Is a big age difference bad?

I was 18 years old when I had my first child and am 30 now…I really want another baby but they will be so far apart idk how I feel about it…if you had kids this far apart, how did it go?


I had my first at 20 and he is now almost 15. I had two more very young - one at 21 and another at 24. And I had my fourth and final baby at 32. I love the age difference. The kids are so patient and kind with her. They all understand what to do and how to do it. They are patient with me. They were helpful when I was dealing with PPD. My oldest will be a senior in high school when the baby goes to kindergarten which is scary but also kind of cool. They all are so sweet to their baby sister. To each other … not so much.

I was 6 and 17 when both of my siblings were born. I have taken on a very “mother-daughter” type role with my little sister because I was 17 when she was born and I love the relationship that I have with her now. However, with a 6 year age gap between me and my brother, I was tasked with the responsibility of babysitting and many times my parents would make me let him hang out with me and my friends when they were over (if I didn’t he would cry :roll_eyes:). My biggest piece of advise as someone who grew up as the oldest child with a significant age gap is do not make your oldest child help you take care of your youngest if they do not want to. That is not their responsibility, it is yours to ensure that your youngest is being watched and cared for by an adult that actually wants to do that. It absolutely bred resentment when I was a pre-teen/teen. I truly believe that my brother and I would have been much closer growing up if the situation was different. With that being said, he and I have a very good relationship now as adults.


I had my oldest at 17 and my youngest i had at 29. So the kids are currently 4, almost 13, and 16. The age gap has some pros and cons for sure. Like trying to find a family activity that everyone wants to do is hard. But the older kids have been amazing helpers and they mostly adore him.

Its also been harder because hes higher needs so I don’t feel like I can be as present as i was for some of the older kids activities. I would do it again though. Its definitely worth it and youll find your new normal.


My oldest is 12 and youngest is 1. Me & my oldest Brother have 15 years between. I loved having older siblings and my oldest loves her little brothers. That bond is si special

I am 40, my daughter is 20 years old an my son is 2 years old. When he was born she was a big help. I trusted her to babysit an all. Now she just had my first grand baby who is 2 months old :heart::heart:

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My man has a daughter that’s about to turn 22, I have a 10yr old daughter, then we have a son together that’s about to turn 3. It’s actually been good that the older 2 don’t need as much attention as the youngest does, and she does babysit for short amounts of time. Girl… I was 40 when I had the youngest, do it now when you are younger than I was!

I have 5 kids 15, 13, 3, 2 and 10 moths. And honestly I love it! The 3 Littles are a little nuts but the older two have the best bonds with the babies

My sibling is 14 years apart. It’s okay! We have a different type of bond and are close but not as close as we could be.

I have a 12 year old, a 3 year old and am pregnant with my last. We work just fine

9 yrs age gap with my boys. They don’t have a ton in common. But they did/do play together here and there.

My kids are 23,20,15 and 7 :heart:

I have 3 girls, 11 year old, 2 year old and 3 month old.
it’s amazing and challenging as well. I have mom guilt 24/7 because I always feel like I neglect one to another, 11 year old doesn’t want to go to parks and playgrounds, gold thing is that she loves to hang with her girlfriends so I drop her off to friends or pick a friend and then she isn’t miserable at the park hahaha but true is that toddler and baby take so much attention that is very difficult to attend all 3 kids equally:/ but 11 year old loves her baby sisters so so much. it’s amazing to watch that bond they have. but get ready to tons of mom guilt lol but I wouldn’t change a thing

it will be totally worth it!!! get on it right away:) your older soon will want Nothing to do with you hahha

I have a 9 year old and a 3 month old. I’m 36. :heart_eyes:

My kids are 22, 20, 18, 14, and 5. They are best friends :heart: Totally worth it :heart:

I’m 35 and has siblings that is 33, 23 and 22.

