Is it selfish to want a break when you are a mother?

Men know nothing about being a mom. A day to yourself isn’t like you’re abandoning your family. And it doesn’t mean you don’t love them. You just need a day off. I bet he takes his days off from his job with zero guilt. Nobody feels guilty about taking a day off from a job, despite loving it. He needs to realize that anyone can get burnout from over doing it. If you want, you both should maybe take a day together, just the two of you and find a sitter.

2 Likes

Absolutely NOT selfish!!! And the fact that he has said such a thing makes hima. Complete @$$…self care is very much important. Dont ask your husband, tell him you’re going out!! Or send them out with him. Take time for you, you cant water the garden with an empty bucket!!

Screw him and his guilt trip. You 1000000% deserve some time to yourself! You’re not just a mom, wife, and caregiver. You’re a person too!

Does he have time away from his family responsibilities? I’m sure that he does. So for him to say that his him trying to guilt and manipulate you to see it his way. That’s straight bs. Everyone needs time to think focus and not have the whole world relying on them. I would tell him that you are going wherever and he’s on Dad duty. He should be fully capable of handling things. They are all old enough that minimal supervision should be required.

1 Like

No, how are you supposed to pour from an empty cup

Need a new husband. Wow. Course you need time for self care. For you. Being a stay at home mum doesn’t mean no time to be yourself and if your partner doesn’t get that, I’d really be considering whether to be with that person.

Oh my god those kids and your husband are all old enough to fend for themselves for a day, no your not being selfish , go have fun husband will get over it.

4 Likes

I break and cry all the time !! It is good for you

Everyone needs time to recharge

Your husband is gaslighting you. You have every right to have a day off, more than once. You should have time every week. Since the kids are school age hopefully they are self sufficient to a degree. Forget about everything and go shop, lunch with friends, take a yoga class a couple of times a week. You are in control of your life regardless of this man who wants to keep you in your cage.

Girl. You absolutely need a you day. He isn’t a mother n is apparently clueless!!!

No its not selfish every mother needs a break weather is a couple of hours or a day you need to take care of yourself and your health and your wellbeing and your husband should relate to this the fact that he doesn’t is shocking and disgusting can a family member look after the kids if he won’t… self care is very important to reset for you and the kids xx

No you need it and the kids are big. Your husband is selfish he then has to look after the kids and thats why he doesn’t want you to have a break

Not being selfish. Everyone needs a break. I’m a single mom and recently my 13 year old told me to take a night away. I did for first time in 13 years on my 45 birthday. Of course I called her 3 times

No it is not being selfish. You need to take care of ur wellbeing physically, mentally to take care of ur family. Smh. Ur husband is being very unreasonable. And don’t listen to him when he says u don’t care about ur kids. That’s mental, verbal abuse. Just like ur children n niece, you need to take care of urself. N time to ur self helps alot. Even a few hours. Ur not just one thing. You’re a woman. A parent. A wife. Friend. Family. Ur the centre of it All, of course u need time for urself. I hope u can get it too. It’s a tough job.

They are old enough to fend for themselves. Take your day and tell ur husband to shove it

That’s ok let him say that you’re selfish as long as he’s watching those kids while you get some time alone .

1 Like

Omg. I bet he nicks off whenever he wants too without a second glance. Being stuck at home all day everyday is just soul sucking. You need to get out, clear your head, get back in touch with yourself. It’s your life too.

All moms need a break to rethink regroup rest pamper herself something I’ve been in that kind of relationship in the past you’re not selfish

He’s the selfish one
All mothers deserve a break

Totally normal to want time for yourself and acceptable. A few hours or even a day at least once a month is not selfish and I would demand that or the 16 and 14 years old are more than old enough(barring medical diagnosis that alter ability) to watch themselves and the 11 year old for that time

You go girl. Your husband needs time with them.

Sounds like you need your “break” from hubby way worse than the one you DESERVE from full time parenting, make it happen

11 Likes

16yr old can look after herself the 13yr old can watch the 11yr old and as for your husband who cares just go :joy::joy:

Shame on your husband. I bet he gets to do whatever he wants when he wants. Just get up on a Saturday or Sunday and tell all of them that you are going out for the day. Schedule a Mani/Pedi and massage and enjoy. Those kids and your man child are self sufficient

Hell no it ain’t selfish!

He’s being a jerk.
It’s NOT selfish to need YOU time. What’s HIS excuse?

Not selfish at all. It’s healthy and important. I go out here and there alone myself because I need the break. I’ve been home the last 4 years being a full time mom. I feel guilty at times yes, but I can’t afford to work until she’s in school so those few hours few times a month is my only way to collect myself. I am entirely a mom and caregiver/homemaker whatever you wanna call it and I don’t regret it one bit but I am also a woman and a person too. I lost myself a few years ago and I look forward to working or having a day off while kids are at school. I don’t know who I am anymore and I carry no shame In trying to get closer to that woman I was so if having some solid “me” time is enough to bring me back so I can be good for them and myself then I need it. It’s medicine for the soul.

don’t ever let him tell you that you’re selfish for that. He should take a minute to walk in your shoes.

You should get a break and kiss those ages definitely entertain themselves so it’s not like he’s left with little kids to care for. Run away for a weekend even.

Nope. You mandate that time for yourself. Your husband can eat s h i t.

