I’m lost right now and truly don’t know what to do. I’m currently 4 going on 5 months pregnant. Me and my baby father are together but he has been acting funny lately. He been upset because he has to do most of the cleaning and stuff because I be sick and hurt a lot!! I have kidney problems. I am also the only one with a Job and everything comes out my pockets. We are currently trying to save for a house but he gets upset when I tell him no for certain thanks because money is tight. My family thinks he is a narcissist but I see more to him or saw more to him than that. He is the love of my life. He is trying to get himself together and get a job but mommy is tired and he is very picky about where to work. We live in my mom has for now but things need to change soon. He doesn’t talk to me like he used to because he is very tough during s*x and it hurts me down there very bad so he claims I’m not taking care of him as a women should. What do I do in this relationship?? Is it time to go?? Is he just using me??
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is he just using me?
Sweetie, he does not love you. Let him go.
Lol guys don’t clean.
He’s making it all about him. Time to go.
Its time to go for sure, wake up lady.
From experience walk away.
Leave now, both you and kiddo will be better for it. Unfortunately I know this from experience.
Time to go! It wont get better.
During the beginning of the pandemic my husband got laid off and he cooked and cleaned almost everyday. When he had the opportunity to get a job he took the first one he could get. Leave that man.
He sounds like a child. You’re better off without him.
The man needs a job first and foremost. It honestly sounds like you’d be better off alone… you staying is just enabling him to be a shit… You and your baby deserve more. So don’t settle!! Do what you need to do to be happy and healthy for yourself & the baby.
Leave him alone. He’s a bum. Period
I promise you it will not get better.
Have you made him pack his bags already? Actually pack them for him and show him the door…
This is not normal at all
Ignore his words an focus on his actions an see how much u gonna put up with
He only think about his pleasure momento. Please you already given him so much and he doesn’t appreciate you or understand your feelings Time to let him go.
My husband is a stay at home dad due to health issues and our autistic little. I work but he never lets me forget I’m the queen of our castle. Straighten your crown and move him out. He’s no good for you or your baby. You deserve to be treated like the queen you are. Buh ~ Bye.
Baby I’mma be honest with you, a man who tells you, you aren’t taking care of him as a women should because sex hurts you is a man you don’t want to be with. If he says this shit now while you’re pregnant what is he going to say when you’re on doctor orders of no sex for at least 6 weeks, minimum? That sounds manipulative. It’s not a women’s job to please a man. We’re more than that.
My kid makes 14 bucks an hour at steak and shake.
Runnnn! Easier said than done, but I left my oldest daughters dad at 6 months pregnant and never went back… That was 19 years ago. Let’s just say he thanks me now, and has apologized over the years of what a horrible person he was.
The fact that he even has the audacity to say something about you not taking care of him " as a woman should" screw that! You are carrying his child. This whole post makes my heart sad for you because you do not need that stress and he needs to step up for you and his baby!
Sounds like my kids father girl leave before it’s worse this is part of him you haven’t seen it all I know from experience he will be worse after this verbal abuse will happen
“Not taking care of him as a woman should” k go find yourself a blow up doll then.
Leave. It will only get worse. Send him back to his moms or wherever he came from.
You deserve better!!
Sorry but if he is being picky with jobs and not getting his act straight for YOU and YOUR BABY. Ma’am please send him packing, you have a job you are mostly taking care of everything a father should be doing for his family. You don’t need him there if he complains about cleaning for you or not pleasing him. Your family is right he is a narcissist please let him go.
Girl run. Thats not healthy at all. U deserve better.
Why are you with him?
100% leave him! I know the thought of doing this alone seems scary right now, but it’s better than being with him and arguing in front of a new baby. If he thinks you dont “satisfy” him now, imagine when you have a new little one and you’re too tired to even have sex. Also “picky about qhat jab he gets” just tells me he is lazy and doesn’t qctually want a job and he enjoys sponging off you. I’m sorry if this sounds blunt, I swear I don’t mean it to come out this way. But he sounds like a child. Real love doesn’t make you question if you should stay or leave. He is using you and expecting things of you and you deserve a million times more than that. Tell him to pack his shit up and that NO, you WONT help him, and leave. You got this. Congratulations on the pregnancy and I hope you have a safe birth. You’ve gotta be selfish when you’re pregnant and put yourself first and if he can’t step up and help, then that shows qhat he’s gonna be like as a father too. All the best
The only time you get to be picky about a job is when you already have one.
Make him leave your mother’s house immediately
You live in your mom’s house tell him step on. Delete his number or block it. You are becoming a mother and your first priority is your baby. He does not work or contribute and as long as you will keep him up he will not get any better. Already telling you how worthless you are as a woman? You deserve better for you and your child is the last reason to stay in this relationship.
