I have a question if you can keep me anonymous. I’ve been dating this man for a month after I got out of a 5 year abusive relationship. He treats me so good I’m not even used to it. it’s so different to me but in a good way. anyways we’ve worked together for almost two years and we’re great friends till I ended things with my ex. we’ve been together for a month and both decided we want to get married within 7 to 8 months is being engaged this early on a bad idea or if it’s something we both want doesn’t it really matter what anyone things?
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I’d wait, especially given your past relationship. Take your time.
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I think it’s way too soon after being in an abusive relationship do that long. I say this as someone who has been in an abusive relationship before. He may be great and you may have been friends before but being in a relationship is different. I would keep dating for awhile and make sure no red flags pop up or anything. Better to be safe than sorry. I’m in a domestic violence support group and so many women on there talk about how they dated right after leaving one abusive man to then turnaround and find themselves with another abusive man.
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wife and I went on first date on labour day weekend,married in december
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Coming from an abusive relationship, is it possible that anything would seem better than what you had? People have so many different personalities, and his work persona versus his actual persona could be quite different. Get engaged if you must, but hold off on rushing the marriage. Find yourself first and enjoy life for a while.
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You’re right, it doesn’t matter what others think. But that’s irrelevant to your question. Ultimately, if you’re going to be together forever why rush into the marriage? Get engaged, be happy, enjoy that time and don’t rush it. Rushing could potentially be a bad idea. I don’t see a downside to waiting a bit for marriage.
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I’d wait, what harm would waiting do?
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I was given the best advice when I was too young to fully appreciate it
You shouldn’t marry a person until you know them fully and you don’t really know a person until you’ve dated them for 5 years
Get engaged is a bit soon but not too bad … but don’t get married for at least a yr or more … after being treated shitty you think the world of anyone who’s nice to you because your used to the abuse… I myself have thought the world of ppl before who in retrospect didn’t deserve it , I was just used to being treated shitty …hope this helps and best wishes
Way too soon. I did precisely what you did but jumping into a new relationship. Got engaged after a month and all I can say is thank goodness I never married that man. The abuse was horrific
I would take your time. But really it’s all up to you and how you feel. Always trust your gut. But sometimes that doesn’t even work lol. Or you can be engaged for a long time as well.
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I got engaged to my husband after 9 months, I was also a senior in high school. We’ve been together almost 11 years now, will be married 10 in September of this year. When you know, you know.
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Definitely wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. If it’s right, waiting won’t hurt anything. You want to have time to learn about eachother and all their habits, likes, dislikes, future goals etc.
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Everyone is different and every relationship is different. But considering the last relationship you had I’d wait and while and focus more on yourself before jumping into something really serious.
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I would wait at least a year or so , they say it takes a least 2 years to know somebody well. Most new relationships are good, . So why not wait and see, yes you have been good friends , but wait and see how it’s works out in a relationship. Before , making marriage commitment… like I said I would wait at least a year to year and a half.
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I’d say it’s not too early to be engaged but I would push the wedding out 2 years. As that gives enough time to settle into your new relationship as well as deal with your trauma from the previous relationship. I honestly don’t think their is any set time frame for these things but I do know that trauma needs to be healed in order to survive something better
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 I think this is a group full of women who want other women to just be single and unhappy. The same women telling you to wait are probably the same women that are the type to just say “leave him, now” whenever the situation becomes hard. I think it could either be really good, or really bad. There are people that have met and got married instantly and have lasted for years and there’s also people that have regretted it. But life is way too short and I think you should do whatever makes you happy. 
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Since you just came out of a 5 year abusive relationship I think you really should take time to heal first and really get to know this person before getting so serious. It takes quite awhile before you truly know someone. There’s no need to rush.
Ok, I’m probably going to be the odd person out here, but yeah… my husband & i got married a month after we got together. My family wasn’t too crazy about the idea, like to the point I told my mom either be happy that I’m happy or dont come to the wedding. We’re still together 7 years later, we’vehad our ups & downs, but still going strong. Time isn’t a measurement of love, & sometimes when you know, you just know. There are people who have been together 12 years, finally got married then divorced within 2 years. Dont let other’s standards define your relationship.
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I was married to my ex for 7 years. It turned pretty abusive. After we separated I didn’t even talk to another guy for 12 months and when I did start dating it was only casual. I met someone who I actually like 7 months ago (18 months after seperation) we are good and steady but I can’t even bring myself to say love you because love hurt me so badly last time. I know I’m probably at the opposite end but getting married very fast to my ex (4 months of dating) I think was a way for him to lock me in before his awfulness started to show.
