Tell him. Tell him it’s NOT acceptable. Insist on counseling
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Put your ducks in order and then when your ready say something or leave and say something after your gone. Never give him information on what your doing until it’s done.
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I love how level headed your remaining and even through your stress your still able to plan and make healthy choices and that’s amazing. I couldn’t always say the same for myself. Rare these days. I’m so sorry for what your going through. 
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Stay together until after Christmas and then surprise him on New Years by telling him to get out😂
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Cancel his phone line
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I pray GOD Blesses You.
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Have the kiddos play outside! Or if they can go somewhere then approach the infidelity! But know what is right for you and what you want! Have your ducks in a row! But be prepared for blame, and know YOU ARE NOT ! He is an adult, if he wasn’t happy he could have left prior to cheating! Or communicated with you! But ask him what he wants, then tell him what you want and see where it goes!! But waiting is gonna be horrible on your mental state!!! Best wishes doll. Talk to someone if you can! Hugs
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My best friend went through this and she hired a private investigator. Just kept living things like normal until she had enough to prove what she needed then she told him to get out. Her and the kids stayed in the house. He was cheating- she put the responsibility on him to find somewhere else to live.
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I planned my divorce. Did not get to plan my wedding.
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35 years ago my Mom came home from work and sat on the foot of her bed with achy feet… my Dad’s “friend” came into the room and grabbed her shoes she had left next to the bed… she sheepishly said sorry and hurried out… My Mom didn’t even blink… she started counting her tips and smiled when she stashed more than normal in her sock she had hidden. She didn’t question something she had already known and started saving for. She didn’t cry…she didn’t yell…us kids knew nothing was wrong. One day she picked us up from Day Care and told us she had a surprise. We moved into our new apartment with 1 queen mattress for all 3 of us and a cooler for a refrigerator. I still remember eating cereal on the kitchen floor nervous about my new school. My Mama is the baddest bitch out there! If you can have a back bone like this then you’ll be alright but learning when to keep your mouth shut and feel the power is key. Stop living from and on your emotions… take control of your own mind…this isn’t going to be easy…life is hard. Learn to be ok with being uncomfortable… it’s all up to YOU! Good luck
Make sure you have the proof of his cheating, that way you should be able to keep your children. I’ve always said " love and trust go hand in hand ". I wish you luck. Hugs.
I would say something. I understand not wanting to ruin Christmas but you wouldn’t be the one who ruined it. He did. You are incredibly selfless for wanting to wait until after Christmas but it’s going to eat you up if you don’t address it
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The evidence one finds is usually only the tip of the iceberg, shut down all bedroom activities and get checked for std’s immediately, keeping quiet for your kids sake may not be good for you or them
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How about a smack across the side of his head !!! Boom !!!
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I saw someone mention an investigator. They are Great! They can put trackers on vehicles and then give you a report to submit to court. They get great video footage if you know where to send them and the one I had wrote up a nice repost with photos. Also got court to order him to repay me for investigator fees so you will get it back if it shows good evidence.
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I have, I waited until I had a place in mind to move I to because I knew I couldn’t make the house payment on my own. Once I had a place lined up I took all of the savings out of our account, sent him the snapshots of the convos I had found on his phone and told him we were over and I wanted a divorce. Of course it was still messy but that was 6 years ago and I do not regret any of it. I’m usually the type to act before thinking when I’m mad but I had my kids to think about. It was hard to pretend but I only had to for a short time before I told him what I knew. If you are serious then you can pretend, it’s really just up to you. It does feel better knowing you made a conscientious choice instead of just acting on anger.
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Use this time to get your ducks in a row. Lawyer up. Plan your life. Collect evidence. I sincerely hope you have a better new year.
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Don’t tell him til after the holidays. Til then, document everything, save up some cash, set up a free consultation with a lawyer to further explore your options. Take him by surprise and have a plan to get your things out while he’s not home.
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Just leave. Waiting till Christmas is over will not help. Kids are smart they can “feel” your feelers. even if you think it’s best to wait, In my opinion that is not going to help your kids in the least.
You will be miserable and I’m pretty sure everyone will see it even if you think you’re hiding it… you’re not.
