I don’t understand how your son would feel left out and how you wouldn’t have your girls every other week. Why would things change? If your kids are important you make it work. You’ve only been separate 6 months and are already trying to plan a life with a guy you barely know. You should be single until you learn to stand alone and then welcome a guy into your life. You haven’t even had enough time to heal from your kids dad. Your moving to fast with the new guy and should be running away from the last.
1 Like
Put your children first!
2 Likes
I know what those shoes feel like. It’s so hard. The disappointment, the guilt, the hurt. My suggestion is to see a marriage counselor. You loved your husband enough to have children with him. Even if you only go to the marriage counselor it should help you get some perspective. If you don’t deal with these feelings they will follow through out your life. Regardless if you have the strength to stay or if you have the strength to go.
You need to do what is good for you. Your children will/can adapt. Momma ‘s need happiness in their lives also.
Your first mistake is taking that guy into consideration at all. Divorce based on what’s right for you and your kids, not on what you want with some guy. Forget the guy and make your life choice to either stay or divorce based on facts and the well-being of the children.
3 Likes
I never liked the one week with father then next with mother! Why not just do a shared parenting and let him take the kids 3 days a week? My ex and I did 2 weekdays and 1 weekend night that they stay overnight with him…I feel a whole week without the other parent is too long for them to adapt 
Put your children first in your plans
Firstly never stay or get back with an ex for the kids sake because kids aren’t stupid they catch all the vibes and why would you want to be miserable. Life’s short so choose happiness always.
Lawyer up and get an agreement that actually works for the kids.
Simple
6 Likes
Sometimes staying for the kids can do more damage I couldn’t imagine not having my kids every other week and I really feel for you.
I hope things work themselves out. X
How about you just put your kids first and everything Else would fall into place.
3 Likes
Remember all the reason ur ex is an ex
4 Likes
Think about why you left. If it was mutual lost feelings, what’s to say y’all won’t split up again for same reason later?
If it was cheating, automatically not a good idea no matter who cheated.
If it was violence or any type of abuse, auto no, no matter who did it.
I know it’s tough. I’d like to know why the dad wants to get back together now. Does he know about this guy? Did he date someone else and it not work out? If you date this guy and it doesn’t work out, will your ex still want to get together? Both reasons are selfish and controlling. I feel like you should do what feels right to you. If he truly wants to be together, he will feel the same now and later. I’d hate for you to regret giving up this guy, just for your ex to let you down again. Or for you to regret your ex changing his mind when tell him you need to do you for a little bit.
“Why are you giving them a 2nd, 3rd, 4th chance when someone else hasn’t had their first chance?”
“First time, shame on you. Second time, shame on me.”
Go… Your not happy with the girls dad. Life is to short, he should of been taking all 3 and treating your son like his own, I wouldn’t want to be with someone who left my child out.
2 Likes
I believe you should seek professional advice,listening to folks on Facebook is worth what you pay for it!!!
3 Likes
Leopards don’t change their spots… move on…!!!
Do what makes you happy and your kids will be happy.
1 Like
Don’t stay with someone just because of the kids…you can change your custody agreement if that’s more beneficial to the girls…
You don’t have to go back to him there are other ways…
1 Like
cant believe youre saying you feel trapped.are you for real?
You’ll be trapped if u go back to ur ex and it’s unfair to him if ur not choosing him.
The fact ur not choosing either of these men mean neither are the one because the decision wouldn’t of been hard.
Ur kids are already doing it. And they’ll get used to it. Don’t make them think mom and dad is back together and put them through that ahit again when it goes sour it went bad for a reason
I feel like you are only 6 months out of a serious relationship and obviously not in the proper mindset. You barely even know yourself as a single person. I wouldn’t choose either or. Learn to be by yourself first, then youll truly know what you need
8 Likes
Advice from a single woman with kids. Stay single. A new relationship will only be a distraction for a short time. Focus on yourself and our kids. You don’t need to be in a relationship to be valid.
4 Likes
Each situation is unique, but I went through something similar. Married for 12 years, telling myself I would only stay for the children. Problem is, children pick up more than you think. For my situation, I didn’t want my children growing up seeing loveless parents pretending everything is okay. Best decision I ever made……not going to lie, there were some rough spots, but completely worth it.
My ex there wasn’t any chance of reconciliation, or rebuilding.
Do some soul searching, but ultimately your children are happy when Mommy is happy. Joint custody arrangements can be tweaked as well, don’t feel trapped.
It shows you care more for the kids than yourself so if you go for your heart’s desire to be this new man you would be worrying all the time about your kids. If you can set your mind about all this then only you can move on with another person. Like not worrying all the time. In every seperation kids are hurt most. Buy if you can handle it it will turn out ok. Like if this guy is so understanding you can discuss this with him and if he can tolerate your worries and other problems it would be best to go ahead with him. But getting back with kids dad when it’s not working with you would put more hurt when kids see you two not getting along with. As they can’t take sides.
Choose your kids. Everytime.
- I’m sorry u feel this way it can take time 2 get used 2 the arrangements just be patient. 2. He’s ur ex for a reason, stay strong. Staying just because u have kids with a guy is not a good reason 2 stay. 3. Ur not loosing everything u still have the kids for a whole week. Theres lots u can do in a week. Kids are pretty resilient and will get used 2 the new arrangements just as u will. 4. This new guy I’m assuming knows u have children with previous relationships and is willing at the very least right now 2 see where it goes and possibly take on the roles needed. Uv only been with him 6 months and unless u 2 have sat down and talked about anything serious, I wouldn’t be 2 concerned about the guys ur with but more so just the point of focusing on ur kids. 5. What’s best 4 ur kids is 4 them 2 see u in a happy, healthy relationship. Which shows them how u should treat a lady, and how a lady should be treated. I wouldn’t bring 2 many guys around the kids unless u were sure it was going 2 last or go somewhere anyway because bringing guy after guy around them can be just as damaging as being in a toxic relationship. I wish u all the best in ur decisions.
You can choose your kids AND not go back with your ex. If it was me, honestly I’d figure out my family stuff first before I ever started dating again. 
