Talk to a lawyer first to find out the details that might be associated with it, then once your informed, talk to your husband and see if he can agree once all the details are clear. I can’t tell you what to do, but I’m not sure I could proceed if my husband disagreed. Get all the behind the scenes work done before mentioning it to your boss/friend.
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If your husband isn’t onboard then it’s not a good idea to do it. Pregnancy has risks to you which in turn affects your family. Surrogacy is great but it’s also a contract between multiple parties. I think you need to actually research surrogacy.
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As someone who has suffered from infertility, this might be one of the kindest things I’ve ever read. You have a heart of gold. No matter what you decide to do, I hope your boss knows how lucky she is to have you around.
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I’ve offered to do this for a friend before now as I had also had my family and cannot think of a better gift to give someone. I’ve always wanted to be a surrogate. I don’t mind being pregnant but not too keen on the new baby stage with no sleep 
You are a kind soul but I had the complete backing of my husband and my children before I even breached the subject with a friend x you need a strong support system too
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Definitely need your husband on board and by your side. I am 23 weeks pregnant in my 3rd surrogate journey. It can be absolutely emotionally, mentally and physically draining.
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Your first thing is to get your husband on board, because if you can’t then you can’t do a surrogacy as you need their support to get through all the initial stages of being accepted as a surrogate.
I’ve just completed a surrogate journey and it can be tough, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
You really need that support from your spouse and if he isn’t 100% behind you, then it could really strain or destroy your relationship if you don’t have a super easy straightforward pregnancy.
Also as above give some super careful thought to how much your job means to you as not every surrogacy ends on good terms with IP’s.
Good luck, its an absolutely amazing experience, but definitely one that needs lots of thought and consideration and lots of conversations to make sure everyone is on the same page. All the best!!
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If your husband isn’t on board then putting this service for your friend who is also your boss, should come second to your relationship with your spouse. Also, the scenario could be considered illegal under US labor rules because the person is your supervisor.
I advise you to let her know that if and/or when she chooses surrogacy, you are available and willing. 
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Is your marriage worth giving up? If he isn’t on board, then you are going against his will. I think your heart is in the right spot…but you have other things to consider.
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No! Yr husband is right. She is yr boss. She is Not yr friend though u two are friendly. There is a massive difference between the two. Keep it separate always. She can find another to be a surrogate if she wants to go that route or adopt a child.
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You see her as a friend before a boss. How does she see you? As an employee? If you no longer were employed by her would you be friends? If she terminated you after you delivered your baby would you regret it? If your husband didn’t consent and it cost you your marriage would it be worth it? How well do you know her? There are agencies for this. If they wouldn’t let you do this legally there’s a really good reason. My late dear friend was a surrogate for 2 families and it’s a beautiful gift but there’s a lot involved in the process.
If your husband isn’t on board you won’t pass the psychological meetings as he has to be there and give his input . I also would never jeopardise my marriage if he has expressed himself and doesn’t want it to happen. I also have a big heart and sometimes we need people like our husbands to keep us grounded…
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Idk that it’s your husbands place to.have an opinion on this. How will it affect him?
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You should not offer if your husband is not 100% on board. That is a huge decision and not one that should be made without him.
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No don’t think you should do it , I think as a work colleague as well makes it very very tricky .
Only you can make this choice and If you feel positive about it being the right choice…
I wouldnt do it for a friend or a boss.
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If she does mention it, make sure to go down the legal route of surrogacy, make sure there is legal documentation for EVERYTHING
Yr body do wot YOU want.
How will if work if you are both on Maternity leave?
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Never without your husbands blessings, won’t survive otherwise
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Cheryl Brewer any advice?
She may not want a surrogate. I wouldn’t want one. So you could be stressing over nothing 
I think it’s remarkable and to be in a position to help someone like that is amazing! Be proud
I wouldn’t be jeopardising my own relationship to help your boss/friend. You have your own children as your priority and if your husband is not on board it will cause problems which will affect your children
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Surrogacy is usually a contract that is legal. Also, you would be entitled to be compensated. I have a friend that has done it 3 times and make at least 50k each time. It may become an uncomfortable work environment when the baby came. That would be my concern. But something tells me your husband would be more agreeable if it’s on paper and there’s money in the bank.