Please be careful ooxx
My hubs and I got married a month after dating and it was the best decision we ever made well be together for 4 years the end of this month
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Way too soon. This is the honeymoon phase. Everything is exciting, new, and you want to be around each other as much as possible. In fact, it’s so euphoric, you may not be seeing things clearly
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I was in a very similar situation. My now husband who I met at work became my best friend. He was the one who was there for me when I split from my ex after he beat me and my son. When my husband and I started dating we were engaged within 5 months. We’ve been together for almost 7 years and still going strong. Sometimes the best thing of your life happens after the worst mistake of your life… if you feel like it is worth it, go for it!
Too soon I think but sometimes it works for people and sometimes it dont.but just coming out of a bad relationship I wouldn’t rush it in my opinion.
I got engaged after a month but waited 18 months for the wedding. It’s definitely possible to know the difference. Don’t rush into the wedding. A decent one takes a while to plan anyway.
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My parents dated for 8 months before getting engaged. They celebrate 35 years this year. So it totally depends on your relationship.
There’s no timeline for a relationship. It’s whatever you feel is right for you. As long as you feel okay about it that’s all that matters.
Its the honeymoon phase. Of course its going great. What’s the hurry? Also how will HR view your relationship is something to think about. Also if it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks, why are you asking what people think?
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I got engaged 2 weeks after starting to date and got married 4 months later. We’re fixing to celebrate our 8 year anniversary. When you know you know
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I say do what feels right to you. It’s your life, not anyone else’s to decide if it’s too soon or not.
Every man and woman seem to do a change after about 6 months to a year and that’s really when you start seeing the real them coming out sometimes it’s good sometimes it’s bad don’t do it yet
It depends on the person and the couple. My husband and I got engaged after a month and married 5 months later. Been married for 13 years now. If you truly love and care about each other go for it
Now hubby of 7 years met and in that week we knew we wanted to get engaged and married quickly. Both second marriages. When you know, you know. All the best.
I knew my husband a month and a half ,before we got married,it lasted 17 years ,until he passed away
It’s not about the time it’s what you go through. That said I’d give it 18 months. After the1st year things change, and I am happy in my relationship. However after 2 years of being together I am still learning things about him. Also my dad’s advice on marriage: see them mad, see them discouraged, see them drunk.
Get engaged but wait on the marriage and before you get married answer these questions
I knew when I got with my husband he was my forever. Together in 16’ engaged in 17’ married in 19’. When you know you know.
You are on the rebound. You should have spent the year working on yourself and why/how you got into an abusive relationship in the first place. Take a step back and get into therapy and meditation.
Live with yourself. You should learn to be completely self sufficient before jumping into another relationship.
After that, take it very slowly. You are likely rebounding and are loving all the ways this guy is not like your ex. But he may have other bad traits that make him just as bad.
How is he around kids? How is he under work stress? How is he under personal stress? What makes him really mad and what typical maddening behavior is he OK dealing with?
How did his previous relationships end? What did he learn from them? How are his finances? Does he plan for the future or does money burn a hole in his pocket? What are his assets and investments? What are yours? How will you each handle money? This is the biggest issue by far for couples.
Does he want to go back to school and get a degree or multiple degrees? If so, would he continue working? How about you? Would you expect him to support you while youpursuing more education?
Does he want to travel a lot? To where and for how long and how soon? Does he eventually want a boat, motorcycles or other big “toys”? Retirement is going to cost big bucks. Will you be able to save enough?
Do you have any activities you enjoy in common? Does he have any collections or obsessions (video games, Star Wars, baseball, hunting)? How will he feel about your clothes collection in “his” closet? Your face and body care and makeup items all over “his” bathroom? Does he leave whiskers in the sink or never clean the tub?
Please don’t get married for at least two years, preferably three. You need time for his demons to come out, and for him to see yours. Those cute things he does could turn into annoyances. And DON’T EVEN THINK about changing him. You either love him warts and all, as-is, or you break up.
When the honeymoon phase ends does he just want to sit at home while you want to go out (or vice versa)? Is he a slob and you’re a neatnik or the reverse? Does he make noises while he eats or snore at night? Things that seem endearing or that you can overlook now could turn into big annoyances later.
