I don’t like my husband- but I don’t trust him with my kids if we separate or get divorced they would be well looked after on his time. He drinks to the point that he pees himself - at least once a month. And will be lighting huge fires in the backyard while drinking. Doesn’t hear the kids wake up. Doesn’t watch them if they are near fires in the yard. He isn’t nice to my mom at all- she lives hours away, so when she visits, she stays for a while- she cleans, buys us groceries, watches the kids, and is amazing. He feels uncomfortable when she’s here bc he doesn’t like her, so he is just rude and not nice. It drives me insane. He isn’t a good dad most of the time. He will cook dinner but is obnoxious about it- like look; I did all of this work…reward me. I am really close with my mom and family, so this is hard for me. He’s changed since we got married - his friends don’t even invite him out anymore. I went to marriage counseling, and he only showed up to 1 session and said he’s never going back. The councilor thinks he’s depressed. I met with a lawyer, and I probably wouldn’t win full custody bc I can’t prove all of his drinkings. Has anyone else been in this predicament? What do I do? I know I’m not in a happy, loving relationship but at least I’m here protecting my kids from his awful qualities
Start keeping a journal of his behavior. Include dates and times. That log will serve as a record and proof
Start documenting it. Dont tell him you are leaving until you get thorough video evidence of this. Protect your babeis
You can have it so he has supervised visits or that he cant drink when the kids are in his care.
Start secretly recording him when he’s drunk! (For evidence) I wouldn’t want someone like that alone with my children either
Wtf dont ever let him have them alone
Does someone else buy his alcohol? Start grabbing his receipts.
Take video. Record sound.
All I can suggest is to keep seeking all legal services to get the help and safety you need for you kids because the safety of your kids needs to come first, I hope and wish you the best hun must be very hard and frustrating for you
wait til he’s shitface drunk and call an ambulance for a welfare check. After 10 times of doing this, you have the proof in the charges and medical records.
I haven’t been in this situation but I would say record your recollection of his drunk behavior all of this should be tracked and if you can wait it out just a little while do so. So you can protect your children.
Start recording his drunk episodes, save text conversations and so on. Protect the kids if you leave him.
Start writing things down in a notebook. Document day and time with details of the incident at the time. Get friends or family members as witnesses on your behalf. Also if your children are old enough to say what things are going on
Record EVERYTHING. It will help you.
It’s almost impossible to get full custody unless there’s any kind of abuse is the only way unless he chooses not to have visitation 
Move out for a while get you and your kids a place and wait until he takes you to court…
Maybe he’s depressed and drinking because he’s unhappy in the marriage too.
Start recording him before you do leave his obviously jealous of your mum she provides better and he is threatened by that you don’t need to put up with that
He probably won’t sue for custody anyways
Id say leave and go back to ur parents, i dont Think He would fight u for custody if hes like that
Start documenting everything with your phone and write it down. Also the fact that he refused counseling is against him. Request supervised visitation due to his inability to care for the children
Stay and get evidence then run and take him to court.
See a lawyer and get their opinion of what you should do to be able to prove he has a drinking problem and is not a fit father.
Take pictures… videos…gather.receipts…quit acting like a victim…
Start taking videos.
Video him when he is drinking🤷♀️ that would be proof
I would definitely ask for him to be drug tested and keep track of any receipts you can find with his alcohol purchases. That can go a long way. If you can catch him on video without endangering yourself do that too
Document, document. Do not leave your precious babies with him!!
Record, record, record. Document EVERYTHING
I think you can request an alcohol problems assessment.
But try to take pics. Document. And then make your move. The more documentation the better. Keep a calendar with notes.
Ask the judge to have his visits in a public place, if he’s an addict then tell your lawyer and judge. I like these posts lots of good ideas here.
So before you leave, document the he’ll out of his endangering behaviors so you’ll have proof. Video and/record as much as possible on top of noting dates and times even when recordings are not possible.
Start getting evidence
Maybe he knows it and wouldnt ask for time
Document everything and see attorney asking for supervised visitation only
Can’t prove his drinking? Next time he’s stumbling around lighting shit on fire… record his ass.
Sounds like a fucking loser. Maybe he’s depressed. Who knows. Doubt it, sounds more like he’s Comfortable now and his true colors are coming out.
Life is too short. That’s all I’m going to say.
video tale him everytime he drinks… keep a notebook of dates and times… log it all.
Talk to a lawyer and see how you should build your case. Document, record pictures/ videos. Find out the best way to get it all. Good luck
It’s different in every state. And I have a dv restraining order in place finally. But I told the judge he was an alcoholic and I didn’t want my son to have visitation so no visitation was granted. Also he skipped court, ha. But yah my now husband adopted my son and has been raising him since he was 3, now he’s almost 7. Bio lost all rights. He was a nasty mean alcoholic.
You can video tape him but in some provinces/states it won’t be “used in court” if the person being Recorded didn’t give you permission…Read up on the laws regarding video taping someone where ever you live.
Keep notes, calendars of behaviours etc.