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My niece was a surrogate for 2 different families. Your husband needs to be supportive. You need this to be a legal agreement between you and the other couple.
You and husband need to be on the same page before anything
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To be a surrogate you have to have your husband on board. The husband has to sign the contracts with you and have a psychological evaluation with the wife. Join some surrogate Facebook groups and do some research.
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Marriage is a team. If my husband wasn’t on board ESPECIALLY for something so incredibly drastic and life altering I don’t think I would be able to continue. I also think your husband is right here. You are not friends first you are boss and employee first. If your boss had to fire you would you still be friends?? I’d seriously doubt it. It’s a noble act for sure, but boundaries need to be clear.
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I was a surrogate. Selfless act 101. it’s hard to do the flutters, kicks, hear the heartbeat, fall in love with the life in you and then give it away. You need to make sure your emotionally prepared, and mentally aware of the possibility of PPD afterwards. As for your husband, I understand where he’s coming from, but remind him of the joy you two experience as parents and how you want to help your friend experience it as well.
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Just remember that she could move away with the child and you would never see it. She could fire you and you two never talk to each other again. In your mind because you see her everyday maybe you are thinking that you would still be around the child. If your husband is not with you on this. DONT DO IT! Could you give her one of the children that you already have? Then that’s the answer. Friends come and go. Pray about this before you do anything. What effect will it have on the child when it gets older and finds out that you are its birth mother? What if the child is born with medical problems and has to have constance care? There are a lot of things that could go wrong. She may be stuck taking care of a sick child the rest of her life. She would blame you.
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As someone who went thru 3 rounds of IVF, I think offering it is definitely something you should do. It is the most selfless and incredible thing you can do for someone! But I would make your hubby understand that she is your friend and get him on board .
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As far as your husbands opinions, it shouldn’t matter who it is. You would be doing this selflessly, and it’s your body. Not his. If you two are friends it wouldn’t hurt to ask, as a friend. “Have you ever thought of using a surrogate” and let her lead the conversation. Some people don’t know their other options, or that people are willing to help. Good luck with everything.
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I think it be a wonderful and selfless act. I wonder if your husband misunderstands the process and how it works. Also during the pregnancy aren’t you supposed to not have sex? That might be part of the issue there as well.
Yeah leave this shit of facebook, too personal
You didn’t talk about what her fertility problems are but would the baby come from her eggs, in which case you are a gestational carrier, or would it be your eggs? That’s traditional surrogacy. That makes a lot of difference. Would be able to emotionally handle giving up a baby that came from your eggs? Also every state has different laws related to surrogacy that should look into before doing anything and also talk to a lawyer. Health insurance plans may also have addendums related to surrogacy. Make sure you know all the fine print.
No , better not to know the person.
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Convo ends at hubby not being on board.
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I went through years of IVF and when we were are the point where it was pretty clear that I would not be able to carry a baby, we talked over our options with our dr who we trusted and just loved. She said that she advised for surrogacy to have someone you don’t know and won’t be involved in your life regularly. She said that there are psychological effects that can become damaging to that relationship and be incredibly difficult for the woman who acted as the surrogate. I can understand her perspective on that, and hadn’t considered it. I can understand your husband’s perspective and you really do need to be on the same page.
We ultimately adopted the most perfect baby girl, and she truly is the child that was always meant for us! I think it’s wonderful that you’d like to carry a baby for someone, it would be an amazing gift. Perhaps talk to someone at a fertility clinic and see where to go from there
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My boss was truly (and still is) one of my dearest friends. I would have done it for her in a heart beat! Husband on board would be necessary.
Someone I worked with did it for her boss and got fired by corporate. I wouldn’t suggest it that’s for sure.
Make sure hubby is on board before offering!
