I would take the situation lightly, he may get anxiety when it comes to talking to someone about it. I would sit down face to face with him, I would tell him he needs to do this, not only because you feel stuck but for himself so he can be the best he can be. It’s good hes aware & wants help… you just need to figure out what’s stopping him from physically going. If it continues & you still feel this way then do what is best for you & your kids
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I'm ready to walk away, what do you think?
No it doesn’t if it’s a toxic situation for you and your kids you have the right to walk away good luck to your family and he gets the help he needs
Thats how depression works
Depression is a hard thing to deal with he might want the help but something’s pushing him away too try and talk to him
Depression and anxiety will make ppl do this. I have bad anxiety and have tried to cancel many appts. Don’t cancel and be supportive. Be there if he’s comfortable as support.
I have been dealing with Depression as far back as I can remember. I barely got on meds this year. It takes 39 million times more will power to make yourself do anything when you’re dealing with depression than it would for someone who doesn’t.
Don’t get frustrated with him, it will only make him hate himself even more.
All you can do is encourage him to go and tell him that he’ll feel better… Because my God I wish I would have done it sooner!!!
Walking away might make him realize he needs help
Thats literally how depression works. You may not be pushing, but making that appt and wanting to leave is.
He needs to do it on his own and make that 1st step to help himself. Leaving him won’t make the situation better.
He needs to work on himself before he try’s to make life better for everyone else.
You should make him aware of the intent you have plotted and see if it plants a seed if not its not that bad life does go on but people who need help should always try to seek help
Put the KIDS first!!!
Tell him he needs to do it for the kids
Whatever you decide to do your only responsible for your own happiness! Don’t make his problems yours. I understand wanting to help him but you can only do so much before it starts affecting your family.
I wish he could realise how much better he will feel in a short while if he just accepted the help that is available. You are a good wife and Mum…can you take the kids and go away for a couple of weeks, with a soft ultimatum that he needs to see the doc…
Its a hard situation when it comes to men & them admitting they’re not coping or struggling in their head they see it as being weak yes he may feel comfortable telling you but take for instance he won’t see his own doctor is 1 sign he doesn’t want anyone he knows or sees regularly knowing he has problems we are our mens safe place their confidant when they have no one else to speak to or vent with & walking could do 1 of 2 things it could make him see he needs help because you can’t take it any more or it could make him feel even worse like he can’t do it without you & depending the severity of his depression he could do something drastic. Personal experience led to something that was nearly catastrophic in our family I’ve been with my hubby 9 years & hes not even comfortable talking to his family to the point he shut them out for a long time after they realised how bad things were. Take things slow is my only advise be the comfort the ear the strength he needs when he feels he can’t be all those things shield your babies as much as you can & if they ask questions let them in let them understand in age appropriate ways that their daddy is struggling youd be surprised how much they can help without it being a burden or weight to them yes it can sometimes feel like a huge weight for you & at times when he’s struggling you’ll feel like your drowning to hold you both up but if he sees you’ll take that weight & support him when he can’t you might be surprised how much he will realise he needs to take the control & strength & weight back woman struggle we voice it more then men in our lifes don’t often feel they can & when they do they feel weak its a struggle to hold the weight of the entire family & all the chores mumma but if he’s your person then you’ll find your way through it together xx
Try and make him realise your both in it together and your supporting him no matter what. He might not want to be medicated just yet? Try and do things to clear his head? Its not easy as i went through it with my husband(boyfriend) at the time and i sat him down took his hands and said look im not going anywhere no matter how much you push me away im here and we will do anything together to make this better hope you get it sorted xx
Support him. Show your kids what love is! I have PTSD from previous abuse, and my spouse is my lifeline. I need him more than anything when triggered. My body odor and heart rate (including blood pressure) are affected.
No it doesn’t… protect those kids no matter what
I dealt with this for most of my marriage. As time went on my ex got worse and worse. I tried my damnedest to help him and he would not do what he was supposed to do. If he will not help himself, walk away. Do it sooner than I did, I was married 31 years. I should have left way before.
It may also be Manic Depression too. It has alot of highs and lows.
So in the time that he needs you the most you want to walk away? Maybe you should so he can find someone that will stick by him and help him through.
