I'd really like your opinions on this one

I won't give a whole lot of back story but here is the situation.

I have 2 children both under 8. We come from a DV background but are successfully “breaking the cycle”.
My children have a uncle who is under 20 and is dating a 16 year old.
The girl seemed okay maybe a little mis guided but okay.
Fast forward to 2 nights before the incident-we are house sitting for my children’s grandparents. The uncle and (drinking) girlfriend are fighting so badly we are considering packing up at 11p and leaving. The next morning the girlfriend tries to hug my oldest child and is greeted with a stiff child who does NOT want to be hugged. She forced a hug and left. Both parents saw this and later had a conversation about how do we let the girlfriend know she is violating our child boundaries.
We agreed we would bluntly tell her not to touch our children with out consent.
2 days after the fighting she comes stumbling down the hall and grabs my younger child to hug him and say good morning. I reach out for my child make eye contact with the girlfriend and tell her “Please don’t touch my children or any child with out their consent!” I’m asked “what?” And I repeat my self and point out that neither child ever verbally told her they wanted to hug and how both body languages screamed NO.

She storms out, cries comes back in and tries to physically fight…in front of the children. At this point we are leaving and both the uncle and his girlfriend are hitting the car with their fists as we try to leave…children horrified.

This is why I’m typing this post.

As we are safely on the road. We get a message saying:

“I’m really sorry but (mom) had absolutely no right to tell (girlfriend) not to touch the kids! (Girlfriend) would do anything for them and loves them!..”

We have obviously kept our distance…but I’d really like your opinions and advice on this one…

There is no parental guidance or help for my children’s uncle or his girlfriend.

I don’t see anything wrong with what you did or said. It’s important for your child to know that they have a voice, and that’s it’s heard. Most people don’t see it as this because they’re little but I totally agree with it. If anyone was in the wrong, in my opinion, it’s them. It was no way appropriate to be punching your car. I would’ve replied to text message and said “We respect our child’s boundaries, if they don’t want to hug someone then they don’t have too… it’s not personal towards (the gf), but learning to respect what they want or don’t want is important” or just not respond at all.