Great post. Sorry in advance. How hard or easy is it to take a child from a mother? As in the child primarily living with mother, how hard would it be to change that to the child living primarily with the father? My son has an immune system issue. He’s been living with me since day 1. He will be eight months next week. His specialist has said my son needs to stay quarantined at my house due to his condition. He is also missing some NK cells which fight off cancerous cells and tumors and whatnot. My son’s father wanted every weekend or every other weekend. I asked him if he could wait till after our son is a year old. He seemed okay with that. But then once we found out our son still has to be quarantined (we both misunderstood something she said in the past), he is now acting like he wants to try to get the court to have him have our son living primarily at his house. I guess bc he doesn’t want to do visitation at my house. Now keep in mind, I have never tried to keep our son from him. I have always said that he can come to see him whenever he wants to. He chose to only see his son on the weekends for a few hours. And even then, if something better came up, he would do that instead. (Hunting, taking the neighbor’s kid hunting, going to a concert, hanging with friends, etc.) He only paid me child support for three months. Never bought diapers, only bought wipes and tissues once. Only buy toys or books in one month (August). It doesn’t buy clothes. He’s basically a visitor. Not a father. He doesn’t have a bond with his son. I can’t even change his child’s diaper or put him down for a nap without our son totally freaking out. I’ve given time each time because I know it takes time, and it’s something he’s gotta get used to, but it stems from him never doing anything with him to bond with him. He can’t even remember when the pediatrician appointments are. He said his lawyer told him not to miss anymore. But he still did. He has been mad and threatened to resign his rights. He has basically admitted to only seeing my son when he’s got nothing else to do. I do have a lawyer, and he tells me that my son isn’t going to get taken from me and to walk into mediation with a smile. But I can’t help but be fearful. I’m the one who does everything for my son. I pay for everything for my son. Everyone thinks that his father will just dip out the second he doesn’t get what he wants. Please, no rude comments. I’m aware a child needs his father. And I have tried to show him he can be in his life. But he hates not having control, and he hates not having things his way. He’s also very verbally abusive, manipulative, and he’s a liar.
Let him take you to court, then he has to pay legal fees to it’ll end up worse off for him. If you’ve been medically advised that your son needs to be quarantined at your house where he PRIMARILY LIVES then the court system will/should not put that at risk.
He won’t get full custody especially with the doctor saying baby should be at your home. I’d take him to court so you can get full custody and demand child support.
I was her & lies changed everything. Months & seasons later things are gradually changing. … All done in the dark eventually comes to light even lies
No worries. He will get his visitation but it will be amended to be at your home. Bring all medical documentation with you.
How could he see his son when he has to stay at your house? He goes there? He should be there to see how you do meds and care for him so he can feel confident when he does go w him
He wont be able to take ur kid away, i wouldnt even get a lawyer, youll meet w a mediator and come up with a stipulation and that’s what will happen
If you can get him to sign the right over do it
From what u have said he has a snowballs chance in Miami of taking ur son away. The court will also take into consideration that his dr said he has to b quarantined and wont make u take him out. U have done everything u should do and more. Document everything…when he has “better” things to do than visit his son, missed appointments, any abusive behavior at all toward u. Just have a notebook dedicated to that. He wont get custody. The lack of basic interest in ur son is more than enuf to ensure that
To gain custody, the other party has the burden of proof. Which means they have to prove that the child is endangered, not being cared for or at risk.
Make sure you document everything. Dates, times etc.
in most cases the mom has to be proven unfit to give custody to anyone else. By the sounds of it you are a supermom and love your child very much. If dad cant keep his emotions, abusiveness and manipulative ways out of his visits it is not in the child’s best interest to have visitation. Force dad to pay support. The child deserves atleast that. I would suggest going to court for support and document every visit with date.times and how the visit went. Note any times dad did not show up. Your child has a long road ahead and it needs to be as pleasant as possible. Your doing a great job mom. No need for you to worry about your parenting. Good luck <3
A good lawyer would trap him by asking him if he was able to deal with his sonSon’s medical condition. And then asking him to describe what dealing with that entails. The lawyers argument would then be how do you know if you’re ready to take on this child if you don’t know what that entails
The longer the child has been with one parent, the courts will sway to.
I went through this except my ex never did anything but abuse us (in every way you can imagine). Mediation was terrifying but he showed his true colors. I literally felt like throwing up and did in the parking lot before hand. Then I put a smile on my face, got there early, and was very polite, appropriate, and clear about what I wanted for our daughter and why and had documented things to back me up for over a year. Be prepared and be polite. I would state that hes only lived with you and because of his condition have his doc write a letter recommending he stay at your house where his immune system is used to and can’t be further compromised. Burden of proof also falls on him legally. Meaning he has to prove he’s better fit than you are to have him more than you. Not gonna happen. Best of luck but you got this.
I wouldn’t worry if I were you. He’s probably just all talk.
Depending on your state, some judges require the father to show that the mom is abusive in some way. With special conditions, it would be harder
For ur peace of mind, go to court and get custody. Make it so he can visit if he wants. I understand ur not doing this to be mean or controlling. The doctor will also write u a note. With his history with the child, it’s highly unlikely he would be granted full custody. Good luck to u all.