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Foster to adopt. State pays for adoption
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As someone who suffers from Infertility and no success I finally comes to terms that it’s not in the cards for me… But what I would give to have the resources and someone to carry my baby for me… Just to have a piece of me… I would really talk with your husband again and see if he will come on board… If so I would offer it to your boss you may never know what that means to her…
Your husband would HAVE to be on board before anything happens
I can see where you husband is coming from, being your boss raises some ethical questions even if you are friends
Is it your husband’s body? No? OK, then you have your answer.
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It is a beautiful gift you would be offering, but offering it to someone who is your boss comes with unique challenges.
While you don’t appear to be feeling any pressure to offer this gift, offering it to your employer puts you both at risk for tremendous conflict of interest issues.
There is inherently a difference of power in your relationship …and to the other employees looking at this situation…it could result in tremendous upheaval in the workplace. Just the appearance of favoritism can sour an office’s employee culture. I’m assuming she performs your performance reviews, establishes your salary and bonus structure, and ultimately determines if you have continued employment. If you serve as her surrogate…how will that relationship influence your employment relationship?
What happens if you aren’t able to carry the pregnancy to term? What happens if you end up having a high risk pregnancy and have to make a decision that she/her husband disagree with? What happens if they request that you terminate the pregnancy? This wouldn’t be a relationship that starts and stops with the surrogacy agreement. You very livelihood is connected to this person. That is not something that should be taken lightly.
Before approaching your boss, I would recommend reaching out to a surrogacy agency - to explore the issues/challenges/benefits associated with being a surrogate.
Again, a beautiful thought…but the potential cost and risk to you professionally would make me caution you to tread very lightly!
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Honestly only you and your husband can make this decision. I wouldn’t bring it up to her, unless as you’ve said she mentions she wants to go down that path. Make sure you research everything, get a lawyer, make sure every single detail is in writing. Just make sure every duck is in a row. But honestly that’s a decision only you and your husband can make. If your husband is really against and you do it anyways, taking advice from others…your the only one who has to live with that decision.
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I would maybe ask your boss if she/ they ever considered adopting a baby or toddler. Before offering to be a surrogate. There is so many babies Toddlers and teens out there that need good homes and good parents. Also that would kind of let you know where her thoughts are . she’s in may even bring up the possibility of looking for a stair gets herself. Then you could offer to be that person. But your husband and your children would have to be totally on board with it
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I’d talk about it more with your husband before you talk with her about it. I’d really think it out with him and give it a little more time.
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What a beautiful thought! You sound like a selfless, thoughtful person. I’d be hesitant if my husband wasn’t on board though. Hesitant enough not to offer bc that could negatively affect your marriage in so many ways.
Also, would you continue to work for her? That could change the entire work dynamic. What happens if it’s not an easy pregnancy & you need a lot of time off? People can get resentful. Other employees could feel like you’re getting preferential treatment because of the situation & of course, that would put more stress on you & the baby. I’ve worked in small offices before & all it takes is one person to get angry & start drama but then it snowballs. It’s can become a toxic environment quite easily but it’s hard to see that happening while everyone is still getting along. Just something to consider.
Do your research - if it is in NY the laws used to be that if your surrogate is from NY after the baby is born, you still have to adopt - I had an out of state surrogate for that reason - that was years back and laws may have changed - but that might rule out your situation -
I was a surrogate for a friend and had twin girls in 2012. If you have any questions you can message me.
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You and your husband become one when you said I do. I’ve asked to be a surrogate for my aunt who has struggled, my husband told me no. That was That was end of it. We are one. Not one when we feel like it and two when we want to do our own things. If your husband said he’s not on board with it, it should have been dropped and never brought to fb for a bunch of strangers to give you terrible advice about doing what you want. If you love your husband and respect him, then no should have been all you needed from the one person who is your whole
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I have been a surrogate and there is no greater feeling then knowing you have done something so selfless for someone else. I too struggle with infertility. I could carry but didn’t produce eggs. I got lucky enough to have one miracle baby, by the grace of God but never got lucky enough to have anymore more children of my own. My infertility brought on so many tears and constantly hoping and wishing for a miracle. I would see so many pregnant women and wonder why it couldn’t be me. My husband was unsure at first but he understood why it was so important for me to help someone who felt just like I did. I would try and get ur husband on board. Definitely get a lawyer and everything legal if you do go through with it. It is a sacrifice but also a true blessing.
