Single mamas…is it worth being single? I’m at a point where I plan on breaking up and kicking out my fiancé (we rent my parents other house) & I just don’t wanna with be with him anymore. He’s always rude af to me and just says hurtful shit. He doesn’t help me do anything around the house, doesnt clean or cook, doesn’t buy/help me groceries, the only thing he does that he does t that’s helpful is watch my daughter while I’m at work (I work 3, 12s night shift, mind you the only thing he needs to do is let her eat dinner, give her a bath and she’s asleep after) that’s the only thing that’s going to suck if I do kick him out, idk where he’ll go but also idk how it’ll work for him to still watch my daughter while I work. I almost hate him. I don’t see myself being with him for aanother month.
Absolutely it’s worth it. I left my abusive husband and was the best thing I did, you will need time to heal. Ask your mom or dad to come over and watch the kids your first couple shifts, he might be resentful after you kicking him out so be aware for that. He likely won’t come watch your daughter anymore, rely heavily on your parents and friends around that time, or find a teenager you trust completely. It’s not easy but it’s worth it. You don’t deserve to be called names and have rude things said to you. Take the high road and do it gracefully and have him leave. Give him a date to be out by so he’s not homeless just say “hey this isn’t working anymore between us, I’m not in love with you anymore. I really want us both to be happy in life. I’d like you to leave by xx-xx-2023 and I’d like to still remain friends if possible, I know this hurts, but I cannot keep pretending.” Something short simple and to the point, if he asks why or another chance just stand your ground and say no, you do not have to provide him with an explanation right now. You got this.
Hey Momma, first off I’m proud of you! You deserve a high value man. Get your ducks in a row first. Find a family member or someone else that can watch your baby girl. That way you have one less stressor. Be safe Best of luck. Positive white light sent your way. 
I only regret not leaving earlier and being a single mom sooner. It was worth every moment of it. I learned to be more resourceful and learned I can do a lot of things on my own. I was happier with myself and knowing all the work i did was for my child. I loved my child more than I did him and was set on providing a better example for my child as well a better environment. A happy mom does equal a happy child and home. You got this!! Your not the 1st single mom and you won’t be the last. Best wishes to you.
For me, it’s worth losing all of that. It’s so peaceful. You can do it. Xoxo
Girl, it’s me, my 17 and 14 year old sons, my dog, my cats and my plants and life is goooood. Do it. 100% do it
Time to leave. Will it be tough? Definitely. Will it be worth it for your self and daughter? Absolutely.
For me absolutely yes it’s worth it!! Peace of mind!
Best advice my grandfather ever gave me was; It is better to be ALONE than in bad company.
Always place YOU being treated with respect and the way you deserve to be treated over just having a partner out of pride or loneliness. Good luck 
It’s more than worth being single than being in an unhealthy relationship. Kids pick up the tab for everything and they deserve the absolute best from you. You will know when you are ready to leave. Trust your instinct.
Try to find out different baby sitting arrangements. Find someone to watch your kid. A friend or family or a friends older son or daughter that’s capable and old enough to babysit.
Absolutely your deserve. Bettet
Being a single mother is difficult sometimes but it’s not always as bad as people think.
If you’re unhappy do what’s best for you, good luck x
Is finding time and funds a struggle? Yes. But I’d being free from a miserable life and having the opportunity to love yourself worth it?? 100%. I’m finding my way after leaving a 9 year relationship and while there’s so much I miss there’s so much more I’m gaining now and I would do it all again.
I will never regret my choice to be a single mom at 24 with a 2 year old. I learned so much about what I am capable of, and I was a much better mother.
It was extremely hard, scary at times and lonely…but all that just made me stronger in the end.
Believe it or not its so much easier!
Sounds like your already a single mother time to let him go I wish you the best and as far as a babysitter there’s help in about every state for single parents with child care
For me it was worth it. Hard especially at first but it has gotten easier and a million times better since I took my kids and left. I would start working on a back up babysitter justincase he isn’t able or willing to watch your daughter
Until a man comes along and actually wants to be a partner, its definately worth being single.