They are old enough to do for themselves and especially your husband. He is the selfish one. You are asking for 1 day

5 Likes

Nah !!! You are not asking for a year , you are asking for a damn day , you deserve it and most importantly you NEED IT !!! Even a weekend for just it’s not selfish .
They are all grown, you do not need their permission and they do not need constant supervision.
Go ahead and take a day for you , do not even ask

They’re literally old enough to be alone for the day AND your husband is more than capable of watching them…just do it

Uh, does he get to go out and have time to himself? Does he stay with the kids as often as you? If he gets a break then you sure as heck are entitled to one too

It’s definitely not selfish. Your kids and husband are old enough to care for themselves for the day i wouldn’t say anything just leave a note and saying I’ll be back sometime today.

No offense but what a jerk

Dude my husband gives me the money to go spend time and energy on myself because it gives me an energy reset. Your husband is severely insecure and afraid of something or is doing something

Selfish prick bet he goes out. Everyone needs me time

Coming from a mom that never gets a back and has anywhere from 2 to 7 kids everyday all day no its not you have to take care of yourself physically and mentally to take care of your kids one day I’ll get a break and before someone comes after me 3 of the kids are not mine but they are so I don’t want to hear you shouldn’t of had seven kids. I wasn’t going to let these kids go to the system

I bet he gets time to himself.

Working parents get days off from work, as should stay at home parents. Taking care of a family and household all day IS our job, we just don’t get paid for it. Having teenagers though does actually make it easier than chasing toddlers around all day. Maybe have the kids help him pick up the slack for a day and go do a few things for yourself. Things not getting done perfectly for a day won’t hurt anything and you deserve your day off from your usual daily routine just as much as a working parent would deserve a day off work every so often.

They are old enough to look after themselves for you to go out and do something alone.

Just do it and see how he gets on !!

Hell no! You need a break. Cant pour from an empty cup. Very selfish of your husband to say that. He should be supportive of you getting time to yourself and should help make it happen!

No ur not selfish at all!
However sounds like u need to thro the whole husband away n get a better one.

You cannot pour from an empty cup you need to reset and regroup to be able to assist your family take care of you to be able to take care of your family

Your husbands ignorant.
Everybody needs a break at some point. Burn out is super real

That bull shit if you think you need it find a way to do it

What a jerk! Tell him to stY with them one dY and give you a well deserved break

1 Like

They’re old enough to fend for themselves for one damn day. Make your plans then make the announcement and you’re husband is a :pig:

He’s selfish for not thinking you need time alone. If he gets it why can’t you?

It is absolutely not selfish. You can’t pour from an empty cup!!

Why do you need to talk to your husband? Unless there’s special needs, you are in a position where the kids are old enough you should be able to do that. They need to learn to occupy themselves and clean up after themselves, get along with no referee, stuff that will help prepare them for you know… Life

I believe he’s the selfish one!!!

You need to recharge and take care of yourself or you won’t be good for anyone

Oh wow, l would say he is the one being selfish.

Jesus! Does he have days to himself? Cause you deserve a break. Wow, what a jerk comment

Your husband sounds like a manipulative dick

Your husband is a dick. End of story

Everyone needs time for their self!!!

No it’s not selfish but we are made to think that it’s being selfish…. I am a mother of 3 13,2,6m and I have 3 step daughters 21,20,9 the 9 year old visits the whole summer, Christmas break so right now I have 4 kids full time on top of working 37hrs a week at home while caring for the kids and house. But this momma don’t get any time away. Can’t even get my brows done :weary:

Mothers don’t get breaks. Your break is 18 years later. Your child can’t completely take care of themselves.

Bin the man and have a spa day

Huh huh.hes tge selfish one.you need the timeout once in awhile.ask him 2 fill in your shoes for a day or a week.see if he can juggle the house hold, children n still have time 4 you.

Wrong your husband is the one being selfish.i hope you are not asking him for a day you tell him on next (insert day ) you will be taking off to get your nails done and maybe some shopping a nice quiet lunch and than that morning get up get ready to leave and just go

Sad to say I love just getting out to get groceries by myself is great. I get my hair done and love the quiet… I walk daily by myself just to put music in my ears to just relax with the music or audio book. Heck I even volunteer to mow our yard, put music in my ear or an audio book while mowing the yard, they all leave me alone :laughing: while mowing because they know if they distract me, they will have to do it.

No you not wrong they are GROWN now I have the same question and mine are 2 & 3? Any advice

My fiance booked me a massage appointment and paid for it because he knows I need time to myself. Don’t let your husband tell you that you can’t take some time alone.

It’s never ever selfish to want a break you’re still human!! And your children etc are teenagers so that is the time to start being able to have abit more freedom! We need time for ourselves to recharge but how dare he say it’s selfish!

Omg…we all need alone time…

It’s not one bit selfish. I’ve had almost 7 years of no break.

More info needed tbh. Who’s neice? Is it his or yours? You have the right to time to yourself but does he get any outside of work?

They are old enough to stay home alone for the day.

Sounds like your husband is a jerk … of course you deserve a break - time to yourself when you don’t have to worry about all those momma responsibilities

F that BS. I’m a mom to 3 boys between 11 and 16. And guess what?!? Tomorrow? I’m not cooking my kids dinner because I’m dumping all 3 with their dad to go see Shania Twain. You’re a mother and a wife, yes. But you’re also an individual person under all that with interests and hobbies and passions. Go take some time to recharge your batteries. Go to lunch with your best friend and get a mani pedi after. You can’t pour from an empty cup, Mama!

What he say? He’s selfish and trying to gaslight you. Take that day.

No and your husband is manipulating you into doing the work so he doesn’t have to.

That’s not being selfish your husband’s being selfish cuz he should tell you to go do something for yourself everybody needs that

How are you selfish by not caring about him and the kids? He’s the selfish one.