It could be another surprise baby.
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He might change his mind when your son gets older.
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Not a deal breaker. When I met my husband I had an 8 month old and he first told me he didn’t want kids. Then he fell in love with her and said she was all he needed. Then we decided to have another and he said no more. Now she’s 9 months and he says he wants one more. He may very well change his mind don’t let it stress you out and Don’t Force It. But it’s definitely not a reason to leave him your baby is only a year old you have time
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You knew he didn’t want kids. Why would you want to leave him because he doesn’t want kids ? The guy was honest with you from the beginning
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Relationships are about compromise. In a healthy relationship each person puts the interests and needs of their significant other ahead of themselves.
His responsibility at a minimum is to sit down with you and hear your dreams. Which he will do if he really loves you.
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I’m the one that decided that I was one and done. He wanted more, I did not. Realistically, we could not afford another child. Our son has special needs, he keeps me busy. Having one child is totally okay. I applaud moms with multiple kids. I couldn’t handle it.
My partner was the same we had two daughters young and didn’t want anymore at all fast forward 11 years and he asked me sometimes it’s down to maturity and if and when their ready you will know either way he was honest with you in the beginning so I don’t see how it would be a deal breaker now
DONT SETTLE!!! If you want more kids and he doesn’t then you are young enough to move on and find someone that does! These women on here can say whatever they want to, but, they AREN’T you and easy for them to say! You do you, and do what your heart is telling you to do, you don’t want to have any regrets later in life!! Good luck!!
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Give him a few more years. He’s still got some maturing to do.
Whatever you do, do NOT purposely have another “surprise” baby while one if you are party to it. That’s toxic and unhealthy.
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Having a sibling is not all it is cracked up to be and he has done nothing wrong. Not every child is healthy. Remember ALL this too…
You knew from the beginning that he didn’t want kids, so what’s the problem. You had 1 child, that he probably didn’t want and now you expect him to just change his mind. No! You are wrong, he told you that he didn’t want any. So not a deal breaker
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Just wait a couple years and ask again don’t push him maybe he will change his mind
maybe just see what happens. if its meant to be it will be. jus like your first
If that’s how he feels then that’s how he feels, he could change his mind but I doubt it. Now you have to decide whether that’s ok with you or not
Your still very young I have a nearly 3 year old I was told I’d never have kids without help of Ivf but I have my beautiful little boy me and his dad didn’t work out and Ive been in a new relationship for just over a year he loves my son so much and can’t wait to have his own, I don’t know if I’ll ever manage to get pregnant again but he’s with me anyway knowing this it should never be a game changer of you love someone
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He wanted none and you have one
Worry about 2 when you are ready
Enjoy now
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He might change his mind as the child grows. My husband originally said just one. Then we unexpectedly got pregnant with our 2 year old. Then he said just one more and we planned our current 5 month old. Now he says we can have one more and try again in next year or two for our 4th and final. He could change his mind but it doesn’t mean he will.
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You’re son is just a baby and you guys are very young so wait till your son is a bit older and then you can decide if you’re ready for another kid.
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He told you up front he didn’t want any kids and you still pursued the relationship.
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You were with him with the understanding from the gecko he doesn’t want kids. Things happened you have a baby. Now you want to have another child but he still adamant that he does not want any more children. He was no children things happened you chose to have the child. Be grateful you have the one child it’s OK so your time and effort that one child while you may want to have a sibling for your child there are other ways of doing it may be down the line you can take a you know become fostering parents or something. But if he’s that admit that he does not want more children do not press the issue I could turn your relationship south real quick.
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He didn’t want kids in the first place…
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You knew from the beginning that he did not want kids. He told you in the beginning. Y’all happened to accidentally get pregnant. It was not a choice. It was prevented but still happened.
He is being 100%honest that he does not want any more kids. You can’t force that. You can’t change his mind. You’ve tried talking about it. He says he doesn’t want anymore kids.
You either accept that OR be done with this relationship and move on
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It would be a deal breaker for me. Unless he agrees to me getting artificial insemination and registering the baby to just myself. The good news is he’s just a boyfriend; you don’t even need to file for divorce.
The first child was a surprise, so why not the second. Stop your pill.
