My 5 1/2 almost six-year-old daughter has been acting out constantly, is this normal for her age? Or should I be worried that it might get worse as she gets older? My daughter is 5 1/2; her fav word right now is no! Literally, that’s her answer to almost everything I tell her to do. My wife and I are expecting another baby girl in December; we are getting excited and buying stuff, of course, for the new baby. I don’t know if this her acting out showing her jealousy or what. She has been the only child for five years, and now I feel like she thinks we are trying to replace her, “which we are not” (just adding to our little family.) She is starting to act out at school. Also, the past week, she has been having bad behavior or really handsy with other students her teacher mentioned. Could this be a sign of something? I’ve tried time outs, taking privileges away, taking toys away, etc. but does not seem to faze her. Has anyone gone through this? Any advice? “Please, NO negativity! “
each child is different, if you feel like it’s going to get worse do the best you can to nip it in the bud.
My daughter is 4 and we have a little girl due in December as well, mine is acting out as well. But we have been trying to include her in everything we do preparing for the new baby. Asking her opinions on when we buy stuff and even ask her if she wants to get the baby something.
The closer we get we keep reminding her that we love her so much and we won’t love the baby more than her. We also try to explain how the baby will take up some of our time, but we will always make time for her.
She could be feeling left out with the baby getting closer to the due date. And scared and even jealous. Just take some time and talk to her. They are smarter than we think.
She’s probably feeling left out. All your attention is focused on preparing for a new kid. Take time to show her she is still special
Yes and no. See a counselor she could have a underlying issue
It sounds normal to me, but if you’re really concerned you could talk to her pediatrician to see what they think.
It’s pretty normal. I have an only child and she is definitely in a stage of challenging both her dad and I. But in the up side she is great at school and when she is watched by others (which is rare). I have heard that when kids turn 6 it begins a rebellion stage. Maybe they are early. We take things away that she likes and give time outs. It’s not always fool proof but we do our best and try not to raise our voices. I know that’s not a solution but you are not alone and it’s normal.
It could be the new baby. Honestly, maybe she feels as if your not giving her attention which is the acting out part. Just include her. Make her feel apart of the baby too. And when the baby gets here have her help… let her pick out clothes, or have her help feed the baby. Stuff like that. If it continues, then maybe see your pedi… 
congratulations
Sounds like she is either upset over changes awaiting new baby or something at school is bothering her. At her age i would say it isnt like terrible twos… that is a time children usually get into the bossy and no stage. At 5 and if behavior has started over last several months would mean to me that something in her world changed causing her to begin the no’s and getting in trouble at school. I would stay on it and determine why she’s acting this way … without putting ideas in her head.
She might be getting jealous. Talk to her ask why she’s acting out. Keep her busy if you don’t already. Make sure you bring her a gift when you bring the baby home. I didn’t think of that my mil did.
Rephrase your questions into statements something’s are not nagotionable make her do things and follow through… and pick your battles follow through on important things and let go if the small things
I was with someone with kids and the kids was well behave for most part listen and did what was told well then. Their mom got vistion every other weekend the little girl started acting out real nad nothing work no grounding nothing was working it would make her act put that much more till i sit down and said so so this isnt u whats going on bully at school something here at home or ur moms whats going on then she told me her moms bf and her mom told her to act like her mom when she not home her mom bf was messing withh her she was only 9!!! She. And her mom allowed it!!! Needless to say report was filled and so so started act like her self again
Sit her down and ask what is bothering her!! Encourage her to talk to you!!!
My 6yo isn’t as bad, but “no” is a major part of her vocab as well. As far as the only child thing, from my experience, if you and your wife do something special just with her that is positive that she enjoys, that may help. Make sure it is something you can continue doing once the baby comes. She is just going thru the normal emotions of getting a sibling after all attention has been on her for years. So ask for her opinion on baby stuff, even if you don’t use it. She just wants to know yours still important to her. Still be consistent with whatever rules/discipline you use, so she doesn’t think you are rewarding bad behavior with a special activity. So be careful with the time you do it, too. I had to do this with my 3yo after my 1yo was born. It helped so much. We color every day, simple, but it means so much to him. His behavior slowly changed and he is so helpful and playful with his little sister now.
