I’ve worked with my boss for almost six years. It’s a small business. I was the first to be hired there—she’s more of a friend than a boss. We talk about very personal things, and she told me she struggled with her fertility and undertook IVF. 2 years later, she has had no success. She hasn’t said she has given up, but I really think she’s given up hope of carrying a baby. I have two children and married. I’m finished having my family but still miss being pregnant. I would love more than anything to be a surrogate for her. Only two problems. My husband isn’t on board with me doing it for a “boss.” Friends absolutely but never a “boss.” He doesn’t understand, she is my friend, and that will never change. The way I see it is id be doing something to help her and her husband out. I won’t approach it unless she states she’s going down that route. Should I even offer to do it? Has anyone been in a similar situation or been a surrogate? Any advice is welcome.
I am an admin on Fuck Customers through tumblr. This is a BAD IDEA. I see too many cases of people letting their work lives bleed into their personal lives through that blog. FFS Don’t do it. It’s probably just baby fever. I almost did the same twice and I am glad I didn’t. One woman wasn’t as clean(drugs) as I thought she was. She can no longer foster because of it. Second woman is in my hubby’s family. They’re pretty money hungry and care more about their dogs than kids IMHO. You might think you know your boss but this is erasing many barriers of privacy for you both, but mostly you.
Friend or not. She is still your boss. I agree with your husband. And you should most definitely not bring it up to her or offer. It’s one thing if she comes to you and asks, but do not put your two cents in on her very personal matters.
I wouldn’t…but you can still look into being a surrogate for someone else!
I agree with your husband she is/was your boss first if things got messy it would effect your work life so much
You also need to make sure your husband is 100% on board with you doing it because you don’t want to destroy your family helping another (not saying it will but it might) this has to be a family choice as it doesn’t just effect you it involves your whole family
Oh trust me that boss/friend can change. I went to work for my best friend and worked for her 8 1/2 years. She sent nudes to my husband. When he turned her down, she fired me. Took him two weeks after I was fired to tell me why I was fired. He always hated her. But don’t assume because you are friends now, you will be friends forever. They turn on you. The question is can you take carrying a child you may never have access to again?
Too much of a like to blur if you were to do something like that. Things can become very messy. That’s why most surrogates don’t have that type of relationship prior. I agree with your husband like others have said but you could definitely become a surrogate still so long as you meet the requirements.
If your husband doesn’t agree you should respect him. Family first.
First of all ,do you miss the feeling of being pregnant or do you miss being pregnant and just want another baby??? You need to be careful, if you do become her surrogate , you cannot feel attached to that baby even if you are carrying it … it’s complicated, I personally wouldn’t do it for the reason your husband said.
I would do it. But you need to get your husband on board first. Then offer it.
I agree with those that say your husband would need to be in support of…revisit the conversation if its on your heart. And as far as boundaries with her being your boss… not all relationships are a one size fits all… I would definitely say my boss is my friend first before anything and I did not know her before we worked together. Good luck in your decision and possibly the adventure❤️
Eh. I have offered to be a surrogate to my best friend and she knows that if she ever wants to utilize my uterus she can. Your body your choice. But it does seem like it would be a little complicated the boss relationship, hubby not to keen on it, not to mention going through the surrogacy yourself you have no clue how she gonna act or yourself for that matter. So would it really be worth it?
As being someone on the end of not being able to have anymore kids & still wanting to, I think being a surrogate is an amazing thing to do for someone!
I’d have to agree however, that I’d the husband isn’t on board, to tread lightly. Perhaps give him time to think about things & maybe revisit the topic.
It’s absolutely hell wanting a child & not being able to. We’ve been blessed with our one son who’ll be 27 in a few months. I’ll forever want more though.
No. Do not do it. She is your boss and you have already blurred the lines by becoming goof friends. Secondly, you say one of the reasons you want to do it is because you miss being pregnant. What happens then if you miss having a baby in your arms when the baby is born? You’re going to grow attached to someone else’s child. …
If that’s your friend before a boss I’d say offer! That’s the most selfless thing someone can ever offer. Some people don’t understand what it’s like to not have any kids so to know that someone is willing to do that for them… the husband part idk about I would honestly talk to him and if he’s not down 100% I wouldn’t
I have offered to my friend, but by the grace of God, she finally became pregnant 
What are with these comments omg. Do it girl. Follow ur heart. Thats the type of person u are and ur husband should know that and love you for it. You are an amazing soul. Bless ur heart!