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At least give the guy some credit though. He did say from the beginning that he didn’t want kids. Yes you have since had a child together but it wasn’t intentional. It wasn’t a decision made together. Yes he’s done great in the roll of dad but intentionally having a child needs to be something that you both agree on. You can either wait around and see if he changes his mind later on which he might not, you can decide that 1 child is enough, or, if neither of those options work, you can still have a good co-parenting relationship and find someone that meets your needs and you meet his
He said he didn’t want kids ….u ended up getting pregnant & he’s embracing his role as a father & taking responsibility. But he’s made it clear he didn’t want them from the beginning. U can’t force anyone to have a child. This post is just weird. B/c if the roles were reversed ppl would definitely have something different to say.
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Been there had to deal with my emotions as I love my partner and had to respect he was done lol but you’re very young maybe things will change later
In this instance you are the one whos guilty of the bait and switch, he was upfront about his reproductive wishes from the onset of your relationship, that being said you are not the first person that has had the biological imperative to reproduce threaten to upend their relationship, good luck weighing this one out, consider your childs well being first, yours second, and your relationship third
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The relationship you had with your brother cannot be guaranteed if you “give your child a sibling.” I have three older brothers and none of us are close. You’re only 21; who knows what you’ll want in 5 years? If you start a career, you might prefer to focus on that. Kids are also expensive. Raising a kid from birth to age 18 (not including college) costs about $275,000!
It’s too soon to know if you’ll definitely want a kid, and you shouldn’t do it just for your current child. The other question is even if you want another child, is it worth breaking up your current family to have one?
Be sure to look at the whole picture here.
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Okay first of all as people have said you knew from the beginning he didn’t want kids and second you said you don’t want another right now so whats the rush? Don’t push him into it, yes he took responsibility for your first child but that doesn’t automatically mean he wants more. If it bothers you that much leave.
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Well you do have a child to think about now. Why would you take him away from his daddy. Alot of men would have walked away the first pregnancy I see it all the time. Keep your family unit together. You are young things change. Hold on to what you have.
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My husband use to say the same after our 1st daughter. Took until she was 4.5 for him to open up to the idea, now we have an almost 10 year old and a 4 year old. Let him enjoy the daughter you guys have. Things happen when they are meant to 
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Well that sucks…he said no kids…you had one, now you even tally want more…I suggest be happy with the little family you have.One is better then none and to split up a happy family with a happy child and happy parents over having another child is a poor excuse.If there was no child then I’d say move along but there is a child
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I mean. You’re speaking to him about something you’d like in the future. So having him decide right this minute seems unreasonable.
He already told you he didn’t want kids to begin with, yet you stayed and got pregnant. You’re lucky he stuck around and is a good partner/father. To say him not wanting a second after not even wanting a first “hurts you”… I’d say you were pretty self centred. I’d remember that if his wishes were truly taken into account, you probably wouldn’t have any kids to begin with, and you still chose to stay. 
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If it’s that important to you and he does not want any other kids you will grow to resent him and it will cause issues in the future. I would either leave or see if he changes his mind in the future. But don’t live with regrets
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It wouldn’t be a deal breaker. Just because he does t want anymore kids, doesn’t mean. He won’t eventually change his mind. Are yall in a place to Financially take care of another child, do yall have good insurance and stable jobs? Men think more into having a child other then the occasion baby fever. Have yall talked about marriage, there are a lot of factors that go into other then I want another baby and he doesn’t. Have you discussed why he didn’t want to have children, and doesn’t want another? I said I didn’t want anymore after my first, but Im currently pregnant with my 3rd. My first and second are 8 years apart. I even want to have another one right after I have this one 
may e drop the subject altogether and come back to it at a year or so, perhaps a few.
To be fair to you, you were young when you got together. Still are. Both of you. Things change. My husband wanted no children and we have four. When we got together I had two and he adopted them and we had two more together. You’re both still very young. Give it time. If you love one another you will get through this.
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You just had a baby. That change is drastic for both people if neither one of you had children previous to this. Give it time. He might change his mind. Right now one might feel overwhelming but maybe 2-4 years along the line ppl change their mind. My friend said he never wanted kids. He said something about “the earth dying” and not wanting to bring more ppl into it. Fast forward he just had his first son at 37 and he’s in love! Finally found the right woman and decided to make a baby! Ppl change their minds all the time. A one year old is a lot of work. When that one year old gets easier he might be more open to the idea. He originally didn’t want any kids and see how that turned out?
He didn’t leave you high and dry with a baby. Be patient. 
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Just give him some time. Men think money. You are at the expensive part, diapers, formula all that. Give him so time just continue letting him know that your heart desires one more.
It would’ve been a deal breaker to me. Only bc I wasn’t sure I did or didn’t want another one. My hubs was open to the discussion which was what I wanted.