He knows he needs help and he needs to seek it. There is only so much you can do, and only so much that you and your kids should have to put up with. I have bipolar, anxiety and depression. If I didn’t seek help, and was making life worse for my husband and kids they would be completely justified to walk away until I got help and got better. It would be selfish of me to expect anything different. Put you and your kids first. Think about y’all’s mental health as well because it’s just as important as his.
Don’t cancel the appointment, tell him he needs to go. Insist. Tell him how you feel and that it’s important that he goes to the doctor to save your family. He needs to know how far it’s gone, but he also cannot do it on his own. Depression affects us in so many ways it’s not as simple as “if he doesn’t want to do it “. I’m sure he wants to do it, but the depression just sinks in and they can’t move. It’s almost as if they are mentally paralyzed. He needs you to push him to go and not just suggest it and make a call. He needs your support. All of this is assuming that he is not physically or mentally hurting anyone in the house. I didn’t get that impression from your post, however some of the comments above insinuated that’s the case. That would change things.
Sounds like you’re tip toeing around the fact that he’s abusive towards you and the children. If that’s true then leave.
Damn,I’m sorry but… doesn’t anybody take their vows seriously anymore, in “sickness and in health” this is when he needs you the most, show you’re kids how you love him unconditionally and that you will stick by his side through this,thats what your kids need to see, not just up amd leaving bc your husband literally has a disease that he can’t fix by himself. I’ve had depression before and you just up leaving would just make all matters worse for the poor guy, who does that, it sad to even think that, you just need to sit and have a nice calm serious talk with him and explain how it’s affecting you and your marriage, I wouldn’t cancel the appt, he probably has anxiety about it, and that’s why he doesn’t want to go, but it will probably be so very helpful and relieving in the end after he goes.
Marriage is about supporting each other through sickness and health , having any mental health problems is scary and going on meds is a big decision not just something you do over night counciling is better most the time , coming from someone who suffers with it my biggest fear is abandonment like most with depression pretty sure if he could choose he wouldn’t have it juts let him know your there to support him and help him with appointments etc
He needs you, taking his kids away won’t help either
If he’s not a danger to you or the kids, then stick it out.
Thing is is that that is how depression works. You want to get better and make things better, you say you’re going to do it and you have intentions to. Then the time comes and then the anxiety kicks in which causes fear, stress, what-ifs, uncertainty which drags you further into the depression hole. Honestly I wouldn’t leave anyone fighting it. I would just stay by their side and encourage them, talk to them about it and give a little push. Sometimes that little push can help those of us with depression. It did me. Let them know you’re by their side. Explain to your kids what is happening. Don’t shy away from it, don’t hide his mental illness from it. Maybe they can help encourage him and give him strength to get the help he wants but is afraid to go after.
Yes it does. Your vows say in sickness and health, for better or worse.
If your going to run go ! Otherwise be there for the long run!
For sickness and in health.
It’s your marriage do what you think is best. We don’t know everything as om.sure yoi couldn’t fit it all.
The comments are proof that men’s mental health is not taken seriously.
Honestly, first its your marriage. You have to do what’s right for you nd your family even if that means walking away.
Second talk to your therapist about it and see what they have for advice. And finally talk to your spouse. Lay EVERYTHING on the table. You guys need to be on the same page and talking no matter what argument what feels are said will help. You will both learn alot if you let each speak with out fear of lashing out
If he won’t seek support and its impacting the whole family id leave too, its not fair to you or the kids. Yes sickness and in health but if he refuses to try and get treatment then that isn’t on you. Its sounds like you have been amazing and understanding, now its his turn to take the wheel. I’ve had to leave because of that and I’m not ashamed of it, think about your future and your kids future you all deserve the best
I couldn’t imagine leaving my husband just because he is dealing with mental health issues. I would WORK with him through it. Of course IM the one who has the issues so
You sound like a very unsupportive wife. I feel bad for your husband
If men can deal with ppd and the issuss behind that. Wives can help when men have depression. Depression is dangerous.
Whatever happened to following vows? Taking those vows seriously? In sickness and in health!!! He’s struggling and instead of supporting him, you want to walk away! Honestly pathetic if you ask me.
You leaving and taking his family away will only send him further down the rabbit hole.
Offer to go with him! Support and encourage him to follow thru.
My partner deals with depression and so do i…but I do know he would be worse if I wasn’t there to be there. When he’s like that just give him time…be calm and patient and let him know you’re there…try making his favorite foods and deserts…just be present without being over baring.
