My husband lost a child so I can only imagine what the future holds of his ups and downs, no matter how hard it gets I could never see me leaving him in a dark place like this , Only way out is death remember? When you see him going to that dark place help him out, like a random date to a $5 movie (Groupon is my friend) get away from everyone for a while, just you 2, board games helps, you be his therapist , you know him best!! Plus his primary care doctor can give him medicine for depression, 15 minute visit , when I had PPD mine prescribed mine
Through sickness and in health didnāt really resonate, huh. I guess people donāt really think about these situations when they get married tho. I can already tell you right now itās not just depression, itās also anxiety.
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I hope this post is a joke because thereās no way. Like I am baffled right now. Seriously going to leave your husband when he needs you the most because youāre only thinking of yourself and being so selfish. How disgusting. This makes me sick. Heād be better off without you and I hope he finds someone who will be there for him when he needs them the most and doesnāt think about leaving him
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Stand beside him. Depression is no joke.
LOVE him but give him a time ultimatum.
Iāve been there; sometimes we simply need a harsh reason to change.
DO NOT threaten him - just give him an ultimatum ā¦
Pray for him -
Fix him healthy meals -
Get him on a good B Complex -
Go walking with him -
Watch comedies with him, with fresh popped popcorn
Play his favorite music that might make him want to sing alone
It might be a combination of meds he is on ā¦
AND
remind him you want to grow old with him and there might be something physically going on that could be turned around in a day!
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For better or for worse and in sickness and health, Iām not sure leaving him in this horrible time would help him 
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I feel like thatās very selfish to want to leave your spouse because they are depressed, you donāt leave the one you married when they need you the most. Counseling isnāt the only thing that helps depression. Get out and do things as a family if you donāt already, help him find a new hobby, help him get out with friends or have friends come over for like date nights and stuff. You donāt just give up. Being with a spouse with depression is hard, trust me I know but you donāt walk away.
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For me you have to worry about your own mental health and your kids as well. If he isnāt trying to do anything to get better then you have to do whatās best for you.
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As someone who is working on getting my Masters in Counseling and later Psychiatric M.D , hereās a few things I noted:
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Depression is difficult to deal with on our own, he may feel he is a burden, or that going to a doctor may not help. People get very leary with anti-depressants due to hearing about the potential side-effects. Sit down and ask him what are ask his thoughts about counseling/medication. Is he scared?
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From this context, I believe you both need to consider Marriage and Family Counseling to help you both get the tools necessary to move forward in your marriage. Neither of you need to do this alone. From there, he still can do clinical counseling.
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Have you brought up leaving due to his depression before he considered counseling? This may cause him to feel that he needs to fix it on his own. This is something you need to work on together, not āI vs. Himā. Men and women often have different outlooks on depression where men often feel they donāt deserve help or feel that they āarenāt man enoughā if they have depression. Sit down and ask him to talk to you about whatās going on. It may take time. Encourage him and remind him that this is suffering to work on together and that you are working with him, not against him. Ask him about his feeling on what he would like to do with his metal health journey and set goals with him. Positive reinforcement may be a huge tool for him as from this context, itās not clear why he does not want to go.
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You canāt save someone who doesnāt want to be saved. Yes, youāre his wife, but itās not your job to continue dealing with this. It would be one thing if he was actually trying to get help, but heās not. Maybe you leaving will be the push he needs to get help. Either way, you tried and itās ok to walk away.
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Since he is having issues wanting to go to the doctor this may help him. Its a text based service with real people who are carefully screened, https://www.crisistextline.org/
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This is why itās so hard to go to anyone about depressionā¦ā¦ thatās heartbreaking you would walk away from someone who is going through that but I guess do you at the end of the day. I just pray no one ever does that to you when it happens
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You are not a bad person. one has to help themselves a little.
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He needs you now the most. Please donāt walk away from him.
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For better or for worse, in sickness and in health mean anything?
