I am conflicted on what to think about my husband’s behavior. Two years ago we separated after I found in the bills tons of txt messages and phone calls he was making to another girl whom he claims she is a bisexual. According to him nothing happen between them but is so hard to believe this because at the same time he had changed towards me. He made me feel like the most unattractive person ever. We stop being intimate and he will get bother if I call but yet he will immediately talked to this girl. So when I found out about her he denied he was talking to her. I immensely kicked him out. We reconciled 6 months after our separation. When we reconcile I asked him to see the messages between her and him but he had deleted all of her messages. The reason I wanted to see them is because he swears he never cheated so I never got any valid proof that he wasn’t cheating. We have had our ups and downs since we got back together and recently we had a baby. I felt in top of the world. Well this past weekend I found again through the bills he has being txting this numbers and he deleted those conversations. I confronted him about it but again he claims this are guys friends. When I asked him why he deleted those conversations and not the other peoples conversations he said it was because he knows I was going to get mad that they were talking about Pokémon’s! Really? He knows I don’t get mad about this because is his hobby. So again I am feeling heartbroken and today my baby had a well baby check up and I couldn’t help to break down in tears at the doctors office. I just told her it was because I have anxiety about Covid which I do but I know emotionally I am not well and I am hiding this from everyone. I want to separate but he claims he isn’t cheating. I am not sure what to do. In addition we have not been intimate because I can’t take birth control pills but I feel so unloved and I am craving his attention. I have noticed when he is home he prefers to be in another room and the only time we are in the same room is when we sleep or we are driving in the car. At this point I want to be okay for kids and myself. Be happy and just feel loved. I am not sure what to do. I am curious if this is cheating behavior? I guess I just need to make sure to move forward with the separation and is not just me over reacting.