Try positive reinforcement. Catch her doing “nice/ good things”. I think positive reinforcement often works better because it concentrates attention on good behavior rather than on bad behavior. Try redirecting her when her behavior is inappropriate. Good luck. Being a good parent is not easy.
Every child is different. My son acted like this at 4 when i was pregnant with my second child.
In our case…
Everyone SWORE that it was just because of the upcoming change. Then SWORE it was just because of the new baby. I didn’t believe it. This went on until the “new baby” was 9 months old and i FINALLY got a doctor to listen to me.
We went and had him evaluated and he was shown to have ADHD and ODD. The symptoms were exasberated by the big change- yes. But not the root cause.
A few things that will work for any child…
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Make her feel included. Get her opinion on things.
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Get her a few new things while you’re getting for the baby
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Get her a baby/stuffed animal and let her take care of it (my son put his chase doll in a chest carrier…we set it up the right way and everything)
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Since she’s a big girl, start a rewards system with her. I LOVE economy rewards systems. My son’s behavior has improved so so so much with it. He pays even for basic privileges (toys t.v. tablet) BUT its only so he’ll do things like get dressed and eat his breakfast before he starts playing…because if he plays first it then is a struggle to get him to even get dressed. But he also has “extra” things. He can “pay” for sleepovers in our room (complete with movie, snacks, and later bedtime) he can save up a lot of tickets and “buy” a new toy. Its worked really well. Good attitude earns him extra tickets.
Usually if there’s an underlining issue you would have seen it before 5.5yrs old, so probably just acting out.
My kids are 5 years apart. So when I was pregnant with #2 we included the first child in every thing. He picked out the different shades of blue for the nursery and in which order they were going to be used. He help pick out cloth, linen and decorations. I also made a big deal about him helping me take care of the baby. They are 40s and late 30s and oldest is still very protective of ‘the baby’.
It’s just a phase she’ll grow out of it, I’ve raised 6 kids, 3 of which are girls, just have patience
She’s starting to test boundaries… very typical for that age! My daughter is six and I’ll tell her to do something, she’ll say “No”… to which I reply… “you don’t get to tell mommy no.” So she’ll spell no instead! 
just make sure she knows who’s the parent.
Good luck and i hope she gets helped and better
I have been dealing with a similar situation except my oldest is 4. It has gotten a little better now that our second son is here.
I have been dealing with a similar situation except my oldest is 4. It has gotten a little better now that our second son is here.
My daughter did. Its taken a good year for her to not show out bc of a new sibling . she was an only child for 7 years . hasent been easy and your not a bad mom… Shes gonna have to learn to share mommy 
Her world is changing and she knows it! Positive reinforcement my 3yr old is doing same thing and we are due in Jan I make special dates for us and let her know we love her all that!
Sounds like typical first born jealousy. Spend quality time with her, reassure her that she is still your daughter and that you love her just the same. Get her involved with preparing for the new baby, that will help her feel like she is part of it rather than just watching it happen.
Yea sounds like jealousy and feeling abandoned. Get her involved maybe take her shopping let her pick an outfit out for baby,maybe take her to a siblings class if the hospital offers it, maybe work on a craft and talk let her know shes allowed to have these feelings they’re normal but the way shes been acting on them is making it hard oh herself along with anyone around ask her what could help ease some of her discomfort. Congratulations on the new edition soon.
Sit her down, encourage her to talk to you. Sounds like she’s testing boundaries. Do positive reinforcement so any good thing she does praise her for it. Try a rewards/star chart at home maybe even at school too if she’s starting to act out there. Look up on Google or YouTube 123 magic parenting course it can work wonders.
I have a 5 year old girl and I just had my baby a week ago. I am gonna tell you it is completely normal. It isn’t gonna get easier though. Its a jealousy thing. Change is hard at that age. You just have to talk to her. Communicate and reassure her. Spend time with her and comfort her during this tough time. She will get through it.
