Is it possible to rebuild trust in a relationship?

Is it possible to regain trust after it’s gone in a relationship? All my trust is gone in him due to his lying and him saying he’ll do this and that and never sticks to his word. I am 37 weeks pregnant with his child and I’m just exhausted at this point with all of it. A part of me says to let it go, but a part of me wants it to work…even if I could regain some trust, I’m sure it won’t be the same. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it possible to rebuild trust in a relationship?

It’s possible be here has to be willing to change if not there’s no point

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Personally …No, i dont think it is, my own experience taught me that no matter how much you love that person and want it to work, it doesn’t because the doubt is always there like a monkey on your back…I spent 16 years with someone who i gave multiple chances to and I could never move past the “but what if”… i mentally, emotionally and physically drained myself to the point of exhaustion trying to make it work

I wouldn’t be making life altering decisions at 37 weeks pregnant like leaving the father… Focus on enjoying your baby and see how he is after the birth… Now isn’t the time to leave him.

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The only way trust can be regained…
It has to be earned

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In my experience a liar rarely changes and it’s something I hate. I used to say to my ex partner that I’d cope with the truth any day over lies. You don’t say what he lies about? Maybe seeing the baby will make him a better man. But if that doesn’t change him I’d cut my losses and leave. Good luck :crossed_fingers: x

Just like the beginning of any relationship they go from strangers to earning trust with time and actions.
Trust becomes broken in a formed relationship it’s the same concept… Only time and actions will speak the volumes and regain the trust

Pregnancy is an eye opening experience, only topped by having a new baby to take care of. You’ll realize fairly quickly if you’re better off doing it alone or not.
Keep in mind your hormones are top notch right now. If you’re in a safe environment then I’d wait to see how it plays out.
However.
If his behavior is untoward or makes you feel unworthy then I’d suggest staying with someone else to keep calm and have support.

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What does he lie about? Also, I would wait until after the baby until you make any decisions

No it will never be the same, but yes you can rebuild and make things work. It takes hard work and BOTH people have to TRULY want it.

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I wuzz in a no trust marriage for 25+ years. I think you have to move on and be happy, live for no regretts. I never expected anything, but got no trust, No Trust is a deal breaker, you have it or you don’t, move on, get financial planning…God Bless, Tell us how it turns out…

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Highly doubtful… if they are not making extreme steps to do better… get out now.

Honestly kinda need a bit more context. Cause like is he lieing about sleeping with other girls or is he saying he’s gonna put y’all’s new grill together this weekend for the last 2 months? Cause those are very different situations that could easily fit within the post

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Your 37 weeks pregnant. Your crazy right now and will be not in a normal mindset for at least a couple months. What is he lying about? As for taking forever to do something you asked him to. That’s pretty normal. And he’s probably freaking in his own way. Not sure what he’s lying about but you sound hormonal so it wouldn’t matter why he did you’d be pissed off right now. Your fat your tired your body is done. You hate your clothes you have people you hate everything. Don’t let your hormones wreck your life. After the baby is about 5 months old your hormones will
Level out. Walking around your house being mad because he didn’t do something or BecaOse there is a stick on the stairs or someone didn’t flush the toilet.
Reality is not a pregnant woman’s friend at the beginning and at the end even after pushing.
I’ve had seven babies. And half the time o couldn’t believe I was upset about what o was upset about. Give yourself a break. If this is your first kid. Go relax somewhere for a few days alone. Recharge. Labour takes a lot out of you and you seem to be obsessed with what he’s doing wrong. Why does he lie? Because he wants to go have a beer with the guys and you can’t so he lies instead of making you mad he can have fun and you can’t. Life ain’t fair honey. WAIT

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It can happen but takes time

Give your hormones a chance to settle down

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A lier doesn’t change , and a kid will not fix that .
What is the point to be with someone you do not trust , stay with him will only make your life MISERABLE .

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You should probably have a discussion with him. I hit a point in my marriage where I became unhappy for 2 years I didn’t communicate with my husband things got bad. We almost called it quits after 13 years but we decided to set some rules to talk things out to communicate spend more time together. How things around the house should be. Set boundaries. We did recently have a baby though. So things are a little rough. But try communicating before leaving.

I’m going to say this my ex who is my 4 month olds dad lied to me about stuff when I was pregnant and even before and it never changed after I had the baby and we just broke up 3 weeks to a month ago

Yup he says, he will do this and do that unfortunately that’s what us men do… Every women on the planet as been promised by the partner that he will repair the door or shelf etc… And tbh 5 years later its still not done… Then he’s acussed of being lazy…
Its just how things are,

Rule of thumb: don’t make any major decisions while very pregnant. (Unless of course your safety is at risk) Revisit this thought in 6-ish months.