The way I see it, even though she’s your friend she is your boss and she’s going to spend all day every day up your ass about what you’re doing and eating and if you’re having sex with your husband… everything you do she’ll be on you about. It will very likely change your friendship
It’s not for everyone but the ones who do it I have much respect for!! Definitely a huge gift. I wouldn’t say anything unless your for sure able to but good for you for even considering!
I would do it for a stranger so I would definitely do it for someone who has become a friend. Hands down.
I had similar issues. Fertility doc got me nowhere. I never had the guts to ask someone to surrogate for me, so she may not ever ask or bring it up. I’d say ask her one day if shes ever considered it, without putting yourself out there.
Also, this may sound harsh but your body is yours. Not your husband’s. You seem to deeply care about this woman. She is your friend before she is your boss so he has no arguement.
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Do it. First, how selfless can you be? You’ve just proven your beautiful heart. Second: Job security LOL. What’s she going to do? Fire you? That will never happen. Tipping my hat to you, your words and hopefully your actions show what a beautiful soul you have. Much luck and love to both of you. PS… Tell your husband to get over it.
Amen said beautifully
As much as I want to be “oh how lovely” etc. I think I’m going to instead have to say BOUNDARIES are everything here. This is a huge ethical issue, imo. There is no way you can maintain professional boundaries when you are carrying her baby, she is responsible for strife in your marriage, you are angry and hormonal etc. I don’t see it being acceptable
What if the baby is not perfect as in Down’s syndrome or cerebral palsy or spinabifita? Then she rejects the baby so now you have three children.
Just something to think about.
The situation is very messy. I would never do it with a boss
Being a surrogate is hard. You need to be able to carry the baby nine months. Then give it away. Takes a strong person to do that. I could never
I was a surrogate for a friend and her husband and it was the best thing I’ve ever done besides having my own daughter. They were blessed with twins a boy and a girl. There was no partner at the time which made it easier and my daughter who was 12 at the time completely understood the process.
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Awe. My daughter was an egg donation for one of my best friends and her husband. You didn’t state her age. That is a factor to consider. There are so many questions. Why has IVF not worked for them is the first question. And I agree, if your husband is not on board it could be disastrous for your marriage. I would sit down and discuss it with your friend in detail about why IVF is not working.
I don’t think you should do it if your husband isn’t on board. But you don’t know if she even wants to go down that road so I wouldn’t stress about it or push it onto your husband. It could just start unecessary drama. If you want to surrogate you should research it and find someone who does want a surrogate mother instead of blindly assuming she may want to do that.
If your husband is not on board then best to leave it alone.
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Has your boss considered adoption? Many children need homes and loving parents
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Make sure you and your husband are ok agreement. It’s not worth messing up your marriage. Also if you do end up doing it, draw up a legal agreement outlining everything.
Unless your husband is 100% behind you , no
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Has she had her uterus massaged? I couldn’t get pregnant, then one day my sister messaged my uterus and and a year maybe 2, I got pregnant.
You and your husband do need to agree on it first. If he does get on board with it than you can absolutely offer it to your boss/friend. You can bring the subject up with her first too even if she hasn’t mentioned looking into surrogacy yet. She would appreciate your offer even if she doesn’t say yes.
In my humble opinion, as long as your heart is in the right place, I feel it’s brave of you to want to do this without being asked. Perhaps, asking your husband to put himself in their place, as a couple not being able to conceive, how would he feel? Maybe some couples counseling would be good 
Bosses are NEVER your friend, I worked for someone for 21 years and he (I thought he was my good friend) but money was more important to him. Don’t mess up your marriage For so called friends!!!
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You better be ready for a divorce if you go through with this…