I would like to be a surrogate for my friends: How can I tell them?

I would love to be a surrogate for someone. I have had a successful pregnancy with my daughter and enjoyed being pregnant. I have a couple that is old friends in mind who are having fertility issues. I’m not sure how to approach them about offering this “gift” to them. I don’t want it to sound like I don’t believe they can conceive on their own or be discouraging in any way. I would like just to let them know I would be willing to carry for them if they decided they’d like to go that route. I’m open to doing this for someone else but would really like to give these friends “first refusal rights” if that makes sense. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.


How beautiful. Good luck x

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I’d just offer it outright to them. I think it’s a lovely and very selfless thing to do hun! Xx


Just tell them.
If you guys ever decide to look into surrogacy, I would be willing to be your surrogate.

Ps. I have been a surrogate. It was the most wonderful thing I’ve done :heart:


Just tell them that you hope they can conceive on their own, but if they ever need a surrogate that you’d be willing to help.

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My sister seems to think she may not be able to get pregnant so I told her if she would like, I will surrogate for her if she wants n it actually made her feel better about the situation

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Just invite them to dinner and tell them your proposition
Let them go home and wait for them to talk it over
Thier egg their sperm?
100% their baby?

Offer just how you said, you “would be willing to be a gestational carrier for them if they wish to pursue that option”. I’ve had 2 friends be surrogates and it is a very selfless and giving act. God bless you!


I’d do it under those terms

From what I know is that you need to be certain you do not want any more children of your own. Other than that… What a beautiful gift xx. Just let your friends know if they ever want to go down that path than you are willing to help them out.

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I told my best friend(my sons god mother) I would do the same. They are currently trying out all their options first. But she knows I would be there if needed.

I’d just say hey if you ever need a surrogate I would love to do it for you.

Just ask worst they’re going to say is no, and I’m sure that you being great friends with them they’ll see that your heart is in the right place

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Say what you just wrote here.

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No advice really I just wanna say you have a beautiful soul


Just like you told us,sweetly

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Wow. Your a great person!!! Just tell them what you told us! :heart:


I would just tell them if they want, I am willing. Nothing else needs to be said. I wouldnt try to explain or anything. Just that you are willing.

I would tell them as I did for my cousin, I know you are trying in everyway to conceive your child if at anytime you want a different choice I’d be will to be a surrogate for you. You dont have to take this opportunity until you are ready but I’m here for you, you’d make great parents


What a kind and loving gift and blessing.


drop it into conversation. they will definitely be thinking about it together when their on their own if she is having trouble.

Yes just tell them the offer is on the table and say nothing more. I recently offered someone the same and they were surprised and happy at the same time


This is a very BIG decision to think about and finally come to make that choice. Are you going to okay-with handing over your child to be raised by someone else. Is your husband or boyfriend going to be okay-with this? There are way too many things to think and rethink about!


Just bring the subject up. I was willing to carry for a family member before they had success with treatments. It gives them an option they may not have thought of

Just tell them if they ever decide to go that route that you are available for them. I think that is awesome of you!


Just be careful infertility is very fragile issue and you dont want to make the couple feel as if they are broke so to speak… and when the couple is still trying themselves it can be insulting…speaking from experience. You mean well but until this couple inquires about it or brings it up…Just be there for them.


Just be honest and open with them. I would set down and tell them. I would leave it at that. They will come to you if and when needed,…

Just pull the momy aside. And simply tell her, your there if they very feel the need to go down that road. My sister knows my uterus is all hers when shes ready.

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What a nice gift you are willing to share. Let them know, if it gets to that point for them, your will to help.

I would wait for them to maybe mention it in the first place? I’m very lucky to have carried my own bundle of joy but I guess unless they mention that that’s an option they are considering that’s a little ‘out there’ for some couples. And consider doing it for a close friend - think of the kicks and the excitement and the love you’ll feel for this baby. Where does that leave them when you get attached? I think doing it for a stranger / someone else is beautiful but can you guarantee you won’t love the baby as much as you love your friend and get attached? Think of yourself too! What happens if the friendship breaks down later on? Where does that leave you?


Are you getting paid?

Just tell them. Told one of my best friends since she can’t get pregnant anymore because of her seizures and kidney problems her first pregnancy. I told her if she would like I would be a surrogate for her. They can always deny but it’s better to be up front then at least they know they can go to you

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Maybe a cute card or something that says if you want a baby I’ll be your Bump


Invite to dinner and just tell them you would be open to be their surrogate if they are open to it or when she speaks to you about wanting a baby just say I Know it won’t be the same as you carrying your baby but I would be more then happy to be a surrogate to you and your husband and help you have your baby if your open to it

We had fertility troubles for 4yrs and my cousin said she would carry our baby… shortly after that we got pregnant naturally… I think it’s the coolest gift you could give someone… friends, family or complete strangers… good luck to you!!