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Depression is the worst. Donāt give up. You canāt force it, as it in itself is part of the healing process. Acknowledging the need for an appointment is the first step. Getting in for the appointment is like step 3-4. Because many many cancellations will happen before actually going. Support and understanding are exactly what he needs. You are doing a good job by supporting. Sounds like he is on his way to taking steps to heal. Which is way ahead of a lot of people who still deny having depression. Donāt give up, he probably needs your support. Remember why you are with him and that this is just one of the road bumps. Itās not a dead end road.
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Baby steps and you are doing what you can. You love him and he is confused Never leave a depressed person. He needs you help in so many ways that you do not understand. Be brave and you will work it out.
Protect your children and yourself, always. If you feel his depression effecting them badly (I am not sure what you mean by this as your post was very vague, but I am assuming the worst) go with your gut and protect them. He does not want to help himself and you cannot save someone that does not want to be saved. At this point, it is about those babies. As momma, it is your job to protect them.
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He wants help but is scared so he turns to you. Be his support & it may sound selfish like come on you wanted help and now you donāt, like its a game. Itās a process for him. And the last thing anyone with depression wants is to be left alone. Of course if he is being verbally or physically abusive toward you or children in his depression then step back find help for yourself & kids but let him know you are there finding help for yourselves to help him. Might not make sense but he needs you even when he doesnāt want help.
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Honestly you didnāt give really any info about the actual situation so itās hard to judge it. If heās just sad and sleeps lots and has no modivation, etc. then thatās one thing but if heās lashing out and being abusive then thatās another.
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I would make him leave the house until he was ready to take care of them self heāll never do it if he doesnāt have a consequence
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why walk on someone you love because they are battling depression ? I am one to say itās hard as hell to talk yourself into going to a doctor when you have these type of issues no matter how bad you want or need to. you feel ashamed and when they put you on medication 90% of the time you sit on the feeling of feeling worthless because you feel like you canāt control yourself so something else has to do it for you. itās not an easy process for anyone.
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I suffer from bipolar depression and anxiety. I was married for 7 years before I decided to call it quits. He did not have depression but he loved me so deeply yet he refused to help me get treatment. He would always build me up then knock me right down. I asked him to go to therapy after 2years in and he told me no. I just smiled through everything and acted like I was okay. We had 4 children (1 his that I raised, 2 mine and 1 we share). They knew I wasnāt happy and would constantly ask if I was okay. At the time the kids were 7,7,5,&4ā¦7 years in I finally told myself Iām done and walked away.Thatās when he wanted to fix things but I had already spiraled so deep into my hole that I didnāt know how I was going to get out. 8years later heās tried to come back and Iām happily engaged! I guess what Iām trying to say isā¦ Have those difficult conversations and try with your husband before calling it quits. However Iām not saying to stay either but TRY YOUR HARDEST first. The last thing anyone should even be saying is to stay or trying to make you feel bad for not wanting to. Thatās how you can become depressed as well, staying or feeling forced into a situation where you are no longer happy because of XYZ. What saved me was leaving my marriage, learning to live myself again and my kids, they were extremely supportive.
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Some times people need help, and men have a harder time asking for it. Be supportive and the strong person for him right now. Be the strength he needs and for the family.
Abuse and adultery and good reasons to leave. Not depression.
In sickness and in health that is what you agreed to. Unless those vows meant nothing to you.
No he has to make the choice. Explain it that to him , stay in touch so heās not abandoned. Itās tough and you arenāt responsible for what he does. If he has ever made threats call 911 and tell them about his condition Talk to help s family
It is pitiful that you would walk away from someone who is suffering. Thatās very selfish
Mental illness is a real thing and everyone deserves to be helped. However, if your husband has become toxic to you and your kids because he refuses to get help; thereās nothing wrong with doing whatās best for you. Donāt let these uppity know it alls make you think youāre a bad person for not staying in a bad situation.