I left my toxic and unhealthy relationship 2 years ago. Was with him 7 years engaged for 6 and two girls together (they are almost 6 and 4 1/2 ) best thing I did. So glad I freed myself of the dark place. It’s what was best for me and my kids.
It’s hard at first, but you’ll never regret finding happiness for yourself (and in turn, happiness for your daughter who’ll see you happy 
) Get looking into daycares or family who can watch your daughter so you’re ready to step away from this man who doesn’t sound supportive at all.
Sometimes you are better off friends than partners. I’m a single mom to my three kids, but their dad & I get along so much better this way. I have the kids call him everyday & we try to see him as much as possible since we are three hours away. The hate gets worse if nothing is done about it.
If u live in the shepparton Vic area I will support u 
Life is too short to be unhappy.
Get a plan together that you can fall back on. Even if he does agree to continue watching her he could change his mind once he gets a life of his own.
If he is doing little to nothing to help in the relationship or the home than my gut says he’s not happy either. If you can both co-parent effectively than you can both move on. Chances may be that he just doesn’t want to be the one to initiate a split.
Better to be alone and happy than together and miserable.
If he doesn’t help you, you’re already a single mother. Find someone to help you with your daughter, maybe parents? I’m sure he still would help (if he’s any kinda man) but if not, make a back up plan.
I’m much happier now being a single mom then I was with my ex.
I didn’t even stop and read the comments you get use to being alone my best advice being with my ex for 12 years is I wish I would of left sooner - I found a man who does for me, my two kids and loves us unconditionally offers to help, picked up my son for school before work on his own when we started first getting together he kept asking to just bring my kids and I didn’t need a sitter invited my kids to his moms who is important to him! If a man wants to he will be disrespectful and lazy is because he knows he can he doesn’t feel he needs to the extra and you deserve so much more! Their is care in the day and even after 6 I’m sure good luck
It’s less stress on your mind and body being a single mom when you know you’re only able to depend on yourself to do everything. It eliminates the mental and physical exhausting part of wondering if they’re gonna help. Also cheaper cause you don’t gotta take care of a over grown man child.
Sounds like you’re already a single mom, what do you need him for? I was in your shoes at one time, it’s totally worth being single rather than putting up with that crap. You don’t need someone else to take care of.
You want someone like that watching your daughter
Yes it’s worth it. Then when the time is right a man will walk into your life and do all the things he wouldn’t
Resentment doesn’t go away, did the exact same last year. Although it’s a daily struggle I am way less stressed, seems like you’re already past the point of no return so free yourself. Best of luck!
It’s better to be alone than to show your daughter that it acceptable to be treated that way Start making plans for someone else to watch your daughter because he probably won’t. If your daughter is his child, I suggest getting a custody order because in most states, he doesn’t have to give her back if there’s not an order. Also, if he gets mail at your address, you can’t just kick him out, si if he doesn’t move out on his own free will after asking, you’re gonna have to get your parents to serve him an eviction notice.
This relationship is at a dead end. He’s not contributing…period. Make a plan and either get out or get him out. And don’t forget the child support.
Ask yourself what are you benefiting from the relationship. I’m a single mom and it’s the hardest decision I’ve made but the best decision for me and my child
Send him packing…and don’t try to keep him.for the babysitting…find other arrangements. Get him completely out of your life. Free yourself.
Get out while you can. You’re already a step ahead of the curve by seeing the BS. Trust your gut and follow through. Don’t give this person any more of your time than he deserves. A therapist once asked me “if your child came home with the exact same person your partner is, down to the T, same behaviors, everything, and said mom this is who I’m going to marry and spend the rest of my life with, would you try and stop them?” Think about that and if your answer is yes, then you know you’ve gotta do the hard thing. Just remember it’s only temporary.
It’s better to be without him then to be miserable, that’s from someone who only knows to well.
