My son is getting married in 6 months. With Covid19 upon us, the wedding is being cut back to drastic extremes. I have been advised that from his side of the family, only his dad and I will be invited to their destination wedding. (I have two children) Her parents, three siblings, siblings, partners, and siblings’ children will also be there. His father and I have been apart for over ten years. I have been with my man for eight years, living with him for six years. The bride’s three siblings will have their significant others at the wedding and have been together for less than three years. There are no issues between his dad and I nor with his dad and my new man. I want to see my son get married to my man by my side. What’s a mother to do?
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I don’t see why you wouldn’t be able to bring your boyfriend when her side of the family are allowed to have their significant others. I would let your son know your position and bring your boyfriend.
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You say there are no issues between your ex and you as well as your ex and your bf. But what about your bf and your son? It seems like that issue is less cut and dry right?
If your bf is intentionally being left out, I feel like your child may have their reasons for doing that, even if it is covid related. You can’t force someone to invite someone they don’t want there. This is gonna be something you guys need to sit down and discuss.
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Sounds like bride isnt allowing your sons family. I would ask why .
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Have you talked to him about it? Let him know it’s important to you?
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Ask them kindly if it would be Ok to bring you boyfriend.but if they say no drop it and do as they wish.times are stressful enough.dont give Them any added stress. Its their day.
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Respect your sons decision, it’s his wedding after all not yours, your son and his soon to be wife get to choose the guests they want at their wedding.
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It sounds like there is some info left out of this post. Has your BF and your other child have past issues with your son or his fiance. This may not just be her choice although it is easier to blame her without knowing anything. Either way you need to ask your son or realize there is more going on than you care to admit.
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Your son obviously doesn’t like you’re partner and unfortunately you should respect his decision. I mean what are u going to do? Miss ur sons wedding because ur partner can’t go?.
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If you and your boyfriend are paying your own way, what’s the problem?
I mean if the bride and groom are paying for the wedding they can invite whoever. 
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If your invite said "&guest " then by all means bring him along and don’t question it. Don’t make a mountain out a molehill.
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It’s not your wedding, therefore not anyone’s business why anyone was or wasn’t invited. Maybe they expected him to be your plus 1? I would maybe bring it up but not make it a huge deal
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pay their way no questions asked
It’s not your wedding. You don’t get choose who’s invited. All you can do is either accept the invite & go without your boyfriend. Or decline. Your son is a grown man. You don’t get to make choices for him.
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I’d just talk to him about it. I’d also advocate for your other child, his sibling to be there. He should have his immediate family too. But also its his wedding so remember he and his bride gets the final say.
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Easily answered. It’s not your wedding. “I wants” don’t count.
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If you feel strongly about bringing your SO to the destination wedding then perhaps bring him to the destination but not the actually wedding ceremony itself. Then you two do yourselves AFTER your sons wedding. But honestly, there’s probably more of a reason why your son doesn’t want your SO there. I’d get to the root of the problem
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Not your day… it’s theirs… their rules
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Whose wedding is it anyway?
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Can’t you just ask them why your partner isn’t invited when other partners are? Must be a reason x
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I get married in January and am only aloud then people in the room that includes me my partner and my kids that’s 5 people plus a photographer and my mum grandma and his mum and dad that’s it xx
Go without your partner. It’s your sons wedding and his choice. No question.
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Seems odd to me that she’s inviting all her family and he gets his parents maybe she should cut back a few so he can have some more of his. I’d talk to him about it.
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Rather than asking about your partner you should be speaking to your son as to why his siblings are not invited…
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He’s a guy and I’m sure he doesn’t understand how you feel. With covid in the way there could be other difficulties too. Maybe ask if the cost makes a difference or if you could help out because you feel it is important his sibling and your boyfriend of eight years be there since they love him just as much as well. In the end you cannot force him to do anything but just talk with him, he is your son and he should understand
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Take him with you! He may not be able to attend the wedding day itself (its not about you, its about your son & future daughter in law. Respect there wishes) but if your going for a few days you two can still enjoy the sites together on those other days and hangout with your families together after the wedding. The day of the wedding book him a massage at the resort!
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All I will say is this - do not let your man not going affect you going. My dad’s wife and I did actually have issues so when I got married I said I would prefer her not to attend my Tahoe wedding. Because she didn’t attend my dad chose not to come. It’s been 12 years and while her and I made amends I have never really gotten over the fact that he did not come to my wedding.
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The day isn’t about you! Go be there for your son. My husband was upset at his family for not being part of our lives enough. Be there! My husband died at 25 and his family finally had an eye opener.
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Not your wedding. Just go alone. If you can’t be there for your son without your boyfriend, well, you’re not a very good mom.
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A mother sucks it up, goes and moves on.
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Its about your son, not you
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If her family is paying for it, it makes sense for them to kind of insist they have as many people as they want. As upsetting as it is, it’s not your wedding.
If you can talk to him about it with just you two and just say how you feel plainly like you did here, I feel that would be the best way to go about it. But as much as it sucks, it again, is not your wedding. If it is a cost issue, would it be possible for you to get the ticket for your man?
Ultimately you need to respect their choices. If you dont, you dont go. Just because you are his mother does not mean you own him
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Did they specifically say he couldn’t come? What was the reason? If neither then why do you think he can’t come?