She’s acting out most likely due to the new baby. Make her feel like apart of it. Talk to her. Have her touch mommies belly. Get her a baby dolly to get ready for a little sibling. Make sure ahe knows she isn’t being replaced. Have her help with things to get ready for the new baby. And when you have the baby, make sure to include her with helping with small things for the baby. When an only child becomes a big sister/brother, it is hard on them. And they don’t understand the feelings they develop especially when they’re so young. When my oldest was 3, an I became pregnant, he was an only child. Also the only grandchild on his dads side and the only grandchild that my parents got to see all the time. So it was hard for him. I made sure to talk to him about his soon to be little brother. I involved him. I got him a baby doll. So he could learn to be easy and nice. He carried that doll every where. I had him touch my stomach and talk to his brother. When we had his brother, he came to the hospital and spent time there to meet him and bond. He helped out with anything he could. Getting bottles. Helping me feed his brother. Getting diapers and wipes so i could change him. Covering him up. We let him sit next to us so he could hold his brother. Anything so he could be involved with him. We made sure he knew he wasn’t being replaced. But that our family was extending. We also took time to spend time with just him sometimes. He became so close with his brother. Their dad and I split when his brother was 5 months old. He was only 3. He wouldn’t go anywhere unless his brother was going too lol when it was time to go to dad’s, he would make sure his brother was going too. If he was going to his amas(that’s what they call my mom) he’d make sure hia brother was going too lol. They’re 8 and 11 now. And best friends. At home or their ama’s, they act like they’re gonna kill each other lol but when they’re any where else outside of being home, they’re best friends. My youngest struggled with going to kindegarten, because he’d never been away from family for a full day, so he was terrified, and my oldest walked him to class every day the entire year. And when he had a really ruff day, and was crying and struggling bad, his teacher would call my oldest sons teacher, and she’d send him to his class to give him a hug and talk to him to calm him down. And honestly, I think they’ve been that close because of how much I involved him in my pregnancy, with going to my doctor appointments and to the ultra sound to find out the gender, and when he was an infant. Because that’s when it started.
She could be acting out because of the new baby.
Any attention she gets even if it’s bad attention is her way of telling you, she needs your attention.
You might try positive reinforcement. Telling her things she does that you enjoy. Setting time aside for just her to play a board game, read a book.
Try to leave the new baby talk for after her bedtime.
My last kid is 7 and we’re expecting mid January. We let both our kids go baby shopping and help pick out stuff we also bought stuff for them when buying for baby so that way all attention isn’t focused on baby. We let them help us wash and sold baby stuff and even let them help us decor nursery. At first they were very reserved with the whole new baby idea but now they’re as eager as we are to meet their new sibling. Also we bought both kids presents so when baby arrives they will get those presents as big sisters rewards. Cause ppl tend to gift to newborn babies and the other kids get jealous so we combating that early. We don’t make them feel left out just included in everything and they have adjusted so well already
Sounds like she is having trouble with the new baby. There is so much preparation for the new baby she already feels lost and unneeded and not special at all.
My first 2 were 4 years apart. I included my son in everything. Picking out clothes. He would even read to the baby. He and his sister had a strong bond befor she was born. They are 26 and 30 now. They are still close. But I always made special time for him. Once a week he and I would have an outing together, just us. We would do something ‘little babies couldn’t do’.
My daughter (now 8 )behaved similarly when she was 5. I had to find Vera specific things to take away as punishment. For my daughter it was her “art” and/or a favorite movie/tv show. And I had to always follow thru with the threatened punishment (as listed above). She had to go to bed earlier because babies need sleep when fussy and since she was acting like one, she went to bed early, but also got lots of snuggles to know that she was still loved even tho she made some bad decisions. I found that mine was pushing boundaries. My advice is don’t let her. It does get better, at least it did for my daughter.
my daughter was labeled “spirited” and she went through almost the same as yours.
She grew out of it when she realized it wasn’t getting her anywhere.
Now she is a feisty, independent 20 year old with a heart of pure gold.
Take heart things change
Take your daughter to pick something out that would be from her for new baby. When baby arrives do it again and get something for mommy as well. Just keep her involved as much as possible right now and it should all work out.
It could be normal. But it could be a mix of jealousy and anxiety. The only way I can suggest to make it better is let her pick out stuff for her sister, when she gets here, let her be apart of everything. Reassure her that she is important and you love her without saying it. Depending on how y’all treated her before y’all found out y’all were expecting (like the baby, let her get away with a few things, or maybe it’s the same), she may get a vibe from that. She also could be feeding off y’all and maybe y’all are a little worried how everything will be afterwards. We made our son apart of everything. Let him go to ultrasounds, read books about becoming a big brother, and we just did everything we could to prepare him and he is the best big brother ever!! Just reassure her she is not getting replaced without saying it. Just tell her how amazing being a big sister is gonna be and all that! It will go fine!
