Your baby is more important you should do what you are comfortable with
You can tell her that she can’t come to the hospital but you can’t keep her from coming. However as soon as you get to the hospital and checked in then inform the nurses who you want to have access to your room. If you don’t want her there they will inform her she can’t go in and if she violates that they will get security.
My mom and dad are the same way. I told the nurses I only wanted my husband in the room and they took care of the rest.
They know they cant babysit. If they want to see my kids they can come visit my house… but they drink to much to even worry about it.
I would just allow the father and no one else in the delivery room!!! Don’t let her in the Labour delivery room!! You want least destractions possible!! Dad’s do it all the time, you just tell the nurses you want only him there and everyone else can wait to see the baby till afterward!
we are responsible for our own children, not anyone else.
people will guilt you, discourage and criticize but in the end- you are your child advocate. they have no voice, defense or judgement if not yours.
good luck 
No you don’t want her there that’s your decision no one else’s!
Nope, kids safety and your sanity come first.
I say I would let her be there for the birth. But definitely not allow her to babysit.
Absolutely NOT!! Imagine the guilt you would have to live with if anything ever happened to your child while under her “care”. The fact that she has driven drunk with a child in the car should answer your question. Who’s to say that wouldn’t happen with your child? When weighing out the pros and cons I would ask yourself this…would I rather feel bad temporarily for taking a hard stance and saying no and potentially hurt her feelings, (you have absolutely nothing to lose with this option) or would I rather appease her and spare hurting her feelings and take the chance that my child loses their life (everything to lose with this option). Might sound extreme but if she doesn’t seem to care either way, you shouldn’t either. Honestly, if she ever gets sober she will probably thank you. Go with your gut. She will be able to forgive you one day but I guarantee that you will never forgive yourself if something happens to your child due to her negligence.
And as for her being at the hospital for your delivery, if you don’t feel like having that uncomfortable conversation with her, inform your medical team at the hospital (every nurse you talk to) from the get go that you don’t want her in your room. Trust me, they will GLADLY be the bad guys for you. Their goal is to have as little stress as possible for mom and baby, they could not care less about your mom’s feelings that day. Especially if she’s drunk! I wouldn’t be surprised if they kicked her out themselves if she showed up visibly intoxicated. Talk about a liability! Even if you decide to have her in there and then change your mind halfway through, don’t shoulder that burden yourself. Your nurses are there to help you and support you and if you change your mind and want her out, tell them and they absolutely will handle it.
As someone who spent the better part of my life walking on eggshells around an alcoholic parent who had no regard for other people’s lives, it may be worth wasting your own time, but your child shouldn’t have to be the one to suffer the consequences…which is inevitably what will happen if left alone with someone so reckless. Be it something as small as an avoidable scraped knee because her reaction time is delayed or something as devastating as drunk driving that takes your child’s life. Your job is to protect them. And leaving your baby in her care unsupervised would be doing the exact opposite of that.
It sounds like you already know the right thing to do though, mama. Good luck and congrats on your sweet babe
My nana drinks and gets bad when drunk. I’ve always told her she needs stop this.
Recently I had gotten a drunk driver off the road and probably saved someone’s life that night just by staying with him and made sure he didn’t drive off and cause an accident.
So don’t do something you’re not comfortable with. I’ll also say the drunk driver almost hit a father with his daughter too.
I wouldn’t want her WITH me at birth, but could be there as long as she behaved and not disruptive. As for babysotting, NO WAY!!!
For the safety of your INNOCENT child who cannot protect herself, you are obligated to be present with her ANYTIME your mother is with her because of the drinking and lack of concern! During the birth, you cannot trust her around all those tools in the birthing room! She has no business in there!
My mother begged and conned her way into the delivery room by telling me she wouldn’t let my little sister see my son if I didn’t let her in. I fully regret falling for it. Don’t do that to yourself. Family or not, toxic people don’t belong and can ruin the experience for you. Do what’s right for YOU!
The biggest problem is people want to continue to enable their loved one. Tough love is the best love. It’s not about you anymore it’s about the safety of your children. And really you have to ask yourself is that someone you want in your children’s lives? If you love her you will hold her accountable.
Not awful. Go with your gut, even if it’s uncomfortable. You know deep down what’s best.
