My Fiancé and I just moved to a new neighborhood this past year and also had our 2nd child. There was a big neighborhood party he was supposed to accompany me to but he had a work party scheduled the same day. Even though I haven’t been out in months due to a difficult pregnancy and new baby I told him to go to his office party but leave at 8 and take me to the neighborhood party albeit a bit late. 8:20PM comes around and I get a text from him. It’s a female coworker of his on his phone asking if I will be at the next company party. Why was she on his phone? That’s absurd. I’ve never even met the woman. Well he stays out until I yell at him to come home. I went to the neighborhood party for a few minutes alone. After I get back he comes home wasted and doesn’t say a word to me and sleeps in his car. My question is, is he cheating? Having an emotional affair? What should I do? Thank you. Never thought I’d be in this position.
OP UPDATE
No he normally doesn’t drink. But he’s been working late a lot. Of course I talked to him and asked him and he vehemently denies any cheating. Normally I would never think he’s cheating but I don’t want to be stupid and write off red flags. And no he didn’t drive home. He Ubered and then slept in his car for whatever reason.
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I’d be very sceptical that’s for sure.
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I would keep it all in the back of your mind. There is a very good possibility he is. Is it normal for him to come home wasted? Is that new?
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I would be skeptical for sure as well. Is this new behavior or something new ?
I would definitely approach it like an adult and sit down and ask him. You should be able to tell from his reaction.
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Coming from someone who has been in this situation with my ex I was instantly skeptical and I stayed back to watch and wait. If they dont think they are under suspicion they will keep acting up. Eventually the truth will come out… If you notice any further behavioural chages then its safe to assume the worst. I know sometimes its not black and white but if it means you being potentially spared this in marriage then id keep your eyes open. Even emotional support from the opposite sex can lead to physical and if he truly loves you he wouldn’t be going to someone else for support except you.
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Go to his job and talk to the girl
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Why are you asking a group of strangers online if your fiancee is cheating? If you don’t feel comfortable asking him a direct question/ don’t trust him/ don’t feel that he respects you, perhaps you aren’t ready to be married and start a family together. Not at all trying to be critical or judgey, just saying.
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I tend to over react but if my fiance did this… I’d figure out who the whore was. While he was sleeping in his car id slash his tire. Toss his shit in the front yard. Disrespect me he would learn Real quick!!
I would be upset too. Nobody should be on his phone but him. And if he wasn’t guilty of something, he would have came in the house and talked to you.
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Sounds like he’s cheating on some level or he at least is wanting to. Get all of the evidence you need to prove whatever is going on, get your ducks in a row, and then confront him and the situation.
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Cheating. That woman sending the text knew exactly what she was doing.
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Yo I would have been showing up at the MF work party! Like what’s up buddy!
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Umm that’s red flags for sure girl ugh makes me want to slap him for you because that ain’t cool!!
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Ask him. We dont know him. I mean it was a party so i dont think its unreasonable for him to get drunk (especially if its on his employers dime). And i went to a work thing at dave and busters before. A male coworker took me since it was while my boyfriend was at work. When we got back to work i just slept it off in the car til my boyfriend got off work. Just because he was drunk and with a woman doesn’t mean he cheated. And if shes using his phone, texting you, and making it obvious that is a woman then i would think shes being a little to obvious for anything to be going on. But really he is your man and it all depends on if you trust him. Ask him and if he says he did something, then you have your answer. But if he says no and you still dont believe it then end it because obviously you dont trust him then and of you dont have trust then you don’t have a relationship.
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My hubs did soooo many shady things when I was pregnant with my first baby and after she was born he wouldn’t help with anything and get frustrated with her easily , I ended up asking him if he wanted to leave and he did. He said he wasn’t happy. He was gone for about 3 hours and came back crying and saying how sorry he was and that he doesn’t know what was wrong with him and he just was scared and uncomfortable with the baby and all the things that have changed. He promised to change and he has, he’s been a totally different person ever since. So maybe sit him down and talk to him ask what is happening and why he did that and flat out ask him if he’s unhappy or cheating. I also would ask if he’d be comfortable if you behaved like that and what impression it would give him.
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Honestly… She may have just wanted to meet you and baby. So maybe she was curious if you would be there or not, so she could meet you both. I agree she shouldn’t have been on his phone, but it could be nothing.
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In my opinion anyone past high school that lets someone of the opposite sex use their phone to contact that persons partner has something going on.
She doesn’t need to be on his phone and he shouldn’t let her. And her “are you going to be at the next party” seems kind of like a slap in the face considering you haven’t even met her.