It might be very difficult- you would be adding a very personal aspect to a professional relationship. Also because you would have to see her you would be also hearing about the baby… whether you intend to or not carrying a baby for 9 months will be very difficult to not feel some type of attachment.
The power aspect between you two is not equal. She is your boss. She can control whether you have employment, and every single thing you do may be scrutinized.
Ignoring the obvious difficulties such as the power inequality in your relationship with her, and your husband not being on board - there may also be other factors.
Surrogacy is not the optimal situation. Eggs may not attach, miscarriage is still possible… what if there is some issue that arises is your boss going to use that against you, will she look at your differently… to me so much could go wrong with the relationship you have with her, with your relationship with your spouse, with your biological children.
I know someone who surrogated for a couple she knew casually. She was hit by a car at 6 months and the trauma caused her to do into premature labour and the baby didn’t make it. The couple she was surrogating for threatened to sue her for not taking adequate precautions in her commuting situation. Her husband was never comfortable with the idea and for a few years after still had a hard getting over the concept she had some one else’s baby in her. The legal threat didn’t come to fruition but the fear he had about them losing their home caused a lot of tension. Her children never understood it and even now they can’t grasp what would make her do it. There are hundreds of positive experiences with surrogacy; thousands even- but when it goes badly it goes horribly bad.
You need to be cautious. Very cautious. Even the fact you have already thought it and talked to your husband about it without even knowing if she would ever even consider surrogacy seems concerning and if your boss knew you were discussing this it may not be taken well at all. I feel like if I was her, I would distance myself immediately from you as boundaries are clearly not set and may even be blurred and I would accept that I may be at fault and would make drastic steps to fix that right away.
Boss friend can change very very quickly. If she was your friend who was not your boss / employer sure.
You are very caring and good on you for that, if the roles were reversed she would not be offering the same thing and I’m sure her husband wouldn’t agree either
After having another conversation with your husband about the reasons you want to do this and think long and hard about what you want to do
In the end you will need to consider everyone in this scenario but more importantly what you want to do
Sending love 
You will need to do a lot of research! If it’s her eggs or yours. You will need an attorney. Your husband has to be on board! Helping another family is amazing but there’s a huge investment in it. And money. Whose paying the medical bills, hospital bills, and what happens if you have a miscarriage.
I’d definitely ask more as to why your husband is against it. Taking a no and dropping for something like this is not an option and would feel like the proverbial boot on my neck that is ladies have been trying to get out from for decades.
It takes someone with a really big heart, and even bigger will to let go. Can you let go of the baby after carrying it for nine months, and then giving birth? Frankly, I think it’s better to hire a stranger to surrogate, cause things can get real sticky between friends
Maybe he’s worried it will somehow ruin your friendship and get you fired. I’d have a long talk with him and definitely not approach her unless he’s on board. It’s a big decision for sure. But it’s definitely amazing of you to want to. 
If I was in this situation and my husband wasn’t supportive then I’d drop it. I understand that you’re mostly thinking of how great it will be to help her out, but are you thinking about it realistically? Each time you & your husband chose to expand your family you did so knowing that something could go wrong but that it was worth it in the end. If you went through with this and complications arose, how would that affect your relationship? What if those complications were life threatening? Sounds harsh and I apologize for it, but your husband is unwilling to potentially lose his wife and mother of his children just for someone else to have a baby & I can’t say I blame him.
My bf did this for a coworker. She wasn’t the surrogate but she donated her eggs to the woman. They don’t see each other anymore but my friend gets photos and updates on these children (twins) as they grew up. It was a beautiful gesture. But she was single at the time and didn’t have anyone to answer to (gay, actually, not that that matters). But I think the OP’s husbands feeling should count in the decision.
He has a right to say no, especially as a married couple. Just bc you could detach yourself enough to be a surrogate for someone doesn’t mean he can. Even if you’re friends, things can get messy when you involve your personal life and business life. There are a lot of laws and things you would need to consider as well when it comes to these things. My state for example does not recognize surrogacys. This means it would be up the couples involved to come up with all the costs. If you don’t have insurance, then the ones who are getting the baby not carrying it are usually required to cover all medical costs to the one carrying including if they miscarry. Also, you haven’t stated her age or if her or husband have any underlying health issues. I bring this up bc you also have to consider what quality of life financial and life wise can they offer this kid. Are they older and gonna be pretty up there in age before the kid is able to care for themselves or be independent or are they young enough and healthy enough they can be active in the child’s life overall. She may be on board but her husband may not…there is a ton to consider overall
If my boyfriend wasn’t happy with it then I would respect that. You are in a relationship with him, not your boss at the end of the day 
unless he comes round to the idea… you might have to say no.