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When trust is gone, no reason to stay because the past will always linger in the back of your mind

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Question: Is he still lying or is he actively trying to regain your trust? He must earn your trust over time. If he continues lying, then there’s nothing to rebuild.

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In my experiences, no, trust is very hard to rebuild after lost, you will always be wondering if they are lying or will do as they say.

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Yes it is it takes true real forgiveness and not holding anything against a person

I think it depends on what he’s “lying” about.

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Only you can really answer that question. In the end, though, when you forgive, it means you let it all go. You don’t bring it up, you don’t use it as leverage, you literally let it all go and start fresh. And only you can decide if that’s something you want to do.

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Let it go and move on once a liar always a liar

Not following through and lying are different things. My ex didn’t do anything, didn’t follow through with anything, didn’t do anything with our daughter. Current boyfriend had some inability to follow through. I told him it was over by x date then. He made good on it. I don’t have to ask him to do things around the house because he sees that they need done. But if it’s something I need help with, I have to ask and if it’s not a right then thing, if he doesn’t write it down I have to remind him because he forgets.

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Yes, it’s very possible

Ive been there. In my case no. I def tried. In hindsight I was trying for the kids/fam tho not cause i wanted him

I do think it’s possible but both ppl have to be 100% invested and willing to put the work in. Whoever broke the trust needs to own it and be patient while the other works through it.

I will say most cheaters probably won’t change. I have seen a cpl relationships come back from infidelity stronger than ever but it’s rare and takes a lot of work.

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Yes!! It can be earned back but it’s going to take a lot of work and adjusting on his end. You will have to forgive all the things that broke that trust if you want to make it work. But it’s going to take him working hard and actually showing you that he wants you to trust him again.

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Unfortunately once the trust is broken it’s almost impossible to get it back again. That what if will always be in the back of your head.

In my opinion yes and no…it takes a lot to forgive or forget even if they do earn it your trust back…my ex/kids father from 5 years ago to this day even though i have forgiven nor are together anymore i have issues trusting to this day cause all the shitty things from cheating lying to me mentally and verbally abusing me all the time and for that one time he laid hands on me…once all that trust is gone its very very hard to come back…i still have issues trusting him to this day even though now we have a pretty great relationship and are friends…

It is completely possible, but takes a lot of time, work and commitment from both people involved.

Once you loose trust you might as well send him packing. It will NEVER be the same ad will always leave you wondering!

It’s possible if you both really want the relationship. It’s a lot of hard work. It takes counseling in most cases. It will be really hard for you not to wonder what he’s up to. Don’t do it just for the kids. When it blows up in your face, it will be especially ugly. Do it for the two of you. Or don’t do it at all. See what he wants. He may not see the need for the hard work, and he may see working to earn your trust back as groveling. If that’s the case, it’s probably not worth it.

Trust is a tricky subject. As you said if you do regain it, it’s never the same. Then, if you ever lose it again, I doubt it will ever return. Is he trying to regain your trust, or is he still doing whatever it is that caused it to be lost in the first place? Or is he in the middle. I HATE the middle. Where they’re trying but also have areas where they just can’t seem to get it together and then you’re in the position of feeling like “well they’re trying” but at the same time you’re like “this is still a big issue and it’s not being addressed” See, tricky.
I’m not saying it can’t be regained, but it takes a lot of work on his end and a lot of forgiveness on your end. It is up to you with how much you’re willing to accept and / or let go of.

Once the trust is broken it is able to rebuild some but never to to the full extent.

It goes along with cheating to . It’s never brought back.

It depends on the situation. I would sit down with him and have a serious talk. If he is willing to truly work on his lying and reliability then maybe it’s possible but he needs to want to work on it and work on your relationship together. If he is not willing or refuses to put in any effort then sadly the relationship won’t last.

It depends if he is the type of guy to give reassurance whenever you need it. My husband broke my trust a few times but gives me tons of reassurance…

If he cheated a lot of people will say yes but I have never experienced this to be true unfortunately… pretty likely it will happen again

Personal experience! Yes it can be earned back! However it takes alot of work on both parties!! Depends how much both of you want to work on it! You will have alot of questions and bad days and the other party will have to be understanding of this! If both work very hard and both are understanding you then you will be able to work past it :heart: i wish you the best if you both are willing! If not i wish you the best is your future journey :purple_heart::purple_heart: