Is it selfish to only have one kid?

Is it selfish of me to only have one kid? People around me are telling me that I am because my daughter (3 year old) is asking for a sibling - people are making me feel guilty saying that one day when me and her dad are gone she’ll be alone if I don’t give her a sibling and that ”only child syndrome” is going to mess her up, basically and that she’ll resent me for not having a sibling like a lot of other kids. I love my daughter beyond words and there’s no really reason why I couldn’t have another kid (I know I could love another kid, financial be okay, etc.) but I just don’t think I want to.


I am a proud member of the one and done club. My daughter is 15 and is very happy being an only child.


Never feel guilty my daughter was an only child for 6 years and I never planned on having more kids after her and believe me she asked for a bother or a sister for years. I am pregnant now and she is super excited but if you feel full and happy with your little you are doing amazing and what you believe is best for you and your little.

I love kids but you know what’s best for you. Do what you want its your life.

One and done here! Do what’s best for you and the one you already have. :heart::heart:🫶🏾

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You do you! It’s none of their business!

I’m an only child and never wished for siblings. My daughter was an only child until she was 8. She loves her brother now, but I know from personal experience having a sibling(s) doesn’t mean lasting relationships. Don’t be guilted into something you don’t want. You’re an awesome mama!


Heck no!! You do what’s best for you!!

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I’m an only child & honestly I don’t resent my parents at all for not having anymore kids. My childhood would of been completely different if they had more kids. There is pros and cons to the situation. Also now I have 5 kids of my own & my kids are my parents only grandchildren which I love cause I wouldn’t get the same support I do now from my parents if I had a sibling. At the end of the day you do what’s best for you :heart:

People did this to my husband and I all the time when we were younger. It always made me feel really upset & uncomfortable. I had to have my tubes tied when she was 4, for medical reasons and when she got to be about 7 I seriously started regretting not having more when I could though.

No it’s not. I have one and she is 13. Honestly, she and I had complications after her birth so I have never been able to get pregnant again. When she was little she would tell us she doesn’t want a brother or sister and that she loves being the only child. By only having her my husband and I have been able to do so much with her like taking trips. Don’t worry about what others say or their opinions. :heart:

I think its smart to have one.

I have one who is almost 20 and she is perfectly fine being the only child.


My daughter is 4 and I’m one and done. She is awsome.
Don’t need another

I don’t think it’s selfish, nor do I think it’s anyone else’s business. People shouldn’t be trying to guilt trip you into it either. I personally wanted my children to have siblings, but can also understand why others are one and done.


No ones business!!! You are giving her a good life. Friends will become the family that you chose and she will love them too!!

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If you only want one, then just have one. Forget what everyone says. It’s not their body, life, finances, or family.
Your daughter will be fine.
My biggest transition was from one to two (I have 4) and it’s HARD! of course I love them all beyond words but there is nothing wrong with one (or none, or 8!). Its a personal choice that only you should make.

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I don’t feel like it’s selfish at all if you only want one child! It’s your family. You get to decide how many you have!


I have one. She is almost 6. I’m content with just one. I had a very very traumatic delivery and very scared to do it again. My husband wants another. But I don’t think I can. Do what’s best for you. It’s your body. It’s your feelings.

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Nobody else’s business. Do what’s best for you and your family.

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My daughter y fine being an only child

My girl turns 25 tomorrow. She is a well rounded person. Don’t let people tell you it’s selfish for her to be an only child.

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Alot of people say that but no it’s not selfish at all …it’s all in what you want and then some people may o ly be able to have one so people really should t say anything really.

My daughter is 7 and people keep asking if we’re having another. The answer is no. She’s a great kid and I don’t want to do it all over again.


You’re not selfish. I know every family is different but I have two siblings, one that I don’t speak to and another that I hardly ever see. Siblings aren’t always close. Don’t let anyone pressure you into having another child if you don’t want one.


My daughter is 5 and started asking around 4 and I started to feel bad but my mom said when school starts she’ll make friends and she’s got plenty of cousins.

I only have one child myself because it was not in the cards for me to have more than one after my marriage fell apart

Ultimately, it’s YOUR choice. It is lonely being an only child when you’re small, but in the teen years, not so much

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I am practically an only child as my older sister & younger brother dnt talk to me. I’m the black sheep of the family, so having more than 1 ain’t necessarily going to work either.