Could you possibly change shifts so it’s easier to get a sitter if you are able to afford a sitter? I know it’s hard, but at this point, I feel like he is just stressing you out with him being there, I wouldn’t even feel comfortable with him watching my child if he treated me that way, is she his daughter also?
Start looking into hiring an overnight sitter and say Bye Bye. If you’re at the point where it’s unfixable and it’s something you can no longer handle then it’s time to leave.
If you kick him out he’s not going to keep watching your daughter. And you do not want someone who is probably going to hold a grudge against you for kicking him out babysitting your daughter. And since it’s over night he’ll still sleep at your house I assume and then he’s just supposed to leave during the day? He probably won’t go for that.
Yes for me it was absolutely worth it. No man is worth your mental health.
Get him gone. Your child is learning how to treat people (even people you love) & if he isn’t treating you right she’ll grow up learning that. Find someone else quickly & get him gone! You got this!
I think it’s better to be a single mom than live with a man who doesn’t respect or value you and your daughter will grow up and think that’s ok. Kick him out, hope you’ll find someone you can trust to watch your daughter. Don’t worry about how he’s going to do. Let him figure out himself. He’s a grown man, he is not your son to babysit
Worth it in the sense of your sanity and self worth? Yes. you sound ready. It’s hard but you will figure it out on the way.
It’s over. You can do it girl! Hell no it’s not easy! I raised 3 alone. No support. No help. No welfare. You sound pretty bright to me. You got this!!
At this point you basically are a single mother , dump him & move onn
I’ve been a single mum the best part of my 4 years old life. I couldn’t imagine being with his dad now, I also work full time and I manage to make it work. It’s better to be alone than together and treated like shit x
Kick him out! Being married to a douchebag is harder than being single
I mean, if you’re already a single mother basically…yeah it’s gonna suck either way but it’s gonna suck more with someone you hate.
Yes, if it means you’re going to be happier and the kids won’t be in a stable environment.
With the exception of child care, you’re already doing it all on your own, so you might as well be on your own. Being a single mother is better than being with a “man” that don’t act right.
I would either arrange child care or see about having your schedule changed before you put him out, but get that taken care of and then tell him to kick rocks. He sounds like more of a burden than a blessing.
Yes. Protect your peace- from what you said it’s time.
Absolutely. Everything is figureoutable, but happiness is priceless. Coming from someone who knows
It’s much better being single than taking care of another person & putting up with verbal abuse. I bet with the amount of money you save on groceries, utilities & other expenses you can afford to hire a teen to come over &, sit with your daughter 3 nights a week. If you choose to do child support you can also ask that he pay half of child care. Just keep in mind you may not get any child support.
Life got easier after I left. One less child to pick up after
Your happiness is definitely important and you deserve better. But the bigger question is…are you ok with allowing your daughter to grow up watching her father treat her mother this way? My daughter was my motivation to leave. She didn’t deserve to grow up in a toxic household with an alcoholic father. We’re supposed to model positive and healthy behavior for our children. She shouldn’t grow up thinking that it is acceptable for a man to behave this way in a relationship. Good luck! You got this!!! It’s amazing what we can do for our children!
Staying with someone just because you have children is not healthy for anyone. Including the child.
Yeah, if you break up with and kick out the BF, I wouldn’t want him babysitting my kid. Especially if he’s not that attentive.
What are your other options for babysitting? A housemate you know and trust? A family member? Subsidies for care?
Since your needs are relatively simple, maybe give another single mom a break on rent in exchange for watching your daughter at night.
Or provide a home for a sweet older woman who doesn’t have a family in exchange for a slight break on rent. She gets love and companionship and a family, you get help with the household and a bit of rent money.
100%, absolutely, not even just “worth it” but NECESSARY. For your mental health and your babies. Leave him. Get your stuff in order for your daughter and all that and move on. Life’s too short.
Wait so you wanna break up with him and kick him out but still have him babysit your kid?
