Do you feel it’s the moms “duty” to keep family involved with your little one?
My “in laws” (were not married) would love to be involved on things, which I know is great!! But, why should I have to do all the work when they are his parents? My parents are not around so my mindset is to just do things, forever I had not had the mindset to check with anyone or invite anyone if that makes sense. Tbh I do not like them, so, that’s a whole different struggle. But imo it’s on him to be inviting his parents, if it were my family, I wouldn’t expect him to reach out to invite them to things. I do it when I remember or think of it in advance. But why is it all on mom to be including people?
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I don’t like calling people, talking to people, or being around people 
my family lives 12 hours away. So I kinda feel like I’m in a similar boat.
I usually ask my husband if HE wants to invite his family to what we are doing. If he doesn’t then oh well🤷🏽♀️
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you should invite them though just up to them if they come or not
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I don’t beg them to be involved but they know I don’t care if they come to the stuff they are doing. You want to come? Cool. I have noticed since we moved closer we see them about once a week now
When you’re married his family is yours. Tell your boyfriend it’s important to you and why you don’t feel like having to be the one to invite them all the time. Maybe talk to his family and let them know they are welcome to do things with you guys more often.
Tbh you sound petty. I wish I had in laws that gave even an ounce of shit about being invited to things.
Even though I am married I still find it to be his job to invite his own family not mine I also dont expect him to invite my family that would be on me
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I’m invite my “in laws” but I love them, but even if I didn’t it’s their grandchildren you should want them to have a good relationship since yours are not around
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You’re always going to get comments of “be grateful you have this”, “I wish i had this” pity parties.
If he’s not inviting His family, why should you have to do it all the time? When you have something planned, if you rememeber, let him know “you can text your parents if you want to invite them”, if he does he does if he doesn’t that’s on him. 🤷
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I invite my mother in law to just about everything except parent teacher conferences(we call to let the kids update her right after though) If family is welcome then my kids should have that support. She always comes softball games, music programs grandma is there cheering them on. I just shoot her a text like I do with my own grandma.
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You can throw shit out there. Like, “hey, were gonna be doing this for so and so if you guys wanna come.” But that’s not checking with people or begging anyone for anything. It is giving them the chance to be there if they want to though.
I have three kids under three. I totally understand the pressure to reach out to the in laws. It’s a rocky relationship at its best. And they always feel like we should bring the kids to see them even tho we all live within thirty minutes of each other. Why should I pack up three babies and take them to see people where there are no toys and nothing familiar? You wanna see them come see them. No one is stopping you. I just don’t feel like it should be all on us to make sure that happens
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If it’s something like events or occasions then yes I make the effort to invite everyone. Regardless of whose side it’s on.
But if it’s calling everyone up and seeing if they want us to bring the kids over, no I don’t. I invite everyone to events so no one feels left out but it’s just as much everyone’s effort to try to spend one on one time with our kids.
I agree, his responsibility to include them, however I do my best to include my in law family 
If they wanna see the kid(s), they can call or text you
If they wanna do stuff together to see the kid (s) more, they should plan it
I dont invite my parents or even my son’s dad or his parents around because it’s not my job to involve them in my son’s life.
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I don’t chase mine or his family to be around. Unless it’s her birthday or holidays. It’s not my job to make sure the extended family is a part of her life. So when they wonder why she doesn’t interact with them, or why she “doesn’t like” them, that’s not my fault. Everyone has a car/phone to come over or call and talk or face time whatever, I don’t drive. It’s easier for family to come to us rather than us go to several different houses.
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I do not force anyone to be around. I have family who hardly know my kids and my husbands side I gave up on with the exception of his grandma. My kids wanted to call my mil for her birthday so I let them she said she couldn’t answer to phone trouble but could text. I let her know she could call them back when she was able to and she never did. My daughter was so hurt and she is only 6 1/2. That is when I learned to give up. I didn’t even mention them for the holidays because I was not hurting my daughter again. Seriously be thankful that they WANT to be involved. It’s so much better for the kids.