Has he told you why? Some men are afraid of child support and losing contact bc of a bad break up. Sit down and really have him tell you why he feels that way. Based on his reasons, you’ll have your answer.
he’s overwhelmed it’s hard first time “dading” give him some time. as he sees baby grow he will change his mind. Let him know it’s important to you and that you hope one day he will come around… he will… happy wife… happy life. all the best.
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You should not be in a relationship with someone that is opposite on such a big decision. He made it clear from the start. I am glad he is a good dad to his kid but he’s making it clear he doesn’t want more. So you have a choice. Stay with him knowing you won’t have another and deal with your want or find someone that wants kids with you. This is one of the reasons many marriages don’t work. No communication and believing you can change someone. Also don’t try to trick him into another by getting pregnant “accidentally”, he will resent you.
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Tell him this! Make sure he understands this importance to you and communicate about future possibilities or not. You were told from the beginning he didn’t want more. But before leaving a relationship be sure your clear with him. Communication is so important.
I think it’s time to leave. Fundamentally you guys want different things. He was very very clear about not wanting children and has embraced the accidental pregnancy but is clear there won’t be another. Do you want him to resent you for forcing something he didn’t want? And how is fair to the child? It’s not fair to anyone and your. Your bet is to leave so you guys can each fulfill your own wants and dreams.
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- Do you want a child more than a relationship? That’s what you have to think about right now. 2. Breaking up DOES NOT hurt your kid IF yall know how to co parent correctly. Personally, I would never sacrafice having a child for a man. That dude can cheat on you tomorrow and blow the whole relationship but once your fertility is gone, it’s gone. If you are content with the idea of potential adoption, then it would be ok.
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Girl be happy you have a man that stayed I have 5 kids the older two don’t even know their dad at all my husband now raised them and we have a girl who is 4 and a boy that just turned 1 and I’m currently pregnant with our fifth breaking up a family over that is a bad decision.
If he told you in the beginning he didn’t want kids, that should’ve been a deal breaker for you. If it were me, I wouldn’t force that on him.
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I mean id tell him this and try to compromise but that being said if he had made it clear that he didn’t want any kids at all. I can understand WHY he’d say no to more after already having one that ultimately, in the beginning he was never planning to have.
I can definitely see it from both sides
Why doesn’t he want kids? Financial pressure, too much responsibility, loss of freedom, something else? Can you alleviate some of the resistance? Getting a job/better paying job, you paying for childcare help, showing him you can take the kids with you on adventures or that you have a few solid people to take care of your child/children while you two take off somewhere.
You’re still really young and you should see how things go with the one you have first. You may change your mind after she/he starts talking, learns to say NO! really well, becomes more mobile and turns the house upside down, finds your wallet and puts it in the diaper pail (that happened to us!), starts having tantrums or night terrors, or gets sick a lot or winds up with a disability.
Just like kittens turn into cats quickly, and their personalities can turn on a dime, babies don’t stay little and sweet forever but you are a parent for life through all the phases. Are you ready to be a mom of a threenager or of a teenager? Now think about two. And think how many years total you’ll be changing stinky diapers.
But if you truly want more kids after this one turns three and your man hasn’t changed his mind, it may be time to move on.
If it’s not a now thing why make a big deal out of it? He may change his mind with time but you pressuring when you yourself dont even want another at this very moment seems silly.
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Imo he probably is expressing his fears of not being able to provide for another child in a way of saying he doesn’t want it…with him being a good father to a child he initially expressed he didn’t want…it’s more of a refusal to the pressure rather than refusal to love another family member.
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He told you straight up he didn’t want any kids maybe be grateful for the one you got
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It’s very overwhelming having a child and you want to have a second and he doesn’t want that… your not considering what he wants only what you want because you have a brother.
If a second baby happens it will be if you both want it but don’t leave because you want it now, it won’t just happen, a child could take years even happen when your child is a teenager so stop worrying so much about having one now and enjoy the one you do have while he /she is young.
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Well you have 2 options. Either leave or accept the fact that he is happy with one.
You’ve got 20 more years to have another baby.
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Do not “accidentally” get pregnant again when he’s told you no. Live with it or move on.