You have to do what you feel is right, if you feel that you and your children are in danger by all means leave and go where you will be safe.
But having said that. If you aren’t in danger ask yourself if it was You having the depression problem how would you feel if he walked out and left you.
I’m sure you would think that you would go get help but when your
feeling like that it can be very difficult. He needs your patience
and support, and it is hard to find a good doctor and the right medication…it’s a long process,
he will not get well over night.
Marriage is sometimes hard but part of it is being there for one another no matter what.
I hope the two of you can work things out.
—As long as you or your children aren’t being abused in any way, you’re not being cheated on, and he’s a good husband aside from struggling with mental health, you should continue to be there for him and should keep the appointment and insist he goes.
—If dealing with his mental health isn’t the only issue in your marriage, you are right—you need to protect yourself and kids.
Best of luck
If he’s not hurting y’all, angry spells, breaking things, needing the kids then no you shouldn’t leave him because he has a mental illness and I promise you he needs you now more than ever. I get where he’s coming from. I hate going to my Dr talking to her about my mental illness, the meds, it’s overwhelming and feels like to much sometimes. It he honestly needs help and wants it himself then be encouraging, help him get the courage, offer to go with him. But don’t walk away.
Omg if you love him dont walk away now , sounds like anxiety too help him more
Do not listen to the for better or worse, sickness and health bullcrap being thrown around here. It is not your job to save him. He has to do that himself. You have to protect your own mental health and that of your children. You do what is best for you.
What should he do if it were you that was in a deep depression?
Make the appointment for the both of you
If he’s not willing to get help then I would pack up and leave and tell him we will come home if and when you decide that you need help and that you can not do this alone … sickness and health yes were part of your vows but in no way should you or your kids have to watch the decline of him if he is not willing to help himself so that he can be his best version for him and the family…you are not mean or selfish you are protecting your kids from seeing depression take over you staying and just being supportive will not change or help him at all … despite what everyone else is saying💜
You and your children have a right to be happy too. He has admitted he has a problem, but he won’t do anything about it. I would tell him that if he doesn’t do something about it, then you will leave him. If he doesn’t do anything, then leave. I myself and other members of my family have suffered depression for years, but we have all gone for help. If he doesn’t, then he doesn’t care about you and your children.
I get this…I get this.
On both sides…I’m a little there myself in some ways.
But because you already understand your side…
It can be scary to ask for help. It can be scary to take medication. Really. You literally have to lay everything on the line for a stranger. And you feel like you’re being judged.
And on top of that society doesn’t typically treat men the same when it comes to mental health. They are never given the same grace, acceptance, or support that women are given.
Don’t be judgmental or critical but talk to him about why he’s changing his mind. Try to really see why. I doubt it’s just that he doesn’t care. If he’s bringing it up, then there’s another reason he’s struggling to reach out. Then try to help him work through those things the best way you can.
I know many men who suggest they need help, know they need help and cancel the help needed. The best thing is don’t cancel and take him— he may stammer but Don’t back down---- take him. He will thank you later.
Being a man, he may be feeling scared, ashamed, weak…offer to get him an appt w someone new, someone neither of you know. Or a therapy appt maybe? I would never leave because my husband is depressed and refusing treatment. Alot of men might see this as a weakness and ashamed. It’s the whole stigma the man has to be tough crap. Keep trying, don’t give up. It’ll deeply add to his depression and cause you both more troubles. Surely, you knowing your husband best can help him come up w some kind of plan. Talk to him about your need to have a healthy husband a healthy dad for the kids. If I were you I’d also seek counseling
To be blunt…my therapist has put it this way for me when my bipolar disorder has ended all types of relationships.
You can only hurt people so much, before it is their right to walk away. Sorry, doesn’t fix everything, and that it is still ultimately MY responsibility to keep my mental illness in line to the best of my ability.
I am on medication, and my SO supports me by making sure I’ve taken it and ate for the day. THAT is support.
He cannot make me go to therapy, that’s on me. He cannot get me prescribed, that’s on me. He cannot force me to take my meds, that’s on me. There’s only so much you, as his SO can do. And if he is NOT willing to do any of it, you cannot be expected to stay and suffer. It is your RIGHT and you have responsibilities for your kids to leave if you feel like you (and your kids) cannot be dragged through the muck of mental illness any more.