It will get worse and your child will be emotionally and mentally distressed by his treatment of you which he may also direct towards your child in time. Please go before it worsens. His love is toxic. Praying for Strength and Courage coming atcha!
Leave, straight up. Now, not later. He’s toxic and sounds very selfish
If my husband ever said “I’m not treating him the way a womans meant to” I’d show him the door.
Oh honey. This is not a loving and caring man. Please see that. He is not thinking about how to protect and care for you and your child now or in the future.
What the? Leave asap
If u have to ask then u already know the answer no disrespect but I’m sure u want better don’t settle
pls don’t stay in this relationship!!
Get out hun…he has no respect for you or your family…it will never change! He will never change! Possible he will get worse if you ever was to find your own place! See the red flag hun and get him out…hes toxic! Sound like a controller…you need someone you can talk to and work as a team with…even being on your own is better then being bullied surely hun…just be strong…put yourself first and put him out.he might pretend to change but it will be a game…stop playing his game…quit and find your smile…good luck x
I think he is no good. As soon as I heard he hurts you during sex, and claims you don’t take care of him like you should be taking care of a man. Ugh. That is no way for you to ever be treated.
I’m not even talking about you doing all the cleaning, and being the only breadwinner. That is bad, but him hurting you and being rough? Red flag. Sounds scary.
I’m sorry this breaks my heart. You deserve better. Your baby deserves better
I would go. He has no respect for you as it sounds even pregnant with his child. “As a woman should”!? WTF! You are carrying his baby!!! My daughter makes 13 an hour at Popeyes! Get over himself and get a job! I would not tolerate that at all. He sounds like a narcissist and only looking after himself. He has the blinders on you. I’ve been a SAHM since 02 and never did I expect anything but our family taken care of. Period. Now that we are both SAHP he gets it. You seriously deserve better. That’s just my honest opinion.
Usually people dating narcissist don’t realise they are with one straight away, if your living at your mums and she can see it herself it’s probably true I would leave before you end up living a miserable life
Umm yes and he’s lazy
No matter what means he should be working and providing especially with you carrying his baby with health issues- he lives in your moms house ? Doesn’t work ask you for money complains about helping clean (which he contributes to the mess I’m sure) and has the nerve to say because he’s too rough and you’re pregnant and have health issues that you aren’t doing your part as a woman for him ? How about he’s not doing shit ! And any real man would never treat you that way ! Kick his ass to the curb ! And the audacity to ask you for money ? Wth ? Nah ugh … he’d be missing me with allll that !
Yes - he is using you - he’s also mentally abusing you and is a narcissistic manipulator selfish worthless piece of crap ! Please leave - don’t teach your son or daughter this is ok
Save yourself time and money and the right partner will come along focus on you and your child period
Don’t waste another minute with this loser
I guaranteed soon as you set boundaries and let him know you peep his game he’s going to be singing a different tune - don’t believe him ! Talk is cheap ! If he was going to “ change” he would’ve been did it - he’s only going to say these things because he’s caught in his bullshit and knows what you want to hear !
If u accept that -expect a temporary change if u even get that and then you’ll be back at square one
Then one day you’ll look back and regret giving him a second more if your time
Just leave plain and simple
If he’s going to be a dad he’ll be a dad
The court system will never stop a good father
A lot of guys like to blame the child’s mother but it’s common sense he has fathers rights and any real man would go to any lengths! You just do you boo it’s crucial to you and your child it’s not about y’all anymore put your baby first if you’re stressed - they’re stressed and that’s just facts …
Keep ur head up
He is being abusive by being rough. If it hurts you it could hurt your baby. Your body hurts for a reason. If he cannot respect that, he doesn’t love you. Sorry… I know it hurts… but it will get better in time. Feel the fear, pain and do what’s right… anyway.
You need to leave him if he’s that rough with you then why stay and if he do t want to help you then what makes you think he’s gonna help you when the baby is born
Get away from him as soon as possible
His not into you being pregnant…show him the door…
Painful S is not lovemaking. Its just straight up F. Sorry. There’s a really big difference. A man that loves you would make sure it’s not. He would want to pleasure you not hurt you. I don’t understand why he’s making his pregnant woman work. Mine would rather die first. Honey you need to tell him to go. You can do better and you deserve better. A real man would take care of you. God bless. Pray about it. I think you already know what to do. Pray for courage to do it. God will send you a good one. Have faith.
Imagine what he will be like when you have a newborn to look after….
I’ve been in this situation with an ex and stuck it out for a while but my advice is RUN!
Woah, nothing about this is ok. Please ask him to leave and raise YOUR baby without him. You both deserve better!