I’m an only child and suffer the syndrome… It sucks… Both of my parents also have passed away and I went at it alone when I so badly wished a had a sibling to lean on during those times


I only have one. And I don’t think people should be doing that.


As someone with 3 siblings, having them doesn’t guarantee any relationship with them. I have (and only want) 1 child. Siblings grow up and have families of their own that they worry about. Sure it can be nice to have siblings but rest assured that your child can and will live a life full of family even when you two are gone.


I have 1 daughter and we are not having anymore. It is not selfish

It’s not selfish at all…that being said, I’m an only child. I have no family other than my Mom, and a few Aunts and Uncles and a handful of cousins. I longed for a larger family but it wasn’t in the cards for my parents. I decided at a young age I didn’t want kids…then when I found out I was pregnant I knew that I didn’t want my child to be an only child :woman_shrugging:t4: You have to do what you think is good for you, no one can make that decision for you :two_hearts:


I have one and am probably done, too. We haven’t fully/officially decided, but we’re both 39 and ours is only 16 months…and she’s a great kid, but even a great toddler is still a toddler lol. If we wanted her to have a sibling it would have to happen sooner rather than later due to our/my age, and neither of us wants to do it all over again right now.
There’s also no guarantee that siblings will be close, especially when they’re older. My situation is weird – I have two sisters, but they’re both older than me (15 years, 8 years). I grew up with the one who’s 8 years older, but she moved out at 18 when I was only 10. None of us are close…hell, my oldest sister doesn’t even spell my name right lol. Even though I’m technically not an only child, I feel like one. Instead, I have a best friend who’s been like my sister for more than 20 years now. I’m closer to her than I am to either of my actual sisters.

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Having a sibling is no guarantee that your children will have each other once you are gone.I speak from experience…my younger brother was killed in an accident caused by a drunk driver. He died 6 months before my mom. Fortunately my dad lived for several more years before he passed. Now it’s just me and my family with my husband and our children

No, it’s not selfish at all! You will be the one raising the child, so it’s no one else’s concern. I completely understand the guilt feeling, as my child asks too. Even my childs pediatrician asked me several times (not if but when*) I’d be having another, which I felt was inappropriate.

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There is absolutely nothing wrong with having one child. Don’t let people guilt you Into doing something


I always just wanted one. I got my one and done.

No it’s not selfish at all! However many kids you have is no one’s business. Sometimes mothers can have such a hard labour that they can’t go through it again. It’s no one’s business but your own and your an amazing mama to your little girl already :blush:

No it’s not selfish.
You have your reasons for one child only and you don’t need to explain those reasons or defend those reasons to anyone.


Tell them to **** off, are you married, single, …live your life per your lifestyle…I only had 1 but I was a single mom. She is fine but we have a big family,.and she has alot of cousins around her age.

It’s your decision and no you aren’t selfish


You should have another kid because you want another kid, not because you want to give your child a sibling. If you don’t want another that’s perfectly acceptable.

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No one’s business you do you

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U may not want to have another kid but they are such blessings. I’d have another

Do not feel quilty the choice is yours absolutely nothing wrong with having one child

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It’s not selfish !!! They can have all the kids they want , it’s not one business how many kids you want to have, if you want one more in the future that will be fine , if you do not , that will be fine as well

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It’s not selfish. It’s your decision!

Your choice mind their own business

So what if it is? You have the right to live your life on your terms. Please do yourself a favor and stop being concerned with the opinions of people who don’t have to live with the results of your choices.

Girl no, don’t listen to other people. I have one, 3.5 year old. One and done. I will not be made for feel guilty for not having another and you shouldn’t either. I didn’t grow up with my brothers so I was practically and only child myself, and I don’t resent my parents for not giving me a little sister or brother.

One and done :white_check_mark: for me. If people minded their own business about what women do with their reproductive organs, the world would be a better place. It’s not selfish :heart:

If you only want one only have one.

I think it’s weird af to be that concerned about a grown woman’s life and personal choices honestly. It’s absolutely not selfish in any way shape or form and it’s definitely not going to harm your kid to be an only child. I would just tell your daughter When she asks for a sibling “maybe one day”
It’s hot body and your life. If someone doesn’t like your choices they fen f**k off :blush:

If your happy and fulfilled with only having one child then why would you have another? To appease other people? That would be silly wouldn’t it? There are pros and cons to have only one or having multiple children either way you look at it, although it should be a decision solely between you and your partner upon careful consideration.