As someone who struggles with depression… he is wants help, yes but his depression isn’t making it easy. Hes not mentally ready. Took my 2 years to go back and accept help
Wow, what if he left you? This isn’t even something I would consider especially out loud…
For better or worse, would you leave a child if your child was depressed? No. So why leave your husband? Have another family member talk to him maybe a United front from his family will be enough to encourage him to see a doctor
Try an online dr. Maybe he has anxiety about doctors.
If he’s not willing to better himself, knowing he needs to, and you’ve continuously tried to help and been supportive of him, give him the ultimatum. Let him know you love and care about him but he is not helping himself knowing he needs to. You can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink, he needs to be willing. Also, you cant risk your mental health continuously being the only one actively working on his mental health, its not fair to you or your children.
Does he have life insurance? Does it cover suicide? Be prepared for what ever you do…good or bad consequences
You want to leave your husband because he’s depressed? What if you were depressed?
Please also keep in mind that your child’s mental health is connected to the parent’s. Yes you should support your husband but there is only so much one person can do. If the negative is drugs and/or abuse please find a safe exit strategy for you and your children. If it’s not, try going to counseling yourself. They might be able to help you in helping him. Ask if the kids should go. Even with depression you still need to keep the communication open. Marriage is never 50/50, it’s 100/100. You should give it all you got but so should he.
Mental health is hard, your not sure what could trigger him. Get professional guidance, please don’t ask on here. Go to a Psychiatrist, a mental health professional. They have resources, if he gets bad you could intervene and take him to a safe place, if you get a divorce it’s harder to help him. Call a help line, or ask your Family Dr for help.
Honestly the only one who can answer this question is you. In a perfect world staying and being supportive would be the best choice. However it’s not a perfect world. Supporting someone who is struggling is always the best choice but it’s not always the logical one. Especially since we don’t know if he is just struggling to see the positive or the point to anything or if his depression presents as rage. There is no one size fits all solution. Talk to him about why the sudden change. He might just be having cold feet. If you can’t stay, try to offer support from a distance if possible.
no one can answer this question for you, except you. You have to do what is best for you & the kids,
Leaving will only worsen things for him. Leaving isn’t an option. You are married. You dont just throw that away because someone is having mental issues. For a man to even take that step for help is like jumping off a ledge. A big ledge. What he is hoping for is that with time he won’t feel this way. He is reaching out to you. You are his wife. His best friend. Its time to find a babysitter and go out. I could never imagine leaving my husband because of his depression. Then he feels unloved, unwanted and that it is just something else he failed at. Sounds like your the one that is looking for an out.
No, you have a bad situation, Work with him. You may have to keep the appointment for advice and help. Involve him so he knows what you are doing.
You should definitely talk with a counselor yourself to try and decide the best option for you and your kids, but also keep in mind that you can’t fix people, nor can you help people that resist assistance.
You never should’ve married him if you couldn’t handle his depression. This isnt something new. You knew he had this. Some days it’s worse than others. If you cant handle the fact that he struggles with this yes it makes you a bad person.
Loving someone with depression is super hard. Have you thought maybe to have him get his testosterone levels checked? Low testosterone causes depression as well as low libido, weight gain, and anxiety just to name a few. Maybe start there then if the testosterone boost doesn’t work then maybe you can talk him into getting on antidepressants.
Wow, just like that, huh…I’m sure there may be more issues that make you want to walk, if not you’re pretty shallow and shouldn’t be married!!
Maybe for now you should get the counseling on how to love and support him. If he’s not abusive I would give it my all. good luck, momma.
This man could be mentally/physically abusing his wife and kids and people are putting this poster down because she wants to leave the situation and “protect” herself and kids? Key word is “protect” so something is going on.
