It is selfish for a mama of a 14 year old, and 11 year old, and raising a 16 year old niece to want a day just to herself for going out and just enjoying herself? I am that mama but when I talk to my husband about it he says that I’m just being selfish and that I don’t care about him or our children.
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Not at all!! You have to take care of yourself too.
He’s insecure. His problem not yours. Sounds like they can manage a few hours alone- just go.
You need to take care of yourself to be able to do your job as a mother. Take a weekend and go somewhere just you. I’m going on a retreat next month for 4 days, I am so excited 
It sounds like to me that they are all old enough to take care of themselves for a day. Go out and have you a wonderful day. You deserve it !!
Definitely you need a day to yourself. Let husband take care while you go out
No it is not in fact me my husband both make an appointment at least once a month where we have a day off from work and from the kids where we don’t have to do anything I might still be at home but everybody knows don’t come to Mama for nothing and if I feel like going out I go out and I do whatever for the day and he has days where he’ll go spend the afternoon watching football at one of the bar sports bars with a friend to get out of the house and just have a little time to themselves
Those kids are old enough to take care of themselves and so is your husband…take a day or 2 and enjoy yourself!
Everyone deserves alone time, period!
I can relate, it’s not selfish, the person you are dealing with is insecure and wants all of your time and attention to be focused on him and the kids because he is scared that if you leave the tiny little cage you will find something/someone else and will be happier and leave…FACTS I am dealing with the same thing, I would never leave but that’s what he is scared of
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Yes you need a break!Hubby needs to experience child care.
You need you time. I get me time Saturday nights when my husband and son do sword fighting classes.
Leave him with them for a few weeks and let him do all the work that goes along with running a household. He’ll be glad to offer you a break occasionally.
No. Everyone deserves a ME day. Plus those aged kids will be just fine.
Take that break, it will be better for you in the long run.
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His love language is probably quality time and he doesn’t understand why you would possibly want to do anything alone.
But no, it’s not selfish. I highly recommend that you give yourself the time. When they see how much more relaxed and happier you are they will get it.
Husband can give you a break …
I’d comment but it sounds like these mamas got you gurl
Can’t pour from an empty glass mama, go take a day to do things you love to refill your own cup so you can take care of your family feeling happy, healthy and still your own woman and person.
My mom went on a vacation by herself every year. I totally get it. The kids will be ok.
EVERYONE needs a break, definitely 
Every person need a break at different time in their life Every One
He sounds like he’s the one being selfish everyone deserves a break. Time to their selves. He should want you to be happy and relaxed.
I just went to Vegas for 6 days with my older adult twins ( I’m disabled so traveling with my wheelchair and oxygen alone is rough)
I left my husband and 2 teens home with the pets! I had the time of my life. I needed to get away from it all!! I had so much fun I’m going again in October!
No. Not at all. Self care and being your own person in important.
Absolutely not you most definitely deserve a break. Them kids are old enough to take care of there selves. Go out and enjoy yourself!! Leave them all home and go have a day for you!!
Self care is important & necessary.
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What is he when he probably gets a lot of time to himself
Everyone needs a break, especially moms. If you aren’t taking care of yourself, then you are no good for your husband or children. Sometimes you have to take a break to take care of yourself.
Nope not at all. But unfortunately we make the choices to have kids so we deal with it.
I have 6 kids of my own and also raising my 13 yr old nephew since he was 5 I never hardly ever get a break,ever! But they are so much older why do they need a baby sitter that old? 
Even mama’s need to recharge every now and then. Go for it to keep your sanity…
He’s full of 
. There’s NOTHING wrong with a mom needing a break. What’s SELFISH is KNOWING your wife needs a little break and trying to make her feel bad about it. Where do y’all find these “men”?
Self care is what you need to focus on. Focus on yourself momma. You are your best for your family when you take care of you first. Even if it is 20-30 minutes a day to start. Journal, meditation, yoga, exercise, take a walk. Whatever you need to do for yourself. That kind of unsupportive spouse sounds rather unhealthy. Please do not listen to him. That’s projection. I want you to know, your children will be happier when momma is happier. I know from experience. I still continue every single day to give myself 1 hour to fit in my exercise, whatever it may be. Love yourself.
