Is it normal to grieve a miscarriage when you didn't know you were pregnant?

So back in July, July 20th I had a miscarriage while I was at work. I didn’t know that I was pregnant. Is it ridiculous that it still hurts even though I didn’t know. (I had mirena @ the time) Everytime it pops up in my mind I can’t help but bawl.


Yep it was part of u even if it was a short time

I would think so. You lost a piece of you and your partner. A small miracle that you carried in you even though you didn’t know. I’m sorry for your loss.


Yes, it was your baby!

You have every right to grieve for a lost child of yours

Yes, whether that little beginning of life was with you for a moment or a lifetime, it was, and of course would be grieved.

Yes. Regardless if you knew or not… that’s your baby. My heart hurts for you :heart:

Absolutely. So sorry for your loss. I still grieve for mine. BIG HUGS​:heart::heart::heart:

It’s been 7 years for me and still it hurts it’s completely normal tho

I’m sorry for your loss. Of course you lost part of you & your partner, you have every right to grieve that was your child.

Of course it is normal. You suffered a loss. My mom that’s 81 had two. She still at times talks about it and grieves about those lost babies.

Absolutely. I still grieve 20 years later for my 3.

Finding out that you’re pregnant is so emotional and at the same time you found out you are no longer pregnant. I imagine it would be a highly emotional situation. Cry it out and I am so sorry you are going through this.


Why do you need validation from people on Facebook, if that’s how you feel than that’s how you feel

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Of course it’s normal. Life begins at conception and you knowing about the baby or not knowing does NOT make him/her any less significant to your life.

It’s completely normal to mourn the loss of potential life whether you were aware of the pregnancy or not… you were aware of the loss and from that comes the grief.
I wish I could say it gets better, but, it does not. You just learn how to handle it better. ** I know that’s a rather asshole-y way to say it. But I’m not good at lying…

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5 months along - July 2016

I haven’t been here in a over a year
First time I’ve seen where I lost you
I still wonder…
what you would’ve looked like?
What you would’ve sounded like?
What would’ve made you laugh?
I think about…
How it would feel to love you?
How it would feel to see you be loved?
How things would be different if you were here?
I tried to be strong but In doing so all it did was weaken me… I tried to not feel the pain of losing you but in doing so all it did was kill me slowly… I tried to forget but in doing so all it did was imbed it in my memory.
I wish I would’ve known, I wish you were here, I wish I knew you… maybe you could’ve fixed it all, maybe you would’ve been the missing piece in all this disorder.
For all my life I’ll always wonder about you, I’ll always wonder what you could’ve been, I’ll always wonder who you would’ve been.
I hope to one day forgive myself for being so unaware… so unaware for not knowing I had you until I lost you.

I didn’t know… I was five months pregnant and had no idea… it’s a loss I’ll never get over.

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It seems like early miscarriage is not recognized but it still hurts.

I didn’t. Its usually just natural selection… a healthy way of discarding an abnormal pregnancy. Im ok with that.


I had a first trimester miscarriage. I was about 6 weeks along. I had a positive test and was so happy, but it just wasn’t the time. I still get sad when I think about it. It is completely normal to feel that way. You lost what was essentially your child no matter how anyone looks at it. But I am blessed to say that I am 34 weeks with my daughter now about to be a mamma again for the second time. :purple_heart:

Any loss is hard u.lost your baby.of course its gonna hurt u should consider seeing a grief counselor maybe that.will

Yes it is. Mine would be 18 now. I didn’t know and wasn’t ready for a baby but I still think and grieve.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that what you feel is wrong. You feel what you feel. There is no right or wrong.

A little person was loving you from the inside regardless of age or size…grieve all you need princess xx

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No one can tell you what is “ normal” in the grieving process. You take the time you need.

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Well yeah, it was a life that could have been. It’s a part of you, no matter how long it was there. I’m sorry for your loss sweetie

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It’s normal and in time people learn to deal with it better, but it never goes away. Just remember when kids do come, they are more important than the lost ones. They need you to be present for them or they grow up wondering what they did (when it was nothing) and that’s not what parents want for their children. Grieve and there is no time frame, just know it will get easier.

Why would you not feel that’s normal? That was a child. I still think about my ectopic pregnancy I carried for 2 months. That kid would have been 13 years old.

Completely normal, I’ve had 5 losses and one of them I didn’t know till it was already happening. For me it made me question myself “how did I not know?” “What did I do the past 5 weeks that made this happen?” Experiencing a loss is so damn difficult, no matter what point it happens during the pregnancy. One of the important things to remember is that reaching out to others that understand is important. Finding a place where you can grieve and vent and have people understand helps a great deal. There are a ton of groups on facebook that you can find, closed groups so if you arent comfortable talking about it on your personal page you can let it all out there.