I understand why he may not have said very much to you if you yelled at him but sleeping in his car seems like a bit much when the whole thing could have been avoided if he would have shown up when he was supposed to.
I’d ask him his side of the story and go from there. That’s really all you can do.
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Well sounds to me like he just got drunk and carefree, and so did his coworker. Sometimes things seem worse than they are. But you should talk to him about it though
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Confront him and the chick
Does any woman on here have their act together? All I see are ignorant women, complaining every single day and asking for advice that any normal person can figure out on their own.
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I would call the chick and ask why the hell she feels she can u his phone to ask u anything. Maybe do some PI work first
Soooo he drove home completely wasted??
Sounds super mature…
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Sounds like a cheater lay down the law or give his ass the boot
Why would she care if you were at the next work function in the first place, if she has never even met you. Only reason I can think is because she wants him or has already had him. Wtf! Not cool
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Be upfront with him. Ask him straight out. Never sit back and just assume it will take up space in your mind and you will never have peace. Express your concerns to him. It could be nothing, it could be something but sitting back to wait to see isn’t the way to go. Be calm though. Don’t let the inner crazy out until absolutely needed
He was drunk and the coworker took advantage. Yes she looking so yes you should’ve been at the company party. Be careful he probably not cheating but there is a home-wrecker with her eye on him.
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She got her eye on him. Make sure your ass is at every party here on out. Mark yo’ territory girl:)
Just ask him. Don’t beat around the bush, don’t just sit there & assume, talk to him. Then after you get the answer tell him he’s a f**king idiot for driving home completely wasted. He could have killed himself or someone else.
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Idk maybe id be a little jealous or insecure at the moment …specially while preggo.but i know my man has co workers. Ive met a few and heard a few through phone. Not worried about them. Ita ok for my dude to have co workers acquaintances .maybe everyone was drinking and he was talking about u. Maybe he always talks about u and home girl was like well when u gunna bring her around. …i always like to meet my guys friends gf’s.specially for dinners n drinks or smoke n movies. But idk thats just me.
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My man slept in his work van before bcuz i went bat shit crazy lol. I was warm
But then id always do my research one time. Keep it in back of my head and watch him…but not stress out n hurt baby or myself over it. My life saying is NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS ME AND MY KIDS WILL BE OK
He’s either cheating or about to… I’ve went through this and he ended up cheating…
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I’d wait and calmly ask him what was up with this text. Don’t freak out and think he’s cheating, prepare that he might have.
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Mmmm…bitches are scandalous. I would try and talk to him when he’s sober. I’ve had other women do shady shit before.
OP UPDATE
No he normally doesn’t drink. But he’s been working late a lot. Of course I talked to him and asked him and he vehemently denies any cheating. Normally I would never think he’s cheating but I don’t want to be stupid and write off red flags. And no he didn’t drive home. He Ubered and then slept in his car for whatever reason.
Maybe when hes at work bring him some food and see what’s goin on…maybe he was just drunk and k.o from arguing if so…
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It just seems weird to me that he slept in the car but idk maybe he couldn’t make it to the door you should just tell him how you feel girl
Seems shady. Why would this girl text you from his phone?? And why did he sleep in the car? Dont marry him.
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He most likely is cheating, I’m so sorry… I’d WALK until BIG known changes start happening (for the better)
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Wow so he wasnt drunk and took an Uber home only to sleep in the car. Maybe you shouldn’t go digging unless your ready to really deal with what you find.
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Slept in the car because he cheated… sorry but seems fishy.
To play devil’s advocate, perhaps he was too drunk at the party and the person messaged you due to that reason, wondering if you would be there to “manage” him next time (though you definitely should not have to). Investigate to be sure, but don’t jump to the worst conclusions. He was definelty out of line with his behavior and it should be addressed.
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There’s no reason for another female to be on his phone. Whether he’s cheating or not.
Sounds like he guilty of something.i has it done to me. It’s hard to accept but when u know u know.
It’s not proof he’s cheating but, flat out, the girl texted you from his phone to intentionally disrespect you. A side chick will do this to give herself the idea that she’s superior enough in his life that she can use his phone whenever. She either wants to be a side chick or she already is.
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Why are you having his kids, it is obvious he don’t love you
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I’d show up at his work and say u were just checking on him or bring him some take out as a nice surprise this way it doesn’t look like your assuming but you’ll get your answers
If my husband EVER had some woman I don’t know text me from his phone… heads would ROLL.