Not selfish whatsoever, you still are someone outside of “mom” & “wife” & you still deserve to take care of you. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
My dream is to go to a beautiful place and get a motel room with one bed and a coffee maker, cable TV, ice cold AC, all by my lonesome stay in bed all weekend. Eat snacks and watch TV. No it’s not selfish.
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Definitely not selfish. Everyone needs a break. Even if it’s just an hour where you are totally uninterrupted
You can not pour from an empty cup.
He should care enough about you to offer a carefree day without any problems!
That’s bull crap! You definitely deserve a day to yourself as a mama. Not selfish at all!
Absolutely not! You’re still a human being and need to take care of yourself. You can’t take care of everyone else if you’re not taking care of yourself.
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That is HIM not caring about YOU. You can’t pour from an empty cup and shouldn’t be forced to. Have a day to yourself momma!
100% not selfish! You need time to recharge.
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Take it from a mom of 40 years…you NEED self care! I had 6 kids and was a stay at home mom. People ask what was my favorite thing to do with all those kids and I reply bedtime. I have no shame in saying that. Mom’s and Dad’s need time away to recharge their batteries. My husband was constantly encouraging me to go out even if it was for 30 mins. One time my husband took time off for a stay cation. After the third day he looked at me and said, how do you do this all day everyday. Maybe make a sign that says if mama ain’t happy nobody’s happy, or happy wife, happy life.
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Honey, take a weekend away for yourself!
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Everybody needs some time for themselves to rejuvenate! Take him with you!
Definitely not selfish. I’m a mom of 16 boy and 11 girl and 22 step son. I take my breaks and that’s, that! If it’s getting my hair or nails done, or even going grocery shopping ALONE. I make sure I’m doing something for me. Don’t feel selfish. To be honest that’s a selfish thing your husband said, mine would have had a knuckle sandwich, extra knuckles, he ever said that to me.
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He sounds toxic AF… Take a couple days girl. Let him hold down the fort.
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Husband’s an ass. Its exhausting having nothing but kids day in and day out. I love my son too the moon and back but every mom needs a break.
He is the selfish, go get that relax time, our mental health means better parenting.
I used to think that way but that is selfish I came to realize. once you become a parent and make that choice to continue to do so, the children always come 1st. Now if you said like an hour to yourself or a couple hours that’s different. Not a whole day. Do you work? your husband work? the children you say in ages are 2 teens and a preteen, so I dont see that you have to be hands on to them 24 hours a day , so you should be able to get a little time here and there to yourself. Or schedule a time like an appointment once or twice a week to take a walk in the park or a coffee break at a local cafe
Tell that man to shut his mouth and to schedule you a massage somewhere!
Nope, does he do anything beyond work? Does he have friends over to the house and they hang out without kids? It’s literally the same thing. Time alone is self care
Never. Everyone needs a “me” every now and then.
At those ages I wouldn’t even ask I’d just leave they are old enough to care for themselves for a few hours go enjoy yourself
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I would politely tell my husband to F off and I’m taking a me day!! Every mom needs a break and it is NOT SELFISH
I can so relate… I have a 14 yr old and an 11 yr old. No niece but I still feel for u
Husband just lazy tryna make you feel guilty bc he doesn’t want the responsibility when you’re out. Samp sucka
Absolutely not selfish every mama needs a day to herself here and there
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Your Human, we all need self care and time to ourselves, and No guilt attached. As mothers and wives we carry alot of responsibility and care of others. If you don’t care for you who will? Go get that relax time you deserve it.
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Those are self sufficient aged children, have a day or 3 to yourself. They will survive.
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Do you think, maybe, he just doesn’t want to tow the line, when you aren’t there?
All those kids are self sufficient. Including the husband.
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Not selfish, we need time off to decompress and be who we are. There is nothing wrong with being alone and he should too.
Your husband is the selfish one for not helping and giving you a DAY to yourself. It’s very important that you take care of yourself and he should want that for you too!!!
Years ago when I was caring for my twin toddlers, I had to have a conversation with my husband about helping me around the house and with our kids because at that time he didn’t see why some household chores weren’t done when he got home. When we had a chance to have our roles reversed he apologized when I got home and he finally understood what I was feeling. Since then he has helped more. I would say that you’d have to talk with your husband and if he doesn’t understand what you’re feeling/saying then have him take care of everything while you relax. Only then will he fully understand. A day isn’t even that long!