YES. Stress of a dysfunctional relationship is toxic.
Get u a day care or someone to watch baby. Maybe family that’ll come keep child till u get off n they go home.? I would definitely go with ur gutt for sure
Go tell him basically what you told us… if he makes an effort to change good if he doesn’t make a safety plan such as new locks, childcare ect
I’ve been raising my 12 year old on my own most of his life. I’d rather be alone than to expect help and not receive it. I also prefer to not be in relationships that are not the type I’d want my son to be in or that could possibly let him see me being mistreated in. I don’t deserve to be mistreated and neither does he. I don’t want him to think it’s okay to mistreat any person, especially not a woman.
It sounds like he doesn’t work either. Talk to your parents about the rent and pay a sitter or possibly a young person you trust to move in with you. So many are out there needing a safe home as well. Obviously chose carefully. Also do you want your daughter to grow up thinking it’s ok for a man to treat a woman that way!
Can you parents watch the baby ? Or just find a nursery. Those hours are going to suck finding a nursery. Plus nurseries cost lots of money. Pretty much eat your paycheck. But I would definitely tell him to get out. A grown man doesn’t need to be treated like an infant. He needs a job. Pay most expenses and still help
Uve given no reason to actually stay
Make him leave and when he gets settled somewhere it shouldn’t be a problem to help take care of his child on days you work just like he does now. But I would also see if a family member can help in meantime because I have a feeling he is going to be an absent father from how you described him
You can’t find Mr. Right if your with Mr. Wrong…… or maybe single life is your new wheelhouse.
Better alone than a relationship while doing all alone. I ended my marriage so much happier alone. He was abusive aswell
Yes is worth it…because the mental peace is worth it…because is worth it to watch ur children grow up in a peaceful happy home…not all families need a father…especially of the father is not a good help or partner…I wished more mothers would choose this…rather than being unhappy
U answered your own question
If you will get a peace of mind and not hate him it will be worth it. He’s showing you exactly what you will get if you marry so you kind of know it’s not making you happy or your life better. As for where he goes- he’s an adult he needs to figure that out and hopefully he will want to spend time with your daughter but if she’s not his bio kid he may be a dick about it. Single parenting is hard but a lot of women in relationships feel they are basically single parents so only you can decide what you want to do. It would be best to end it before you resent him and hate him. Good luck it’s always hard even if it’s the right thing to do.
Let me put it this way, once i pulled the plug, i no longer had to be a “Married single” mother i just had to be a single mother, it made my life 100 times easier because it eliminated more than half of my workload and frustration picking up the slack for another human being. I had already been doing it all by myself and once he was out of the picture, i no longer had to be in a shitty marriage and do shit by myself, i just had to do shit by myself. Best decision ive ever made
So hes living for FREE, treating you like shit, and you feel dependent on him?! Youre so much stronger than you feel. I was single with 3 kids. Alcoholic husband. Talk to your parents. Let them know whats happening. Then call the local high school or Community College. In HS the counselors knew who the solid kids were. I hired one for those 3 eves a week. If no one, check out students at college. They can study at night and get paid.
Kick him to the curb and CHANGE THE LOCKS. A few things will happen, your life will calm down, for one. The biggest thing is, you wont be teaching your kid that being treated like crap is normal.
How old is the child? Could a friend or family help until you can find a nanny? Can you afford a nanny?
Is it his child?
Of it is you can lock him out and share custody so he takes her the days you work.
Or he can go on assistance and have her full time. That’s a thing now you know.
Also if he suddenly said I got a full time job Mon to Friday would your response be you can’t you have to watch her so I can work?
And you sound like you hold the “my parents house” over his head. So
Look at it from the other side
If I had a boyfriend that worked your hours that means I have to work around you and your needs and your an TA because
It’s your moms house not rented from a stranger so you feel entitled to judge his part. Yet you just said I want/need him to be the daycare just not here.
Well sweety that’s not how the real world works.
And you seldom upgrade you just think you do.