I don’t have any advice, I just want you to know that I’m so sorry this is happening to you and your family and I hope that the new year brings you so much happiness and closure from all of this. No one deserves to be treated this way, and just know that regardless of when you decide to do it, that it is HIM ruining Christmas and not you WHATSOEVER. Hugs and prayers for you Mama , I’m so sorry.
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I would let him know you know and that you’re not ok with it. Tell him you’ll play nice for Christmas but that you do plan I leaving. Girl he already ruined the holidays by doing this. Don’t take the blame off of him. He did this.
Call the assistant office and apply for any help you can get to better prepare yourself for moving on.
You can print legal documents for free online, so have him sign them before you leave. Don’t let him off easy.
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Get rid of the jerk before he brings you home a disease
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As a person who has been there, done that, (28 year marriage), stop, catch your breath, get good and mad and prepare for battle. (Marriage is hell but divorce is a battle.) Act normal for as long as you can muster the strength, gather every shred of evidence you can (send copies of text, emails, phone bills etc to someone your husband does not know), (it makes for a great dramatic lead to have text blown up on a full size screen or wall or him denying an affair when there is a photo blown up life size LOL) buy a cheap tracker for his vehicle, consider a listening device under his vehicle seat or hidden at his work place, etc… When the time is right clean out your bank accounts (my lawyer advised up to that point to secretly be purchasing visa cash cards with every gas fill up, grocery store run, or Wal Mart visit), get a credit card and run the balance up) Sit back and let the sorry dog dig his own hole, when the hole is super deep bury his sorry butt and boot him to the curb. You and your children deserve better and do not need to lose your home unnecessarily. Do not sleep with this man and contract an STD that can take your life or you transfer it to your kids. A man whore relishes the freedom of roaming around like a Tom cat. Kick him out to the curb and let him enjoy his Tom catting around. Trust me it will take several years for him to realize he lost EVERYTHING because he was thinking with the wrong body part. Been through this myself, with my best friend (30 year marriage), cousins (25 year marriage), neighbor (they were in their late 60’s-early 70’s 
) and a coworker. If you remain calm, do the right thing and prepare for the war called divorce you will come out way better than you can ever imagine all of us ended up with homes fully paid off and way better than we were before Best of luck to you mama.
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As hard as it is, I’d wait.
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Don’t let him u know before you get an investigator or you investigate and see how much more is going on, don’t give him a chance to delete anything. And then definitely leave.
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Back in the 70’s I knew what my ex was up to, but I made darn sure the car was paid off and I found a better job before telling him I was done. Never left looked back!
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Tough call i couldn’t hold it in but thats me
Yesss Def. Get checked for stds! Keep quiet n busy… soo u don’t have to pretend to be happy towards yr husband. …save. save. Save… n. Then once u feel u have enough info n evidence call yr lawyer n get tha ball rolling jan
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Christmas shouldn’t determine the health of your family. And you didn’t ruin anything. He did. And you can make all the excuses you want to stay…are you wanting permission to?
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First thing you do is start a bank account or a secret spot. Start saving. Deal with his BS even though it’s hard. Leave. Cheaters always cheat. You’ll never be happy having to chase him around. It’ll drain you. Do you!!! Good luck
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Don’t wait and don’t leave. Tell him to kick rocks and you and your babies have a Merry damn Christmas without his lying behind 
Pack him a suitcase and have it at the door! With a card or envelope with what you found. Let him leave. Dont wait for Christmas or even the weekend. I guarantee you if he is doing this hes not thinking or worried about sparing anyone’s feelings
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Get yourself organized to go. Don’t bring it up until after 2 or 3 mos from now, focus on where your going, find a job and save $ write everything down and find yourself a lawyer for the divorce.
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Get a private investigator and get all the proof u need because if u confront him before that he will have the nerve to deny everything and its better to have it black on white till then save money talk to a lawyer and see what options u have where to move with the kids you’ve got this strong mamma
Your kids will notice, regardless how"normal" you act. If you’re wanting to leave, just leave. I understand why you feel that way, he was unfaithful and that’s hard to overcome. Even if he never actually physically met the women, he made plans to and that is enough. It hurts. So if you want to leave leave. Don’t prolong it, it’ll just make it worse. Confront him, and either work it out or leave. Waiting until after the holidays is unfair to everyone.