This is a tough one. I probably shouldn’t even comment because I’m not married. But I’ll speak from a childs point of view and what I wish my mom would have done for me. If it was just you and your husband I would say stay and try to stick it out. Keep trying all you can to help him. Wait until he’s ready to accept the help. But because you have kids I think you should probably separate for a little while. This sounds terrible I know. This may upset him but you’re also not responsible for what he does or how he will be if you do leave. A wife may think she’s doing the very best thing for her husband and trying to hold on to her marriage and that’s mostly all she’s thinking about and nothing else. She’ll feel bad for the kids of course. That they have to witness how their father is but she still works towards helping him. Then years later down the line your children are really affected by seeing him like that. Affected in ways that you may not really understand. They may even resent you for it later. It’s great you are trying to be a good wife and honor your marriage vows but don’t put kids on the back burner thinking that kids are resilient(which they are) but also there are some things that they should not have to go through because of choices parents make. Seeing their father like that is a lot tougher than you think trust me. & they’re young. They don’t even really know what to do with what they’re feeling and all their emotions and how to express them. They may start to act out at home or at school it may also make them get sad and depressed. Depression starts at a young age sometimes(trust me I know that all too well too). If I ever get married I’ll choose my kids every time. They are my blood and I made them and grew them in my body.
Another option is maybe you can have your kids stay with family or a family friend for a little while until he’s fully ready to accept the help. & you can help get him back to his self again.
…in sickness and in health…
This is why relationships dont work anymore… People running away because life gets hard… Because it’s not “easy or fun enough” for you anymore 🤦smh… Put yourself in your husband’s shoes for once darlin… Try to understand how “he’s” feeling… You abandoning your husband because hes fighting a battle in his heart and head is cowardly… If you cant face All of what life has to throw at you in a relationship, shouldnt have gotten married
Having depression or any kind of mental health issue is no different than having the flu or pneumonia. If he would go to dr to be treated for those issues, he should be treated for depression as well. It is an illness not a stigma. I pray he seeks the help he needs.
You would Not like if You suffered of depression and your husband lift you? I’ve suffered from depression.
You don’t want to get hooked on drugs. I take St John Wart in the Vitamin section in the Stores.I take 2 of them 3 times a day .That 6 a day. When I see myself going in to a depression I do that ,and then I’ll get off weeing myself off. Would you leave your child if they suffered depression? Probably not. You are a Family
Remember that. Are you Saved?
Through thick and thin. Something most don’t value anymore.
I wouldn’t cancel the appointment. He should go, or he can phone and cancel jt himself.
Depression makes it really hard to do things … even important things you know you should… I cannot tell you how many appointments I’ve canceled or wanted to its a viscious cycle.
It does not make you a bad person at all. I have depression and anxiety and some days it it hard for me. A possible reason why he has been not wanting to go or telling you to cancel is because in his mind it is worse than what it is. He could have anxiety and anxiety is a*&$#@. With all that being said you have choices just like he does. I am a firm believer that after time if someone isn’t helping themselves then you have to do what you have to do.
Could he be using ? My daughter has depression and does the same thing because I belief they have something to hide. I believe if they truest wanted help they would get it I don’t feel by getting help you are weak I believe it takes strength and courage hang in there
So… Imma post in here cause i just recently dept with something similar… Long comment here… My husband started a new job… After being at his for 16 years… He was at the new job for 3 days he told me one morning " i was going to take my friends gun and end it all then i thought of u and the kids and i couldnt" this was the first time ive heard about any of this… He has never in 17 year shown signs of depression until that point… I immediately made him an appt for that day… He went… They put him on meds… Well being the first time being on meds like that he thought it was working… But it was making him worse… He came to a point of waking up one morning and walking down to the river in his socks and tried to jump… He wanted to end it all i pulled up in the car just in time and yelled for him to come back to the car… Our 4 year old was in the car crying for daddy… He heard her and thats what made him come into the car… Scared the day lights out of me… He got in and told me to take him to the hospital so i did… They got him set up with a therapist and that helped for a bit… Then didnt help anymore so back to the doc we went… Hes on a new med now and doing better… But in between that we have talked… I told him it has been hard to love him i deal with depression of my own so i knew what he was feeling and thinking and i explained how i handle it… During this time i had to push everything in me and how i was feeling deep down… My husband needed me… And to see in his eyes that he was hurting and didnt know why killed me… But i married him… Im here for the hard the easy… Everything… Things have not been easy the past 3 weeks as he will be okay one day then not okay the next… My son went missing for 17 hours and had a missing report out for him… Then we found him and his best friend hung him self the next day… Please try to work things out… He is reaching out to u for help… Have a talk with him and see if he goes to this appt and things dont work out or it feels it like it dont work then try something else… Please dont just up and leave… No it wont be easy but us women are strong! And sometimes we have to be super strong…
This would be one of the bad times you spoke about when you said your wedding vows…
What happened to the “in sickness and in health…” vows you made. Depression is hard to explain to those who aren’t facing it day in and day out. Maybe that is why he hasn’t sat down and explained things more clearly for you. As for changing his mind last minute and failure to follow through may stem from anxiety which often comes with depression. And having them both leaves you feeling like a war is going on inside your mind and heart.