Start gathering every little piece of evidence you can. Doesn’t matter how small. Collect all receipts/bank statements regarding alcohol
Stay a few days or weeks record and get as much proof as you need
I doubt he’ll fight you for seeing the kids
Videos, start gathering photos and videos make an album, bank statements of the alcohol, write down neighbors if they see him drunk doing a fire
He probably doesn’t like your mom being there because abusers/addicts don’t like others to see their bad behaviors.
I’m in California. When I went to court I had so much stuff documented. I had pictures, receipts, and books of documentation. They would not look at anything!!! Then they blamed me for keeping the kids in a situation I thought was unsafe. At first my ex got 50/50 custody on paper . His main reason to have the kids was not to pay child support. It took about 6 years but I eventually got 100% legal and physical custody.
But if he is putting the kids in danger now the court could hold that against you so get out!
Finally divorced my alcoholic hubby. Wasted a good 17 years on him
Maybe police reports plus pic’s and video’s
You need to get you some witnesses so when you go to court and you need to take your children with you don’t ever leave your children with a drunk or abusive person the court would be on your side in this I just pray for you and I wish you the best God’s right there if you want to talk to
Leave go to your mom’s house take a protective order and file for custody once you established residency in a new county
Record him on your phone and store the videos in a secret folder they have invisible ones in case he wants to look through your phone. Get all the evidence for a while first then revisit the lawyer make sure all your ducks are in a row
I’ve been your situation!! Friends and family didn’t understand why I stayed…what you are saying is exactly why I did. I wanted to protect my children from him! I thought that if I was there I could monitor and protect. I was scared of him and thought I wouldn’t get full custody and my babies would be in danger. I actually started journaling and he kept getting in trouble with the law. So eventually he made himself look really bad. Children services ended up getting involved (because he called them on my niece who was living with us at the time), it totally backfired on him! Now he’s currently in prison. I filed for divorce and got full custody of my kids. There’s always light at the end of the tunnel. I did a lot of praying, journaling, and reached out to anyone that would listen…courts, women’s advocates, therapists, children’s services, my friends and family. Hang in there, play stupid with him and document!
Your husband is being prayed for. From the spirit off Alchol, he is delivered in Jesus name Amene
Take pictures print them out and hide them n save them till you take him to court
Call the cops when he is in a drunken stupper.especially If there is an argument or any type of violence. He will get arrested n you will have proof of his alcohol issues especially if the kids are there to witness his behavior
You CAN prove it. Start recording things. Shouldn’t take long to build up a case with a man like that. 
Sorry that you’re going through this; hope you get out soon 
This is definitely something that people don’t understand that haven’t been through it and a lot of the reason women stay in abusive relationships SO long.
leave him now I didnt have any kind of documentation if for some reason he does happen to get any kind of visitation or time with the kids alert the neighbors, my x was horrible, he was very abusive and i put up with it for 10 years one night we finally got away and left everything I didnt even have my purse just my kids. The court gave him visitation I talked with the neighbors who helped me watch over them. If he had them they called the police for everything he had the music loud they called he was outside with them inside they called he was mowing at 3 am they police would call and i would have to go get the kids after the 3rd time he had them the cops called me to tell they had documented him drunk with the kids to many times. They even sat in front of the house and watched him put the kids in the car with him drunk and pulled him over for it. The court issued a order of protection for the kids against him in the divorce degree it stood till they were 18
Set up cameras in places where his drunk behavior usually occurs. Record his drunk ass. Document everything. When he drinks, what he does etc. Call the police when he starts fires or does anything dangerous. The paper trail will help you. Get a lawyer & insist on sole custody with supervised visits if he even wants to be in their lives. Chances are he won’t. The only thing important to a drunk is his drink.
Start documenting everything, take pictures, don’t let him catch you taking pictures and documenting. Go file for divorce and get the hell of the house before he’s served papers. take the kids with you.
This is something you need to be talking about with an attorney, not on social media.
Just leave with the kids! He obviously doesn’t want them anyway. I doubt he’d fight you for them.
Start calling the police when he gets like that, it will either be a wake up call to him and may help him into recovery, or will help you have reports to back up your claims when you file for divorce. Either way, it’s difficult, but beneficial. Remember: always have a back up plan, a place you can take the kids in the middle of the night if you need to, if things get out of hand. A good close friend or relative that you can trust. You and your children’s safety is most important. Prayers for you 
Start documenting when he’s drinking in excess take photos of proof text messages are admissable as well if he’s verbally abusive start gathering evidence showing that towards you kids or your mother. Start splitting up any joint accounts so if he gets a whiff of divorce he can’t try to drain it. If the kids have missed out on school or activities while in his care get documention of that as well. You can request he goes to some kind of parenting class and push for supervised visits
If you’re able to record him without him noticing then do it and send it to your moms phone then delete it off your phone so he doesn’t find it. It will only get worse so if he puts his hands on you or starts yells and threatening you call 911 without him knowing so the dispatcher can hear it and it will be recorded obviously, then the police will show up and most likely give him a warning sorry to say but if they ask if your comfortable with him staying there tell them no. And in the end you’ll have your proof either way
Stay, gather evidence to prove your case. Revisit with lawyer.
