Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I'm upset for my step son
This isn’t ok to do to children, the dad should definitely talk to the mother,
Seems like straight up abuse, if not abuse then certainly neglect. It’s hurting the kid
Poor kid, as someone who is allergic to cats (they make me have constant asthma attacks) I can’t imagine being around them all day. Hope he feels better
Start keeping a notebook and calendar for occurrences such as this. You might need it in the future for proof of neglect. At the very least she should make sure he had meds in him before he goes, as in built up, not right before they leave to go. I had to tell my oldest daughter she couldn’t go to a friends house across the street because she wound up with strep nearly everytime from her allergies being horrid.
Take him to the ER. Asthma is something that can kill.
I would seek medical attention immediately!
Dad should definitely speak up and if mom continues to neglect her child (yes, this is neglect. her child is suffering due to her negligence) then dad needs to take the next step to protect his child.
In the meantime, dad should take his child for medical attention. His condition sounds serious. Make sure to keep all paperwork from the visit (it may help in the future if dad has to take the next step)
I hope he feels better soon!!
You should take him to the ER! His symptoms have not improved. He may need something stronger to help. Also the doctors can document what happend for you!
Step mom or real mom you have a voice to advocate for a child who is hurting or struggling. AND I don’t care what people thing about that statement. I would discuss with dad and then address with mom.
That is his father’s responsibility, not yours, but you already knew someone would say that, you obviously need to communicate with the father, and push him to step up, and stand up to the kids mother.
As a stepmom… you do have a say so, especially in a situation such as this. His health should be top priority! She is endangering her child by putting him in that environment. I would suggest your husband have a conversation with her. I do not believe it would be well received coming from you. He needs to explain to her that he will not hesitate to contact the proper authorities if she continues to subject him to this. I would also document EVERYTHING! That’s just me though. A paper trail is a must!
Contacting child protection services or taking him to a physician and explaining the problem would certainly solve it
Medical attention so it’s documented. And contact DSS if it’s causing medical issues
I’d talk to dad and tell him kids can visit aunt if they are outside or doing an outing together. Having them inside in a house full of allergens is a recipe for disaster. Take him to doc if his breathing doesn’t improve.
You guys should’ve taken him to the er especially if he’s allergic to cats and dogs. Like cmon u guys are both adults n should’ve known to take him to the er. Allergic reactions and asthma are two totally different things trust me I know my son has asthma n it can definitely turn to a emergency quickly the same with allergic reactions your stepsons airway was compressed due to the swelling. Hope y’all took him to the doctors
Horrible. I have allergies to animals as well. Warm showers until he can breathe. Clean hands and face repeatedly. And you have every right to be upset and I would certainly take action
With a Breathing issue he should have been seen by Dr already.
Oh my heart……
In addition to the above comments, doctor, Er, please remove the clothes he came to your house in and his back pac or whatever too.
A couple of things:
1)Why didn’t your husband address the mother about this situation?
2) If he had that much difficulty breathing, why didn’t you guys take him to the ER?
3) Did you ask your stepson if he was around the pets? I mean the aunt could’ve put the animals in a separate area. As odd as it may seem, some people don’t realize that even if a child is not around the animal, pet dander, fur, etc. can still cause an allergic reaction.
You dont say who has custody but as a stepmum you still have a right to speak up on your sons behalf. His allergy sounds serious. Biomum must know of his problems and deliberately put him at risk.
Imo this is child abuse . Dad has to speak to biomum to make sure this does not get repeated and hospital if does.
Personally id be back in court to make sure its made plain she cannot endanger her child when she has him
Dad needs to document everything . Then take mom to court for custody since since seems not to care about the child’s health. You have a right to be concerned . Dad needs to stand up against the mother and if he can’t you need to. That poor baby is suffering due to his mom not caring
oh gosh this would suck I’m like that within an HR at somewhere it’s horrible very annoying, frustrating. it lasts allll night for me even after i shower.
You take him to the doctor for a breathing treatment if he’s asthma prone.
Could he possibly have asthma as well? I have a friend who has a daughter and she’s allergic to the dog dander and anytime she’s around dogs, she gets bad.
If he was the sick his father should’ve taken him to the hospital for treatment. The fact that he didn’t shows that either you’re exaggerating or dad doesn’t care about his health.
Mom is going to be pissed hearing ANY opinion of yours ( right or wrong ) voice your concerns to dad & let him deal with it & her
His father can do something
If it’s uncomfortable for him to breathe his dad needs to take him to the ER right now. Medical negligence is a big thing so on that line, have a mother who exposed him to something that he is allergic to that can cause a breathing problem and then a father and a stepmother who Have attended to it but sounds like he needed medical attention so both parties need to learn from this and not neglect a child and his medical needs. If he is breathing better now I would still take a men and get it documented that his mother exposed him to known allergens that did cause a problem.
