Is it hard to adopt as a single parent?

I want to adopt a baby in the near future. I am a single mom with two girls, and I live in NC how hard would it be to adopt a baby being a single mom? I also have a good-paying job


Start by fostering if that’s an option for you. Ten of thousands of children needing to be housed


You’ll need a lot of $$$. It’s like 50k just for paper work. Lots of time off from work to do interviews and house checks. Etc. If you dont care about age group. Try fostering for a year or 2 and maybe then adoption. I know someone who did fostering. Then filed to adopt the kids.

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Adopting through an agency is extremely difficult on the best of circumstances. I second the foster-to-adopt program. You have to go through their training and prove you can financially undertake the kiddo. But it’s very rewarding.

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Fostering would be your best bet! I have a friend who is a single Foster mom and has legally adopted 3 of her fostered kiddos, and still fosters.

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It’s extremely difficult even for a married couple with 2 well paying stable jobs to adopt. A single parent is going to find it nearly impossible. Best bet is to either foster (if you can) and apply to adopt that child or find a private party who will adopt directly to you without using an agency. Regardless of the route you take, it is very expensive. Paperwork, lawyers, etc adds up quickly.

It will probably be easier/cheaper to do a private adoption than going through an agency.
You could also apply to do Foster-Adoption through your state. I know of a few people through my church who were able to adopt as a single parent by fostering the child first.

Adopting babies privately can be pretty expensive $30,000+ so I have heard. Adopting from foster care is virtually free outside of finalization/attorney fees. Most states you don’t have to foster beforehand you can adopt only. Depends on your state. Many lawyers will finalize for free or reduced rates as well. Here’s the link to all waiting children available for adoption in the United States.

I adopted my oldest son, and it didn’t cost me tens of thousands of dollars…but that could’ve been my particular situation. The question of whether you could legally adopt depends on a large number of factors, so I can’t really answer that question. They’ll look at your criminal, medical, and financial history to determine whether you’re qualified. The requirements will also vary based on the type of adoption you’re seeking. Is it a child you’ve never met? A family member? A friend? Is the child already residing with you? Have the biological parents’ rights already been removed? If not, are you seeking consent or arguing abandonment? All of these things factor in to each individual case. If you are seeking adoption of a child that doesn’t currently reside with you or the child of a relative/friend/consenting parents, the best piece of advice I can give you is to consider all the variables in adoption and get a clear idea of what it is that you want before you start the process. Do you want a baby? A toddler? A preteen? A vast majority of children awaiting adoption weren’t given up voluntarily, but forcibly removed by the state. Are you willing/able to deal with the trauma that results from those experiences? Do you want a perfectly healthy child or special needs? Do you want a child that has no contact with the biological family or are you okay with overseeing their contact? The biggest thing I run into when people ask me about adoption is that they have this idea in their head of picking out a perfectly healthy baby and taking them home and that’s that. Now, those types of adoption do happen, but the vast majority are not so cut and dry.

It depends on the state and county. Sometimes just a good paying job is not enough for them to say yea go ahead have this child. You should contact an adoption attorney and have them help you with the process. Or even see if they have free consultations to see what all needs to happen. That way you can start somewhere. If it’s the near future you will want to have all your ducks in a row before you even try.


It’s gonna be pretty difficult. Most agencies and even courts have an old school mindset that a child needs two parents to raise a healthy well rounded family. They’re also gonna see that you already have two other kids and likely feel that even with a good paying job that it’s too much on one person. Your home has to be just perfect as well in size and cleanliness (which they’re OCD about) when they come do the checks and will require you to pass a psych test among other things. Just for them to come through and deem your house suitable they charge 5k. Sorry to say but as a single parent I wouldn’t get my hopes up

Get a hold of an adoption lawyer and go from there. They will be able to give you all the information you need and without discourag you.

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Let’s just put it this way a good stepping stone is Fostering. They help you through the legalities and lots of little ones that need homes in the system.


If you have a good paying job why not support a family in need? Keep families together by supporting them rather than putting a child through the trauma of adoption.


Foster to adopt is unethical because the goal of foster care is reunification. Just don’t. And know that no infant needs you. There are huge lineups for womb wet infants and it’s fully unethical. Put your money towards preserving families. Most need $1000 or less to get thru whatever temporary/pregnancy related crisis they face. Help prevent generational trauma and support families directly thru groups like saving our sisters


Wouldn’t it be better to help a family stay together than to take a baby from its mother? Research adoption trauma.


I’m a single mom and I adopted 4 children in the state of California from the fostercare system. Honestly I had no issues.


I adopted a little girl 2 years ago alone (I’m UK) however have friends done it solo in US. It’s a very straightforward process much as a couple application nowadays. Good luck xx


The demand for infants has exceeded the supply. There are dozens of hopeful adoptive parents waiting for each infant born to a mother whose considering relinquishing her rights. You won’t be adopting a baby soon so maybe put your energy into something more helpful like supporting at risk families in your area.


Support locking up shitty fucking parents who choose drugs over raising their kids :heart: love support adoption from an adopted child thankyou


Separating mother and child creates trauma for both. Please spend time in some adoptee-led FB groups and really listen to what adult adoptees are saying about living adopted.

Adopted people are four times more likely to attempt suicide than those raised with natural family. Separating mother and child creates trauma for both. Rather than buying an infant to suit your desires, why not help mothers keep their children? You are not entitled to other people’s children, regardless of your job status.


My adopted mother was a single woman. She adopted all of us through the.foster care system.


