I am in a pickle…i want to leave my husband as we have drifted apart and I am tired of asking him to love me when i know i deserve more than that…but the issue is…i dont want to lose my mother in law…i love her so muh and she is like a mom to me but i feel like if i leave my husband, it will break her and she is the only reaosn that I have not left yet…what can I do
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I want to leave my husband but don't want to lose my MIL: Help!
Talk to her about how u feel ! Tell her your feelings about her n let her know what’s going on
Not much you can do… Just be honest with her. Hopefully you guys can still keep a friendship but it may not happen. You gotta be happy. You shouldn’t have to beg to be loved.
Either you love yourself most first or you sacrifice the only life you have to make everyone else happy but yourself.
I am going through something like this as well. Just have to do what makes u happy. Leave him find someone who treats u and shows u love the way u want. If ur mother in law loves u and values u, u won’t b loosing her.
Talk to her about it
leaving my husband meant i lost my mother in law who i loved a lot.
unfortunately it’s all hand in hand, they have to side with there son .
u may be able to try keep it amicable and open.
but divorce is sad and can get really nasty.
things will be said and done and she will have to side with her own child.
Don’t let her hear it from him. Reach out to her and tell her you how much you value her. Unfortunately in alot of these situations your relationship does change and drift apart, especially if and when he moves on. It’s not a reason to stay with him though.
Talk to her. Explain, not in detail, what’s going on and how you can’t stand the thought of losing her.
Put your self first , just talk to her and be honest, you can still having a relationship with her
Hopefully you have kids together so you can still maintain a good relationship with her despite a divorce
If there’s no love in the marriage, perhaps he’s wanting a divorce too but doesn’t want to disappoint his mother/family. You need to sit down and have an honest conversation with him.
When my son left my daughter in law I still counted her as my family.
She’ll get over it n you can stay friends
I’d leave If I felt like that. It took me along time to leave my relationship that was toxic an I’ve suffered since then but I should have left earlier. It’s possible you can still have a good bond with your mother in law even after you split
If she’s really that great, you wont lose her
Leave ur husband & marry ur MIL then
Leave your husband & explain to her that you want your relationship to continue. Then just let it fall as falls.
Leave, should of married your MIL… JUST KIDDING, no reason to stay…
Have you sat down with her and talked ??? Talk to her. Maybe she has some advice. Also… counseling… try that too
P.S. I kept my MIL in the divorce
Talk to her about what you’re feeling she might just surprise you and want to stay friends with you
I mean is she really worth your happiness??
Just because yall would be split up doesn’t mean u have to lose her. If she loves u, she’ll still talk to u. Me and my kids father split up one time very briefly and my MIL still talked to me. We used to go to yard sales together
I was in the same position, she is still the best MIL I’ve ever had, and we still have a great relationship to this day!!! Ultimately, she was not a reason to stay…
Marry his mama girl!
I kept my mil she’s one of my favorite people
I left my now ex husband 3 years ago and still have a great relationship with a number of his family.
Like everyone has said. If she’s that great you won’t lose her. She may drift a little far though. But if her feelings for you are genuine, she won’t go far.
This is a real question, asked by a real person. I love it.
That is a bad reason to stay. If she really liked you as a person. You won’t lose her
Can’t speak for the partner… but I had a child on the end of a relationship that doesn’t wasn’t good for either of us… not getting into that here as he has always been a fantastic dad… but when we separated it was volatile between us, and eventually we didn’t speak at all. But his Mum is a fantastic lady, we were close then, and we are close now. She is good to our child, and treats all my other children just like her own. I am now married, and she treats him like family too. Some bonds cannot be broken, and if yous are close,she will support you. If she loves you both, she’s want you both to be happier. Whatever that takes.
I was in a similar situation with my soon (hopefully) to be ex husband. I love his family just like they are my blood. They love my oldest daughter and my daughter with my husband. The best thing to to is talk to her and explain your feelings. She may ask for examples so be prepared to answer that. My mil and fil and the rest of his fam are still close. We visit pretty regularly without my husband. I know it’s hard hon but if you need this for yourself and your kids don’t hesitate.
Talk to her. Let her know how you feel. Honesty is the best policy. Good luck
My mil stayed my bff and my new husband also likes her. She’s the best!
Try counceling, The Love Dare, 5 love languages, Fireproof movie. Be honest talk to your husband, talk to your MIL
I hope this doesn’t come across as harsh because I’m certainly not trying to be at all, I’m just speaking from my experience. That woman will ALWAYS choose her kid. Mabe not at first but in the long run she will choose her son. My first husband from which I had two children with. His parents and entire family always treated me like I was one of their own. Even after him and I divorced and I remarried and had two more children. They treated those children like their own. Never once thought of them of anything other than my family. Well after my youngest children’s father and I divorced my first husbands family turned completely against me and made my life a living hell for 2 years. This family that accepted me and took me in as their own just completely disregarded me and acted like I was nothing as soon as they could benefit from it. I remember wanted to stay with my first husband just because I loved his family so much but 14 years later I realized the saying “blood is thicker than water” isn’t always true. Best of luck to you, dear!
My ex sabotaged my relationship with his mother. Now our relationship is nonexistent. This is her son, there’s a good chance she will side with him
I lost my inlaws, they chose it. Its just how things are
It’s your life and your happiness!
My mother in law and I decided I get her in the divorce if it ever happens. I adore her! She is the most amazing woman I have ever met! So I know the feels Also, I’m not ready to leave at all cause my hubby is amazeballs as well lol
Honestly I would talk to her lol
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My MIL & I would still be the best of friends…she’d trade him for me Good luck!
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Talk to her. Tell her what you are feeling and going through. If she loves you she will accept a relationship with you that is healthy and respects her son.
Idk the answer to this. I absolutely did NOT have this problem.
Buck the fuck up or walk away
Just sit down and talk with her and explain your situation
If she doesn’t wish to understand what you’re going through, then she is not the caring nor loving person that you like so much. It’s your choice!
I just want to say I know you’re sad but this is so sweet It’s amazing to have a great MIL. Maybe talk to her about your feelings first, so she’s understanding. Make sure she understands how much she means to you and you don’t want her out of your life. If you guys are this close, talk to her, tell her how you feel. She may go spank him and he starts acting right I’m kidding, but she might be able to get through to him.
Talk to her first then confront him
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I would talk to her and let her know that you are thinking of ending your marriage. Keep in mind that he is her son and should you decide to leave, she should not be put in the middle or have to be made to feel like she is choosing sides. Good luck
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I sat down and talk too my mil and didn’t know that the mess her son did too me. She asked me to stay with her son but I asked her what would God think adultery in a marriage. She cried. But she understood where I came from. Honesty is the best thing right now.
My daughter was the same way. Loved her MIL as the MIL had only boys, she considered my daughter as hers. BUT…my daughter divorced her son after 110 years of marriage and three children. When she remarried, the former in laws were there to wish her well. She’s been married to the new guy now for ten years and she’s still close to the ex-mother in law. Just be honest and tell her that you don’t want to lose her because you love her and consider her your mom!