I wouldnt force ppl to be involved with your child but if you have grandparents that wants to be…let them…and it doesnt have to be all the time but from someone who doesnt have any family that cares to go out of there way to see my kids and sad tht my bfs family are more interested in being apart of my kids lives…but thats how it is. You should be happy to want family involved…and it prob feels like its your 'duty’cuz you being mom prob have the plans or getting the plans for events or big days or small get togethers its not usually a mans. Every holiday i plan…i invite…and its usually just his family and im ok with it…with out his family stepping in for my other kids that arent mine n his they wouldnt have a grandma or anything like that. I was always a foster kid and dont have close family…family was always important to me but the only family my kids and i have is my bfs family…they are great. Be happy and enjoy having family that wants to be involved so many ppl struggle to force family to be. You should be thankful…i am.
I don’t Ming handling the guest list. It makes you look like a better person when you invite people. Especially if you dislike them
I don’t Ming handling the guest list. It makes you look like a better person when you invite people. Especially if you dislike them
But it is ok to do just you guys sometimes…and it is ok to not HAVE to invite them to ALL things…you can take time for just the 3 of you.
Your child’s grandparents you do it for the child sake!
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Nope- joint effort. But not really an issue for us since most of my husband’s family is out of state. As for his parents, his dad passed in 2003 and his mom’s house is a 16 hour drive so we visit when we can.
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Lordddddd. How can you be with someone when you don’t like their family? I tried that and wound up divorced.
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Tell him to invite them to this or that and if he doesn’t and they get upset, say oh well I told X to invite you. Make him accountable
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I send the dates and times of events to my kids grandma (their dad fell off the face of the earth apparently) but that’s it. I send the info once and if she shows great, if not, great. Minimal effort on my part but she can’t say she didn’t know
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Nope nope and nope. Anyone that wants to see my kids needs to make an effort.
Hubby’s family lives spread all over the province. Closest being his mom and step dad half hour away. My parents are down the block.
My parents get more time with our daughter simply because they are closer and CAN. However I try to encourage hubby to extend the invite when we do things or have time so she can see his side aswell. I will invite them as well, but usually I get on him to do it.
Family well always be family thank god for your family from the heart
Nope.
If you wanna be in my kids life, make the effort yourself. I’m not chasing down anyone.
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You chose to have a child with this man, even if it’s difficult you need to make the ever for your kid.
Honestly my husband doesn’t ever do the inviting. I do it because it’s easier. He does so much for me and our boys I don’t mind doing all the inviting. Most of his family lives out of town, but I always include them so they at least know we thought of them weather or not they can make it. Our families are each other’s families, but in marrying my husband his family is now my family. See my parents aren’t as involved in my boys lives as I would like. Most of the time my dad is to busy to make time, but I still make sure that he is included. My mom used to be very uninvolved, but she has really come around a lot more. I never really thought about why am I the one doing all the inviting with my in-laws, I just do it. I don’t know I don’t think it’s a big deal honestly.
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He needs to show a effort toward you to do helping you out.
I love my in laws, so… I might be biased when I say this. They’re not just his relatives… they’re your kids family too. Whether you have an issue with them or not (providing its not a hazard to anybody) you need to also make an effort to include them in some of your plans. Feel blessed they want that.
Of course you are allowed plans without them. And it shouldn’t be solely on you to include them. But that doesn’t mean its only his responsibility either.
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I love my in-laws, but I’m terrible at keeping in touch. Often my mother in law just checks in to see what’s happening, but my husband and I also share the “inclusion” duties.
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I’ve found it’s easier for me to work things out with my mother in law. When my husband gets involved, things get complicated and his plans make no sense
Well by saying they would love to be involved I say yes invite them. Being involved and invited to things are two different things. Asking how they are or to spend time with them is their job but to be invited to functions is your job. There are times I am the only one who knows about school stuff, off the schedule sports games, birthday party plans, etc that’s not fair to leave them out because they didn’t know to ask.
A mom’s “duty”…is keeping her kid alive…which means feeding, bathing, and educating the little food processors to not do stuff that’ll get them killed. That’s it in a nut shell. The rest of being a parent is allllll bonus. In-laws are family…and should be included as much as possible. As kids grow up…they’ll learn from everything their parents do. This includes interacting with difficult people. Just because it’s hard…doesn’t mean a parent shouldn’t take it on. Everything is an opportunity. If a parent decides not to include the in-laws…then that parent MUST be prepared to answer the child’s inevitable question…“Mom/Dad?..why don’t you like grandma/grandpa?”
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