That all depends on how well you know each other. It will eat at you until then. This young one is choice of your heart & soul. Also if you found out being nosey - do you have reason not to trust him that you found out this way: if someone has told you - why would you believe this person over your husband. Then you got to question why would he -
Communication sweetie-
Wait until after the holidays
Just say something and put him on Santa’s naughty list, go do something extra with your kids if your financially good, tell him “We are still having Christmas but your a** is out once it’s over”
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First I’d pray & ask the Lord for guidance & to help me hold my emotions in place, as moving prematurely out of hurt & anger will cost your children their peace of mind & stability. You want the transition to be as smooth as possible for them to the in point they walk out of one home into another without missing a beat, the only adjustment would be is his absence. Take into consideration How your life will change & you will be a single parent juggling everything on your own, you have to take in to count where is your news home is located, is moving your kids in the middle of a school year the best things as it brings about a whole set of problems like bulling as they would be the new kids on the block, Don’t want the transition to effect them mentally & show up in their school grades, My sister take the time to build you a good support system without letting your left hand know what your right hand doing if you know what I mean. My advice is based on what I live by moving prematurely. Prayers of strength up for you my sister. Peace, love, & blessings 
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I would wait and plan my next move so I’m ready financially. If he can hide stuff from you- you can do the same
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Don’t leave until you have a game plan. It’s hard from any angle you look at it, at least this way you can somewhat control the outcome. Even if he says he hasn’t cheated, he will. And if he did, he’ll do it again. I’m sorry you’ve found yourself in this situation. I hate it for your boys.
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Put coal in his stocking… and then pack it in a suitcase and leave it at the door! He didn’t care about anybody’s feelings when he was making his plans with other women! It sucks, but this is not your fault and you shouldn’t have to hide your feelings about it.
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Christmas break is coming. Ship them off to grandparents for a few days after Christmas and sit down and talk. Then you take it from there
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Keep building your info.and proof, stay busy and avoid him as much as possible. In the mean time stash every dollar you can until your stable enough to leave. Hard proof on your end is best for the divorce court. Take photos of everything!
Why would you leave???
A lawyer would make sure you and your children stay in your marital home that he will pay for. He can go!!
Don’t make this harder on yourself mama.
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Praying God will lead you
Better to tell him now, leave after the holidays but tell him now. It’s just going to tear you up more and more. I’d rather have someone tell me what is up, then sit and wait. Like no just be honest.
I do it with my friends, my bf, I don’t care who. Honesty is the best policy.
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Do you have money for a deposit for a lawyer? If so, get screenshots of the stuff you found on his phone and show this to the lawyer. That should be enough to at least get him out of the house until you can get your ducks in a row. Good luck to you.
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Have a game plan, make sure you have the money for whatever you might need when it comes to that , but I would act like you don’t know anything but also don’t be that same person you have been, don’t go out of your way for him, do not show him affection or attention that hasn’t been given in return , just don’t ruin the kids Christmas , get a plan started and try to make it possible for you to move in after Christmas is over, if you do want to say something , say it but let him know you are not going to ruin the kids Christmas and you have any to be civil for the time being because of the babies but you can’t over look his actions.
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You find his condoms…. Poke holes in them…. And soak them is jalapeño juice. You’re welcome!
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First breathe, set a plan in place. Once you have somewhere to go, tell him what you know and go. He’s been pretty sneaky so I am sure he won’t mind if you are too.
Just tell him now
After Xmas we’re done! And u know exactly why piece of shit. Don’t ruin this xmas for the kids then walk away from him so he can’t say shit to u
Save all the evidence so if you go through with the divorce you have Al the proof you need
If u love him work it out for your family
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You deserve better!! You deserve respect and a partner who values and respects you!!!
I encourage you to find that! You deserve happy!!!
I am not one who can pretend either and I would struggle to. Stick it out till after Xmas but I would likely do it aswell!
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I would wait until after the Christmas celebrations and then expose him
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I would quietly pull him aside
And say to him “I know what you are doing And I have proof”
Don’t tell him till u are ready to leave