From someone who struggled to carry a baby full term and ended up losing three precious babies…I had a friend offer to be a surrogate, got my hopes up, had deep talks with my husband about it, was ready to go for it, only to have her back out. If this is something you want to do for her, make sure your husband is on board and search your heart before ever opening your mouth. It is devastating to have someone back out on you. 
If your husband isn’t on board with it, I feel like you need to respect him. He has his reasonings for this and as a married couple you are now one flesh, you are two halves of a whole, you both would need to be on board with this for this to be drama free and not negatively impact your marriage. If you miss being pregnant, what makes you believe you won’t grow attached to this baby? This doesn’t sound like a recipe for success to me. I think it’s amazing you have that big of a heart, but I think your husband may be right.
I’d have a frank discussion with her but tell her you wanted to get her feelings before you got hubby on board. She will most likely also have to talk to her husband if she is interested. After that, talk to your hubby and tell him you feel very called to do this and have a real conversation about it.
i think it would be a lovely thing to do. maybe you need to explore further into why exactly your husband is against it. perhaps the prospect of doing it for other, abstract people is only okay to him because it’s not as real. if that makes sense. it could be that he has an aversion to you being a surrogate at all and i think you should have some long talks with him about his feelings on this if you’re so serious about it.
There is a lot of factors you need to count. Your age, health, trust in this couple…do you really want to hand over a child to someone you do not know 100% -her husband I mean.
And mostly what does your husband want? What would your children think?
This will not only affect you but others too.
The mother may not wish to have the surrogate be in contact with the baby…that will bring up major issues with your job and your relationship with her too.
Lots to think about.
It takes two yeses and only one no.
If he’s not on board it will be damaging your marriage.
Also… it seems simple to help but it will be very complicated and involve lawyers. Or at least it shouldn’t be done without.
Your egg or hers? Important question and of course how you will feel being around the baby everyday. Hubby has to be on board because it involves you, your health, 9 months of pg .
Good luck
By the way my daughter was going to do this for a friend of mine’s daughter until it came to light they would have to use my daughter eggs, then it became family and another grandkids in my eyes
I dont fault you for wanting to help but this is something you and your husband must be on board together. His feelings need to be respected.
Oh my…I would not bring it up to your boss but IDK if it would be such a good idea for you cuz you say you miss being pregnant. Something a tad weird about that.
1st off. You are AMAZING! I was in your boss’s shoes years ago and ended up needing a gestational carrier “using her eggs and her husband’s sperm”. A very kind friend offered and we now have a beautiful 14 year old boy. If her husband hadn’t been on board it would have not been a situation that we would have ever entertained. It brings so much stress, crazy emotions etc. If you are seriously considering this you could maybe find out exactly what is holding your hubby back from being on board. I just dont see it working if everyone isn’t on board. It is such a beautiful gift. I commend you for even considering being a carrier❤
It’s a big decision, one that I would never make without my husband’s approval. Being pregnant and giving birth are huge things. The chance of Risks and complications are always there so definitely a hard choice
I was kind of in a similar boat. A mutual friend and her husband were having problems conceiving and I was thinking of offering to be a surrogate to them and my husband said he wasn’t comfortable with it. He had ‘no reason’ or at least didn’t share it right away. After discussing it with him at length he said that I would forever have a bond with that baby, even though it wouldn’t have biologically been mine, which may take time and energy away from our children and our family. I still, to this day, don’t think that it would have been that way but I respected his view. Our friends stopped stressing about it and were thinking about adopting instead and we’re researching that route when a few months later, those friends conceived their son and he will be 4 this month!
Sometimes the stress of ‘trying’ to conceive has this effect and creates an uninhabitable space for a baby to be conceived and grow. I’m not saying that’s THE reason but stress may be part of it.
I hope your friend and her husband are able to become parents soon.
I personally feel like this is extremely selfless and if you’re feeling called to do this, it doesn’t hurt to ask her.
For women struggling to get pregnant, I was told by my Dr. About the drug Metformin. It is used for blood sugar. I tried for 2 yrs to get pregnant and no success. She put me on metformin and within a month I was pregnant. I shared this with 2 coworkers and they too conceived after using this drug. She should talk to her dr and see and maybe it can help your boss out!
I think you should get your husband on board first. Explain to him that she is a close friend and it’s what you want to do. Then just let her know that you would be willing to do it if her and her husband wanted to go down that road.
My sister just went through a surrogacy and I got the privilege of being her support person. I say, if you can do it and your heart can handle it, go for it! It’s one of the most beautiful things I have been able to experience!
Again I’m not sure how I am in this group but here is my two cents I guess 
I wouldnt do it. The way you feel and think comes from a very good place and that is commendable, that being said you have to consider the after, when you give birth to this baby who isnt yours. Sure you carried it, nurished it and birthed it but for all intents and purposes it isnt your child nomatter how you may feel emotionally towards it and we all know the bond between mother and child is the strongest of any. Additionally it wont help her carry her own baby and have that experience, there are some of us who simply cannot have children and that isnt a problem or burden as there are so many children out there that need someone and adopting a child is expensive but nowhere as expensive as the bills she will have to cover for your surrogate birth. At the end of the day you have to also see that your family comes first, your children and your husband because that is the commitment you made. Like I said, just my two cents
I don’t think the work relationship matters if you’re friends before anything else. Using the word “boss” does give it a weird connotation. But that’s because a lot of people work for larger companies where the term boss is used and it’s impersonal. My family had a small business and technically everyone employed had my dad as a “boss” but I think of the friendships he had with the people working there and it’s not black and white like boss:underling. So as long as YOU are comfortable with it, I wouldn’t worry about that factor.
Your husband will be impacted because being pregnant at all impacts things like how you feel and changes your body. However, you’re still an individual person and even if he doesn’t like it he should be supportive if it’s important to you. I cannot imagine holding my SO back from something even if I don’t love the idea. Marriage is a partnership of two individuals who shouldn’t snuff each other’s flame. I hope you can get him to make peace with it if you decide to do it!
Usually someone shuts you down straight away as they don’t have enough knowledge to make an informed decision. Now you’ve planted the seed, look into the finer detail and approach him again with facts, figures and others personal experiences both good abd bad. See where the ground lay after that maybe?
No advice but it’s a beautiful thing that you’re even thinking about it. Good luck to all of you!
When I was having problems getting pregnant my sister offered… we never had to go that way though… I ended up getting pregnant… it took awhile.
I think it’s awesome you’d do that for her!
What a beautiful thing you want to do for this family, I get why he doesn’t want you to do it for a “boss” anything can happen in your work relationship and then she’ll always feel like she owes you her life or things can go south and you lose the “friendship” I would kind of understand if you said this work relationship and friendship is like 20 years in the making. Your husband has he’s opinion and all the right to, how would you feel if he wanted to be a donor to a friend/boss? Always think of how you would feel, react if the roles were reversed. It’s a difficult decision. Sewing you pregnant and having to give the baby up once he/she is born. It’s easy to say you’d do this but have you done proper research? Are you emotionally strong to do this? If your boss/friend did not mention or consider this route I doubt you should bring it up. What if she didn’t think that far? Do you think she’d want you as the surrogate? How does she see your friendship? How much are you involved in her actual personal life at home or is your “friendship” stronger at the office than on a personal level? Many many things to consider, sounds more like you into being pregnant than desperately wanting to help her have a baby so emotionally would this be the right thing to do for your own well being or will you grow a different attachment when pregnant? Many women do this and stick to the plan and let go once the pregnancy is done, are you capable of doing this? You might only know once you are in the situation already. Some people might be a bit offended if you approach them about it and it’s not something they’ve asked or hinted to you and others would be overwhelmed that you would consider this in a good way. Either way your husband has to be on board from the start. You wouldn’t want to me things awkward or cause issues with your own family by going ahead with this and he isn’t happy or supportive because you will definitely need him emotionally at the end of it all and he will be there for you from the start and would have to deal with you and be there for you while pregnant. I think if your boss approaches you with this request then you should look more into and weigh your options by getting your husband to understand and go with it. If this is not something she wants or maybe doesn’t want you to do it, go would that make you feel?
Join some of the surrogacy groups on fb and talk to people who have already been a surrogate. It’s much harder on you than you would imagine it to be.
I find it being a boss is wired even if you guys are close
But at the same time if you did it for a complete stranger through a company they’d still techno be your boss that’s a paid service
Find out way your husband isn’t on board. And go from thete
You have to put your family first! If your family is not on board then you have your answer!
Suggest she uses a agency and then go that way so everything is legal and legit and then maybe your significant other may be more on board
Could you possibly get a job elsewhere and thus remove the boss issue?
If your husband isn’t on board then no, don’t do it.
Is bring it up to her and ask her
If husband is not on board. The end.
I think you being open to the idea of being a surrogate mother for someone is absolutely wonderful! However the person being a boss regardless of her being a friend would worry me too so I can understand why your husband may be struggling and saying no. If anything were to go wrong, happen or just not work she could always handle it horribly and react at work and blame it on something at work. If you wanted to do it for her then I would suggest that you guys possibly talk to a lawyer about writing up a contract with her to agree and sign with you both that she cannot take any action towards you at work until after the baby is born and thriving unless its strictly work related and investigated by a lawyer to make sure she’s legally binding to her contract and it’s actually over work. That way you both are protected and you can still do a good deed to help another woman/friend out.
I’ve been a surrogate. Feel free to PM me.
One of the main rules of surrogacy is partner support
I’m currently a surrogate due I’m August! I’d be happy to chat! Message me!
YeS with the agreement your not an employed under her leadership 
I think I’d have a long talk with him about women who have issues having kids. It is hard for them to see babies knowing it may never happen for them and that is never easy. If you can talk to him and get him on board I would go for it. But if it will hurt your marriage I wouldn’t consider.
I think he needs more convincing because every woman who wants to become a mom deserves it.
I’m going to go against everyone here. It’s your body your choice. Why is he not for it? Why not be happy you’re wife is willing to do something amazing for their friend?
What if you become attached and don’t want to give it up
I personally would say no because your husband isn’t on board. It’s such a touchy subject. My sis went through IVF for a long time and ended up adopting.
It will be one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do! Your husband should support you though and I hope he gets to that point! Talk about it some more. Tell him how important it is to you. If you do decide to do it, make sure to either get a lawyer involved or go through an agency.
My sister offered to carry a child for me after 13yrs of infertility.
My husband cheated and got someone else pregnant. We divorced.
I met my (now) husband we started trying to children 2yrs into our relationship…took me 2 months to get pregnant 
after i told him i had 13yrs of infertility and probably couldn’t get pregnant.
Its a big decision to carry a child for someone… Your husband has a right to voice his opinion but at the end of the day im the type of person who says " thanks for your input but! My body my choice 
You do what you feel in your heart.
I’m sorry but if your husband isn’t on board with it and you go and do it, it’s going to cause big problems in your marriage
Thats going to cause many personal and work related problems in the future. There are so many emotional and psychological factors in the mix, on both ends
I would be careful. It’s possible that once you are pregnant, she may find a reason to let you go from the business. A lot of companies don’t like having pregnant women as employees.
Don’t do it. Always ends in trouble/fights with the surrogate the one who ends up the victim.
Lovely idea, and what a kind person you are! But be careful: your husband isn’t on board and supporting you through a pregnancy that he is not happy about is a tall order. It could have a serious impact on your marriage and family unit. Also your kids. This is not a small thing like lending her your car for a week or helping her with animal care. This is HUGE. And amazing though it would be in an ideal world, it could also impact your friendship and working relationship with her. Ask yourself why you want to do this for this particular woman. And why you are resisting your husband’s concerns. Is there a deep seated need or longing in you that isn’t being fulfilled? I hope you find some compromise that doesn’t come back to hurt you in the long run. Sorry if I sound unembracing, but I think there is a lot more to this than you might realise, and I wonder if it wouldn’t be an idea to seek advice and support from a therapist before you make such a life changing decision? I wish you all the best and think you are a lovely person for considering it. Just be cautious. There is a lot at stake. 
You have to think and answer these questions honestly.
Are you willing to give up or lose your job? (Because that might happen if you do this.)
Are you willing to see that same baby and not feel like that baby’s mother?
I really don’t understand all these comments if ur husband says no … that means no… the actual fuck ??? Its not his fucking body… yes it’s a mutual decision… but it’s not just up to him…
You need to get ur husband on board first. If anything maybe mention that option not with u being the surrogate but if she would ever go down that road…
As a surrogate its a lot more complicated than most people think. You will need a psych evaluation, as well as lots of tests. If your husband is not on board do real research and explain it to him. If he’s still not comfortable then drop it. Is it worth your marriage?
Why not ask her if she’s thought about surrogacy and if she she says yes then maybe offer. But I think your hubby would have to be on board too.
