OK so my husband has a baby momma who has 2 other kids from 2 different dudes. She lives with her mother who lives in housing apartments and gets food stamps and child support from the oldest $80 bucks every 2 weeks I believe. She is 30 years old has a full time job and always asks my husband for gas money or anything she needs…now my husband and I buy the diapers and clothes everything for his daughter and if she doesn’t get her way she doesn’t allow him to see her. She smokes pot around her kids she buys alcohol almost every day and she still wants my husband to help her out. It’s annoying to me but I feel selfish because he gives her the money anyways and It bothers me so much and I feel ugly about it any thoughts ?
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Do they have a court order? If not have one put in place. That way it’s set in stone black and white.
Get a lawyer file for custody
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You guys should go to court and get some custody, and have the courts deal with child support.
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She’s definitely taking advantage and I would be upset too.
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Def take it to court so she can’t withhold his child just bc she doesn’t get her way and he shouldn’t be giving her gas $, it isn’t his place to keep her up,
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Definitely go to a lawyer and start the process. Be shouldn’t be paying her anymore then court ordered anything needed outside of that is her responsibility. If she’s buying weed and alcohol she has money for gas and everything else
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Is Dad paying her child support? Definitely need to consult an attorney and if drugs are being used in the children’s presence this is grounds for an emergency hearing but be prepared most judges will order drug tests for mom and dad if any allegations of drug abuse are brought up
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Get him to file for a custody agreement.
Confront both, enough is enough.two other baby daddies, she’s probably using all of them.
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Mind your own business. Let your husband deal with it.
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I see both sides because I am a baby mama lol but I’m also a gf to a man that has a baby mama. I get the frustration but if she messages my man and needs gas or food or anything we go help her he tells me and I choose to help her. It’s hard for single parents I have been one sometimes u just need the help but keeping the kids from him is not okay. Definitely get a court order I don’t see an issue with him helping her at all but her keeping the kids is not okay if he’s doing what he’s supposed to do as a dad.
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Go to court and get child support and visitation set up.
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Stay out of it. This is your husband’s business.
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Perhaps know yourself well enough not to get involved with a man with an ex babymama because it’s his money and he can do with it what he wants
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Go to court get visitation and child support order.
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Is your husband paying CS? If not then he should be! $80 every 2 wks for 2 kids is nothing! It’s his responsibility to take care of his kid!
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Keep receipts for all monies given to her.take her to court for visitation. Let the attorney know she smokes weed. That will rock her World
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If y’all were that concerned you making this case to a judge
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3 kids by 3 men and your husband is one?
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He’s obligated to support his child. Doesn’t matter what she does, where she goes, who etc
He’s obligated to his child.
I would do it the legal way, get a judgement and a payment plan and that’s how you do it.
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Then he will not have to give her gas money, she wants extra for weed money and beer.
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child support is a joke in most cases. but as a baby mama & a stepmother, stay out of that.
your husband & her after you figure it whether they get the courts involved or not. your opinion & feelings will not matter in the courts eyes.
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Sounds like they have agreement between them because of his daughter but nothing legal with the courts because she can’t withhold his child without good reason she would be violating a court order if they have a legal custody agreement through the court
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Take her to court
Call dhs
Hopefully you have photo documents of all things purchased n conversations
Those kids need help file for custody of his
If other dads know maybe she is doing same.with them
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If it’s anything for the baby offer to pick the baby up and take them yourself. Anything she needs to buy for the baby, keep receipts of it. When she tries to keep the baby away. Document everything!!!
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This is her side of the story… BET she’s just bitter and jealous.
How the hell do you know if she’s buying weed and alcohol everyday? And if she is, that’s none of your business. If your husband doesn’t like the arrangements, then HE can work on fixing them. Not your business.
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Take it to court but also be aware if you’s are married depending where you live if your husband doesn’t make enough money or work I believe your income will be taken into consideration for child support. I would also go for visitation rights but not 100% sure how that’ll affect CS. Good luck.
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Go to court for custody, how could you let her take care of her. Document everything
Why are you stalking this woman ??? You know what she does and what she buys lol, stop stalking this woman and tell your husband to go to court for visitations and ou child support! Buying diapers and clothes is not child support
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It sounds like your husband is still messing with her
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I’d take her to court and get a court order. That way if she keeps his daughter from him you can take her back to court
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Firstly, the courts will NOT dictate how she spends child support.
