)pushing it will only cause tension as time goes on b) you could be wanting another because your mama heart doesn’t want to accept that your babies are growing up all too fast! I LOVED my time as a mom of 1 for 4 years, we tried for number 2 for 2 years of it only to have 1 assumed miscarriage (physicians assistant at ER told me abnormal bleeding was normal when I rushed in due to bleeding very heavily randomly after coughing about 2 weeks after my period ended), then the following year had a confirmed miscarriage, and 3 months later a ruptured ectopic nearly took me out with it resulting in loss of my left tube and I was to call in feb 2021 for fertility meds and instead got lucky and called for a pregnancy confirmation instead, then got pregnant 5ish months later, and then got pregnant again around 5ish months after that one only days after discussing getting my tubes tied. I had 2nd born November 2021, February 2023 had my 3rd, and may of this year had my 4th. I feel guilty that my oldest got so long with me and my other 2 being only 15 months between each birth didn’t get time to enjoy being center of attention for very longer. I feel as though I missed out on the fun and exciting months of learning to crawl/walk/talk because I found out I was expecting around the 6 months mark with the next one. I of course wouldn’t trade them for the world, but wish I’d had more time to enjoy them each being so tiny. This one is my last (I didn’t get tubes tied due to needing an emergency C-section however do plan to in near future) and I am feeling grateful to enjoy all the little moments as they’re her first but my last firsts…
Go for it ! My third is amazing- she keeps me busy still!
Just wait til the second is actually fully mobile, remember that if you tried for a new baby you’ll be dealing with a 5 yr old, a toddler hitting the terrible 2s, AND a newborn. Yeahhhh no thanks I bet you’re already tired right? You’ll get even less sleep. Your baby now will get very little time as “the baby” and personally that makes me sad and why my kids are 6 yrs apart. Everything is just getting more and more expensive and I don’t see it ending any time soon. Lastly, albeit maybe the most important, if you convince your husband while he doesn’t actively want another you risk him growing resentments towards you or worse even possibly towards the baby.
Nope. You just had a baby. Listen to your husband
Advice?
Don’t have another baby…unless you’re prepared to be a single mother of 3
You either agree to bring another human into this world to take care of or you do not have anymore children.
He is allowed to nit want anymore kids nor want that responsibility a 3rd time.
You make peace that he doesn’t want another or you leave to find someone who doesn’t mind(or is willing to risk it).
It may be where your baby is still very little. Maybe revisit it in a couple years & see! Your body needs at least 2 years to completely heal from your previous pregnancy!
It takes your body 2 years to recover from each pregnancy. Give yourself time to heal and see how things are later.
Don’t force it. Imagine if it were the other way around. This is stuff you should have discussed before marriage.
I would not bring another child into this world the way it is now for nothing in the world
Your youngest is still fresh out of the womb give it time
I have one from a previous and found out I was pregnant with my now 3yo, my partner said he doesn’t want another (hard birth, surgery for babe and we both just about very luckily survived, it was traumatising for us both). I said aw I’d love another. Just one more. We had 2 girls and I always wanted a boy. He said no but didn’t prevent it. I fell pregnant and now have a 15m old boy, he said he obv new it would happen and wanted me to have another if that’s what I wanted but he didn’t think it would happen so quick but glad they’re close in age (my eldest is 10). But 100% wants no more, me neither. He’s happy I got my boy but he makes sure I have my depo every 3 month. we didn’t take precautions so I new I was gonna have a 3rd but we agreed on no more as we couldn’t afford anymore. We are ok with our 3 and r able to take them on holidays etc and make Christmas and birthdays special. anymore would prevent that and I’ve got my hands full, I’m good You do need to talk it out a little in the future though, you both should be on the same page. You don’t want him set on having no more then resenting you if you become pregnant because it happens.
I would say try to enjoy your baby as much as you can right now soak it all up every moment that you can. I know right now I’m sure your husband is still dealing with a lot as you are going from two kids to three can see him like a lot and overwhelming especially you know when you still have a baby that depends on you for every little thing. I know that pregnancy can be difficult for women but I know my husband had a hard time when I was pregnant he didn’t really know what to expect or what to do or how to help he was just really out of his element and very overwhelmed and also felt a little neglected I don’t know if your husband may be experiencing some of those things but it could still all be kind of new to him and he’s trying to navigate. My little one just turned four so I definitely understand the whole baby fever thing lol My husband doesn’t want more either I think financially it’s just not the best decision, at least not for us I know that would put a lot more pressure on him. I’m just trying to enjoy every moment that I can. I would suggest the same just keep trying to enjoy and being little because he’s still doing so many things for the first time since the baby is only 9 months they still have a lot of growing to do before they’re a little more independent. I would wait maybe one or two more years if possible and then see how you feel and then bring up the subject again if it’s still in your heart that you want another one. I think that’ll help your husband giving that time he’ll have more time to adjust you’ll have two kids that are a little older not so dependent on you for every little thing and life starts to get a little easier at that point so I’m sure by then he will be missing the baby stage as well. Or maybe in time both of you will like having a little bit more freedom back in a little bit more time for each other not always having an infant around. I know if it was me I would have a difficult time trying to still give all my attention to such a small child while being pregnant at the same time because toddlers as you know are everywhere into everything and every pregnancy is very different so you never know how this one may go if you decide to have another one right now and that’s something else to consider as well. You don’t want to put way too much on yourself getting pregnant and raising a toddler and an older child all at the same time that could add a lot of added stress not just mentally but physically as well and it could add a lot of stress to your marriage. That’s why and if it was me anyway I would prefer to wait just a couple years to give it a little more time.
No means no! . Why don’t you listen to him. He is allowed to decide how many kids he wants.
Hubby and I have one boy. We both wanted another but with the cost of living, childcare and food. To us, it wasn’t worth raising them in poverty to have more. We both have to work to survive. I’d rather give my one child the world if I can then to bring more in and struggle! The economy is not designed for working families unfortunately:/
I believe it’s the woman’s choice. You do you sweetie. Pm me for suggestions.
Talk you out of it?
He said no. Bringing a HUMAN into the world should be two enthusiastic yes’s.
Personally I have enough respect for my husband not to try and haggle him into making such a big commitment when it’s obviously something he doesn’t want.
How about confirm you can afford the two you have?
If it has to be respectful for women to be heard it must go both ways… he has said no… so respect this… You are undermining his decision on this…
Maybe come back round to it in 9 more months. Maybe he’s just not ready as soon as you are. Revisit the conversation when youngest is older.
My husband wanted to stop at 3 but I wanted 1 more. I told him if he wouldn’t then I’d find another way to lol I wasn’t budging on what I wanted so he gave in, we now have 5 lol but we are so happy we have all of them, we love our big family