Those of you saying CPS will do something. I am in the field. As long as child has what they need and there is no neglect they won’t do anything.
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If your husband doesn’t pay child support for his kid then he should be helping out financially. It’s still his kid. How they choose to co-parent with financial responsibilities is between them. Sounds like your husband is already doing what he should to help. Why would you think he gets to negate his responsibility as a father?
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Do you want the child full time… if so fight for him/her…but other the that let him handle it or you will be the bad guy
Take her to court and get child support ordered on him. Just do it. It’s an automatic withdraw and it’s done. Thennnn she will literally never be able to keep the child from you because there will be a paper trail and that’s when they will do court ordered schedules for the child too.
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He needs to go to court to either set up visitations, get 50/50 or full custody.
It’s up to him but, yes he should always help if she ask.
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Either file for custody or get set up on a monthly child support with a set visitation schedule
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Sounds like a visit to a lawyer is in your future. Time to remove the baby from the slacker mom?
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Your husbands job isn’t to support her. It’s to support the kid.
Get a court order established and tell him to stop giving her money at will.
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How do you know she’s doing all of this in front of her child? Did you see her do it? Did someone tell you she’s doing it or are you just assuming, because you don’t like her?
It’s THEIR child. Not yours. Let the parents deal with it and mind your business. You married the man.
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You think $160 a month and diapers and clothes is enough to contribute? Who cares about pot these days? She shouldn’t be smoking around the kids I’ll give you that, and she shouldn’t use the kids as weapons. Other than that though who cares? I say take her to court and establish a custody agreement so she can’t use the kid as a pawn. She sounds like a total bitch I get it. You’re just focusing on half the wrong things.
Girl it’s his responsibility to help out with his daughter it makes 2 to make a child but about the gas money probably once in a while is okay but not all the time and smoking weed ain’t as bad as long as her kids are getting fed theirs a roof over their head Theirs nothing anyone can do smoking weed is legal
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Get a court order then she can’t stop him seeing her. Also if she’s drinking and smoking pot around them, try for custody.
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This is why the state getting involved is the best option so she can’t keep the child from him because child support and visitation don’t have anything to do with one another. Also getting it clear how much custody each has will help as well so it’s clear he can see his own child without threats or bribes. I don’t care what she does as she should support her children as well but to force him to do all this for her would be considered a gift to the courts and not child support. It looks good but it’s frustrating that she can claim it was all a gift and get back child support because it’s not going through the state as it is. This father needs to get his ducks in a row before she screws him over big time with this!
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Noticing a lot of comments trying to somehow put blame on the husband or make the OP out to be nasty? Yes a couple things she said was not needed however the way I’m reading this is she’s got a full time job, (I’m assuming) saving on huge rent or mortgage payments with living with mother and is spending a lot of that money on booze and cigarettes without thinking about what children need? A lot of you also have somehow skipped part where she says husband buys the child’s nappies , clothing etc Or am I wrong?.
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I would ASK YOUR HUSBAND AS LONG AS SHES DOING POT AROUND THE KIDS THAT HE DONT NEED TO HELP HER.if she got money for weed she got money for daughter stuff
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He’s fuelling her fire, you have every right too feel the way you do
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Get child support started and a custody schedule through the courts.
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…how?
That a man takes responsibility and put in toward his child??? I can assure you that while he might buy nappies etc, she is still spending money…
While I don’t agree with her smoking around the kids, there are alot of people that do that and alot of people that do shit things around their kids.
…he’s taking responsibility of his child, that he made with his ex. It’s up to her what she does with the money. She may not take that exact money to go get things for the kids, but she will have used something to get stuff…unless she is stealing it, it ain’t free. She is working full time and mumming still. I don’t know why its necessary to point out that she has 2 other kids with different dads, unless you don’t understand the concept of sex with different people (sometimes, people find more than 1 person in a lifetime that want to have sex with them sarcastism) and the fact that she lives with her mum, awesome for her!!! To be honest, you sound like a judgemental person who doesn’t understand the cost of living at the moment and while I agree that she shouldn’t smoke or drink if she can’t afford it, you dont know that her mum isnt giving her the money and she is buying it for her…there is alot of scenarios that could be happening here… if you’re concerned…give her fuel gift cards, or specific gift cards or pay directly to a company…then you know exactly where it’s gone.
Depending on the state he can get an officer to escort him to her place to get the child. Very dramatic, yes. But so his withholding someone’s child bc you’re upset
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Child support doesn’t mean you get to decide how the money is spent. He needs to pay a set amount each month that they either agree on or the courts decide without YOU getting in the mix and then go with it. It’s not child support if he’s “buying what she needs.” That’s considered gifts. I have in my court statements lol. However, her money doesn’t matter. What matters is how she spends the money HE gives her for child support.