Same happened with my mom she’s all I have for family so always active in each other’s lives when I had my son she bought a crib and tons of stuff for her house I’ve complained about her drinking nothings changed she’s been jealous of my sons fathers family members babysitting but let’s just say the crib she bought never was used and she still drinks but thinks it’s not a problem every time I express my concerns we fight we just grow further and further apart… I have no advice as I’m dealing with the same my son is now 2 his father and I split I now have no help but still can’t trust her she has promised not to drink while drinking right in front of me I took a sip of her drink it was straight vodka and now I will never b able to trust her
You’re the parent you are the one to keep your kids safe don’t fail them
Either she’ll clean up or she’ll regret it
No, no, no - I can’t stress this enough. I KNOW. You won’t get that moment back. Do not let her ruin the birth of your child. How many times has she ruined things for you? How many times has everything turned out to be all about her because of her issues? These things happened to me so I get it completely. Don’t do this to yourself. Like someone else said, let the hospital/nurses know and they will handle it if she shows up and you don’t have to be the bad guy. Tell your mother ahead of time the hospital only allows your partner there at the birth and you will call her as soon as you can and leave it at that. You know the answer to babysitting. Let her see your child when you are there.
I wouldn’t want her in the room either and definitely wouldn’t leave my child in her care
Establish and enforce healthy boundaries
No babysitting, the doc and nurses can limit who is in the delivery room. Al-Anon is a good program for the families of alcoholics, might not hurt to check it out before the baby comes.
My father was an alcoholic and I could nòt stand being around him while he was drinking and getting and getting druñk.when ì had my daughter I just told him òutright if you can’t come tò my home sober don’t còmè at all.he never did visit my home again.
.
You mom has a problem, you know Better why are you even questioning it
She should not be allowed around your children at all.
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If it helps any I was that mother when my daughter got pregnant with my first grandchild, and it was the reason I became sober… i wanted to be there for him, it’s been almost 7 yrs, and I’m now a sober Nana of 2 beautiful boys that are very proud um their Nana…it isnt always easy, but always worth it…
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Nope protect you babies and if she tries to get in tell the staff that she is not allowed to and they won’t let her in
Not awful, I had only my husband in my room when I was delivering, others could visit after 24 hours. Tell the nurses no visitors and they will enforce it with security if necessary.
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I didn’t even bother reading past “my mom is a severe alcoholic”
No it’s not wrong, if you have a valid reason (in your mind doesn’t have to fit everyone else’s minds) then no, you do whatever you need to do to protect your child
You have a say who can or cant come in. You dont have to call her when you go into labor. As far as babysitting. Why say anything. Just dont ask her.
Short answer to your question at the beginning of this is
Nope!
Your child comes first. If shes not safe for your child to be around, then she cant be around your child
No no and no you idiot
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If someone is toxic they don’t get to be around my kid. Period. The people I thought of as family changed dramatically when I got pregnant and I’m so glad. Her dad was the only person with me when she was born, and no one got to meet her until we were ready, several days later. I make no apologies and neither should you. We are putting our kids first and that is the most important thing we can do as parents. I’m sorry your mom has lost sight of that. Blessings.
You should be looking for your child’s safety. She’s the opposite of that.
Offer support through recovery, if she refuses she should not be allowed to be near a child. 
She wouldn’t be near my kids
She shouldnt hold the baby if she is drinking period whether you are there or not. Dont risk your babys life and safety trying to “be nice” you are going to have to get over that immediately as the protector of this child that is now your first priority. Momma already made her priorities known she should be able to live with the consequences by now.
Why ask your, your in control of your situation. She’s not going to know when you have the baby unless you tell her.
No,just no,your the parent now,and it’s your job to protect that baby.Forget mom’s feelings,and put your child first.If she is drunk,she doesn’t need to be around.She said she didn’t care,so why should you?
if she asks where you are delivering tell her one hospital and then have the baby at another. If you already told her just say u switched. And don’t feel bad about if she just shows up after you’ve already told her you don’t want her present for the birth. It’s just laying boundaries and if you know she won’t respect them then, I mean just don’t feel guilty. You can also tell the nurses she’s not allowed. And they will all have ur back.
