I am conflicted on what to think about my husband’s behavior. Two years ago we separated after I found in the bills tons of txt messages and phone calls he was making to another girl whom he claims she is a bisexual. According to him nothing happen between them but is so hard to believe this because at the same time he had changed towards me. He made me feel like the most unattractive person ever. We stop being intimate and he will get bother if I call but yet he will immediately talked to this girl. So when I found out about her he denied he was talking to her. I immensely kicked him out. We reconciled 6 months after our separation. When we reconcile I asked him to see the messages between her and him but he had deleted all of her messages. The reason I wanted to see them is because he swears he never cheated so I never got any valid proof that he wasn’t cheating. We have had our ups and downs since we got back together and recently we had a baby. I felt in top of the world. Well this past weekend I found again through the bills he has being txting this numbers and he deleted those conversations. I confronted him about it but again he claims this are guys friends. When I asked him why he deleted those conversations and not the other peoples conversations he said it was because he knows I was going to get mad that they were talking about Pokémon’s! Really? He knows I don’t get mad about this because is his hobby. So again I am feeling heartbroken and today my baby had a well baby check up and I couldn’t help to break down in tears at the doctors office. I just told her it was because I have anxiety about Covid which I do but I know emotionally I am not well and I am hiding this from everyone. I want to separate but he claims he isn’t cheating. I am not sure what to do. In addition we have not been intimate because I can’t take birth control pills but I feel so unloved and I am craving his attention. I have noticed when he is home he prefers to be in another room and the only time we are in the same room is when we sleep or we are driving in the car. At this point I want to be okay for kids and myself. Be happy and just feel loved. I am not sure what to do. I am curious if this is cheating behavior? I guess I just need to make sure to move forward with the separation and is not just me over reacting.
So here’s my question above all else.
Can you trust him? Will you be able to learn to trust him?
If no, move on.
My ex cheated on me before we got married. The other girl told me they slept together (it was a hot mess). I forgave him, we got married. Two years in he’s cheating again. To this day, 9 years later if I ask him, he will still probably say no he didnt😅 even though again two of the girls came forward and told me while I was filing for divorce. I left him March 2014. Now, those two years were full of stress. The where is he? Who is he with? What is he doing? Who is he talking to? It was EXCHAUSTING. Not trusting someone is SO hard on the body mentally emotionally and physically.
Once I left him, that stress went away. I’ve been with my fiance now 8 years. We got together August that year. I did have trust issues at first but I couldn’t let my past interfere with my future. So I learned to trust him.
My point. If you can’t trust him or learn to trust him, regardless if he did actually cheat or not, you won’t be happy period. Time to move on.
It’s definitely cheating behavior. You should leave. Just for your own well being. Even if he isn’t cheating you should leave. You shouldn’t feel unloved in your relationship. You should feel established and know where you guys are at.
My heart goes out to you - truthfully I think you’ve answered yourself. Don’t talk yourself out of what is right in front of you. Liars always want to make you doubt what you inevitably know is true. The truth is set right before you. Even if he isn’t… is your relationship what it should be? Does he put you first and give you the love you deserve? Is he showing your baby how a husband loves his wife?
I am so sorry for your heartache momma. So many of us have stood there before and I promise you it’s so much brighter on the other side. Praying for you.
Im sorry to tell you but im sure he cheated the first time and im sure he is now . Nobody would delete entire conversations for no reason and especially the excuse he used ? Nope you can do better leave and enjoy your life and baby you shouldnt feel unloved and shouldnt be lied to and cheated on
Honey I feel your pain…my man has a girl that he claims is like a sister to him …swears nothing has ever happened between them,but yet she has messed up and told me that she and her son has spent the night here when him and I were having trouble…of course she also claims she slept in the guest bedroom…yet I can call him and he doesn’t answer,but as soon as she calls he jumps up for the phone…I have tried my best to tolerate her because she meant so much to him,but I found out recently that she was trying to kiss all over him at a Thanksgiving dinner he had at his office…mind you his mom was the one that told me…plus I have found text messages in his phone to her that doesn’t sound so sisterly…also I found out she has an issue with wanting men who are already taken…with that said though him and I don’t have children together…so you need to decide do you want your child to grow up watching you not be happy…I wish you the best of luck,because when you love someone it’s hard to just walk away…
You basically said it, you want to separate. So I would follow you instincts. You are not happy. You are not going to be happy. He is not going to change 5 years down the line ( and honestly do you want to feel unloved and unwanted that long?). You don’t need him to do something bad to leave so even if he isn’t cheating, you can still leave. Don’t look for a “reason.”