Now if y’all want full custody, go for it. Keep your proof however you got it. Until then, just mind your business. If they’re in danger then it’s his obligation and yours to do something.
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Court order so she can’t hold the baby from him
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I would keep track of how much he gives her for extra, and if she tries to fight him on support and custody then you have proof of goin way beyond the childs needs. I would fight for full custody and create a good stable parenting plan that would go beyond what BM is doin. Plus i know in some states pot is illegal, if he can proof that its done around the children she could possibly have them taken away. Plus if shes waisting money on drugs and alcohol and still wants more, then i wouldn’t be giving her anymore money, then if she denies visitation because of that then its time to file for full/primary custody, even then since she has a court order she can’t deny visitation. If she does then document everything, she will lose everything if she goes against it.
If he is buying wipes, diapers and clothes then he’s supporting his child. He definitely DOES NOT have to give her a dime!! He needs to go to court and get a court order for parenting time and or get custody if she’s in fact drunk everyday and smoking weed is legal in most states… it takes 2 to raise and support a child but in NO WAY does he owe her shi*!!! You have a say in this because your married to him and it’s your business because your married to him.
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I say let the state handle it. Talk to your husband & have him keep texts & calls & everything else that you guys might need. I feel bad for her children.
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Is he paying child support? If so, I wouldn’t give her another dime. If not, why not!?
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Court & document every transaction with her
You not wrong for feeling the way you feeling. I would be pissed too. I pray he reach that point to want n change the situation
Get a lawyer and go to court
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Is he paying child support monthly? If he is not, then gas money and diapers is not enough.
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If hes not paying child support get that in order
Outside of that dont you get your p#nties in a twist cuz hes providing for his daughter regardless of her moms situation or choices
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He is with you, that’s in his past
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Have you and your husband thought of going for custody?
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Nuh he should be only paying for his child. Not her. She’s clearly spending all her money on her habits then she is her own children and is getting him to pay everything else. That’s what it looks like to me. I’d be discussing with him and stating to not give her any money anymore and if the child needs anything then HE will go to the shops and buy exactly what the child needs that way she can’t use the money for anything else.
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I’d be going to court for custody or at least 50/50.
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It seems like you’re really into her private business. Her living in housing, recurving food stamps, how much she receives in child support from the other father etc means nothing. Your husband fathered this child. Buying diapers, clothes, occasionally gas isn’t even putting a dent into supporting his daughter. She’s also allowed to spend money on herself. I bet your husband has a drink occasionally & probably other things. You just think it demonizes her because she’s the mom.
Your husband is the parent. He shouldn’t be “helping her out”. He should be supporting his daughter. Stop being a jealous child & support him in parenting his child.
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None of your business
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File for visitation go to family court
Leave him, that kid deserves a future step mom who is sooo much better than you. You who bash’s the mother on the fucking internet to set the stage for her being the bad guy for having your new guys child. “She’s bad, and needy, and I’m right, right guys?” Absolutely pathetic
Get a child support case opened so he pays that support and only that support. Also get custody, partial if the child has her own space in the grandmother’s home, and full custody if she does not. The mother can’t use that child as a pawn in her game if the custody is not written down on legal documents. In most places if he is on the birth certificate and custody has never been established in court then he can literally take the child for a visit and not return the child and then file a motion for custody from there.
Yes because if he had to pay child support it would be way more than that at least $100 a week which is $400 a month and that’s a very low child support I don’t think she’s asking for much and I think her private life is her private life not yours and if he doesn’t mind you should mind it is his child and he has to support his child
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Do you have absolute proof she is doing these things? I certainly hope so. If so gather all evidence and go through court.
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First get a parenting plan, visitation, in place. Secondly establish child support, he pays that an nothing more. Thirdly, if she breaks your parenting visitation it’s contempt of court an she will be charged with it, an face losing custody because she’s not doing what in the child’s best interest. Best of luck to ya!
Some of you woman are awful on here… No woman should be threatning the baby daddy saying if u dont give me money u wont see your daughter that is childish… Plus his already buying what that child needs she has a full time job so she should be using that money on herself not his money… if she wants weed and alcohol she can buy that with her own money… tell your husband to go to court and go on the child support system…
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Get custody of the child. I don’t understand why people allow someone else to raise their children this way. You’re pissed because he’s helping her when she’s obviously not stable but you’re doing nothing but providing her a way to continue her lifestyle. You think you’re pissed think about how those poor children feel
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Mind your own business its not your child and you all up in her buisness like wtf cringeworthy …she has a full time job that I’m sure pays for the stuff she decided to buy for herself …you don’t like it ? Tell him to let her take child support out trust it will be way more than diapers here and there
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So she has a full time job, gets food stamps, AND $160 a month from her oldest child’s dad?