File a report to cps for child endangerment…get a lawyer take the ignorant POS to court!
Allergies are no joke…people can choke to death bc of Allergies if exposed to much to the item allergic to…my son had them really bad aa a kid and I spent 7hrs a day just keeping his room and the living room free of dust and etc bc he was highly allergic to so much…he got put on allergy shots before 2 bc of it I mean he was allergic to dyes red yellow orange in food drinks clothing tooth paste and furniture and milk cereals and etc…he couldn’t be around pine oak cats dogs Rabbit’s wheat you need to make them understand that Allergies are serious
Document everything. I would have taken him to the er if his breathing was that bad and why didn’t the father address that with the mother???
May be an unpopular opinion, but the fact that the child has allergies is not mom’s fault. You didn’t mention if mom gave him any kind of medications or if he is on any medications which seems to be the issue. Does she have access to the meds? Important info is missing. If the child has medications, either mom or dad should be able to give them to him. I saw you mentioned that dad gave them. There are going to be many instances in his life where he will be exposed to allergens, so the best thing to do is work on finding something that helps him that way instead of placing blame on a mother. Is he going to avoid every situation in life that involves dogs and cats? He will be missing out on an awful lot in life if so…
Awww how sad selfish mother putting her needs before her child
I would have taken them to the hospital, to have a paper trial and if she continues to do so call CPS. It’s don’t matter who you are or who your with, right is right and wrong is wrong!!! The KIDS need someone to care!!!
If talking to the parents is not fruitful, report it to child services. This isn’t a parenting choice disagreement. It’s reckless child endangerment.
It doesn’t matter if the cat was in another room. The cats dander is throughout the house. The Mom knows how serious her sons allergy to cats is, it basically child abuse. Tell the Dad to talk to his ex about what happened and let her know how serious the issue was. Document everything and if it happens again take her to court for custody. Plain and simple…
Protective service life endangerment
Bless his heart. I don’t know why someone would take them to a house like that even if he wasn’t allergic.
Honestly, I have asthma and allergies and I understand. If it is really that bad, Dad needs to take him to the ER and petition court for full custody.
It would be one thing if it was a mild allergic reaction, but once breathing issues come into play, this is NEGLECT.
Must be an on going thing which tells me a man who sits back and says nothing cos feelings might get hurt is a weak man, if his kids are been put in a situation because of their mother then tell him to grow a fckn dick and say something …
Please join the group “the unapologetic stepmom” I feel you’ll find comfort, solace, and even extremely specific advice in this situation. Hugs for you and your bonus ones💙
The mother is in the wrong but the father shud have taken him to the er n got everything documented
If you believe half the comments here you’re crazy. First off the child is going to come into contact with people who have cats anywhere he goes: school, church, daycare, etc. Second, it’s hard being a single parent and maybe bio mom needed that time with the aunt or help of some kind. Third, if you’re so worried take him to a doctor instead of posting to social media. You want to be the caring stepmom but putting that child’s mother on blast as something she’s not is that green eye of jealousy. Get priorities straight and get the kid medical attention not social media drama!
You and the father take him to the emergency room and have him tell them what he is allergic to and where he has been
Dad needs to take a stand to the mom. Put that foot down. As a mom with two boys who are allergic to many things that’s not something to play with. Tell dad to stand up for his son if the mom is not going to do her job. Mom’s jobs is to care for her babies. This isn’t seeing the child’s needs are met. This child is needing his medical needs taken care of and the mom is obviously not doing that.
What my sons are allergic to I try to avoid the best to my ability. I don’t take them where they will have a reaction. I don’t do whatever and then give meds. Also, single mom of 4 here. This comment is to all the others that this comment relates to.
Coffee is great at opening bronchial tubes. Give him coffee.
You absolutely can say something - as a step mother, I will not let my daughters toxic mother do anything that would upset them, I WILL say something, and she knows it. It ain’t about the adults, it’s about him good luck mama
Has dad insisted that the kid take his allergy meds before they go visit, or looked into allergy shots for the kid? It can really limit his life if they don’t get a handle on this early on. As he gets older, he will want to go over to friends houses who have pets, and if he can’t to that, he might be left out of a lot of play dates, parties and sleepovers.
I would start by taking him to a hospital if he’s struggling to breath as bad as described. Instead of posting about it on social media.
Have dad take him to the doctor and see if he can take Claritin or something that’s 24 hours it might help I noticed it helps me I have asthma and very allergic to cats. Also warm Vicks baths Vicks vapor rub might help. Definitely try allergy medicine it may help too