What does your husband want

Listen girl… I had my oldest son at 17, he is 19 now. My youngest son is 4 and I had him when I was 32. Do it!! I have so much more patience now. I feel like a completely different parent. You live and learn with your oldest. I’m not saying I was a bad parent, but everyone knows that first one was a learning experience lol. Also, my youngest looks up to my oldest. He will sometimes pick him up from school and the youngest loves it. My oldest also will introduce things to the baby that he used to love and they bond over it. It’s cute.
And… 30 isn’t old. :grimacing::grimacing:


My youngest sibling isn’t even 2 yet and I’m 21. He looks at me with hate since I look “scary” with tattoos and many facial piercings but he loves my 26yo boyfriend :sweat_smile::rofl: we get along just fine and I love that baby to death. The other little will be 4 soon, I was a senior in highschool during those fresh baby days. I visit often and he always greets me with the biggest smile. The closest age difference I have with a sibling (I have 8) is about 2yrs with my oldest brother. My bond with the littles will always be different than the ones I have with my older siblings but the love is all the same :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

My sisters were 19, 15, and 13 when I was born. I’m closest with my oldest sister. It is harder to form the sibling bonds, but it’s very possible

Definitely wondering same myself. My youngest just turned 10 and my oldest will be 15 when my 3rd baby comes along early spring. I’m very excited to start over and both kids are very excited, but should be interesting.

I was a week off turning 21 when my baby sister was born, I was always baby sitting her plus I had my own daughter. My advice is let the older child ask to help or babysit don’t push them into it. I hated my step mum and dad because I always was looking after his kids.

My youngest two are exactly 18.75 years apart. I loved doing it all again. It was harder though and I’m a lot more tired than I was when I was younger :joy::joy:

I had my first at 20, my second just shy of my 24th birthday and my third at 32. I’m pregnant with my 4th at 35. Having my third at 32 I found was easier to cope with the 4th trimester and even toddler tantrums. I have the patience now that I didn’t have in my 20s.

My sister is almost 11 years older than me. We joke about being raised by totally different parents, she was always like a second mom to me and her oldest child is more like my brother than nephew.

I have siblings from 9 to 15 yrs younger than me! Love them to pieces!!! I am very close to them!! They were and are my babies!

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My brother and sister are about 11/13 years younger then me. As a kid I liked having the babies around but as they got older we definitely fought a lot lol. Now I have kids and they are in high school (ones graduating this year and one was a freshmen) we can talk a bit more, I don’t see them all the time but I love them to bits!

As the oldest with a significant age gap my mother used me as free childcare and blatantly favored and still does my younger sibling over me. Don’t be like that.

My girls are 9yrs apart & I worried as well. They have a normal relationship. They bicker, argue, & have a love/hate relationship. Don’t ever mess with one though because they go to bat for one another. My youngest is a beast too.

my kids have bigger age gaps because I had my first at 18 aswell, I find the age gap to he a non issue honestly.

Have you asked your 12 year old how they feel about it?

My mom had my oldest sister at 18 and me at 35. We don’t have a close relationship and it’s hard to bond at all even as adults.

My kids now are 16 10 and 8. The 16 year old was lots of help when the others were born. It’s OK to have a big age gap. No worries momma. And you’re older now too so that does make a difference

My oldest is 16 and my youngest is 3 months. He’s amazing with her and it’s good practice/birth control lol

My 1st and 2nd are 10 years apart it’s definitely starting allllll over again but I loved the fact I could include my oldest in (almost) everything!

I think if you want another blessing go for it. My oldest is 24 middle 17 and last child is 3…

My kids are 27,25 and 14…and they are all so close!

So what. Have another baby!!

I was 23 in 1995 when I had my first she is 27 now and different father.she has 2 younger siblings from my current relationship they are 11 and 10 years old .

Mine are 10 years apart. No problems. If it’s what you want just do it.

My kids are 10 years apart and they adore each other. Becoming a parent at 27 was so different than becoming one at 17, it was amazing.

I have siblings 10 years older than me and I have a sibling 18 years younger than me love them both so so so much and I have a great relationship with my little brother

Have you discussed this with your husband?

Please just make sure YOU are ready to be a new mom again and not ready because you can make your older child help raise YOUR baby