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Your both so young give it a few years and ask him again
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If the two of you are not on the same page over a major life decision like this…than yes that’s a deal breaker. Compromise works only to a certain extent…this is not a car purchase that your compromising on- this is your future- one of 2 things will happen- if you force him to have another he will end up resenting you or you make the choice to not have another and you end up resenting him- both will lead to the failure of the relationship down the line. It’s ok to leave if the person your with has a different vision of the future than you- no matter how good he treats you. No one can answer this for you though. This is something you have to determine for yourself- are you willing to sacrifice more kids? Can you do it without resenting him? Can you do it and be fulfilled and happy? If yes than stay. If no, than it’s going to fail anyway and make you miserable- and no amount of how good someone treats you is going to cure you from being miserable and resentful. You just have to determine what you want and what you can ultimately live with either way.
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If he doesn’t want one then he doesn’t. If you didn’t want one and he did, you wouldn’t have a baby for him just because he wanted you too.
Do not listen to people telling you to hold out hope he will change his mind. He probably won’t. He is a grown man and he knows what he wants. At 27 we didn’t want any more kids either.
You need to make a decision and stick with it. If you need help dealing with resentment go to therapy. You have two choices: stay with this man and accept that you will have one child or leave him and hope you meet a man who will marry you and give you another child. The second child isn’t a sure thing even if you leave, it’s a possibility. None of us can tell you what you should do.
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you knew from The begging he didn’t want any kids so If you know in your heart you do want more it’s probably time to walk away since there’s a chance he’ll never change his mind and you’ll just be settling for your child.
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I’m missing something that would be of great importance to me, you all are worried rather or not to comment to an other child or not and neither have committed to a marriage in order to give the children here and one to maybe come a good Christian home put God into the equation and you just may get things in order.how can this man commit to another child when he or you caint commit to a marriage or to have God to be part of your decisions.
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from experience you need to move on. i was in the same sitch with my daughters father. he was 21 i was 23 never wanted kids. accidentally got pregnant. i wanted more. he didn’t. we stayed together 4 years with me thinking he’d change his mind. i decided to finally move on. it’s not fair to sacrifice your life goals and wants that are THAT big! i am 31 now married to a wonderful family man and we have 4 beautiful kids now (my daughter included in the 4). i know it sucks. but you both want what you want and that won’t change. eventually you will find someone who wants the same life goals as you! don’t sacrifice them bc you will regret it. i regret wasting 4 years of my life with a dead end.
You are 21…he is 27. Who knows what the next few years will bring! Don’t rush it unless your ready to trap him and possibly become a single mom of two!
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Deal with your emotions and forget about it. Easier said than done, I know. But he did state in the beginning that he didn’t want kids. It accidentally happened so of course he’s gonna accept that and love her with his whole being. But you have to remember that he really didn’t want any kids in the first place. Just my opinion.
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I wouldn’t follow the advice to “accidentally” get pregnant again. If you truly love this man, you should be working toward building that relationship. What is the goal for your relationship/family. Do you plan to get married? He may not be ready for a second child, but that may change in the future. Don’t force it. I would work toward making other goals, first.
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Listen to him! If he really does not want anymore, even if he is a good father!
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Talk to him with your heart.Say exactly what you just told us.When you love someone you care about their wants, needs, dreams ect…if after you talk to him and he still says no then be honest and tell him that this could very well be a deal breaker…and if again he says no…follow your heart.And if doing that leads you away from this man so be it.
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Considering he told you in the beginning of the relationship that he did not want kids, you should have moved on then if future kids were going to be a deal breaker.
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A relationship is about trust and respect.
Respect his wishes.
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There is no reason to leave a relationship just because your partner doesn’t want anymore kids. That’s his decision for his life. It’s a huge step having kids and a life changer no matter how many more kids people have and people should respect the males decisions. Relationships aren’t a one way street. Us females can’t always have it our way and with a decision like that he has the right to not want anymore kids. Be happy with the child or children you have. There was once a time my husband didn’t want a third a kid and I was bummed out because I wanted one more baby, but I’m not going to leave and rip him away from the children we already have together. That’s selfish. There is no reason it should be a deal breaker especially when he already said he didn’t want kids when you first got together.
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Let it go and strengthen what you have. Respect him and he will respect you.
He was honest with you from the beginning. You need to respect that. You guys have a surprise blessing and that’s wonderful but if he doesn’t want anymore children you should try to talk him into it. You should flat out just respect his decision. If his future doesn’t match what’s you want in yours then it’s time to move on.
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I wanted more and my husband didnt granted we do have 4 kids already. After our last son was born my husband got fixed. I was so upset. I come from a huge family and he doesn’t. I always thought that I would have like 7 or 8 kids. But I got to looking at things through his eyes and realized that I don’t need anyone more kids the 4 I have are amazing and they are all half grown already. Life is to short for fighting and arguing and the what ifs and how comes. If you love him and he is great in all other aspects of your relationship then focus on that. If you end up pregnant again then just go with the flow. It will happen when it happens. Protection isnt always guaranteed.
