If you knew your husband didn’t want to be with you, but also didn’t want you to leave, what would you do?

He doesn’t want you to leave because he’s sexually attracted to you, you’ve done nothing wrong to him, you have kids together and he wants to keep you all safe and taken care of.

At the same time I feel he wants to explore someone else.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. If you knew your husband didn’t want to be with you, but also didn’t want you to leave, what would you do?

Ask yourself if you want love or security. Giving up love for a relationship isn’t something anyone should have to deal with.
But there are some women who just simply prefer the stability part of the whole thing. “Being taken care of”. If you want love then leave.

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Leave or have an open relationship so you can explore others too :woman_shrugging:t2:. Crazy but it a whole way of life for some couples these days.

You leave. He wants his cake and to eat it too.

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Well I’m definitely not staying… he can still provide and take care of his children and responsibilities but I’d feel I deserved better and if I’m not all that he wants, he deserves to find what makes him happy. It’s a sad situation but surely you staying would eventually turn into misery… leave on a good note. Stay close and stay friends, raise your children. It’s possible.

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When you get married commit to each other. If he can’t keep that commitment then he isn’t worth it. I wouldn’t be able to stay in a relationship where I felt like I wasn’t good enough.

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Ummm find my own way in life and take care of myself he can help provide for kiddos

So basically he’s using you to see if his new exploration of someone else will be better than you, so you’re his second choice but he is your first? Yeah ……no leave….

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You leave. Unless you like being used.

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I’d feel so hurt if my husband told me any of that. I wouldn’t stay

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Hold up, you FEEL he wants to explore with somebody else. Has he said this or is this just what you think? Because from everything else you said, it sounds like you have yourself a good man. Talk to him and see if he truly wants to be with somebody else on the side and if he doesn’t, then you need to work on your insecurities.

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Never be one of the options. Know your worth. :purple_heart:

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In my best Tammy Wynette voice ~~ :notes::notes:DIVORCE became final today​:notes::notes:

Definitely leave now!!.. I don’t think you wanna just be his forever backup plan… Shame on him…

Tell him bring someone home

Maybe sit and talk with him, you said you ‘feel’ this to be the case.

If his all the things you say then it sounds like that you’d be able to communicate pretty well.

Have a conversation and see where he stands?

Relationships are hard enough with out throwing pandemics, life style changes and everything life at the moment wants to throw at us all.

Please sit and talk, there maybe nothing to worry about… Good luck :heart:

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I will have all of you or you will have none of me. Simple. Loyalty isn’t hard to give if you truly love someone.

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Don’t allow him to use you for the sex, that’s exactly what it sounds like

Leave… if he loves you then shouldn’t want anyone else. This will cause problems in the future. Get child support and leave!!

Ultimately only you can decide what you’re comfortable with. Some people do platonic marriages but if that isn’t for you then you should leave and be happy. No reason to be unhappy just because you have kids together.

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If he truly feels that way it’s only a matter a time before he leaves or cheats. You deserve better than that.

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First thing you should do is have a frank and open conversation with your husband.

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He’s not going to stay with just because he’s sexually attracted to you. He sounds like a good man. Why do you get the feeling he wants to be with someone else? Did he say this or give you some indication he is attracted to someone else?

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Wow. Leave. He’s a dink!

I’d suggest therapy. It doesn’t sound like he is doing anything to make you feel this way and you do. So I’d see a therapist to figure out why you feel this way.

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Hun, there’s a difference between how you feel and what he wants. The both of you need to be open and honest about things. “Without trust there is no us” and without communication it won’t work. Table talk it :woman_shrugging: Wishing you all the best.

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Let him explore freely …Once you’re divorced

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Don’t be stupid. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. :roll_eyes:

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Kick his ass to the curb

Ohhh…. He wants an open marriage. Cool… you find someone too and boom…. Case closed!!!

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Just know there’s someone out there who will be 100% sure of you. You deserve that.

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I wouldn’t leave. He would. He would come home to find all his belongings on the front lawn.

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He cannot have his cake and eat it too. NO. All or nothing.

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Leave why would you stay with someone that only wants sex from you. Get out

If you don’t want to put up with him cheating then you simply have him leave unless he’s willing to change then maybe try counseling.

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So he still wants to sleep with u and play happy home while he sleeps around guilt free coz ur all taken care of? He would find his shit in bags outside and I’d still be taken care of when i take him for all he has :clap:t3::clap:t3::clap:t3:

Brood mare or love of his life, make him choose and then hold him to it, you deserve to know his intentions

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I’d tell him shit or get off the pot :person_shrugging:

Don’t be someone’s second choice.

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The better question here is why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t love, cherish and value you? Remember your worth.