Yes it’s normal!! All of your felling are valid and normal, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

Yes that is normal and sorry that happened,it happens to a lot of matter if you knew or not it still hurts:(

Of course, you should do whatever feels right to you. Doesn’t matter how far along, you lost a baby. I had four miscarriages. One if which I was almost 4 months Thankfully the others were fairly early Grieve all you want. Take a day or two or three and allow yourself to go thru the process if grieving.

I’ve never had one but I’d think its normal even if you didn’t know it’s still a loss


Absolutely! I’m so sorry! And don’t be afraid to reach out for support. So many women go through this, we have to be there for each other :heart:


So normal to grieve no matter what. I also had several miscarriages and it hurts no matter what, you had a life inside you then you didn’t, whether you knew it or not. :heart:

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A loss is a loss no matter if it was 4 weeks, 40 weeks, 4 years or 40 years. You absolutely allowed to feel about it


Of course… whether you knew at the time or not it’s still a loss…a life that may have lived. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling and I’m sorry for your loss. Please talk to family and friends about how you’re feeling.

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The same thing happened to me in feburary last year, I’m so sorry honey! :heart:

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I still grieve for my first baby. My 2nd pregnancy resulted in my 11 yr old son. And I have my 9 yr old daughter.

Completely normal. Hugs.

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Very normal. Hang in there.

It’s a loss
Prayers for your healing

I think it’s normal because you do know now. It’s normal to think about the what ifs, it’s normal to be sad and grieve. But if it gets to be too much, please seek some kind of professional help or support group. I know you may feel alone, but there are lots of women who have been in your situation and it can be helpful for talk or even just listen to others who can relate on a personal level.

Sure, it’s normal to grieve the loss of what might have been. I had 2 miscarriages, both around 8 weeks along, 9 and 8 years ago. There are still moments when I wonder what would have been. It comes up less and less as time goes on.

During the first miscarriage, I struggled with feeling like my body was betraying me. That was rough…

Yes I had 3 and I knew I was pregnant for 2 .

It is absolutely normal and healthy to grieve. Whether you knew at that time or not, you know now. A loss is a loss no matter how “big” it seemed. Take your time and be easy on yourself. :heart:

A mc is a mc whether u knew at that time or not…yes u can grieve

It’s more than okay, just because you didnt know you were pregnant doesnt mean it wasn’t a part of you. I had one when I was one month pregnant didnt know what I was having, but it was still a part of me regardless. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Its destroying for a time.

Not ridiculous at all. I hope you find healing.

Its a loss it ok to mourn what could have been even if it was unexpected or unplanned SORRY for your loss :frowning:

It’s normal it was a part of you and whether you knew at the time or not it’s normal. I had a mc, a still born then I had my daughter then another mc and I had my son. I’m grateful for my kids my I still wonder what they would be like how they would love me ect I love my kids but it makes you think

It’s definitely normal. That was part of you that you can’t get back.

Definitely normal. So sorry for your loss. :frowning:

Course… you valued the life that grew in you… you caused it as a life and child. I’m So sorry for your loss.

Aww yes it is. I was devastated and I only found out the day before

Very normal. Very much allowed. Be patient with yourself. Hang in there.

It’s ok you are
A human been with feelings it’s more then ok

Yes. You suffered a loss. Completely normal

I’ve had 3 that I didn’t know about until I was loosing them… It still hurts, I still think about when they would’ve been born, how old they’d be now, what they would’ve been like… 1 would’ve been born in April of 2004, 1 would’ve been born around December of 2007, & 1 would’ve been born in May of 2013… :pensive: It’s not ridiculous for it to still hurt, it’s perfectly normal…

Yes it is okay it happened to me too. Once you get over the shock of being pregnant you realize you loss a child that you wanted.

Just because your mind didn’t know, doesn’t mean your hormones didn’t know, it doesn’t mean your body didn’t experience that loss. It’s normal to grieve, and you are allowed to do so.

Absolutely. I had a miscarriage and had no idea until I saw it. I cried for years about it

Of course… I’m sorry, mourn the loss.

Yes 5 out of 8 I didn’t know about and I still greive

Yes ! It’s so normal! You lost a child. And the thought of that child’s potential life will always be with you. Prayers to you :heart:

My daughter had a miscarriage this past year and I watched how much it hurt her. I would’ve done anything to take that away for her. So yes it is definitely a loss even if you didn’t know beforehand that was still your baby and you would’ve done anything for them. Grieve for your loss because it is a loss. Prayers for you.

So sorry for your loss first of all. Yes it is Def normal sweetie, that was your baby & it’s totally ok to grieve for it. :broken_heart:

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It is very normal. My first miscarriage I was not feeling well so I took a test and it came out positive mind you I had my period just a few weeks prior. I started bleeding the next day and I went to the er. They did a blood test and said my levels were really low which meant I either miscarried or I just got pregnant. Went to the Dr the next day and my levels were basically nothing. They said they were at a 6 which was lower then the night before. So they deducted that what I thought was my period was actually me miscarrying. I had to go back in a few days later to make sure everything was out. It nearly killed me. I later found out that it was due to the drugs they gave me when I had an endoscopy done. If I had known I was pregnant I never would have had it done. I blame myself all the time. And it’s been almost 8 years now and it still hurts


Yes. It is only human to grieve for lost ones.

yes! and it takes time, day by day or night by night. think of it this way your body was doing what it needs to do for the fact that maybe something was wrong with that baby and nothing was going to help it or anything.