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You’re a great friend! Just listen to your heart. You know your friends better than us, you’ll know what to say when the times right :slight_smile:

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God Bless any of you who could and would do thia because I know I personally could not

Why dont you bring it up like did you guys ever consider a suggorate


I also would make sure that you even meet the “basic requirements” that need to be met by a reproductive endocrinologist to be a surrogate, prior to offering


I carried for my brother, when I offered the choice I simply said… " if you ever need someone to carry your baby, someone who you know and trust. I am here. I know you both will be the best parents ever and I would be blessed to help you with that"


It all depends:

  1. How long have they been trying?
  2. Did they see a fertility specialist yet?
  3. If so, what type of diagnosis did they receive?
    See I’m asking these questions before I give an opinion. Sometimes it takes awhile to get pregnant. Hell I had fertility problems after my first child. My first child was born in 1998. Then I didn’t have my second child until 11 years later. Thinking my second child was a miracle baby and I couldn’t get pregnant easily I wasn’t super careful about birth control. I got pregnant 2 years later with kid 3. So I was a little more careful after kid 3, 5 years later, I had kid 4. My kids are now 21, 10, 7, and 2. Crazy right? If they’ve went through unsuccessful fertility treatments, just offer them.
    If they’re really your friends, they won’t be insulted. They would be happy that you are willing to do that for them. :woman_shrugging:t4:

I had friends that were having the same issues. We were talking one day and I told them if they ever decided they wanted to have a surrogate I’d be more than happy to be an option for them. They wouldn’t have to pay me or anything like that. Thankfully they were able to conceive and go full term this past year. But I just let them know if they ever did decide to not hesitate to ask me.

I would wait until it’s brought up to you that they are looking at other options if they can’t conceive on their own. When that conversation happens just be honest. I have a few friends that are having issues & they are looking into it. Childhood best friend asked me if I’d consider being a surrogate and I had to sadly tell her no but if my health wasn’t an issue, I’d do it in a heartbeat. It’s the most selfless thing you could do!

Surrogacy isnt just about you carrying a baby for someone else, it effects your life and your family as well. Find a surrogates support group and find people who loved it and hated it, there are a million things to deal with that you may not have thought of. Talk to your doctor, talk to your SO, your SO will be greatly affected by this, as will your child. It is an incredible gift to give someone a baby but before you even attempt to speak to someone about doing it for them do your research. As for bringing it up to your friends, just be honest… I see you struggling, Id like to be your surrogate if you decide to take that route, Ive done the research and this is what Im prepared for…

Your a great friend … I would open the subject first and see what they might be thinking then open up the surrogate part and tell them.

That is great. You can help someone have a family they couldnt otherwise. 1st step get your profile out there by using a reputable service. Once the family agrees to use you wont be cut n dry. There testing and all you have go through once you given all clear then ai starts 1st charting your cycle 2nd is hormones to get your body ready to accept the egg. But protect yourself get an atty that does adoption ect and any and all contracts. Protect yourself and have way out say did 2 ai and nither took and u cant do anymore so u need break. There is support groups be good for you attend. Talk to your dr and all.

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Firstly, what a fantastic friend you are, and what a beautiful gift you are willing to bestow!

I’m 30 and had a hysterectomy a year ago, personally I would feel so grateful towards anybody that offered me this chance. Obviously I can’t speak for your friends, but I for one would appreciate it hugely, even if the offer wasn’t taken up, the thought alone would mean the world to me.

Tell them, at least put that card on the table for them. Even if they don’t feel it’s the best choice for them, they’ll appreciate that you were willing to do so! Xx

I think you should just come out with it,it is a wonderful precious gift,I dont think they will be insulted or take it in any wrong way,God bless you

Maybe go see a social worker and ask them to accompany you to your friends with your gift.also they can help you to give them the news .

Make it a conversation. Ask if they’ve considered any other options if it came down to them not being able to conceive on their own, and then maybe tell them you’ve been thinking about offering them that gift if it was something they decided on


That is a very delicate situation. Just how close are you? I don’t know the whole story. How many miscarriages, if any. How many years have they been trying to conceive. I believe your heart is in the right place, but don’t ruin your friendship by over stepping your boundaries.

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Just be direct and honest with them on what you are willing to do and why

before you tell them make sure you are 100 % certain you can hand that baby over to them. it’s not that easy. then just tell them you’d be willing to carry a child for them. putting a fertilized egg into you isnt cheap so they probably wont be able to pay you. and once that baby is theirs, you aren’t the mother.

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I think my first question would be, “What do you expect as reimbursement for surrogacy?” Being a surrogate for the pure love of it, or the 30 to 60k that most people expect? It’s a generous offer, but strings are strings and infertility is already a VERY expensive business. A ‘gift’ is something given without strings. A business proposition has a monetary reward.