It may give her a reason to seek help! My brother gave up drinking after years & years of alcohol abuse not long after my daughter was born. She’s now 5 & he has a decent relationship with her but I still wouldn’t allow him to be solely responsible for her. She needs to realise that she has an illness that will ultimately affect her relationship with ur baby if she doesn’t get help. Good luck xx
I personally wouldn’t allow her near the hospital or near my child let alone babysit or be present at the birth. It’s an insult that she hasn’t got help. Shes a mother…you’re supposed to be her priority rather than alcohol! Kiss her deluded ass goodbye and enjoy your little one 
Just don’t tell her when you go into labor or when you’re scheduled for a C-section, etc. Tell the nurses to keep her out. They can tell her only the parents are allowed in labor & delivery or whatever if she somehow gets wind you are in the hospital.
After the birth, once you are comfortable, call her & tell her to meet her new grandchild. Make her sit down to hold the baby & have your partner there to catch if needed. Or have her stand right up against your bed so if she drops baby, fumbles, or stumbles, everyone will land on your bed. Have your partner, dad & brother box her in under the guise of admiring the baby.
Of course you wouldn’t let her babysit! It’s a SMART decision to only allow her around the baby while supervised. You go mama!
Maybe encourage her to try therapy to help whatever is driving her to drink. Then she can work on joining AA. Otherwise be a broken record: “you can babysit once you have been sober for six months” or whatever is reasonable to you, and require whatever proof of sobriety you want/need from your dad, brother and/or her sponsor and therapist. And then only let her watch your baby for one to three hours. Maybe install a nanny cam too if she ever makes it to this point.
Would she be amenable to taking a “grandparenting class” with your dad? Hospitals often host these to let seniors know about all the latest research and proven techniques that have come about since they were new parents.
Are your father & brother responsible? Are they able to handle your mom? Would you be OK with her being with baby if one of them were also there? If/when she does come over, lock up all the booze.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. I pray your mom will get the help she needs, but you have to manage her the way she is now. Hugs.
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As someone with an alcoholic dad, I can assure you that she will show up drunk no matter how much she promises otherwise. Don’t let her be there. Stick to your guns and tell her that if she doesn’t get the help she needs she’s never going to be able to hold her grandchildren. Talk to your dad and brother, too. You guys need to be united on the front.
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Never leave you baby alone with her period.
Hospital will keep her out just tell them.
Definitely no to the babysitting…u cant leave s baby with someone who is mean and drunk plain n simple and as for the hospital well thats up to u…will she be a person to support u in labour or will she makes matters worse???..
No. It’s not wrong. You need to protect yourself and your baby.
You can have whoever you want in the delivery room and the nurses will keep everyone else out this need to be a peaceful time for you and not something that’s adding more stress… my mom is a drug addict I did not allow her in the delivery room , my husband and youngest sister were . And for baby sitting HELL NO not alone anyway … my mom has only baby sat when I knew someone else was there watching her and could also help with my son like my dad , or 2 sisters .
You’re about to find out that becoming a momma makes you suddenly able to declare what behavior you will no longer tolerate from even the closest people in your life. Don’t be manipulated into exposing your baby to an impaired person. If she wants to see the baby she can see it when she’s sober.
What !? do not even think about this NO WAY would I leave a alcoholic mother with or near my child
You and another loved one should step up and sign her up for treatment. I hate seeing we as human beings suffer from this chronic disease and it’s actually probably something very traumatic that she hasn’t healed from and is just broken. She’s being ignorant because the disease is asking for it. I’d get her help before her liver shuts completely down. I wouldn’t come at her all snotty, I’d just sit her down when I’d find her sober and have a real heart to heart and be stern about your decision. Just let her know that you’d love for her to be around longer and to watch your own baby grow older as well. Because you’ll regret not caring once she’s gone even if this disease of addiction has a grip on her. I pray your mom finds peace. Good luck♡
Are you nuts? Parents are a child’s advocate. Would you let any other drunk be near your child without supervision?
My mother in law and sister in law are exactly like this. When I had my youngest they both showed up smelling like vodka and cigs…I had a nurse tell them they need to go home and get a change of clothes and shower. They arent allowed to babysit, we don’t do sleepovers, and we have to limit our exposure time to the kids. We tried to get mil sober while I was pregnant but she wont do it. She just says I’m sorry I’m an alcoholic and gets trashed. 
it’s sad but we cant cut them completely because I still worry about my niece and they start all kinds of mental abuse if you don’t at least visit them…notice we have to visit them, they dont come to us. Everyone says give them a reason to get sober, get them help…they dont want it. Both of them are happy the way they live as functional alcoholics. Nothing will change that and recovery doesnt work unless you work it.