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Leave him obviously lol

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This is something you are feeling. Has he expressed this?

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Explore his friends :raised_hands:

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so he wants a house hoe and a street hoe. weird. hard no.

Has he said these words?
If so and he’s admitted he wants someone else then go but if he hasn’t and it’s just a feeling you have then maybe couples councilloring.
If he’s still attracted to you and cared then maybe it’s worth saving.

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Umm… what’s a hard pass. Go find someone that appreciates you.

I knew my partner wanted to leave but knew he didn’t want to be the one to make the decision so I asked him to leave. He’s been with someone else pretty much since that night…I think it’s hard to make someone want something when they have already made that decision in their head.

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Is this a feeling or a fact he has stated? Because feelings are not facts.

If it is a fact, and you are not opposed to staying, y’all could just open up your marriage and both of you see other people.

There’s 2 members of my family that have lived together and been legally married all my life. Only about a quarter of my life have they actually lived together. She even had her long term boyfriend move in, and he and husband became close friends if not best friends.

So it can work. It just takes the right people and mindset.

Did he tell you that he doesn’t want to be with you but doesn’t want you to leave? If so then yeah I would leave. Why be with someone who only wants to stay with you for sex.

Leave…he can love ur kids from a distance. No point in being miserable together and kids seeing it

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You need to talk to him. Sounds like you haven’t. Communicate.

Sounds like he just wants control of a supply. To have you there so he doesn’t get hit with child support ant to sleep with you when he is in between people. I say let him go and leave. Would be better for the kids to see you happy. The way this reads it is not something you would want, correct?

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tell him he can go explore anything he wants, because you will. He’s either committed or he isn’t, and if he isn’t he can go explore while you call a locksmith

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Soooo do you KNOW that he doesn’t want to be with you or do you THINK that he doesn’t want to be with you?

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He wants his cake and eat it too…nope

Are you ASSuming its his feelings or did he say that? If he actually said those words, then…bye bye

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Don’t look for trouble where there is none…

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So basically he wants to have his cake and eat it, too? Nah, leave.

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Sounds like you guys need a break…he sounds broken maybe depressed…dont give up of you feel its saveable he seems to need you and the kids…maybe counseling would help? Best of luck momma

use your brain he doesn’t love you leave your wasting time that you could be giving to someone who actually loves you if you think you could make it work thin try

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It’s not his choice if you stay or go.

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Sounds like he wants permission to cheat, does that mean you get to mess around with other men as well? If is up to you if you allow him to go elsewhere but if he gets to so that shouldn’t you? You really need to a3ll him how he would feel if you asked him the same question. Some couples can handle open relationships most can’t. I am not going to say leave him nor am I going to say stay. You really need to discuss this with him maybe he just really wants to spice things up and is tiredof the same old thing. You could try role playing! Costumes and wigs, slutty make-up and outfits different positions maybe all he really needs.

What I’m the actual F :joy:
If you knew he didn’t want to be with you why did you stay?
Your answer is clear
Move on.

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So yous are married? Does vows no longer mean anything to these type of men

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He probably already is cheating or he wouldn’t be acting like he wants to leave mine did same and I confronted him bout how he was acting so I ended up leaving him bout a month later he is the one came back begging me to forgive him and take him back men need to learn that just cause the grass looks green somewhere else it’s not when you already had a good woman

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Sounds like you need to leave lol how you gonna cater to his wants when he doesn’t even wanna be with you?

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I’d try couples counselling. For example it could be that you’ve got stuck in the rut that parents do and he’s missing the flirting and the connection that you had before children. Some men don’t realise how touched out Mum’s can feel.
Counselling might help you both figure out why them feelings are there and what’s the next step. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

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Sit down and talk about y’all’s future. What are the plans. Why you feel the way you do. He needs to know. You need to learn to communicate. It’s hard at first but every time you do it’s easier to open up and talk. About anything. Let him know you feel he is slipping away. How do you stop it. Sometimes this is the cure to a stronger relationship. This is how we grow together. I’ve been married 29 yr last month. I’ve always felt communication is the key to a stronger relationship and marriage. There were time I "knew " he be mad at me and was afraid to talk to him. But he always surprised me and agreed with me on subjects I thought he would never agree on. It made me fall for him more. :joy:. God bless. :pray::pray:. Pray about it and you’ll be surprised.

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Well if you don’t want your wife explore best to no even go their because that ultimately what’s going to happen and she will leave :ok_hand:t2::woman_facepalming:t3: seriously people it’s basic

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I’m confused, you KNOW he wants to leave, but FEEL as if he wants to explore with someone else. So, he’s actually said he doesn’t want to be with you anymore? Or are you just thinking that on your own? Seems like you need to talk and then figure out where you’re both at, and where you want to go from there.

Sounds like he wants his cake n eat it too. He must be jealous n afraid you’ll find someone else. His possessiveness n jealousy if you, does not let you go n be with someone else. That’s not love but a sickness as he does not want you to be happy. Kick him out n do what you want. Quit wasting time with him n don’t give in to him being possessive n jealous because you find happiness in another man’s arms. That’s a sickness in his head n insecurity.

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I mean if you want to be sexual object , go ahead and stay, keep supplying him with :cat: meanwhile your heart is hurting … and now you’re emotionally fucked too. or if you know your worth and know you deserve better , to be loved , and actually cared for . Leave!

Sorry I know I ripped that bandaid off like a bitch but woman to woman. I’d hate for you to do this to yourself and allow him to do this to you also. Love yourself . Show your kiddos mammas got this . A true man will come around and love you right and your babies . Plenty of fish in the sea!

What? Why would you stay just to be his little sex toy? This answer is obvious. Know your worth! :purple_heart:

Have an honest open discussion. He may fear change but if you aren’t comfortable being poly then it needs to be established so. You can try couples counseling and see if your suspensions are true and how to move forward from there.

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I believe this may be all in your head :heart:

If I was you I would leave

Why aren’t you talking to each other? You FEEL this, so why not KNOW? If you can’t talk openly and honestly then go to a marriage counselor who can help you navigate.

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Leave Cause Thats Selfish Af And All U Gonna Do Is Keep Hurting Yourself

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If your wanting to still be with the guy Suggest a threesome maybe? (However, if he suggests 2 girls 1 boy make sure you get to have your way too, 2 boys one girl)
But I would probably see that as a red flag and leave.

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If you and the kids are happy. Milk it!! Winner takes all.

Throw his dumbass out. Are you a piece of property? A possession? No. You’re a woman. Act like it.

You can feel until you’re blue in the face. That communication and counseling is what’s gonna make it or break it

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Sounds like you need to communicate with him and turn those feelings into facts before you make any decisions you might regret

Get some self respect and leave. How is this even a question? :rofl:

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. If you knew your husband didn’t want to be with you, but also didn’t want you to leave, what would you do?

Been there, done that. Leave. Mine told me he wanted a break to see if his other relationship would work. Served him divorce papers in front of her at his work. Funny, no more relationship either way.

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If I knew he didn’t want to be with me it would end. Simple. He’d still be their dad and blah blah blah but you would have your life free with possibility to meet an awesome future husband and he would have his wishy washy wtf do I want but not want to lose just in case sorta life elsewhere.

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I would leave, sex is only 1 part of a realtionship/marriage. Yes it can be difficult, but would you be comfortable with him going out meeting other woman having coffee, going to the movies possibly meeting their families , if your okay with that then you could stay. I couldnt deal with that. Ultimately the choice is yours

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Has he expressed this to you or are these your assumptions?

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He doesn’t want to be with you then he clearly wants to be with someone else. Don’t believe him when he says he wants you to stay to take care of you and keep you safe… Wow no he wants you to stay because he doesn’t want to see you with anyone else and that’s the only reason he is with you right now. He is selfish. He wants someone new but doesn’t want you to have someone knew and that’s why he hasn’t left already. Leave now

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Is this something he has said?? Because if he hasn’t…don’t assume! Ask him. See if he might want to be in an open relationship but only if you too want that…you could ask him just to make him jealous but this could back fire. Either way…figure it out before you move on…he might just need his ego stroked for a little bit. DO IT! Don’t just give your man away to the next hussy because your afraid. But if he is an ass and it’s over…then it’s over! Make his ass miss that thang tho! Play a shit load of Megan thee stallion and Doja Cat real loud for a week. Boss up! God bless!

That is Narcissism at its finest, do yourself and your kids a favor and leave. No matter how bad it may hurt, you have to learn to love and respect yourself first.

This happened to me. There are more details to that though. I left, because I deserved better. Leave

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It’s hard but think about leaving. He’s only holding on till he finds someone else. Be happy for you

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Tf?? I’d be OUT!! I deserve someome who loves and cherises me as I do them. Life is to short to be with anyone who does not respect that much!

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Like tinker bell said if you have to choose then choose her because you don’t really love me and I deserve better

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Everytime I seen or hear that
A couple allowed another person it normally ends that relationship
Even if they agreed its always bad news when they talk about allowing others in the relationship
I wouldn’t allow a third person
Fuck that bull crap no thank you
It’s rather you love me or you don’t…period

So pretty much he’s telling you he wants to sleep around?

Gross. No. Leave. Run. He will explore his way into herpes or something and then what

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