Why do you care what people think? It’s your life, live it how you want. At the end of the day you are responsible for those little lives.

I have two daughters and I constantly get asked if I’ll try for the boy and my oldest daughter even asks me for a baby brother sometimes and with that being said I don’t think it’s selfish to not want to have another baby no matter who asks you do what YOU think is best

Do what you want and ignore the negativity!! Pros and cons each way…I’m the middle child and I’ve had times where my brother and sister have bailed me out of jams and I’m forever grateful. My daughter was an only child for 11 years and loved it. So now I have a 9 year old with two 19 year old sisters…her dad’s daughter and mine…she hates not having someone her age to play with and I get it…my sister was too young and my brother was too old so I was often alone. We didn’t become close till adulthood.

It’s not selfish at all. My son is an only child. Some days it breaks my heart but its not safe for me to have another baby so the choice was pretty much taken from me.

BUT even if a child has a sibling that doesn’t mean shit to be honest. I have 2 siblings and I haven’t spoken to one of them in 5 years. The other one probably 2 years. So having a sibling doesn’t always mean anything

Nope. Selfish would be having a second child just to quell your discomfort with social pressure. Tell the intrusive jerks to mind their own business.

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Are those other people going to raise the new baby? You could love another baby. You could afford another baby. But there’s also all the mental, emotional and physical strain that comes with a 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc child.

People always want to have an opinion on when someone else should have a child or have another child. If you don’t want to, then don’t. When you and your daughters father are gone, she will have her own family. She will have aunts, uncles, cousins, their families, friends.

As for your daughter asking for a sibling, at 3 years old, she doesn’t know what that means. If you’re open to another child, but unsure, give it a few years. Wait until she’s older and then ask her how she’d feel about a sibling. Or don’t. There’s nothing wrong with being an only child.

its your reason so its ok . i will tell you from my perspective as the only child, Im 35 and now more then ever I wish I had siblings. my kids have no aunts or uncles, no cousins and i don’t have that special someone to share all family nonsense with. this was a huge reason for me to have 3. but its your life, your decisions

I only had one, wanted more but wasn’t to be. Despite having lots of friends growing up I know he was often lonely. However, although my husband and I are both close to our siblings there’s no guarantee. I have friends whose kids all hate each other, even into adulthood and it brings a lot of tension. So there is no right or wrong. Just make sure there’s lots of friends and try to make your home the go to place for the kids. It will help give her balance and best friends to share secrets with.

The way the world is set up and headed rn it’s not selfish!!

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I had an only child (not by choice) - she had 6 children - Said she was so lonely without siblings. Just saying . . .

Nah, stick to your guns. Tell those people to mind their own business. Your body and your decision around having more children is not up for discussion. Shut it down.

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I always wanted another kid but I will say this I’m dealing with the teenager years right now and let me tell you it’s not for the weak lol. I do not want another kid at this point I would love another one but I don’t think I’ll be able to do this over again. When he was younger it was easy honestly but these teenage years are making me want to run away from home lol.

I’m not an only child and got three sisters and none of us talk for a lot of reasons. I would love to be around my sisters but for a lot reasons I will not.

Stop listening to other people

I have an 11 year then 1 year age gap. Basically I had an only child then 2 kids. I got all the same comments with my first. There’s some truth to it. But you cant guarantee that after your gone your kids will stick together. Their lives can send them in different directions. They may go years, decades without ever even talking to each other. I know I was closer to my oldest, I spent more time with him. I had nobody distracting me. My other 2 can not stand me paying attention to 1 of them. They interrupt, drawing me away from the other etc. They fight a lot. Not anything close to the peaceful life I had with 1 child. You need to do what’s right for you. If you have a close relationship with your daughter & want that to continue I wouldn’t add another child.

If you even have more children doesn’t guarantee that your child will have siblings in the long run.

My husband and I had our son at the very beginning of our relationship. He has some behavioral issues so we decided for a long time we only wanted one. With age my son has got better with his behavior and we decided that we wanted another one. I now have a almost 7 month old and a 12 year old. It is rough starting over again but my son is the best big brother. Just because you don’t think you want another one now doesn’t mean maybe in the future. Maybe you will maybe you won’t. One other thing that kept me from having another child is when my son was three I lost my brother which was my only sibling. I didn’t want my son to ever feel that pain. Whatever you decide should be best for your family. Screw everyone else.