Of course it’s normal. I totally understand you. You are not alone. I would suggest you seek counseling or express it to your doctor. Therapy helped me understand that it wasnt my fault and there was nothing I couldve done. My doctor educated me about miscarriages that also helped me understand why it happens and the process of it. It made me feel better.

yes, my first pregnancy I had no clue about. I liked to rough house and was playing with a friend (was 19 at the time, gradurated already, still very childish) and they headbutted my stomach. didn’t think much of it, it hurt and went away. But a few days later the pain returned and gradually got worse. I was stay with said friend’s house with their parents. Their mother couldn’t stand to see me hurting so much, so I’m the day I was gritting my teeth with how bad it hurt, I have a very high tolerance for pain, she took me to the er. They took tests and things. They told me I was having a miscarriage. Not only was I Physically hurting, but then I was mentally hurting. that was in 2013. To this day, when I think about it, I cry.

Yes its normal to grieve the loss 2 of my 4 miscarriages happened that I didn’t know I was pregnant until I lost them they hurt just as much as the 2 I knew that I was pregnant with sorry for your loss

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Yes it is perfectly normal… afterall, you did lose a piece of you and your family, even if you didn’t know they were they it is still going to be both upseting and confusing as to why. Take your time, grieve and provess your loss. I am so very sorry :heart:

Try to remember that its mother nature of telling u that something is wrong and its not meant to be, i know your sad, but look on tbe bright side you can try again.


I lost mine almost 6 yrs ago…I still get pretty emotional over the thought. :cry:
The pain never leaves, it just gets easier to deal with.
Sending love to you girl :heart: hugs.

Yes they say it happens alot and some people never ever know

Yes , it will hurt for a while. Sorry for your loss.

you lost something that could have been…yea it’s normal. If it cont. seek a therapist

It’s normal to feel however you feel, but perhaps if you look at it differently, you can change that. If you believe in a higher power, then perhaps it wasn’t a baby you lost, perhaps it was sign that you want another child… or a first child?.. and it’s time to get your ducks in a row. Maybe it’s the baby you’re supposed to have trying to sneak in early, and when you decide to get pregnant on purpose, that’s the child you’ll actually have. It’s all about perspective. Change your thinking, change your heart. Or mourn if that’s what helps. The whole point of feeling something is to work through it. As long as you aren’t stuck, feel what you need to feel.

Yes. Whether you knew it was happening or not you still lost something special. You had a life growing inside of you. It’s completely normal to be upset about it.

It’s completely normal and okay. don’t let anyone tell you you shouldn’t be grieving over this because you didn’t know. I don’t care if you’re barely pregnant, 12 weeks along or 30 weeks along. A loss is a loss and don’t let anyone tell you different. With miscarriages or still-borns, a lot of the grief is because of what could have been. What you won’t get to experience with that child. Much love to you. I’m so sorry you are going through this.

Thank you ladies❤️ my fiance doesn’t really do emotion as easily as I do. So when I see the picture or something stirs it up I just… lose it. It makes me feel awkward or weird being the only one. We had just had my son 3 months before so there wasn’t time to go through it really.

Grief is normal hun. Condolences

Yes honey, perfectly normal, and I am so very, very sorry. I feel your pain in my own experiences and I wish I could take that pain away. But you can heal. You can. It wasn’t your fault at all, it just happens sometimes. I was angry, and mad at myself for no reason and couldnt talk to God for weeks. But:You take care of you, and do what you need to do to heal. Talk to your doctor, a therapist, a pastor or spiritual leader if you have one/want one. Family, friends. Whatever you need. And if you don’t want to discuss it, it is ok to tell people to stop bringing it up. I had to do that when I was halfway through my pregnancy with my rainbow baby. You’re going to be ok. You won’t forget but there is healing coming your way and you won’t be this miserable forever. I promise. Prayers, good vibes, and virtual hugs coming your way, sweetie.

Yes it is completely normal. I had a miscarriage in November of 2013. I had no idea I was pregnant until I was in the ER at 2 AM bleeding profusely. The physical pain was awful, I felt like I was dying, but the emotional pain ate at me. Every and each day of the pregnancies with my 2 sons (2014 and 2019) were filled with anxiety at every little twinge/pain/cramp, etc. Unlike the physical pain, the emotional pain stays like a scar. Do not feel bad for grieving and being sad. Just as I was told in 2013…”a miscarriage is life’s natural way of ending what would not have been viable.” It is also natural to grieve for a baby that was apart of us, whether we knew or not, our body knew. Hang in there, it will get better with time, I promise.