Your reason is already there. This relationship is not giving you a sense of peace and love.
Hes cheating. Why are you giving all these chances? If it meant something to him to change he would. No need to delete any messages, he clearly hides things from you. Move on.
Trust is every thing and if he can’t share every thing with you,then he has something to hide,get out while your baby is little and find some be worth your time.
Uhm…been there, 3 years later things are better but at the end of the day no matter how hard I try…I just don’t trust him & don’t know that I ever will again😔
I would go seek a good therapist your going to need one when you decide to do whats best for you and your family by leaving as he clearly still hiding things. Best of luck sweetheart …your gut usually knows best even if it doesnt want to know the true answer at the time hugs I don’t wish that pain on anyone it’s a tough one
I’ve been there , trust me he’s cheating. Get out while child is young . And don’t take him back
If he makes you feel that way, separate. There are better things in the world than to constantly worry about cheating
Forget about the cheating (which he’s doing), lets go to the “he makes me feel like the most unattractive person ever” then you immensely kick him to the curb only to get back together with him and have a child? cheating is one thing, intentionally attacking ones vulnerabilities as a smokescreen to hide your deceptions is the terminal charge here
He’s cheating. Dump him. They don’t change.
call the numbers, you have them on the bill. sounds like you need to get a man, not a kid who’s into pokemon lol
Separation doesn’t accomplish anything unless you’re actually DOING something to fix the issues. Go to therapy. Together and separately.
It’s apparent that he is NOT gonna man up and admit to cheating… idk why men/women continue to swear up and down even when the proof is in front of your face! So… you already know the answer, your just desperately trying to find a reason to stay cuz you love him. I understand. You so desperately want to believe he’s telling the truth but you already know… he’s lying. Yes move on. You deserve so much better than that! I know it’s hard when love and a child’s involved but you gotta make sure your ok before you can take care of anyone else. No trust… leave. Focus on your child and yourself and don’t give that poor excuse of a man anymore of your precious love or time!
I really wish you the best!
So obviously, the baby didn’t fix anything…
Call the numbers I’d call from his phone but I’m an asshole like that but you certainly call from any number and still get answers … see who answers … if it’s a man then maybe he’s being truthful if it’s a female he’s lying. Start there
Definitely cheating behavior
Just take the steps to leave girl.
Take it from someone who was a cheater he cheated and no one deserves that leave someone better will come along and love you right
If you need closure I heard there is a way to get the text messages sent to your phone by typing in his number on something. Im not really sure bc ive never had to use it. I told myself if I feel I need that tool then I need to end it for myself. But if it gives you peace finding out his secret then maybe you can look into it 
idk the name of this tool or website or whatever it is or I’d tell you. But for the record you deserve better. Nobody deserves to feel this way.
Omgosh 
you need to look at the facts and not be clouded by your emotions. Hope you figure it out
Just leave. You won’t ever trust him, and you shouldn’t.
Sounds like you already know . And answered your own question.
Tell him EXACTLY what you’ve said here. No one that truly loves you will want you to feel like that. And if he prioritises his chats over your feelings, you have your answer. I know it’s more complicated with children involved, but when you think about it, they deserve a happy mum.
ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT! Unfortunately, once a cheater will always be a cheater! 
once you find yourself deleting messages, and calls, well certainly you are already there. “Cheating”. I can completely understand how you want to keep your families together, but i am also sure your children would rather be raised in a broken family than watch their mother shed tears, unloved and mistreated by their father. Happy mom, happy kids.
Leave him and be happy.