Venom take you the child is living with you and you’re being the child needs who’s all I really care about just had papers from doctors and such not of what you need and trust me you have no need to worry. My son’s father took me to court for smaller things than this and he never won
Relax and breathe. You’re a fantastic mom and if he’s willing to sign rights away, let him. Less for you to worry about and you can focus on your child and yourself 
Such a narcissist won’t win this battle. He even ignore his own lawyer. All signs show negatively, but make him take you to court. Even he shows this much lack of care, does he even wash his hands before touching the baby? Coming and going like that can have him catch something. Especially if he prefers hunting
It does not sound like the courts will take him from you, unless he MAJORLY steps up his game and even then, it would just be more visitation. He can’t sign away his rights, unless you let him, and don’t you dare. He can sign over custody but your son deserves child support, even if you feel you don’t need it… put it towards college.
Child services told my son and I when he was getting divorced that, the courts favored the mother in most cases. Unless she could be shown to be neglectful, unable to provide safe home life, or unwilling unable to keep gainful employment. Basically unfit. At least in our area. If your child has health issues and his doctor has recommended he be quarantined . Court will adhere to physicians request. If I might suggest though, I would ask that you have physicians office note in records everytime who is or isn’t present for office visits, all medical testing etc. Anytime you can have someone in a office, pharmacy, show that you are the parent providing daily care the better you will feel. If Your child’s Dad can’t prove anything against you I believe he doesn’t have a leg to stand on. Also the more incouraging you are in promoting a strong father child bond the better it reflects on you. Best of luck.
Not likely from my experience.
They RARELY take primary custody from a mother unless there is severe evidence of neglect. So he can want that all he wants, but to be safe, you should file court papers as the PRIMARY CUSTODIAL PARENT. That means the child lives with you the majority of the time. If you haven’t already done this, do it. Just in case he tries to pull something and file behind your back. This is just to protect yourself legally. Then, have all your ducks lined up in a row. Have letters from the Doctor stating the childs condition and what is needed (as in the quarantine guidelines). Sorry, you gotta protect yourself legally
In the courts. BOTH parents have EQUAL rights to their child/children. Child support is seperate. This is an issue I can’t imagine anyone being able to answer but a judge. Good luck and hope it works out for all of you. Especially the child. More and more fathers are getting primary custody. However, once you have established custody (child living with you for a certain amount of time) a judge is likely to leave them where they are.
Document EVERYTHING.
- I am so sorry that you have a child with an illness. I am certain this puts a strain on everyone. 2. Of course you will be worried going to Mediation. If you weren’t you wouldn’t be human. Just try to be as accurate and calm as possible. I know you believe this is personal it isn’t. The Mediator does not care about you or your child’s father. He/She is here for the child. If an agreement can’t be reached regarding visitation and support then the case will go to trial. 3. Document everything. I know going back over the last months are hard but, try to keep a timeline and then stick with it. Everyday write down in your journal how the child is doing, iIf the dad came to visit, if the dad spoke to the child on the phone, etc. Every single day not just on the days the dad is supposed to see the child. Good luck
All the above answers are good! But the lack of financial support is going to look bad for him! I don’t think you need to worry about not having full custody of your child. The Only reason he will give up his rights, is to Not pay support.
Narcsite.com parenting package . What normal empathic father would even consider taking a sick child from his only known home and parent? None. Only a narcissist bc it’s all about control. So you are freed from worrying about the fathers feelings bc he doesn’t experience the same feelings we do.
Keep texts call times visit dates all communication if possible anything you can bring to court ;”) you’ll be fine I’m sure sounds like it!!!
Depending on what state your in it is difficult to just up and take custody from a mother unless there is plain proof of abuse and drug use.
You have nothing to worry about. Rest in GODs grace. Truth will set you free.
Children are NOT pawns in relationships! Custody varies from state to state and have different requirements. Most judges give custody to mothers over fathers unless the mother is unable (various reasons) can not take care of children. Some one who does this for control (either sex) will face karma down the road. The parent who black balls the other is the loser in the end (with the ex and kids both). Attorney’s usually give the first consult FREE OF CHARGE, use it to get the answers for you in your state and predicament, since each case is different. Good Luck
Isn’t it amusing that suddenly bio father wants custody? Take a deep breath, he has to prove you an unfit mother and from what you have said, you are your baby’s primary caregiver. You have not denied him visitation and he’s not paying child support or monetarily contributing to his care. Document everything down to the smallest detail. Get diagnostic medical information from the baby’s pediatrician. Perhaps a letter from baby doc about the importance of quarantine due to the baby’s compromised immune system. That information will go a long way if this goes before a judge. Be over prepared and let bio father see the huge amount of documents you have to support your case. You’re a great mom, don’t worry just cover all the bases If bio father wants to sign away his rights, you’re not getting child support as is, let him. If you can make ends meet without him, do it. Trust me, you will never regret it. Good luck and keep your little angel healthy and happy.