Ultimately it is their wedding but I would just politely ask why you can’t bring your SO if her side is bringing theirs.
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You had your day. Don’t make this about you.
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Bring your BF pay for your own hotel room you can do stuff with him before and after wedding be there for your son
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Wtf you mean what to do? It’s your son getting married lady, go and be where you supposed to 
with your son, with boyfriend or not you have to be there. Looks like you are more concern about taking your bf than attending your son’s wedding.
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Talk to him about it and if he says no then it’s a no. The day isn’t about you, it’s about your son. Don’t be selfish. Your son will be married with or with out you. Don’t be the mom who chose a boyfriend over their child
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Put your son first. Bring boyfriend to the destination and have a mini vacation but go to your sons wedding without him because that’s what /they/ want. You may be reading to far into things and even if you’re not … it’s not about you
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Why does she get all of her family there and your son only gets his parents??? Seems like there must be more to it!
I say respect your sons wishes
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I would not go if you cannot bring your man and everybody else can stand by your Man You’re so will always be your son and it’s his wedding too they should accept your love as you do their love
Put your child first, always.
It’s their wedding, they are just trying to follow “rules” if it bothers you so much sit down and discuss with your son why you feel this way, and try to come to a compromise but realize it is his wedding and he may or may not “change his mind”
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Address the issue, like an adult. Tell your son and future daughter in law that you would like to talk. Flat out ask why the brides parents, siblings and all the significant others are invited, but the same on your side isn’t invited. Then respect their decision, whatever it may be. It’s their wedding, not yours. After all, they could just run off and elope and not have any of the family there.
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Ask your son why all of her family can go and your man cant. If he still doesnt let your man go then either go with out him or Dont go at all. Personally I wouldn’t go… 
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Ask.
If he says he cannot be there, then respect that! It doesn’t matter how long you are with another man, that man will never be your son’s father. He has a father already.
Your son may not have thought to specify inviting your boyfriend, he may just have assumed you would bring him if you went.
Ask. Communicate. Also, why isn’t his sibling? Does he not get along with his family?
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Being him along, just not to the wedding…
Respect your sons wishes
Suck it up and go to your sons wedding. Honestly it’s his day.
Well its their wedding hun,you schould be there and respect their decisions but it wouldn’t hurt to ask for your honey to come see if they will let him
You are old enough to handle a wedding without your s/o
So, you’re more worried about your “new man” not being invited than your other child? Odd…
Also, this is about your son, not you. It doesn’t matter what you want at his wedding.
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I am going the other way here folks. yes its his day but to show so little respect for the grooms family is a sign of nothing good to come. the bitchy new daughter in law will eventually cut your son completely out of your life. and your son should be setting some boundaries now with his selfish little bride. dont miss your kids wedding but you have every right to feel slighted. his next wife will be better. trust me. there will be a next wife. divorce attorney for 25 years. this is a high predictor of marital failure.
You go to the dang wedding, support and love your son and be happy for him. THAT is what you do. Sure, it may seem odd or weird but there must be a reason why the son only chose to invite his Father and the mother. Sadly, this person seems more concerned with her new “man” than her own children and that may be the reason why she was asked to come alone.
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You are not married to this man. You said you have lived together for 6 years. Maybe your son does not want him there. This man isn’t anything to him other than your boyfriend.
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This day isn’t about you or your boyfriend. It is about your son. If he says he doesn’t want your boyfriend there. Then your boyfriend doesn’t go. If you choose to not attend because your boyfriend is not invited well then it shows the type of love you have for your child.
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If this was me my son comes first. I would not miss it for the world. Having a man in your life has nothing
to do with your son wedding. Put your son first as you should.
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Do you know the locations capacity? Is your other child not invited?
So you and his dad are the only ones invited and you have 2 children? Him and another child but you’re more worried about your man not being there than your other child? Suck it up, go to your sons wedding without your “man” and quit being so self absorbed.
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Sometimes it’s a damned if you do and damned if you don’t situation 
. Besides, I thought hubby is supposed to come first in your life?
Go to wedding. Just curious. Says being cut back drastically, where is cut back on bride side. To really cut back, should just be her parents and your son’s parents. But Go to we
Could it be financed. Only can go if you pay.
What to do? You go without your boyfriend. If your son don’t want him there. You his mom its your sons big day! Seems like you are more concerned that your bf can’t be there 
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Do as her son asked. Dont cause drama on her son day…
Call your future daughter-in-law and son and ask her if it’s ok for your man to come since everyone on her side will have someone to be with and you don’t want to be alone.
Wow … why does her entire family get to attend and only his parents? Even as an outsider with no feelings in this, I can see that unfairness. But it is your sons wedding day so no matter what respect his wishes. I like the suggestion of bringing your partner on the vacation but just attend your sons wedding alone.
I would just ask. Explain that you will be there no matter what but since you guy is very important also and I’m sure important to your son if he has been in your life so long and that you don’t want him to miss out on the experience either. Don’t throw it in your sons face that the other side of the family has everyone coming. You don’t want it to sound like a pissing contest and you don’t want to make it sound like an ultimatum that if your boyfriend can’t come then you won’t either
Son comes first if the only way you get to go is alone then I’d be going alone.