I’m sorry but he’s got to go! He doesn’t have a job & how long are you going to keep working? Once you have your baby it’s going to be really tough! He’s about to be a dad… he needs to grow up! But that’s his own battle. You need to take care of yourself & stop stressing over him! It’s not worth it.
Dude if he really gave a crap he would work as a janitor just to help you out so you didn’t have to work or work as hard. Living there for free??? He should be begging you to clean and what ever else he can to help out as he isn’t paying for anything at all! You will work yourself to death just to take care of 2 children it sounds like. One that doesn’t care at all for your feelings. He would really put his unborn child in danger??? Or hurt you just for his pleasure? Does that really sound like the dream life you have always wanted? No one dreams of being a single parent but I’m sure you will have a support system and probably a bigger one if you did what you know you have to do and get him out of YOUR moms house!!! She is right trust your mama!!!
I pray you find the strength to make him leave. You have a baby to think of and take care of, not the man child. Praying for a healthy baby.
Screams red flags to me sweetheart. Get rid sounds like you would be so much better and happier on ya own xx
U said it urself he’s a narcissist, if its to the point where he makes u think ur the problem then I wish u luck cause it doesn’t get any better
Respectively why r u with him
Um he needs to understand your body is changing. Also does he realize he won’t be getting action after you deliver ? Hubby and I had intimacy while I was pregnant but if I wasn’t feeling up to it he wouldn’t pressure me. As that is how it should be . And your man needs to get some type of job . There’s no time to be picky with a baby on the way . Smh. You’re better off leaving .
SHOW HIM THE DOOR, THIS WILL NOT CHANGE , he should not be hurting you during sex and should be getting a job for his child’s sake, if you don’t show him the door , he will continue to sponge off you and potentially harm your child , if you do what I did and waited till your kids are 3 years old in an attempt to keep the family together , fail and leave, he will never pay you a penny and harrass you in court and all aspects of your life , won’t pay you for the kids but will demand half of your benefits and 50/50 , not because hes a loving father and wants to see his kids but to use them to get at you.
You are setting yourself up for years of misery.
Tell him to move out and NEVER put his name on the birth certificate and get a lawyer to make you primary carer and sole custody. Omg!!! So many red flags
Its not normal at all or safe for you or the baby, sorry you need to kick his sorry ass to the curb that aint love by no means if he truly loved you he would be bending over backwards to make sure you get to rest and you and the baby are fine and happy and healthy not this that ur saying and rough sex that is hurting you whilst pregnant could be or end up harming you and or the baby he really needs to grow up and u need a real man.
He needs to grow up and stop being so selfish and more sensitive to your needs and feelings. Tell him how you feel ,even if you have to sit down and write it all out on paper to get him to understand it. Tell him what you expect out of him as a partner and as a parent. He doesnt sound too motivated or intelligent either. If youre going to do it all alone then you might as well be alone. You didnt take him to raise. His mama needs to finish the job,not you.
I think you know the answer to your question.
As a woman should??? Seriously? You’re gonna put up with that shit? You can do better and you will. Give yourself more credit and don’t settle.
I think tf not ! You’re better off alone than with a man like that ! He basically just stresses you out ! You do not need his bullshit ! Especially during your pregnancy. The fact that you’re wondering if he’s using you is a red flag altogether. Kick his ass to the curb.
Get him out, leave him well alone
What makes him so entitled to be particular about where he works when he’s broke? He’s NOT being a man. He’s low grade narcissist, and you’re enabling him. You are not his Mother. Get serious about your life
Oh hun best decision is to leave get yourself set before the baby focus on you he won’t change this is financial abuse and red flag walk away
Time to go honey ,your pregnant and he isn’t being easy with you ? And your the only one bringing in an income ? Smh no you and your child deserve better .talk to your ma about kicking him to the curb and put him on child support ,he will get to work fast or he will go to jail for not paying it and helping .
Dump him !see if he gets work then ! Wake up girl
Girl, there’s so many red flags here, you should be seeing a damn circus. Good luck mama, if you don’t get back in touch with reality, your gonna be wasting some good energy and time driving yourself insane. Can’t even blame him cuz he ain’t even hiding who he is from you.