Of course it effects your family life. Just like things you may face or struggle with effect it. If you aren’t willing to be there with him and show him some grace as he is at war with himself you shouldn’t of gotten married. Imagine if you were the one struggling and you came home to find your family gone…
& meds don’t always help if they don’t get It right or the meds aren’t the 1s for him it could make things worse so really have to pay attention when he starts new meds for awhile. Most depression meds say may cause suicidal thoughts & shit sooo just beaware
Find a sitter and offer to go with him. Show him he is important to you and you will support him through this.
He may be anxious to actually go to the dr and “admit” he is depressed. Men feel like they are supposed to be able to handle everything themselves…
If he was getting help and trying to get better then totally stay by him help when you can but if his mental illness is effecting you and the kids then you have to protect yourselves it doesn’t make you a bad person. He can’t bring you all down with him and you can still support him just at a safer distance
Well you sound very scummy. How about being supportive. Unless you have evidence that he is abusing you, all you have said is “he won’t do what I want and he isn’t happy enough so I will ruin my family cause I’m selfish and want everything my way”. Grow up
It’s pretty shitty to leave bc he’s suffering from mental health issues. What are you going to do when your kids may also suffer from depression and aren’t quite up to putting in really hard work to overcome it? You need to put in the effort and learn about the mental health issues in your family…. It’s hereditary since you’re clueless and think you can just walk away. And you need to sit down with your husband and talk about how he’s struggling but he can and does deserve to feel better. Medication and therapy is scary. Esp for men where they’re taught to bury their emotions and not to feel them. Fighting back is so hard and sometimes it gets worse before you start to feel better and it’s scary. And yes he’s prob suffering from anxiety as well bc those two things go hand in hand.
Also sometimes those of us with depression struggle to make the right decisions for ourselves bc depression is a cruel cruel bitch.
So glad my husband loves me and wants the best for me and doesn’t just run every time my depression rears it’s ugly head.
Um that’s your husband til death do part. Be the support he needs & help him. Get him the help he desperately needs. How can you love somebody but think about leaving them especially at their worst?? Have you ever tried to talk to him & find out why he feels that way? Both of yall should go to counseling/therapy together too.
I think you both would benefit some therapy.
You’re his wife. He needs you to love him a little louder and harder right now. If you’re concerned about the kids see if they can stay with a relative while you get him some help.
My husband deals with anxiety and depression off and on. During the rough periods I carry him when he can’t carry himself. I take care of what I can around the house, send our son to the sitters for the night so he can relax after work. I tell him how much he is loved and promise him this storm will pass. This is apart of the vows we made to each other. I do not know you and I don’t know the whole story but this is selfish. Your husband needs you, regardless if he doesn’t open up when you want him to. You know he’s dealing with depression, so just be there for him. Remind him that you’re in his corner. You’re his wife. He’s probably skeptical of the medication, the majority of people are. Tell him you’ll go with him, that he’s not alone. And keep whatever he says to you to yourself because it’s extremely private. It’s no one’s business. I hope you don’t leave him, I hope you stick it out with him and he gets the treatment he needs
So I think you need to put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if he left you when you needed him most? Be helpful, encouraging, and supportive. I love and married a man that has fallen extremely depressed to the point that he has put a gun to his head multiple times but hasn’t pulled the trigger. We have a young daughter and another on the way. Both his dad and brother are both gone by suicide. You could have some compassion and work through it together. That’s part of marriage and love.
You dont leave your partner when they need you the most
What happened to in sickness and health? Why is everyone so eager to give up their marriage nowadays? Especially over mental illnesses? Sit down and talk to him, life is hard. How terrible do you have to be to give up on the one you love?
Wow with what you wrote if I were him I would leave you. Maybe you are one of the reasons he acts the way he does.
It’s really hard to take the steps to get better when you have depression. He has to want to get help for his mental health. It’s not as simple as taking a medication and bam you’re fixed. There’s a lot of work that goes into getting better. Until he’s ready to put that work in, just leave him be about it. Don’t schedule anything unless he asks you too. Just be supportive and encouraging.