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Is he an only child? You need to understand why he never wanted any and now why he doesn’t want anymore! Once you know his reasoning maybe you’ll be more understanding. You need to realize he said he didn’t want any at all he could have walked away he didn’t if you love one another enjoy the family you have, put the rest in Gods hands.
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Side table it, after time when things settle down talk about it again. You both are young, he may change his mind after your son gets older. If he doesn’t and if having more kids is a priority to you, then move on.
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If everything else with you two is great then I would back off for now and give it some time. Let him enjoy a couple years with your 1yo and he may change his mind. You may even change your mind. As the kids get older it gets easier to miss the baby stage. That’s my opinion 
Good luck with everything!
I would wait, and he will hopefully change his mind. I wanted another one months ago and my husband was not ready. Now he wants another one. Our child is almost 29 months old.
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You’re 21!!! Give it time- you got plenty!!!
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Y’all know that she is going to “accidentally” get pregnant again. The first baby was probably an “accident on purpose.” This guy needs to get a vasectomy because it’s clear you only care about yourself.
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He may change his mind later. You just barely had your first kid, the last thing he is worried about is another one keeping him awake at night. Once those phases pass he will probably want another one.
But honestly if you’d be willing to leave over that when you just barely had your first child, then maybe you don’t love him as much as you thought you did. The fact that you even considered it as an option is kind of shocking. You guys have obviously talked this over before and he didn’t want ANY… that would have been a sign that even if one accidentally happened, he probably wouldn’t want another one. That’s not his fault. You stayed knowing this and you may wanna leave and break his heart over it? Sounds like you’re the problem here, not him. You need to figure out what you want more, because if he’s not your first option, he deserves someone that will make him their first option.
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Ask him if he would seriously think about it for the future. About your son having a sibling later on. Enjoy your time now. Don’t accidentally let it happen. That is deceptive and could also drive him away.
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Considering how expensive it is to raise one child.you will be paying a lot for their university education. Why not just have one and give them the best of everything.
I personally would embrace
His honesty
Just because he said no this time (for reasons that are personal only to you and your partner)
Doesn’t mean he won’t change his mind in the future
It shouldn’t be a deal breaker
But then I’m not walking in your shoes
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If having children was a big thing for you and he told you right at the start he didnt want ANY, why on earth didnt you move on then. Now ye have a baby together and he stayed and every other aspect is good, why would you jeopardise that child’s life with its parents, and your and your SO’s happiness for sometjing that was not supposed to ever be part of that relationship, but you stayed then and he stayed and loves you and yer baby. Get counselling to deal with your feelings and make your decision but dont resent him for his decisions that you knew fron the get go. Good luck 
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Well since this situation kinda sucks for you both. On one hand you knew and were willing to keep the relationship going before you got unexpectedly pregnant and knew he did not want kids. It’s not impractical to wish that he would want more kids but if he is adamant and it seems as if he is, then you have to choose. Either stay and deal with the fact he doesn’t want anymore and love him regardless, or and this is what I would have to do for myself, leave, co parent to the best of your abilities and start your new chapter. I don’t believe in demonizing either side here.
Give it time it will work out just overwhelmed by a 1 year old he will change his mind 
Why not get married and do it with commitment!
If he told you at the beginning he did his part. You chose to stay with him. Things happened and you have your son, your partner can love him and be a great dad, and still not want anymore. Your the one wanting plans to change, so either be happy with the one you have, or find someone else wants that too.
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You got in to this relationship knowing that he didnt want kids at all - You are allowed to change your mind on being with someone who doesnt want one, but you knew from the get go that he didnt want to have any. Yes you have a child now “unexpectedly”, but that doesnt mean he has to want more, especially when he didnt even want the first.
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He may change his mind later, or he may not. If he’s sure he doesn’t want more kids, he should probably get snipped, since you appear to be very fertile.
I feel like the shock of you having this baby unexpectedly is also still pretty fresh. You’re baby is only 1 yr. Give it some time before you panic too much. Yall are both still young and there is no rush.
Honestly he’s 27 he’s old enough to know what he wants, the fact that so many people seem to think it’s OK to convince you that convincing him to change his mind is a good idea when he was honest with you from the beginning is disappointing, your need to decide if it’s something you can live with and if it isn’t then have a conversation that involves not manipulating him to stay.