Yikes she has a self centered, entitled, abusive, user Narcissist
Once ur baby gets there you will have 2 that ur raising. He sounds selfish and lazy. We seem to hang on to these guys after awhile, that show us this unbelievable amazing person and once ur hooked the true side comes out and show u the selfish, lazy, dead beat side . But we keep hanging on praying he will wake up one day to realize how great u are and see how lucky he is, that u still had his back through it all. But girlie i dated my best friend of 12 years, dated for 5 years , he was even a ex preacher ( had to step down due to a divorce he went through). I was absolutely on cloud 9 for the first year, but after that it was small fusses he would take it to a whole different level by being cruel, hurtful, gaslighting me. Id leave then it would be great, 2 weeks later i find myself with a 9mm to my head and it was literally a nightmare But it starts out small, before u know it u start realizing that ur doing it alone so why do u need him around, its not the emotional or physical support that u would get from a normal guy that we call a man, definitely isnt sex or cuddling, or that he helps with the baby . Its all u. Dont allow him to be a bum , while ur preparing for ur future. He dont get to be picky with a job , he should have thought about that before laying down . Girl u dont have to ask any of us cause i can tell in ur message ur at that point already. So help him along , cause even after u and after u have the baby 60% of tbe time their living off another female , no job still, and wont even care to help or see the baby. Babies wont make them grow up any faster. So dump him and focus on u and the baby.
Point blank, he has a child on the way he doesn’t get to be picky where he works
Its only gonna get worse sweetie! Been there and it took me a long time to learn and I learned the hard way.
Girl one think I have to say run I been there done that you do better without him set q plan in plan in place and get out
So he is upset because he has to clean when he doesn’t work and gets mad cos your pregnant and Woking and obviously tired and he can’t get his
You know u are giving birth to baby and not supporting another bigger baby.
Close your eyes and imagine this is it , this is as good as it gets with him.
He thinks he is worthy of the best job yet can’t take care of u. With him without him you’re alone
Love is more than a word. Anyone can say they love you, but pay close attention to what they show you, because he can say he loves you all day long, but if he’s getting his feelings hurt because you physically can’t do certain chores since carrying his child, he refuses to help you financially, and then guilts you about your physical relationship, that’s not love. If he truly loved you, he would move mountains to make sure you and your child are happy, healthy, and cared for. My ex did the same things you’re talking about, and he abandoned us for another woman after our baby was born. Learn from other people’s mistakes, and get out while it’s still your choice, before he breaks your heart and abandons you, because it suits him to do so, regardless of how it affects you.
Absolutely piss weak gutless man.
Leave now!! It will get worse!!!
Bye bye time. Huge red flags all over!
Man … who types these things?
He is using you go don’t look back and sex shouldn’t hurt if he doesn’t care than that’s your sign if you have to ask you already know the answer leave him
You answered your own questions. Kick him out . You do not have to deal with a piece of crap who is willing to tell you out loud that you need to take care of him as a man . That is the life you want for you and a child you are bringing up soon . Pack his bags and never look back and learn to love yourself and your child so no man will ever treat you like this again . Quit being so lonely within yourself that you are willing to put up with that and sleep with that . That is the worse kind of man out there and he is not a man he is a boy who is cruel intentionally . Get help so you will become a strong person for yourself so you will be a good parent to teach your child . Good luck and please leave him now.
Dump his ass… he’s no good to you or your baby
I’m surprised your mom that u live w hasn’t packed his shit & kicked him out that’s what needs to happen
Sounds like you have 2 kids… toss his ass out
Those are all bad signs love, if your guys says leave I would, especially with you pregnant working, and hurting he shouldn’t be down on you all the time, he should be supportive
It would be over for me. He sounds controlling narcissistic. Kick him to the curb
He is a Narcissist you need to leave now plz don’t wait
Read your own story. Nonsense!
Of all the pieces I read on here this has to be one of the worst . Kick him out , you have your mum for support . You don’t need him x
I married my man child please don’t make the same mistake. It doesn’t change
Sounds like it is time to go. I am not gonna be with somebody that hurts me and don’t want to help clean anything. I am sure he helps dirty up so he can clean up just as well as you can.
Don’t do that to your self . Get away from him
Read what you wrote out loud and you will have your answer…
You already have one child on the way you are going to have to raise and support do you really need to finish his mama’s job? Throw that whole as human away and get you a new one that knows how to treat a woman. The last thing you need is to be supporting him and a baby while he’s sucking the life out of you. Girl tell him kick rocks!
So he refuses to take care of himself either financially or physically. Expects you & your mother to provide for him. Doesn’t take your feelings into consideration on anything. Yes girl he’s using you. You need to kick him out. Depending on where you live you will probably have to evict him. Start the process now. Tell the judge he doesn’t contribute, is emotionally abusive & controlling. Whatever you do don’t put his name on the bc. Don’t let him see & especially don’t let him take your baby anywhere. He will use that child to control you forever. He can apply for rights. I doubt he will. He expects everything to be done for him. He feels entitled to have no responsibility.
Unfortunately it seems so. Free food, house and stuff… it doesn’t seem to care too much about you… but what you have…
Huge red flags.
Sounds horrible. Drop the zero and go find your TRUE “LOVE OF YOUR LIFE!”