I have been chatting with a man on Facebook for several months. Of course, after doing a little digging i found out he was only separated, and had to wait on his states rule to be able to get divorced. Normally, if began talking to someone and found out they weren’t completely divorced I would run. For whatever reason, I did not this time. We have delevoped a friendship only by chat. He has since been able to file for divorce and he is just waiting to get signed order back. He lives in a smalltown near where I grew up, so we know alot of the people. We have become good chat friends, and now he is suggesting once the divorce is finalized we take it to another level, possibly a relationship. I have not even thought of this more than a friendship. I feel like he tells me the truth. I’m just wondering if the fact that we have chat for months but never met up is odd. I completely respect him and the decision to not get involved with anyone until everything is complete. I just want to know if I’m doing the right thing or is he just talking crap to me until he is single and free?
A video chat is a great way to get to know someone within the safety of your own space. I would try that first!
When I first started talking to my husband he was married but also separated, I felt a very deep connection with him. It took a while for him to get a divorce but I was patient! We do share a child together and been through ups and downs but nothing broke us! The only thing I don’t understand about your story is why would he want to meet or hang out? That’s the only thing that would bother me because maybe his wife doesn’t know anything. I would listen to your gut and do what’s best for you and don’t let him drag you around, I would go out and have fun!
In my experience yeah that’s weird. Every time I met a guy online they wanted to meet up pretty quickly unless they were hiding something!
He may just want friendship and space age a divorce
He’s still married. He doesn’t want to date while married. How is that weird? He said once the divorce is final you could discuss the next steps. Let the ink dry!
I think him cutting all ties first with his wife is respectful in my opinion, I did the same before seeing anyone else.
I dont think it’s necessarily a red flag. I think he may have set healthy boundaries for himself and wanted to get through this before committing himself to someone else. I also don’t think there is a right or wrong answer for the path a relationship must take.
My best, longest, and current relationship did not follow any rules. Met online while he was deployed. He was due back 1 month later. Met as soon as he got back. He immediately asked me out. We moved in together same day. We’ve been together over 10 years, married 9, and have 3 kids and a good life together.
My advice is to just do what feels right.
I would call the courthouse and see if he has actually filed for a divorce. If he’s telling the truth then don’t be pushy. He may be playing it safe and not wanting anyone to say he’s cheating so he’s waiting until he’s officially divorced to date.
I did this during my divorce.
I would research and see if he did file for divorce. I know a lot of guys who will lie about that. And maybe video chat with him first
I think there are 2 things here. One, he may be respecting his ex and not getting into a relationship until things are completely done and two, if the divorce is not final, she may use that as a cheating aspect. I know in some states it’s still considered cheating until the divorce is completely final, and she could use that against him.
Maybe he hasn’t want to meet up because because he is still legally married. Doesn’t seem too weird to me.
He is not getting divorced. If he was already in process of divorce, he is already separated and can date.
Ask him about video chat maybe he nervous to meet someone new or he wants to wait until finalized before meeting up because sometimes divorce takes awhile
He’s not single, move on.
It’s not wierd… I suggest you do a little investigating since you know the same people, ask them about him, his histry/past etc… then decide
He’s just looking for a hook up…they don’t go from the frying pan back into the fire! You filled some lonely down time while he was splitting up with his wife!! Don’t be surprised if he does the same to you. It’s been months, what could he possibly want now?
It’s weird for him to suggest taking the relationship further when you’ve never even met in person. Red flag for sure. Unless you live like 15+ hours away from him? You didn’t say how far you lived away from him.  At least, if you know some of the same people, he’s in the town you grew up in, you know that he’s a real person. 
 get one of your friends who knows him to find out some info for you. That’s the thing about these forums, OP never gives enough info
I been talking to a guy for about 6 months maybe more and we never met yet and he never asked to meet me either. He has zelle me 20$ here and 40$ there. In conversation has said to me that he embarrassed that he doesn’t have money to take me out to nice places like he wants. Well he my friend on fb so he knows my lifestyle so I say that is probably true. So maybe this guy doesn’t have enough money to be a man. Sounds shallow in my part but I dated guys who would ask me for hundreds of dollars so yes I want a man with his own money lol 
Sounds possibly like you helped him through the stage he was going through, maybe even some type of dependency. If he was serious about you, you would know. Unfortunately you may just be a ‘fill in’. I hope I’m wrong.
If he can’t videochat while having all that time to chat… RUN!! Don’t even waste your time any longer. Don’t be dumb.
This is textbook Catfish. I’m sorry.
I talked with my now husband for 8 months before I got fed up and went to his town to meet him we were 5 hrs apart come to find out the reason he made excuses as to why he couldn’t come see me the real reason was his car was a piece of shit and his license was suspended… He hid that from me while I was there then finally came clean I told him I was not gonna hold him being in a bad spot against him we then made plans to move in together 5 months after meeting for the first time in person I moved by him and we lived together right away now going to be married 4 years in September
look up the group “are we dating the same guy “ and post a picture anonymously and ask there. It’s a pretty big group where I’m from and guys get called out daily.
No you are not doing the right thing, yes he is stringing you along and it would be very unwise to believe anything he says, since it started with a lie of omission of his actual marital status and now he knows you have very very weak boundaries and are seriously naive. He’s not a friend and you aren’t his sounding board therapist.
Ditch him. Find ‘friends’ you can see in front of you and know where…and how they live.
This is a mom group, not a dating advice group so if you do have kids, double ditch him immediately.
Probably talking crap. Women or so gullible!
This is a mom group? Not a dating advice page
Definitely video chat! U need to know who he is before meeting up.
Divorce can get messy if an ex sniffs a new female! Meet the guy he sounds like he has a good bead on his shoulders!
How about you just tell him to call you when his divorce is over!
You said you both know a lot of people from your home town… ask mutual friends you trust! Maybe they could offer insight if he’s not forthcoming after asking him straight up why he doesn’t want to meet.