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QUESTION:
"My husband and I just had our third child. We aren’t wealthy, both work full time and live paycheck to paycheck with not much extra to spend. I said that for Christmas we shouldn’t exchange since we have the kids and it’s just not necessary. He thinks we should but when I ask him what he wants he wants a baseball jersey that’s almost $400! I think that’s very unreasonable to ask for. We literally never go out and he wears uniforms for work. I’m going to buy it for him to maybe wear like once a year! Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to get this for him?"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"You are definitely not being unreasonable! He is! I’m all for only buying for the kids, especially when money is already tight. Dropping $400 on a shirt to never wear is a hard pass when you know how many diapers that would buy!"
"Yeah, I wouldn’t. Maybe save and get it for a bday or anniversary gift. The fact he even asked after your concerns… How many discussions do y’all have about money?"
"If it’s not necessary, then no. He’s a grown man and pays bills, so then he knows the struggle. Don’t feel guilty, does he plan on buying you a $400 purse or pair of shoes? Buy him something meaningful or useful n the rest for groceries or bills"
"No you are not if that amount of money isn’t being spent on the kids then why should it be for him he made a choice to bring these kids into this world to and that causes for sacrifices sometimes and sometimes it’s something we really want but if you already struggling then I don’t see why that amount would be spent on a Jersey you are in the right and he is being unreasonable it’s about them kids"
"Get him something, but i wouldnt spend $400 on him; it could be spent on the kids, which is what Christmas is for. Not to mention you still have bills due right after Christmas. Id get the jersey for him for his bday!"
"Yaaaaaa he needs to think more realistically. Personally if it was so bad I was considering no presents I’d say dollar store DIY. At least that way you’d have SOMETHING to exchange that’s meaningful."
"That unreasonable especially knowing y’all can’t afford it right now. He knew how much having another kid would cost so he has no right to act selfish or even be surprised."
"There’s nothing wrong with him wanting something for christmas, but a $400 jersey is not reasonable when she said they live paycheck to paycheck meaning after bills they have very little to nothing left and they just had a baby which means she’s probably not working yet."
"Wait for his birthday,"
"Maybe save up for a special birthday gift and choose something else. Tell him you want a gift list of some ideas and go from there."
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