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It’s called self care, and you absolutely need to go do things you enjoy too. You can’t pour from an empty cup honey! Your husband is the one being selfish.
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Heck no man. Being a mom is hard af
You are not selfish AT ALL! Everyone needs and deserves a break 
Um you need a couple dayz to breath mama. Just do it. Don’t let him make choices for you.
Does your husband get to do things for himself? Do your children get things for themselves? If yes so do you. No questions
It’s actually very important to take care of yourself!!!
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Nope not selfish at all to want a day to breathe and reset.
Take your ass out and have fun! You have one life and those kids and your husband are all old enough to take care of themselves for a few hours
Self care is so important you can’t pour from an empty jar. You need to fill yourself up so you can fill others 
Does your hubby get he time? If so tell him to shut the hell up and walk out the door🙌
He sounds like fabulous guy- sarcasm intended
It is called self-care I have my grandkids 2-3 weeks in July to give my daughter a break everyone needs a break
Does hubby go out by himself? What is good for the goose is good for the gander. I know I’m old.
Go somewhere for the weekend. Leave the kids with husband. Turn off your phone. He’ll probably think differently.
That BS I’d like to know how much freedom the kids n hubby get to do things for themselves 
every mother / wife deserves timeout to think only of themselves for a day, week or as long as you need. Truth be know he is being selfish to not support you. Guessing he doesn’t want the responsibility of looking after the kids or himself if your not home 
All parents need times of regeneration. You must take this time for yourself to be your best self. One thing I have learned is. It is up to us to care for ourselves. No one else will do it. You may get a hard time over it. If you care for you it shows and teaches good self care and self respect. Teaches your kids the right way. Everyone wins when you do. I had to learn this the hard way. Good luck. Remember this is your responsibility. Don’t wait on someone to notice you need a break. It probably won’t happen. Your family could get used to this positive behavior. It happens slowly sometimes.
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I cried like a baby 2 days ago in front of my two kids and husband bc I was in sm pain and in mental anguish. They are so compassionate and need to know us too. My husband said well would a hot tub visit make you feel better? My daughter made me breakfast in bed the next day. We need space to be better mothers bc our mental health means better parenting.
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First of all tell your man-child to put on his big boy pants and be accountable for the children he helped bring into this world while Mom has a “Me day”!
Shit…. They old enough to look after themselves … go away for the weekend 
spa day massages the works … you deserve it
It is NOT selfish, and your husband is absolutely wrong.
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Why are you letting a man and dad decide what you as a mom need? He doesn’t know what you go thru, how you feel, or the toll motherhood takes. Fathers are important but they’re not mothers. They can’t carry our load. So asking his opinion or listening to it when it has nothing to do with him is just wild to me!
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Absolutely not. Both my kids are now grown and I did things like that. You aren’t just a mother and wife…you are an individual, too. Sorry, but your husband is being a little toxic…I know, because mine was emotionally toxic too. Don’t pay attention to his negativity. Next time he goes to say it, cut him off and say " not interested" I do that with mine and he doesn’t say stuff like that anymore
Id find me a new husband.
You have to re- charge… Always taking care of other’s takes a toll on you. You need and deserve time to BREATHE 
One morning when y’all are all home tell him you have to run an errands and leave ALONE . Go get your break. You deserve it. He’s a BUTT. Let’s him take care of things.
You need a break, so does he.
I get the same thing from my husband
Not selfish at all. And anyone who tells u that it is, that’s their opinion. But don’t ever allow anyone to make u feel that it’s selfish. Happy Mom, happy life.
Your kids are grown. You deserve way more than to enjoy a day alone. Take a trip!
He’s manipulative.
You are definitely NOT being selfish. It sounds like your husband is though. He wants you to be there for them and him at their beck and call. That is not fair at all to you. You definitely need YOU time, it’s important for your sanity
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Absolutely nothing selfish, about your request!! We all have these momma moments
Sounds like you’re husband is a lazy POS and doesn’t want to do anything when youre gone.
Just plan a day away, and let him know you’re taking that free time for yourself.
He sounds like a douche! Mama’s deserves Me time! Doesn’t make you selfish or love them any less!
It’s definitely not selfish! It’s self care!
Your husband is the selfish one here!