What’s his cleaning (home, self, clothes, sheets and towels) schedule? Can he cook things besides eggs and spaghetti? How much alcohol does he drink in a week? Is he a careful driver? Do you agree on children, politics, religion? If you have kids, how would you each want to raise them? Discipline? Views on athletics, music, what if kids are handicapped? LGBTQ? Any fertility problems? Would you adopt a child of another race? Do you agree on what’s fun in the bedroom? How likely are either of you to get bored with that?
Be VERY careful. You are extremely vulnerable right now and ripe for exploitation, even if you feel like you’re finally free.
Hubby and I got together 1month after divorce we have been together 21 yrs this yr.
I dated my husband for 6 months before we got married. We were engaged after 3 months. This year we will celebrate our 30th anniversary. Sometimes you just know.
You should never rush into another relationship let alone get married.
The fact you’re questioning it, makes me think you already know the answer to this question….
My husband and I got married a month after dating and it will be 34 years in October that we have been married. You will know when you find the one.
I met my husband in April of 2012 got engaged May 2013 married January 2014 been married 10 years I don’t think it’s early
My mum and dad was married after 9 months and was married for 40 years till my mum sadly passed away
If the relationship is meant to be, waiting a year at least won’t hurt. Why rush?
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Bad idea never again it’s not worth it
Date for a while. It takes some time to actually know someone !
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Just have a looooooomg engagement.
It’s your life your choice
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If you feel like you have to ask strangers on Facebook if it’s too soon, maybe it’s too soon. Why rush? If you wanna be together, just be together
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Look back on your abusive relationship to when you were dating for only a month. How did he treat you? I bet it didn’t start out abusive. He waited until you were emotionally invested. Right? Sounds like this new guy is making plans too early to get you to feel deeper than you would otherwise. Slow down. Date him for YEARS not weeks before you even think about marriage. Tell him you want to be together longer. If he has a negative reaction, forceful then you know he’s trying to get you to think this relationship is more than it is.
Yes. Its a bad idea . don’t jump into something because of the past. You don’t know anyone that quickly. Take your time.
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I knew my husband for a month when we got engaged and got married a year later. It will be 33 years married on May 5th( Friday). I guess when you know you know. Depends on age also.
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I got engaged after 6 months with my sons father 
Find yourself. Have fun. Date him for awhile.
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There’s a song about that…fools rush in where angels fear to tread…
I knew my husband casually (he was my daughter’s softball coach) for two years before we started dating. He asked me to marry him three months into the relationship. I was a little gun-shy at first, but we were married a year and a half later, after I divorced my abusive husband. We’ve been together for almost 26 years, married for 24. He is a kind man. Not just to me, but to everyone. If he treats everyone well, from the boss to the boy behind the counter at the 7-11, and you feel that the friendship that you have is a good foundation for a relationship, then I wish you all the luck in the world.
The two of you do what the two of you think is best for the two of you and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise!
I’ve been married to my husband for 5 years. He worked with my best friends husband. I met him when we all went out to celebrate her birthday. I thought there was going to be a bunch of people, it ended up being just the 4 of us. My best friend and her husband were trying to set us up. He knew, I didn’t. We all drank and carried on, had fun. About two weeks later, he messaged me on Facebook. We messaged for about 2 weeks and then went out. We started dating May 6th. We got married less than 2 months later on July 2nd. Everyone thought we were crazy. Last year, he legally adopted my youngest two children and I’m almost positive that my family loves him more than they love me.
All of this came shortly after a 3 years long extremely toxic and abusive relationship that ended with a restraining order, therapy and swearing off dating.
So don’t let anyone set your timeline for you!
…my husband and I started talking in February, engaged in May, pregnant in July, married in September…and we’re still together. So I mean 
You want to marry a man in the next 7 to 8 months that you’ve only been dating for a month? You literally just got out of a 5 year abusive relationship you need to to heal yourself before jumping into another relationship.
My opinion is don’t ask complete strangers how to live your life, people had bets my marriage wouldn’t last most ll of them divorced now and were going on 25 years
I was in a abusive relationship for 12 years, got out of it… met my now husband 8 months later, we talked for 2 months before deciding to call it a thing, Aug 22nd when he ask me to be his girlfriend… December 23rd he ask me to marry him… May 28th the following year we got married and are still going strong almost 13 years.
I knew my husband about 3 weeks before we moved in together dated a while, got engaged, pregnant and celebrating 4 yrs this July
Love bombing is a real thing so please take your time
We got engaged before a month and married 33 years. John Duane Wright I’m thankful for you