Is It Okay That My Granddaughters Would Rather Hang Out With Males Over Females?


“I’m 62 and raising my two granddaughters. They are 14 and 18 years old They keep telling me that it’s ok to hang out with males instead of females. They say that boys are more fun than girls. They tell me that I am old, and it’s not like it was when I was a teenager. I’m just old school. And I think it’s not right for girls to hang with boys. So who is right in this situation???”

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“Less drama hanging out with boys. Most of my friends were guys. I don’t see what’s wrong with it. Still to this day i connect more with guys then I do females. Like I said less drama.”

“I have female and guy friends. In college I hang more with guys because they were a lot less drama. Most of my female friends went to different schools. I had no sexual desire for them we were just friends.”

“My daughters – 17 year old twins – also hang out only with boys. The girls are tomboys and, when they did hang out with girls, had nothing but drama and headaches. The other girls also didn’t like playing the sports and doing the things my girls like to do. Since they’ve started hanging only with boys, there is no more drama, the girls are constantly busy playing baseball, swimming in the river, lacrosse, football, etc. They have good heads on their shoulders. You raised them right, so allow them the ability to choose.”

“This day in age, girls and boys mingle. I went through my entire teens with all boys, because they were fun. Girls wanted to get pedicures, do makeup and gossip at the mall… but the boys were out riding bikes and going swimming. The boys were just more fun, and there was no competition with them. They didn’t care what I wore, if my nails were done, what new haircut I had etc. They were just casual and had zero expectations of me other than to keep up!”

“Well one of them being 18, theirs nothing you can do to control them. My advice would be to get to know their friends! Invite them over for dinner or to hang out just to get to know them.”

“I have a 22-year-old granddaughter that , even as a young child, didn’t hang around with girls. She always said all they do is cause a lot if drama. She does have a few friends she is close to. She has always been a good girl and made good choices. But I get it on your part. We will always worry about their safety and well-being. Grandmothers feelings are the same with our grandchildren as they are with our kids.”

“I grew up around boys, and most of my closest friends growing up were boys. I was way more comfortable around them than I was with girls my age. I see nothing wrong with it. I agree that birth control is a good idea, regardless of whether they’re hanging out with boys or girls, but forbidding them to be friends with boys just because you’re “old school” will only cause issues for them or they will just do it behind your back. Trust them first.”

“If your concerned with the males they hang out with ask your granddaughters if it would be ok to meet these males so you can see for yourself why your granddaughters prefer to hang around them, it could be an issue of safety or it could be that your granddaughters find it difficult to make female friends, but you need to be having this conversation with your granddaughters.”

“They are gonna find a way to hang out with whoever they want no matter what you say. Put them on birth control, teach them how to be safe and that you will always be there for them if they need you no matter what. It’s better to be on their side and they are more likely to tell you the truth, and bring the friends around you, so you know what’s going on…”

“I’ve always got along better with boys my whole life. Girls were too much drama and mean. I say let them be as long as they are responsible!”

“If it concerns you meet them and see what kind of person they are, the 14 years old needs to respect you. But issue is you should set boundaries. Curfews and no boys in bedrooms. Try to trust them. Good luck there lucky to have you. My mother passed I was seventeen it was very hard time for me. I had a male best friend and I married young. Wish I’d waited.”

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I’m 56 and so I used to feel much as you do. Raising 3 kids (2 boys and a girl) mostly on my own opened my eyes to a great many things. My oldest, a boy, much preferred the company of girls, especially from middle school onwards. The other 2 are more rough and tumble and preferred the company of the guys. I made sure that my house was one that they all felt comfortable hanging out at and that I met all my kids friends and most of their parents. There were a few ground rules: no closed bedroom doors, anyone and everyone was welcome at our table and no bigotry, racism or sexism was allowed. Politics and Religion could only be discussed if it was kept civil, otherwise any topic was on the table subject to my veto . I still hear from a good number of those kids, all in their late 20’s to mid 30’s and many with kids of their own. None were scarred by the experience.