You got the number text the other person and ask them if he is cheating their not going to hide it
Sounds like you can’t trust him and for good reason. Unfortunately people will treat you how you allow them to treat you. You forgave him for this behavior once so to him you “allowed it”. You can leave him and feel hurt and sad for awhile or you can stay with him and feel hurt and sad forever. Trust me when I say I’ve been there before but you will never be able to heal from this as long as you stay in this situation. I do believe eventually you will be able to make that decision and after some time passes and you realize that he is the one who lost you and you find yourself again… nothing is greater than that feeling and you will probably wonder why you didn’t do it sooner! 
Life is too short and nobody is worth wasting your precious time over.
His lips are moving, he’s lying!!
If you REALLY want to know - grab the Bill and call the numbers.
Honestly it’s impossible for others to know… lots of behaviors can point to
Cheating but you won’t ever KNOW without honesty. The fact you have no trust … does it matter what happened? You are unhappy, he doesn’t change behavior to work hard at making you happy, that’s reason enough to leave. Life is SHORT , too many people settle for a lot less than they deserve.
Cheating or not, this does not sound like the relationship for you. You need to be happy and feel loved for your child. Not stay somewhere you don’t feel love.
If you don’t trust him, there’s no relationship left to salvage, whether he was cheating then, now, or not at all. Move on.
You caught him having an emotional affair before and you are noticing the same patterns, you don’t feel like you can trust him now. A relationship is not sustainable without trust.
Regardless of it being cheating behavior or not, you deserve more. If you want to be happy and set a good example for your kids and you think leaving him will help bring you that, then leave.
He isn’t treating you right (at least from what this post is saying)
Kick him out, once and for good
I’m sorry girl but it sounds like he’s still cheating. You deserve better
Kids need to see a happy mom. If deleting mesgs he has something to hide.
You sound paranoid about him cheating. If you don’t trust him where is the relationship? Why were you going through his bills and questioning his friendships in the first place? It must be pretty miserable for him. Do you have evidence of him cheating like him spending money or lots of time away from you? It sounds like you either need to let it go, or both find new people.
Call the numbers. That is the only way you will find out for sure since he doesn’t want to tell you.
Your child is better off with 2 happy parents being a mother you need to make yourself happy to make your child happy that child vibes off of you.
U deserve better …
He doesnt make u feel wanted …
Being on the phone hiding an texting or texting in front of u is totally disrespectful an he chooses to ignore u because he is attracted to u …Above all the things u mention is enough to show he is constantly cheating ,
sleeping in the bed with u an being in the same car means he is just doing it for purpose sake but in the end he just dont care an isnt attracted to u…
Then he needs to come clean an tell u as it is an move on…
I think you already know the answers. But, if u want to know, for sure, call the numbers where he deleted the text messages and ask whomever is on the other line. If need be, use your husband’s phone.
When you forgive them and let them back in your life it’s like giving them permission to cheat they will do it again and again…
Call the number and ask how they know your husband…
Definitely sounds like he is cheating. Instead of fighting with him…. Just bite the bullet and call the number.
Let’s be real…. You don’t call because you know what you will find when you finally call. So you need to make a choice. Stay with him or dump his lying shady ass or stay with him. Those are your choices. Yes the both suck but you won’t be able to find happiness until you make the hard choice. You obviously don’t trust him. That will never change. Especially because he can’t prove that he isn’t cheating. If he wasn’t cheating or doing something wrong then he wouldn’t be deleting messages and he would let you read them- don’t even bother accusing him anymore. Just tell him he’s being shady and he needs to prove that he isn’t a lying cheating home wrecker and prove that he’s worthy of you or he can get the hell out. Just make the right choice for YOU! And call those numbers! (Remember he is the one being shady…. He cheated. Not the person on the other side of that number)
once a cheater always a cheater . you need to dump this guy unless you can take this behavior for ever
If he is deleting conversations, he is still cheating because he is hiding something. If he needs to hide it he knows it is wrong.
Go with your gut and dump the douchebag.
Regardless if he’s cheating or not - you’re miserable and you don’t trust him. It’s time to let it go and move on.
You can get the phone company to print out the conversation even if he deletes them they keep a record for law enforcement and if he is doing it through wifi u can get a copy of all activity from ur router or wifi company whatever is easier for you 
some of us don’t play those games and will be happy to catch him slipping with you because you deserve better and postmortem is hard enough
If you have to question his shady deleting, then it is time that you file for custody of the kids and leave him for good. Move on with your life.