I’m going to be the latter here but adoption is AMAZING and I say this because I AM ADOPTED. If it weren’t for my adopted parents I would have been stuck in the system or living with my drug addict of a mom with NO job, NO stability and SEVEN other kids. Adoption is amazing and you should totally go for it! I have a friend who adopted when she was a single mother and even though it was a longer process for her she would never go back. Do whatever you want to do mamas, don’t let anyone else here tell you otherwise!!


It doesn’t hurt to try. Please don’t pay attention to all the negativity on this post. Start with a lawyer or being a foster parent. I hope you find a baby that needs you soon and give he/she a wonderful home.


I can’t offer any advice, but oh my God. Why are people so rude?! Some of these comments are mind blowing. Best of luck to you dear. And bless y’all’s hearts. Some of y’all are just being ugly


Just know that it isn’t a guarantee that the baby will ever play along with the fantasy. I know i never did. Not all of us can be broken in that way. Our roots are too strong.


Foster a child would be easier. Adopting will be hard if you’re single.

Nope, I can’t read any more. My only comment is I hope the ignorant in this thread never parent any child.


Fark no. And it’s not just because you’re a single mum. There’s a myriad of reasons. #adoptiontrauma #askanadoptee #adopteeinformed #traumainformed


No it’s not a good idea to adopt as a single mother. You already have two children. You don’t need a third. The trauma that comes with the adoption cannot be understated! It would be better to use the money from your high paying job to support organizations like Saving Our Sisters to make sure mother and child get to stay together. Rather than buying a baby that isn’t yours and you’re not entitled to.


What are these comments :woman_facepalming: if someone wants an abortion they are told do adoption but if someone wants to adopt people are telling them not to… this is ridiculous would you people rather kids grow up in care unloved?


I think it’s a lovely thought and if you want to do it you should definitely try


Foster to adopt. No it’s not hard. I was single and have 2 kids.

Some of these comments are ridiculous


Whoever the admin is in this group… you’re failing some of these comments r down right fucking ignorant


I was single and brought an adopted daughter into our marriage. It’s fairly simple if you have a a steady income and can pass background They will guide you through the rest.

How about help a single mom facing a temporary crises keep her baby? Its a lot cheaper and more fulfilling for everyone.


I adopted, initially I was single on the forms. My best advice is you definately can do it but get a lawyer on board. They say they dont discriminate but they do. Its alot of work, it’s very invasive, and as a single mom they tried to discriminate based on my financials and my “bond” because I had to work. My best advice is to get a lawyer involved and let them know you have one so they dont slack on their paperwork or work you over based on you being single.
Side note: it’s your decision. These nasty comments are coming from people who never went through the system and have no idea what it’s like to be the child in this position👍.

Please don’t. Adoption is trauma.


My friend did, she’s an elementary school teacher. It was a long and expensive process but she did it!!!


Go thru foster care. In Pa it’s free to adopt thru the foster Care system. Just a thought!

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For those justifying infant trafficking because “the system”, please point to the part of the OPs question where she states she wants to provide a home for a child who actually needs one. Point to the part where she asks about fostering as a single mom and potentially adopting a child whose parents’ rights have been terminated.

Can’t do it, can you. That’s because she’s talking about domestic infant adoption! She wants to buy a baby! There are literally dozens of couples competing to be chosen by the mother for every one infant that becomes available. People have professional photo shoots and hire consultants to help them craft the perfect profile to ensure some exploited mother chooses them. They pay tens of thousands of dollars in “fees” to adopt. If they’re just fees, why do they vary based on the gender and race of the infant? Because it’s a purchase price that varies based on supply and demand.

Maternal separation causes trauma. We shouldn’t be intentionally inflicting that just because people we deem more worthy WANT a baby! We certainly shouldn’t be doing it for profit. Stop celebrating infant trafficking. Mothers need support, not separation.


Adoption is trauma find someone you know that can be contacted by your child for a shared paternity
Sperm donation is never anonymous due to dna testing and children deserve access to their biological genetic parents

I was told my adoptive mother was a drug addict. After reunion i found this to be untrue. We need to address the toxic undertones in adoptive relationships which has negatively affected legislation over the last 60+ years -

For the love of god don’t be a toxic adoptive o Parent.

FYI you’ll most likely stop another woman from being a single parent

What makes you so special

Regards Adopted person.


Depending on what state you are in, (I’m in Texas) Iam a CPS certified Foster/Adoptive parent, if you go through the state and get certified to FOSTER then you can petition to adopt. The process for me was 2 yrs but the State paid for the Adoption.

Go for it. I adopt my son 42 years ago he is the best young man I know love them with all my heart

How about helping a single mother keep her child instead of taking it from her. An adult adoptee speaking here. We want our families not to be taken from them. Maybe you can give them violin lessons and a pony but that is not what we want. We want our real families not more things.


My grandma adopted me when I was two. I am so thankful she did so. My mom was horribly neglectful to me. I was left in soaking wet diapers with piss filled sheets. As a newborn I was locked in a room for 7-12 hours at a time. Without my grandma I’d be dead. I want my tubes tied because I dont want another newborn but I figured if I wanted another kid I’d foster or adopt and I am a single mom as well.

A lot of places won’t adopt out to single parents but I really think you should apply anyway because maybe it’s changed in the past few years or they will really like you!

Honey do what your soul tells you… if you want to adopt… go out and start researching and applying don’t… I repeat… do not come ask for advice on Facebook…