So whoever your talking’s to that makes you think he’s not important in your life should be responsible for the daycare. And since you can’t babysit your own kid while at work or afford a nanny because that’s what people do in your situation that are that entitled as you think you are.
Yeah he probably is a jerk and he probably doesnt Help because all he hears is how it’s your moms house he has no say and your the only one working yet it a crappy shift when you have a kid. And if he did get a job you’d be pissed it didn’t accommodate your wants and needs
Yeah leave him you hate him your finacially sound as you say You obviously aren’t getting child support and he actually is entitled to alimony now. Enjoy. The whole story reeks of Bs
He doesn’t help, treats you like crap, talks ugly to you… I’m not seeing why there is a reason to stay with him let alone marry the crap ass.
I’m newly single after trying to make it work with my kids’ dad. He put me through so much shit, and then had the audacity to break up with me and leave me and my kids homeless (came to town for a medical trip for my second). Starting over from nothing is so much better than staying and being miserable
You can still have him “watch” his child it’s called coparenting but still find a back up sitter. I was a single parent for a long time already before I left so I knew I could do it with out him. It’s not easy but anyone can do it. Best of luck
I left with 4 kids and moved home with my dad. Best move I ever made. The day my son looked at me and said, Mom you really leveled up, I knew I’d made the right decision. You’re in a better position than I was, I say make the move. You’ll figure out care for your daughter. Can your parents help?
Yes short answer yes it’s worth it if you’re truly unhappy and he doesn’t add anything to the relationship do it. If it’s just overnight care you need, how far do your parents live? I would look into who you trust to watch your child overnight and while you sleep if you can’t I would look into a day job and go from there.
Take the red flag and run. You’ll figure out being a single momma. No one plans it. We all find out a way to do it. It’s not easy but your kid deserves you to be happy.
I’ve had success with nannies. Day care part time. Family members etc.
Sounds like you’re already a single mother. Getting rid of him will probably be easier without the extra stress and abuse. You got this
Given your option, single motherhood is 100% better.
It can be stressful at first but then you will get on track. It is peaceful for sure.
If it’s not also his daughter, he may not watch her after you break up so see if you can make other arrangements but in general you don’t have a partner as it is. Sounds like you’re basically already living the single mom life
No like for real go before it’s worse. It’s hard at first but can’t and don’t give up.
Yes its worth it…teach ur baby girl that she should never settle. Show her how she deserves to be treated. U will be fine, already sounds like this will be a relief for u, but that baby girl needs a role model that doesn’t put up with that, so she won’t put up with it in the future.
You and he are both role models to your children. If he is modeling bad behavior, and you model acceptance of it, that is what they will learn. You can’t change the example he sets. But you can show your children that it is not acceptable and you can model for them how to not put up with it. If you don’t, they will think bad behavior is acceptable.
You can’t seriously expect that he’s going to continue to watch your child if you kick him out?
Time for a new beginning. Be sure and file for child support and for daycare help. Lay it out now because you know he won’t be taking care of anyone but himself. You deserve better and so does your daughter. Stay single for a few years. Learn about yourself. Just enjoy being a mom. Relationships are overrated. Unless a man wants to do dishes, laundry and cooking he’s not one you want to even think of living with let alone marrying.
Absolutely! Previous single mom of three here, recently married! IT IS WORTH IT! I promise! Sit down with your parents and discuss options. You can message me anytime if you need help! I’ve been through it all girly! But I promise, it’s worth it.
I honestly felt it was much easier mentally to be with out my kids dad then to be with him… it was so toxic and I had to downgrade a lot but I was so much happier not having to hear him nag all the damn time… I contemplated the babysitting thing aswell cause he to would watch my kid but honestly having to come up with daycare on my own was still better than dealing with his shit! U got this don’t stay put for the sake of your baby it’s not worth it
#1…your sanity and self worth is paramount. You can find a babysitter to do exactly what your fiancé is doing! Do you have a parent or close relative nearby that could help out with your little one?