Question for all the mommas that have kiddos that you share custody. In the beginning it was every other weekend for dad to have them. We ended up going to one week with him, one week with me, and we do get the kids on our opposite weeks to give the other a break during the week. We are keeping everything out of court(at this time, we don’t really want to go that route!) We are cordial and get along decent. But what I am wanting to know is this an okay schedule?! What are your schedules…
4 Likes
Everyone is different. If you get along and this works for you, that’s great! My ex and I had to go to the courts for everything. There was zero co-parenting. He had every other weekend. Then that stopped too.
1 Like
We don’t have a court order but we also moved 3 hours away. We make it work. He talks to our kids everyday. We have our same routine. Every morning on the way to school, I have the kids call. Whenever I’m in town, I let him know & I drop the kids off to him. If I need anything, he helps or sends money for something they may need. If it works, don’t try to change it. Being cordial & keeping out of court is the best thing you can do!
3 Likes
We do week on/week off with my 11 yr old bonus daughter. Been doing it for the last 5+ years and it works great. Of course we work with each other for special events and swap important holidays. Split school and sports expenses. We prefer to keep the state out of it and do what’s best for the kiddo.
1 Like
I’ve never set foot in court.
With my 15 yr old.its 1 week on 1 week off.
With my youngest, when he was a toddler it was every 2 days, then as he’s growing we changed it up.
I pick up my son Wed after school and keep him every other Saturday.
And if any of us has something scheduled we just switch as long as it planned.
Best parents under 2 roofs!
It makes a huge difference staying friends for the sake of the children
1 Like
If it works for you and the kids (& everyone lives in the same school district), I think it’s great. They get to see each parent equally and they see you getting along for them. If it’s not broken, don’t fix it…
1 Like
If your getting along and doing whatever works then that’s great. No need to question it
Always get everything in writing!! It’s all good now. Then it isn’t
3 Likes
My son is almost 12 and we let him decide where he wants to be
My stepdaughter used to stay every weekend before she started school, now she’s at school it’s every other weekend and every Wednesday 
We do 3-4 days a week each. I drop them off every Saturday in the late afternoon and one week I’ll get them back Tuesday after school and the next week I get them back Wednesday after school.
We both get one free weekend night and equal amounts of time with them. We never went to court and it’s worked this way for 2 years.
1 Like
We are 50/50 and I get mine 3-4 days a week
Thursday -Saturday and every other Sunday
Depends on age of child n how close you live to each other (for school n sports)…
We did week to week- Sunday to Sunday during school n summer we did same but worked together so childcare was less n vacations… As long as it works for you both n child is put first- do whatever is best
When my daughter was little (6m-5yrs when school started she goes to school in my district) I had her Wednesday, Thursday and every other weekend and her dad had her Monday Tuesday then the opposite weekend… when school started she was with us M-F- till after school Friday, weekends and summer with dad… then covid hit and it went to 1 week on 1 week off… but then he and his new wife moved about 45 mins away and it’s easier to get her to school so now we have her 2 weeks he has her 1
Anything that works for youall is an ok schedule. Every families needs are different
Go through he courts as it legally protects both parents and the kids. Without court protection If one or the other decides to be vindictive and keep the kids there is nothing the other parent can do until a court decides otherwise. I know now you’re both being cordial and effectively co parenting that may not always be the case.
With all that being said, we did the one week one week rotation with first chance at keeping on them on opposite week should the other parent not be able to and while we made it work it was hard on the kids. They never fully felt settled, they constantly needed items that were at the other home and often made comments that they really wish they could have just had one home as main home and visited the other as often as they wanted.
Well my son and I now have a restraining order against his dad, but when we didn’t, he just called and asked me if he could take him for the weekend. We never had a set time or schedule. But he is his dad so I hardly ever denied him, as long as he picked him up and dropped him off, I was okay. We never went to court so we weren’t constricted by anything like that
Ideally the best schedule allows maximum time with each parent with minimal transitions. So one week on/off.
It really depends on the family dynamics and location.
My ex lived close so we did every other weekend from Friday after school-monday morning school drop off plus every Wednesday after school to Thursday drop off at school. Not exactly 50/50 but that’s what worked for us.
We don’t do court either and we absolutely try to co parent nicely, most of the time it goes smooth but there are moments it really doesn’t. I get my ten year old Monday thru Friday and she goes to school in my district, she goes to get dad’s every Friday night, Saturday and Sunday evening he brings her home around 7pm (homework done, fed, showered for school Monday morning.) Holidays, breaks and summer I give him more time because he doesn’t get her during school time during the weekday. So typically I adjust my holiday celebrating so he gets her first and in the summer he gets two weeks with her, then I get a week and we continue until school starts again. And he is pretty accommodating if I decide to plan something on a weekend.
1 Like
An ok schedule is the one that works for you and your husband, and this is different for every parents who share custody.
If you guys have a good understanding and are in a good place co parenting , stop trying to start / create unnecessary drama
This can vary A LOY depending on coparenting dynamic.
If it works for you that’s awesome. I have the every other weekend schedule. But I know two different couples that do it different. One does week on week off. And the other does 5-2-2-5 split. Whatever works for you and your coparent and the kids is good
My husband and I split up for 2 years & during that time our schedule was sun-Tuesday & every other Wednesday with me & thurs-sat with dad We never went to court & this worked out well for us. He worked the weekends as well so I would keep them on Saturdays during the day. I work later during the week than he does as well so he would get them for me after school on my days and then I would pick them up from him.
As long as that works for you. If the other parent lives in a different school district or a little while away sometimes it gets hard if the kids are in school. Other then that it sounds like you guys have it figured out for what works now for you!
I just want it to be known if it’s not in a court order you or him have the right to just keep the child away from the other parent. At least in my state, I had a similar schedule until he decided he didn’t want to share anymore. Took me 3 months to get my baby boy back just waiting for that court date.
We do Monday to Monday. That way if we do weekend plans we are not rushing on Sunday to bring back. We ended up with a end of school day pick up for each parent. Meaning we go get the kids at 4 on Monday no matter what. Works amazingly for us. 
I also will say, we decided everything with our divorce and custody. Then had it put in writing through a shared lawyer with the courts. Just because we were on good terms now, doesn’t mean we always will be. So I went court official. We are very nice regarding holidays, birthdays, if the other needs a sitter or wants extra time for a vacation…basically the kids best interest. But we have had some times when his new gf didn’t like things and we have had to follow back to our court order. It helped us be able to stay nice.