Really he gets real drunk once a month. Sounds like you are trying to make excuses so hes not part of his kids lives. He will get access through the courts. Its not against the law to drink. All you have to do is in the paperwork put in it hes not allowed to drink when he has the children
A drinker or drunkard is a very danger to themself and others, Call and get documantation. He may wake up in a detox and not even remember. Any mandated reporter will have no choice but to turn him in. Keep rcords. Three things stop a drunk, a lover, the law, or his liver. Blackout are guilt free, you can tell them what they did but they feel no remorse. They only get worse.
Leave,Tell the judge,and get pictures while he’s doing it do your homework first…
Stay a little longer and video him when he’s piss drunk and keep a journal of his antics of not making good decisions with the kids. Video anything you can that will show he isn’t a trustworthy parent. Keep texts and try to get it on your phone when he is mean to you or your kids
Why are you with a man like that in the first place take your kids
With you
Get videos of him when he’s not looking.
Better yet, set up a camera in the house where he won’t see it.
Document/ video all and ask court that visitations be supervised
I kinda surprised that this is even a question. From what you’ve said, you and your children may even be in danger. In that case, I would take the children and leave. Start there. I do not recommend that you stick around trying to record him to get evidence. That’s ridiculous! You’ll only anger him if he finds out. Just get out. Tell your attorney that you would like his visitation supervised and explain why in detail to the judge. Certainly, someone can be a witness to your claims (your mom, the neighbors).
Document everything! Pictures, videos, write things down. Then if he tries to get custody, use it as proof. When I finally left, mine didn’t even bother. I went home to my family, and in return for me taking the kids so far, he got everything else. I just walked away, me the kids and a car full of our stuff. It’s been 9 years, and he hasn’t seen them since. Best decision ever.
I think women and mothers often worry about this part but from an outsiders perspective I’m asking myself does he really seem reliable enough right now due to his drinking to even want them all the time? I think you’d be ok, the limited times he’ll have them/ rise to the occasion the kids will be older and older, have a safety talk before they go, get the oldest a cheap gimzo with emergency services and your phone number so they can call at any time
Start recording videos
Take photos. And videos, if it is admissible in court in your state. If you ever text anything with him that could be used keep it and print it off. Get witnesses that would be willing to testify.
I am so much depressed due to situations that i want to kill myself… but i always stop thinking about the same thing… if i will die my kids might not be cared at all… i am only living because of my children…
Document everything!!!
I ran after only 4 months with someone I was 4 weeks pregnant and I didn’t have proof of how awful he was to my daughter and me and it’s been hell in court.
Get proof…
Date and record…
Get photos…
Anything that shows what his behaviour is like…
Set up nanny cam…invite your mom…let him be himself… don’t set up a scene just let him be natural…
Talk to a lawyer about your concerns. Does your husband have any DUI’s? Do you have proof of this behavior? Video tape proof! Any arrests, everything. Then take it to your lawyer. The very least he would get is supervised visits.
DO NOT ALLOW HIM TO DRIVE OR BE ALONE WITH YOUR CHILDREN IN THIS STATE. YOU COULD GET CHILD NEGLECT CHARGES AGAINST YOU.
Just know, that his drinking is a disease. He needs professional help to overcome it. He really needs to go through treatment. Even if he does go through treatment. Relapse happens. He is the father to your children. Your children will be affected by a divorce and if their father goes through treatment.
I kind of been through a similar situation back in the day my best advice for you is to just leave take your kids and go if he wants a foul for cussy he would have to find me 1st no judge will take their child away from their mother if the mother is fully capable of taking care of the kids if the kids choose stay with him Then while you’re still at home I would document every time he drinks get a nanny Cam and put it around the house little They’re not really that expensive You to record every incident until you get enough record that hes not a good father I wish you all the best of luck
It depends on how old your kids are about you getting custody because if they are old enough to tell the judge what your husband does that would help. I would leave him and not talk to him, if he’s doing all that drinking he’s not going to want to see the kids
Take everything you stated here and document it for the courts. Start to keep a journal with dates and incidences. Make sure you keep it hidden. Do not attempt any severing of the relationship without legal representation; however, get out asap.
Firstly start recording his drunken antics,
Based on his current actions, do you really think he will even try ro take the kids ? Honestly by the sounds of things hed rather just get drunk then spend time with him…
Why can’t you prove all of his drinking? Time stamped photos, videos etc… I was able to get my ex fiancee’s parents home off limits with pics and videos of their filthy house. My ex still takes the kid there anyway but he is legally not supposed to… I would ask the lawyer more questions…
Sounds like the protection they need is from being around him everyday!! Does he even want them?
keep a journal of his episodes, and consider getting Nanny cameras poor a video security system to record his antics.
start calling cops when he’s crazy- then you’ll have proof
He will not change…it only gets worse
Start recording said drunk episode