And if your husband isn’t 100% on board be prepared to sacrifice your job and your marriage. Boundaries. I’m not sure an agency would allow an employee to do this anyway.
Do not even bring it up to her without your partners support!
And please, don’t listen to ANY one telling you to go against the man you chose to be your husband. Regardless of their reasoning…
If your husband says no the answer is no. He can always change his mind though.
If the hubby isn’t on board then it should be a no go.
I don’t watch this show anymore, but on the episode of sister wives when robin had her first kid with Cody…she literally offered to carry a baby for meri while she was still in the hospital. It was so much creep factor I cannot even explain it.
Being her employee, and what you’re calling a friend, you offering may amplify the fact to her that you are fertile and capable and she isn’t.
I don’t think it’s at all appropriate for you to offer this service before she’s even mentioned any interest in it. And when she does, if she does, I still would be VERY careful about you offering it. That alone could cause problems.
Be prepared to lose your job
Do it. That awesome.
So wholesome. Best of luck 
Never been in that situation can’t now but with out hubby on board it could be a very difficult 9 months and can u think about giving up a baby u have carried that long mother love can be a surprising thing
I am a current surrogate, 32 weeks pregnant with a surro babe.
My 100% recommendation is to ensure you work with an agency.
That gives you and your boss a level of protection in the event that anything goes astray.
Keep in mind, surrogacy can drastically change relationships and dynamics, being a surrogate for your boss may prove to be incredibly difficult.
Spend some time, think through what ifs!
What If: (there are lots to think through, these are just 2)
You and your boss have a falling out over something surrogacy related, how will that affect your working relationship?!
Are you willing to walk away from your job if this doesn’t work, etc?
Your husband’s support in a surrogacy journey is absolutely imperative! It’s actually a key component to a surrogacy journey, as well as the psychological screening that you go through! Quite likely your husband is thinking deeply into the what ifs!
Being a surrogate isn’t like being pregnant for yourself. It comes with a whole new level of fears and emotions, not to mention the medications and procedures. Read, read and read some more. GET A CONTRACT!! GET AN ATTORNEY who specializes in surrogacy. Even in the closest relationship things can happen and everyone needs to have their interests covered. I’ve carried as a Gestational Carrier for several couples. When my journey began I thought I’d done my homework and knew exactly what I was getting myself and family into. We wanted to give a couple what we had…a family. Each of us made sacrifices to give such a gift. Carrying for another is nothing like carrying for yourself. I wish you the best of luck in your compassionate dream to help your boss achieve her dream of becoming a parent.
Word of advice never compromise to help them reach this dream.
I just had my surrogate baby last November for someone I originally didn’t know and met with an agency. We are now great friends and I consider them our family. I would definitely have your husband onboard. It is a very exciting yet emotional and stressful time. There’s a lot of appointments, injections, passing a psych evaluation and they will check on how your husband feels about it. Then there’s all the legal parts. I wish you luck. So sweet of you wanting to do that
That is amazing ! IDK if I could do it but I did
Know someone who did. Good luck to you!
No, especially if your husband isn’t on board. What a kind and giving person you are, but I think your husband not so much. Another thought though - if roles were reversed and your husband wanted to do something for someone that would effect you and him, for 9 months of your lives how would you truly feel?
I wouldn’t offer it unless your planning on doing it comp free. But I’d totally do it if she brings it up!
Everyone addressing the hubby problem and ignoring the question. Your hubby is right. Friend or not she is still your boss. That puts her in a position of power over you. To get into a complex arrangement such as surrogacy with someone who has power over your career is a bad move. What if you eat something she doesn’t think is healthy for her baby? What if you miscarry? What if you lose all respect of your co workers because they think every promotion, raise, praise, and good assignment you get is not earned but given to you because you gave your boss a baby? What if she is afraid you’ll try to parent her child if you continue to know her after the birth? She is your boss and has power over you. Friend or not that creates an imbalance that is too messy for surrogacy.
It’s a lovely thing for you to offer but I actually think you need your hubby and kids to be on board. It will affect all of them. I’d also strongly be considering how you will feel seeing her with the baby constantly. Are you strong enough to disconnect there? Definitely talk to lots of other women who’ve done it. Balance out the good and bad. Good luck.
It makes you a very special lady to even consider doing this for a friend. I think you need to wait and see if they decide to go down that road - then discuss it with your husband again. If he’s not “onboard” it will be a very difficult year for you to do it without his blessing.