She should be set for life… 
It’s up to your husband to file for his shared custody or visitation AND he should be paying actual child support which I guarantee will be more than the diapers and gas money she asks for 
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Go to court. Get a child support order and pay what is fair.
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So sad to see everyone offering for a man to try and take a woman to court to get a fair order of custody/child support. You can really tell how few people here understand the first thing about how family court is towards men. Gonna need a mountain of evidence to get any true chance in court.
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Go get child support set up and tell her that’s all she gets. My ex husband doesn’t have to pay child support but he and his wife help me when they have the spare money to make sure I can get what his daughter needs.
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For anyone saying I don’t know how the court works for the dad… been there a lot so I do. Mine child father got his cs lowered to $20 every week to every two weeks. So I would say the courts aren’t being mean to him. Have him go to court and get his stuff together so he can regularly see his daughter and have a set pay. Stop putting the child through the mothers bs to avoid going to court. It’s affecting her too not being allowed to see her dad and she doesn’t get why. If he’s not doing this, then it might be that he feels or knows he is giving less then what he would have to. Which would a really junk reason for not doing so and that child deserves better than that. Either way, it’s not your place to get mad when he had this child before you and this is the system he has in place. If you didn’t like it, you shouldn’t have stayed.
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He needs to go to court and get a custody and visitation order. And a child support order. That way she will get what is mandated and that way she can’t deny visitation and if she does, he can violate her. That way he’s covering himself and he’s protecting the visits with his daughter. And there is no reason for you to feel selfish. It’s frustrating that he gives into her and gives her money to help her when clearly if she can afford pot and alcohol she doesn’t need that much help. It’s not like your upset hes supporting his daughter. Your upset hes catering to her. I’d be pissed off.
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Go to court and get a court ordered support order and parenting time set by them. It will take care of these issues.
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I don’t like the fact that you threw her under the bus about her hobbies, sounds like you’re trying to build a case against her. If she’s smoking now, she was probably doing it when she laid with your husband. Whatever agreement they had/have, if he feels he needs to revise it, then he need to do it otherwise it sounds like he’s ok with it and if he is, then you have to be ok with it as well. I’d be more concerned if he wasn’t helping with his child.
Child support isn’t just for diapers and clothes…the child needs a roof, lights, water, transportation etc so if the custodial parent is doing all of this, when child support does hit, it goes to the custodial parent because he/she have already provided the necessary needs for the child…or should have…I know not all do what they are suppose to do, so don’t come for me about it.
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Diapers and items are not support. Also everything you stated she’s doing is legal. He doesn’t have to give gas money, but he should be contributing financially every week. Pay for the medical insurance, half of all expenses, ect. Honestly you’re better off tossing gas money here and there if your not happy about finances.
I think he should get an attorney and take her for custody.
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Supporting your child is one thing, being baby Mama’s personal piggy bank is another!!
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Your husband’s daughter needs 2 grow up & support her own habits- in everything she does- & she needs 2 “”Get Off”” food stamps etc… & off of pot…why does she do that in front of them??
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First if all you sound awful for all the trashing you just threw out there. 2nd you’re the person that “married” a man with a pregnant ex gf or newborn. I bet you’re not even really married. 3rd he sounds like he’s fine with the arrangement so stop butting in like you know something. You never said he pays child support so he’s probably getting off easy with some diapers and gas money. Grow up and mind your business.
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However many kids she has with whomever is none of your business.
Whatever amount those dads pay is none of your business.
Where she lives is none of your business.
Who she lives with is none of your business.
I imagine you do not see her every day so saying what she does for recreation (healthy or not) is hearsay.
You married a man with a baby. I imagine this all just didn’t happen after y’all got married so if it bothered you then, you should have figured it out before you said “I do”.
Your man needs to go to court and get a custody agreement and a support agreement on paper. That’s how you solve that.
But here’s the thing… even after support (which is none of your business what she does with it), if that baby needs diapers or food or whatever else he should pay. Because babies aren’t pawns. They are real life innocent people who need things and just because one parent doesn’t fully provide those things doesn’t mean he can wash his hands of it.
You chose a man with that life. You did. So remember that next time you feel resentments.
Diapers and clothes is not food and a roof over his daughter’s head! He gives her the money because he’s not stupid and knows if she takes him to court he will have to give her a lot more than a pack of pampers and a couple of outfits a month 
Who cares about weed? That being said, if your husband isn’t paying ordered child support then yes he should be giving her money to help with expenses. Expecting her to abstain from smoking weed and drinking just because your husband gives her money to help raise the child that they have together is ridiculous. He’s probably getting off easy payment wise. It’s gross to go on about what a terrible mother she is and how badly the child has it when you are more worried about money and not focused at all on helping the actual child you claim is being neglected at the hands of a big bad weed smoker.