More “her” time, more love and understanding less punishment.
I think it’s normal. Baby coming is probably making it worse. I think once baby is here she will fall in love and her behavior will get better.
This is normal she just having a hard time with her not being the center of you and your wife’s attention oh, maybe getting her involved with prepping for the baby, reminding her what a great big sister and help her she’s going to be my change her attitude toward a little bit , but it might not. Adults have bad days and deal with things and it’s venting or getting it off your chest but some people tend to forget and I don’t mean you that kids can only communicate and express themselves in ways that normal for their age which could be crying or Tantrums or whatever oh, obviously there needs to be boundaries but getting her involved in letting her know that none of this is changing the fact that the baby’s coming LOL good luck and congratulations
No advice, but our daughter just turned 6 last week & we have been going through the same thing. I understand completely & I sure hope it’s an age phase
Lots of love & reinforcement right now. Whenever you go to buy things for the baby, maybe you could get something for her.
If you feel it may be a little jealousy and insecurity, you may actually try buying something for her FROM the baby
Yes it is. She is 5. She is either looking for are ruin or something else.
My daughters are exactly 5 1/2 yrs apart. Hopefully the older one will snap out of her ways & take over the roll of “second mother” as they say. Mine protects & cares for her baby sister (they are 18 & 24 yrs now). They are best friends!
I recommend doing something just for her, and when baby comes let her help, will make her feel special and needed, and she will form a bond with the new baby as well!
Maybe she has anxiety about the new baby. Perhaps show more love and reassurance than punishment.
Its being 6…the age they think they’ve arrived. They usually have been to pre k or kindergarten and have been able to have some freedom and are trying to assert themselves. Just gently re initiate boundries.
She jealous and need reassure that she not being replaced. Be patient and encourage her to be nice.
Have her help you pick out baby things and let her get something for herself and ask her if she wants a. Big sister shirt
My husband and I have three girls that are all 4 1/2 years apart. My husband and I would take turns doing one on one dates with each of them to where ever they wanted to eat twice a month. This made it easier for each child as they knew it was just time for them and the baby stayed home with the other parent. That way they got both mom and dad time which I feel is important. We still try to make time for these dates and our kids are now 21, 16 & 12.
My little sisters favorite word was no at that age. My best suggestion is to ask her how she is feeling when she says no. Try to identify the reason for the no and fix it if possible
My daughter is almost 11 (right after Xmas) and she’s been acting out as long as I can remember (3?) Acting out at home and school. No matter what, she finds a kid she doesn’t like and makes it known and fights daily with her 15 month younger sister. I’ve tried a ton of things (therapist, medication, taking things away, earning things for good behavior, behavior chart, yelling at her, talking calmly to her) anyway what I have found that helps the most is her trying to earn something. If she has good behavior this whole school year and by good I mean not picking on one kid and it being brought up at conferences she earns a Dairy Queen cake (her choice). Also this summer she was earning daily books for each good behavior day (here we can get books for 10 cents at goodwills). Now that school started we switched it to earning a smoothie at a gas station once a week if she does good all week. She really works hard to earn it. Every kid is different. I wish I would have tried more when she was younger. I just thought it was normal kid behavior and she would cure herself but she hasn’t. So I advice you try to fix it now. Maybe it’s jealousy of the new baby, if so it might continue for years. The doctor we saw put her on anxiety pills. It’s not 100% fix but it does help.
Going through it currently. Our daughter and son are 5 years apart. Could be a million different things going on. If you’re truly concerned talk to your pediatrician. We did and they are helping us. Hang in there.
always remember ; spare the rod , spoil the child !!!
Get her involved with it and the baby every one the cor anyclothes as well
Maybe try involving her in some of the decisions. Emphasize that the new baby is HER sister. She’s going to be jealous, but I think putting her in a decision making role might help, that way she still feels in control. In her mind she probably feels like she’s losing her grasp on the control so she’ll act out because negative attention is better, in her mind, than no attention at all.
Get her involved with new baby projects. Shopping, putting the baby bed together, organizing baby stuff in baby’s room etc. Start taking up being the big sister. Look for a tshirt that says ‘I’m the big sister’. Give that to her at the hospital after the baby is born. Get a book or two about becoming big sister.
