Question for you other mamas out there! When it comes to finances and wanting to budget. Is it inappropriate to ask your partner to have access to his banking account and for him to have access to yours of course?
My husband and I have separate accounts. But I have access to his and he has access to mine if we need it. It works for us.
My partner and I are not married but have been together 10 years. We have separate accounts but complete access to each others.
I’m the bill payer.
You can ask. Many people share. Personally I have always had my own account, he had his, we shared costs and there were never secrets. But. We had our independence too. Esp if it came to buying gifts for each other…. Pointless if the other can pop online and see what you paid.
There seem to be as many ways to handle the finances as there are couples; everyone does it differently. My husband and I have joint accounts, and we access those as needed. I take care of paying bills. We are both sensible about money, so we don’t question each other’s withdrawls/expenditures, plus we usually mention when/what we purchased. Very large purchases are discussed before we go forward with them. It’s worked for 26 years so far.
Is it a spouse or is a partner? If it’s a spouse then no it’s not inappropriate. If it’s just a partner, it depends on the level of trust and commitment in the relationship. Joint accounts for household expenses is appropriate but you should also have your own separate accounts.
We split the bills. He pays mortgage I pay for other household utilities. As long as things are paid for we don’t care or ask what the other person is spending their money on. We could have added everything up and split down the middle but it was much easier to do it the way we do now.
We share a checking account that bills , expenses are paid from and we both have our own separate savings account. Would we let each other see it , absolutely.
I feel like maybe asking for a bank statement might be better? Allows you to see incoming and average expenses without having full access to moving or touching the money. Depends on your relationship though. Our household is separate bank accounts. I track due dates and when things are do and it’s a conversation of who’s got it. His paydays are the same and mine vary so it’s easier for us that way. Eventually we wants one joint account for just bills and we keep our personal money separate.
We have separate accounts and a joint account. We put about 75% of our paycheck in the joint account for bills/family necessities.
We’re not on each others personal accounts, but it’s more laziness than anything. We tell each other how much money we have when deciding who’s paying for lunch, movies etc.
I think this system is best for us since we both work full time. And we’ll never fight about unnecessary purchases when it’s technically our own money. (He would never let me buy a new pair of shoes every month, and I refuse to give up that luxury )
Been with my partner for ten ish years. Not married but have a child together. I’m a stay at home mom. And have not only access to his accounts but am on both of his… I pay the bills with his money. It’s our money. We’re a team!
We have a joint account that he doesn’t touch that my money goes into that I use for my spending. But I have access to his main account where all his money goes, and I use that to pay bills and buy groceries, whatever I need… I think it would be weird if you were married and didn’t share finances. But my husband likes being the provider.
I firmly believe in separate accounts, so not necessarily inappropriate but warrants a thorough discussion as to why. (I know you said budgeting, but being clear- not everyone has genuine intentions)
I am on both of my husband’s accounts and then I have my own account
I’d sit him down and tell him your intentions and what your planning on doing. You can always ask and he is always allowed to decline
My husband and I have separate accounts. We don’t have access to each other’s accounts. He pays all bills except for water and my car payment. I moved in with him after we got married so all the bills were already in his name, once my FIL passed away we moved into his home and just transferred everything except the electric- we just changed it into my name.
We have joint and we have his/her accounts. We both love it this way. But we are signatories on each-others accounts and if we wanted to, could log on and view each-others purchases……we don’t and if one of us did, it wouldn’t bother either of us. If you’re married, I don’t feel it’s inappropriate to ask, request period!!!
Not inappropriate but if you two don’t have a joint account already for the bills and budgeting then that needs to take place so the both of can transfer percentage of your pay into it. You can budget without viewing his account. Don’t you know how much he makes?
Should be done in four. My account, his account, bills account and savings account
Me and my partner have a shared bank account
I believe there should be a house account and each personal account. Jmo
If you’re married, then you should have access to each other’s accounts… but you must be on the same page with how money is valued… if the two of you do not have thr same financial goals, then keep them separate
Not all couples have the same system for finances. I’d be wondering why you’re asking for the info now. I’d be suspicious. If you’ve never had access before, why do you need it now?
We gave joint accounts and solo accounts, all wages money go into joint, bills r paid etc then we take money from joint n put into our solo to use for week, with a family with defaming if 3 kids x
First you say spouse, then partner, which is it, if your married, that should of been discussed beforehand. If it’s just a partner, then his bank account ain’t none of your business, and yours is none of his as long as you let it be that way. Sounds like y’all got communication problems.
No it is not. You are married and supposed to be a team.
Separate accounts as a married couple has always been a bizarre concept to me… my husband and I only have joint accounts for everything
My Husband and I joined accounts before we were married.
Tbh we have a joint account BUT we also discuss weekly our budget for things. Any big purchases we talk to each other about. That’s how it works. I think each should contribute to the account. I HATED being a SAHM because I hated spending money that I didn’t earn. But that’s just me. Also think 2 separate accounts & a joint is ok too. It’s whatever works for your relationship.
We do three. His account for spending. My account for spending and a joint account for bill paying. All accounts can be seen. Of course we’ve been married for 45 years so there’s not much information we hide from each other. If he’s got a side girl, she must work at Harbor Freight. LOL
Our bank accounts are in both names so that when one of us die the other can access the money.
Are you married or just playing house? If you’re not married keep everything seperate! 1 can drain the other while keeping their money for themselves. If it turns sour you can’t leave because you have no money. You have no legal entitlement to the others money.
If it wasn’t discussed before you tied the knot…I would say yes.
Joint accounts allow you to deal with finances when one of you is gone. Not a pleasant thought but realistic!
Everyone is different but I don’t get seperate accounts. We have a joint account. Both paychecks go in vills are paid. The amount we agreed on goes to savings. We buy groceries etc. Right now we do not spend more than $150.00 without discussing it. We don’t discuss who makes more etc… we are a team
Once you date me, nothing is a secret
I don’t need to have access to the money. But I’d like to check it out/split bills.
No, you should have individual ones, one for bills that you both can access and put money into for bills then a savers for the household. Wouldn’t do joint tbh, hard to deal with if you separate but an account to put bills in from each party
Nope I’m on the account so I just go to the atm and ask for account balances