Would you let any other alcoholic who was always drunk watch your baby? Family doesn’t get special privileges to put your children in danger.
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Feelings can suck a fat one. Screw her and her BS. NO DRINKING! END OF DISCUSSION. She needs to Go to AA and graduate then she can talk…sorry…i hate alcohol with a passion.
Your baby, your choice.
But you actually answer your question at the end of your post it would be awful if you did let her. So don’t let her. It’s unacceptable
I can smell the alcohol from here…damn pregnancy nose…
You have to put the safety of the baby first and maybe not be allowed to be alone with the new baby will wake her up to getting help and let her sit in the waiting room till you are ready but if you don’t want her in the room for delivery then that’s your choice. You don’t have to cut her out but you have to make safe choices for your child
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Protect your children first. Mom has to go.
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You don’t have to tell her.
When I went into labor, I only had my hubby and a good friend there. No one else new my son was born until hours after!
Your very first sentence just answered your own question .
Your babys safty is more important than your moms feelings. My older sister is an alcoholic and she will never be alone with my kids unless she gets help and gets better. I had several people in the room with me while I was waiting for my daughter to arrive, she came so fast that I didn’t have time to kick anyone out. I know my sister loves me and is happy she got to be in the room, but I didn’t want her in there. If you don’t want your mom in the room, hospital staff will make that possible.
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I told my mom only one person could be in the room with me due to space and that was going to be the dad. My doctor even went along with it
I would say to tell she can wait in waiting room until after baby is born but tell her get sober or you won’t be able to see her grandkids when drunk
No it’s not awful to say no. She needs help and it’s not up to you to do that for her. If she cant sober up the dont allow her around the baby.
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Dnt tell her when ur in labour and never ask her to watch your child 
i would never put my child in that kind of danger x
You could always suggest/ask your father to arrange some kind of rehab for your mom. Voice your concerns to your mom about you being pregnant, birth, and having a newborn. If I were in your shoes, that’s what I would do. If she doesn’t get her act together and step up by being your mother and grandmother to your baby by the time labor hits. I wouldn’t let my mom in the room with me. She needs to care enough to have that right. Your mom can wait in the waiting room with the rest of the family. I wouldn’t feel bad by saying no to that or to babysitting. You’re an awesome mother already. Don’t doubt that!
I bent my rules for my mother when she was in active addiction, against my better judgement, and I almost lost my daughter for it. No! You stick to your guns and you don’t give in to her! Your baby comes first always💯 But it sounds like you need to learn more about addiction and how to draw healthy boundaries and lots of other things because addiction affects everyone not just the addict💯 Alanon meetings are a good start but counseling or therapy as well. And fyi she doesn’t want help and she WILL NEVER TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY🤷♀️ We don’t change for others, we only change when something happens that makes us change and that event is very different for everybody. You’re causing yourself a lot of unnecessary headaches And heartaches by not dealing with this stuff and I did the same thing for a long time And I can tell you my life IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TODAY and I wouldn’t have it any other way! All those years wasted in a sense.
Not out of line at all… in fact you’d be putting your child in grave danger knowing Themis and still allowing her to babysit! If something ever happened, you too would be charged with neglect for leaving your child with a known alcoholic incapable of caring for an infant
No your not awful for thinking that way. You have an obligation to your babies. I didn’t tell my mom until after the baby was born than she came and visited
You and your family need to have an honest discussion with her and get her some help. Having her present for the birth of your child should only be allowed if she’s sober and went through an AA program.
As far as during delivery, nurses are amazing (or at least they were where I delivered). My mom wanted to be in and all I wanted was my husband and whatever drs or nurses to be in the room. You can tell the nurses who you want, and they should make sure that is followed.
As far as babysitting, I would not let her watch baby since she drinks.
Your the Mom it’s up to you if it was me I would be there to supervise
Don’t feel guilty and say no to both without hesitation. Put you and your child first. If she gets help and sobers up then try to trust her. You won’t want your drunk mother in the delivery room either. I hope everything goes well for you.