My daughter is now 5.5 and the last 6 months have been fairly miserable w her!! She has been so ungrateful and grouchy and hateful! Other parents w older daughters said it was a phase, so I just tried to love her thru it. And in the last couple of weeks, she has been absolutely amazing! The best manners, helping me all the time, helping her 3 yo brother. It is like a different kid. So hang in there! And she is stressed about the changes already made and can feel more coming. And when kids do not k ow what is coming, they feel out of control and that causes the acting out. I can only recommend talking to her, genuinely. They know when you’re not fully honest or confident!
talk to her. find out what is going on. Reassure her that she is still loved. And she will enjoy being a big sister. Have her help when mom is tired. She can rub mom’s feet or back. Get a pillow for mom. Do little things to help mom.
She is jeolous already…maybe u should give her more attention and have special play dates with her!! And when U buy things for the baby buy her a surprise too.also u need to tell her very often how special she is and how much u love her and that will never change.Good luck!
You need more time with her and don’t stop once the baby comes. Set a side something only you n her do NOW. And keep it up when sissy comes.
My 4 year old only child was great, until we added kids to the family. She began acting out A LOT. She is 8 now and still struggling. We didn’t catch it in time, assumed it was a phase of transition when really it was testing OUR response to her bad attitude/lying. If we’d have reacted quickly and harshly at age 4, I think it would be much easier than it is now!
My 5 almost 6 yr old daughter is the same way, she wass the most well behaved kid iv ever met then just changed. My mom said I was like that at 5 to. It may just be a phase
I had my son 2 months before my daughter turned 4. I just kept disciplining her and I’d also talk to her to help her understand why she shouldn’t act that way. I also tried to make sure every so often she has my full attention and things are about her for a little bit. She did super well in the beginning but now my son is 2 and she’ll be 6 in 3 weeks and we are having a bit of an attitude problem at home with not wanting to listen to me. Now I’m kind of thinking its just her age and she’s still adjusting to being at school every day all week she started kindergarten this school year. I try to help her through it and be understanding of what she goes through and how she feels.
Yes every pregnancy when I had kids close to each other I felt my toddler either felt unimportant or extra sick iam su pi or loving my never took on these envies . The older one remembers what the babies dont extra for the older ones
May sound stupid but my 5 year olds counselor is helping me learn to help her. Soooo, instead of time out…time in, maybe the fear of being replaced is real and causing anxiety instead of sending her away bring her closer make her TIME OUT to be close to you whatever you are doing put her time out chair near you…also, give her choices. You can do this or you can do that but you can’t do both the choice is yours and make her follow through with hee choice and that gives her more control or a feeling of control rather than you telling her what she can and can’t do. Let her make a few decisions for her new sister if that’s possible, what can it hurt? Anyway, just a few things I’ve learned. Sorry it’s such a long comment
I would involve her as much as possible with getting stuff for the new baby. Make her feel included so she see that she isn’t being replaced. Although she is acting out, it seems like she is seeking attention, whether it’s good or bad.
put a stop to it now, it will only get worse!
Normal? Yes. They dont know all the words to express feelings so they do what they know to get attention. She may be super excited about a new baby, but she doesnt have the faintest clue what to do with all of the excitement or what it means to “have a new baby”. I would encourage her to tell you the best way her little heart can, what she feels about a baby. Then let her know how important her role is going to be as a big sister. Let her help pick things out for baby too! 
congrats!!!
My 4 year old is doing this. I like to think it’s a phase and will pass
This is absolutely normal when you are about to have another child. They can tell everything is changing and it frightens them because they don’t know how to process their feelings it comes out as aggression and being slightly defiant. They want all the love and attention and now they are going to have to learn to share their parents. Good luck to you! I have three kids so I’ve been through it twice and they still act out when they feel as though one has more attention then the other it’s a tough balance
I haven’t read all the comments or anything, dont care to, what i have to say is this- she probably is jealous, but, BUT most little girls that age tend to fall in love with new babies and become great helpers to mom and dad. I think you will probably be alright- weather the storm now and see how it goes when the baby is born. But even so, afterwards make sure mom and dad both make “ME” time with the 5 yr old. And make it clear that the word “NO” coming from her is unnaceptable
Spank her ass , take controll , timeouts are not worth a shit , or she will rule both of you , you shape a sapling when it’s small, once it’s big you won’t bend it!!