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QUESTION:
"I’ve been married for a while have kids with my husband and absolutely hate my wedding rings, they are cheap and nasty and falling apart my skin breaks out in rashes when I wear them, Backstory my husband was married previously and her ring was stunning (his mom still has photos of them) it was like the dream ring, she got to go ring shopping with the mother in law and my mother in law paid for it as a gift to her, over 6k and mine wasn’t even $200, it makes me feel cheap and like second best I know it’s not a game of who’s is bigger, but ffs his financial situation is exactly the same if not better, they have no children and marriage was less then a year, we have children and have been married longer then I can count on one hand, I’ve stated many times how much I hate my rings to the point i no longer wear them now at all, my grandmother even offered her rings to me to be resized to fit me and he said no, it doesn’t have as much meaning because he didn’t buy them, I honestly feel embarrassed the ex is still wearing them an I don’t even have a ring on my finger that I can be happy and proud to see daily"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"From his side, he probably just thinks that since this is his second marriage it’s not that big of a deal. As far are your grandmas rings… I’m not sure why he’s getting upset saying it’s not meaningful since he didn’t buy it, but yet his mom is the one who bought the ex wife’s ring??? Doesn’t make sense to me. I would tell him unless he’s buying you a new ring, you’ll be taking your grandmas. Just because he’s been married before and it’s not a big thing to him doesn’t mean it isn’t for you."
"So buy new rings? My rings were not expensive, around $50 for both of mine and my husband's and they are gorgeous. If you’re not happy, do something about it."
"You’ve every right to be mad but think of it this way hers was a gift but your husband bought you yours so yours is more meaningful"
"I feel like his 1st wife’s ring has nothing to do with him, his mom picked it out and paid for it. You don’t know what he went through and what he saw when he found the ring for you… It came from him and that speaks more volume than coming from his mom… If you have the means to buy a new one I would bring up the conversation again and put it into works, but I would not get rid of the other ring I would simply wear it on my other hand"
"I overstand where you’re coming from. The ring is symbolic of love and he put no real love and effort into your ring. If he can’t see that, buy your own. If it doesn’t sit well with him, let him go find you something better. He’s being inconsiderate."
"I know it’s not materialistic things that matter… but I do see your point… it would definitely make me feel odd and I agree with you embarrassed. Has he given you a reason?"
"We were both married before. Both did the expensive ring thing. Marriages didn’t last. Our Marriage is BLESSED, dare say close to a dream come true. His ring was $12 and mine was $175. I love them. We chose to not have pricey rings since they don’t represent trust, love, friendship, or happiness. They are just rings. We LIVE our lives happy… that’s the important part. We spend time together, making memories. I’d rather spend 10 days in Hawaii together making memories than spend that money on jewelry."
"Talk to hubby about this. If you want a more expensive piece set up a payment plan or whatever to make that happen."
"My original wedding set was a family heirloom that completely wasn’t something that I loved. It was pretty enough, but not at all my style or color (I like white gold/silver, it was gold), so last year when I lost a tiny side stone, I took the liberty to order a CZ ring that I LOVED. I picked it out and bought it myself, but I don’t think it has any less meaning because I did that. Make yourself happy, even if it’s with a knockoff diamond. There are some really great ones out there."
"I think the most important thing is that your relationship is thriving. You say their relationship only lasted a year, but she had an expensive ring gifted to her. You have a ring he picked just for you, and your relationship has years on it. Maybe talk to him about all of this, but dont let it ruin the relationship."
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