Having a sibling would definitely enrich your child’s life but if your content with one, then just have one. It’s your body & you have to be the pregnant one & mother so whatever you feel right in doing, then do so. Don’t base it on peer pressure or what you think other people think you should do for the betterment of mankind. You are the on that had to put forth all the WORK & LABOR of being “MAMA” the hell with everyone else talk to your husband and see what he thinks, then decide, it’s ok to just have one & done!

What!!! How amazing for one child to have all of your love and attention, and time. Get her a dog if you think she isn’t coping…And tell people to mind their own business. The world is completely overpopulated anyhow.

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I once had a conversation with another mom who only wanted one child. She said, “You have to know your own limits and my limit is one child.” That has stuck with me and I use the line all of the time when people ask if we’re having more kids. My limit is 2. Whether they were the same gender or not, my limit was always 2. It’s nobody else’s decision but your own. You’re doing what is best for you and your family……not for what other people think is best. :sparkling_heart:

Better for the earth not to overpopulate.
I’m an only child and I’m happy, well adjusted, very independent and turned out fine.

I have a very small family, but lots of friends who are like family, so I got to choose my support system instead of being stuck with blood relatives.

Just don’t spoil her or be a helicopter parent.

And there’s no guarantee siblings will get along either—they might fight, hate or resent each other.

Don’t listen to them. She’ll have other connections. Cousins, Spouses, In-Laws, Friends, etc. Siblings are nice, but not necessary. If all you want is one then dont let them bully you into a second.

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I had only planned on having one. 11 years later I got a surprise… which I wouldn’t change for the world… but having children is your choice not any one else’s. Don’t let any one pressure you into having more kids. It’s a choice for you and your SO to make.

That’s ultimately a personal decision. My mom was an only child and she always said she wished she had siblings cuz at times it’s lonely being the only child.

One Child is fine. My ONLY CHILD is 29. He is a great young man. Happy, Sucessful etc. He has cousins, friends! You have to do what works BEST for you. It’s your choice!!

You do you! Don’t let people tell you what you want.

Whoever is telling you that needs to stop. It’s your body and if you don’t want to have another one, don’t. And believe me, sometimes having a sibling is not all It’s cracked up to be.

No, it’s not selfish. Let’s move beyond this idea that women exist only to pump out enough kids to satisfy everyone. You are whole on your own.
Your only child will grow up loved and then decide for herself what kind of family she wants for herself.

It’s whatever you want. Stop worrying about what other people say or think. I only have one child, so happy I didn’t have more. Being a single mom I was able to provide for her and myself and live a comfortable life. Had no help from her father. If I had more kids, I probably would have struggled.

F*ck what other ppl say. It’s not selfish of you to have however many kids you’d like. Whoever is telling you that is not worthy to be apart of your life. Sounds like they have issues of their own to deal with. How does that saying go… those who matter don’t mind and those that don’t matter will mind. Something along those lines.

All that really matters is your a good Mama to the little one you have.

It’s not selfish. There are plenty of options for friends, cousins, etc.

For the love of everything, don’t have another kid just bc people are telling you it’s a bad idea to just have one. Who cares what they think. Kids are expensive, and at times , soul sucking. Make sure she has lots of friends and only have another kid if it’s what you want.

My daughters 12 and keeps asking for a sibling. Though I do want another one, I’m still in no hurry to have another. For a long time I said I wasn’t going to have anymore, no eventually it would be nice to have another one.

My mother was an only child. I am an only child and so is my son. What “only child” syndrome??? I think it all depends on how you are raised. As for having no family/siblings as you get older, I have several very close friends (male and female) who are as good, or better, than family. Especially when I hear of some of the family drama that goes on. My life is complete the way it is.

It’s selfish of others to project their expectations onto you. And it’s definitely not up to your child to tell you to have another child in the family.

Eh, I doubt she will resent you. You have to want another one.

My daughter is 7 and I wished she have a sibling. Because of my age I couldn’t. I hope I can adopt a sibling for her. But from my niece who is 25 she said, it sucks being the only child, it’s lonely. I will do it in a heartbeat for my daughter but health wise, I can’t

U dont want to dont let anyone make u feel quilty they arent raising the child

It’s nobody’s business period,

I wish my mom only had me, not selfish at all.
Jk about my wish, but man, fuck those guilt trippers. It’s your :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: body, not theirs. If they want more kids let them you don’t need to have another kid because your daughter is asking for one :roll_eyes:

How many kids you have is absolutely no one’s business. Tell them to kick rocks.