I’m finally out of an abusive relationship of 2 years. He was abusive in every way towards me and in the end, started to be emotionally and mentally abusive to my daughter, who is not his. He admitted guilt in court this week and is still being held in our local Jail before being sentenced and transferred. This is not the first time he’s in Jail for abuse, and I was blind to all the proof that was thrown at me because I had this man who said all the right things that everyone was shocked was interested in me because he was physically fit and had amazing eyes, and I am well not. I allowed it to happen over and over again, even asking for the charges to be dropped when he was arrested for me ending up in the hospital the first time. But things continue to be worse, and I thought I ended it for the final time. But I came home to him at my house. He put his hands on me and threatened to hold me hostage and continue to do so until my daughter got home, and he would do the same. I ran out the door for help in the snow with no shoes, he followed me and even knocked on the door of the house who let me in. He ran when he realized we called the cops. He took my car, money, credit cards, even the urns with my father’s ashes. I did receive all of it back a few days later. My child and I stayed with family and friends until he was caught by police a month later. At that time, he found me and took my car(had the spare key) again, leaving it over an hour away and took all the belongings from it. He’s not being charged with anything but the abuse because it apparently can’t be proven he did the rest, but because I did have a restraining order against him, they can charge him with that. Here’s where I need help, and thank you for reading this far. I was contacted by probation to add a statement to his file that will follow him to state prison, and when he goes infant of the bord to get released before his time, they will have what I say on file. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY. They have the report from police, the ADA and I guess his lawyer. So what do I add?
First off, congrats on escaping! You a d your daughter did not deserve anything that happened to you. you need to tell them every instance of abuse to you and your daughter. Tell them every little detail. Also bring up how he stole your belongings, not once but twice. Anything he did to hurt you needs to be told. Good luck.
It’s called a Victims Impact statement I just recently gave mine and all I said was how the situation affected me emotionally mentally physically financially and how it affected my family keeping that in mind say what you feel tell them exactly how what he has done has impacted you and your family that’s what this statement is for good luck and congratulations on getting away from him
Tell them everything he has done and what you think would have happened had you not escaped and gotten help. Tell them you’re fears and how it has affected you and your daughter. Im so proud of you for getting out, its never easy.
My daughter and I are afraid for our lives…
If you can say what happened on fb then you can say what happened in your official statement. Be honest, take your time so you don’t forget anything and write it in your own words. It doesn’t have to be perfect.
You write about how his actions will continue to effect you and your daughter for the rest of your lives and how you will always be fearful of his release because of what he may be capable of in the future
So take this post your wrote starting at ,” I’m finally out of an abusive relationship…” change all the “he” to his actual name, be specific with dates (the hospital visit, when and why you asked for charges to be dropped, date you found him in your house, be as specific as you can with the time line of events). Be specific with the names he would call you and your daughter. Very important… include how each of you felt during the physical and verbal abuse, how you feel now that he is in jail, etc. Really hammer it home that you weren’t and didn’t feel safe, etc.
Write your response as a letter to the board.
I had to do the same after leaving a very abusive relationship after my then bf tried to kill me. I wrote every thing he ever did to me in the time we were together. Starting with the emotional abuse and then when it got physical. Showing how his actions and abuse progressively got worse over time. Up until the day he tried to kill me. Also i want so say how proud i am of you for leaving. You and your daughter deserve so much better. Your lucky you made it out some dont.
The reports from the police are factual. You get to add the mental and emotional parts.
What he did to you and your daughter. How it affected you and her. Reasons why they should keep him or why they shouldn’t.
Consult your attorney on this. Or some other legal advice. Not an online moms group.
And mostly… just tell the truth.
Can u go to court and say why he shouldn’t be let out
Exactly what you just said here.
All the females who have been or still is in abusive relationships need to watch the burning bed.
You are awesome and I’m am so proud of you for getting away and not going back. Put in everything that he did and how you feel. Dont put in the stuff he didnt get charged for, but the stuff he did. And make sure that you tell them how it all made you feel. The changes you had to go through. How did it effect your children? Tell it all. Your statement is your chance to tell him that not only did he do these actions, but you are still living with it.
The truth in your words.
Say the same thing you wrote to us . Hit the high points , dont repeat yourself . You said it well to us now copy it . Youve got this little momma !
Speak from your heart just the truth
Detail the abuse of you and your daughter
Tell the truth… Talk about what he has put you through. Detail it as much as you can.
ADD EVERYTHING. Have a drink or two if you need to in order to get super emotional but ADD EVERYTHING.
Write all the scars he put in your heart and your daugjters heart also make sure you state for the records that even when his out you will fear him also put order of protection forever in case he hurts you its on record good luck.
Tell them all of the things he took from you, your self worth and sense of security, instilled fear and anxiety inyou and your daughter, that this is a pattern THEY can help prevent by keeping him for the entirety of his sentence.
Tell them everything he did do you and your daughter. Every abusive incident, write it down. That way there is a record of what he did, whether he was charged for it or not. And then the parole board will be able to see in black and white what kind of monster he is
Tell the truth and what you and your daughter experienced with him …he is a danger to public cos if he gets free some one else will suffer.
That this has impacted the life of your daughter and yourself and you will have trust issues for years. That if he is released he will attempt to abuse you again for putting him away. That he has to be kept far away from you and your daughter.
That he has proven a restraining order means nothing to him. That you fear for your daughter and your life.
You just had no trouble telling millions of facebook strangers about your personal life, why would you hesitate and tell the court, people that could actually help you
Stay strong. Abuse like this didn’t happen over night. You won’t heal over night either. Contact a support group. Hugs.
Tell them about him abusing both you and your daughter and you had to run barefooted in the snow to get away and he took everything you had not caring. Make sure to say you ended up in hospital how many ever times you were in hospital. Congratulations on taking the steps to get away from him!
I would include how this has impacted your life and what it has done to you emotionally also sign up for updates on the case as they will notify you when he comes up for parole and you
Will be offered to attend the hearing. If you can attend I would your statement will have a impact on the decision to let him out
You have to tell the emotional and physical trauma he caused you and your daughter. You have to make them believe he might kill you next time
Beauty comes from within, honey.
Afraid for your daughter and yourself if released he will come after you find you, bring harm to you and your family
Get counseling. Emotional counseling. Everything will be much clearer then
My goodness, say the way he’s treated you & your daughter for however long. Say the abuse he’s put you through.
Tell them to keep him locked up and throw away the key. Tell them if he hits on you and your daughter what they going to do when he kills you or someone else
Be strong and accept all the help offered. It does go a long way. I’m here if you need to talk
Anything else you can remember, Good Luck !!!