Secondly, weed is legal in many places now so unless it is showing up in the kids they won’t do a thing about that. The problem here is he gives her money and you really don’t want him to. However, you have no say in the court’s eyes. It is between him and the ex. If he wants to give her money he will.
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If you have proof, I’d be contacted a lawyer after documenting the proof.
He needs to get custody !
File for custody of his daughter but have proof in hand on what she does around the child and keep record of what you all do for the child evidently for the mom as well and take note of when she refuses visits bc she doesn’t get what she wants. Every parent needs to be there for their child but not threatened. Do things the smart legal way and all should be good for this innocent child by both parents.
Take her to court if she’s that bad she’s not in a fit state to look after his child
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How do you know what she buys every day ? That’s really not your business. If she signs up for child support she might just get more than wht he’s actually buying for her. If he’s buying stuff for his kid I wouldn’t stress on it at all!
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First…start with your husband. Does he want to give her money? Obviously so! I mean she isn’t robbing him. And yet, he hasn’t taken her to court for custody or visitation. He can have the court put him on child support. Huh, you are worried about the wrong person.
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I would b mad too.I understand for him to buy things for his kid but giving her money hell no
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If there’s a court order she can’t stop him from seeing his baby
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My thought is … if she has money for weed and alcohol… she should have gas money.
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You’re blaming her when it’s him. 
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Regardless of anything he should be paying child support.
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If the dad hasn’t stepped in and taken her to court he sees her fit for his child. He’s still hitting it, this story is about to get much juicer 
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I would recommend having a visitation schedule set by the courts that both are legally bound by. This will at least help (hopefully) her not use the child as a pawn . As far as money , he needs a child support order to set a fair amount (determined by a judge) to pay for the baby . It may be more than he’s paying her now , but he has to support his kid .
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Get a lawyer, go to court establish a child support amount and a visitation schedule and stick to it. Problem solved
That’s what you get when you don’t go to court and secure your child’s future…sorry, no sympathy here…IF SHES THAT BAD AND HE HAS DONE NOTHING…NOW IS THE TIME TO APPLY FOR CUSTODY.
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Idk if what you say is true. Usually the New gf/wife is very jealous and doesnt want their husband to help their Kids at all and trash talks the mom. If all of that is true then why hasnt your husband tried to get full custody?
This is why fathers NEED to know their rights. So they don’t just buy it all, don’t keep the proof and are active in their lives just for the BM to yank them away. If he had proof, he could go file and get set visits that’s out of her control and prove how careless she is and not have to pay. He needs to file for his basic visitation or more if that’s what he wants, and pay CS. That’s the only way for her to not have control. I’m all for fathers helping but not when the BM are abusing that help.
I would not want my child to be with her by what you said should be more concerned with child’s well being than him giving her money and you need to talk to HIM about that
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I will never in a million yrs understand this!!! I would never ever ever ask my ex whom I have 3 children with for anything other then what’s ordered by the court and I dont even ask for all that he is suppose to pay half of any items/fees that I buy/pay for the kids and have never once asked my ex to do so. How on earth does one think that it is any where near appropriate to ask the other parent of ur children that u are not in a relationship with for anything like gas that’s just absolutely insanely crazy to me just crazy!!!
For one, keep receipts of everything y’all buy! Take her to court and get some type of visitation.
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He needs to file in court for custody or visitation. She is using his child to get what she want from him.
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The only way to make it fair is to go to court. Then at least you have paper to follow and she can’t keep the kids.
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He needs to take her to court and file for custody - he will need proof that she is smoking pot around the kids and drinking alcohol. That is the best course for him to take as it sounds to me like the baby’s mama is unfit and so is her mother!
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What is wrong with you two. I’d be more worried about the pot and alcohol everyday around my daughter. I’d be in court getting full custody. This poor child sounds like she is surrounded by irresponsible adults
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go to court call cps
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Ask for custody or go to court to set up child support and visitation rights .
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You cannot use the kids as leverage, which is what the mama is doing. It might be time to go back to court so that he can get custody and properly take care of his child. As far as I’m concerned from what I can tell she is unfit
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That child deserves better and your husband is doing the least allowing her in that toxic environment.
Get a lawyer and get custody or in the least visitation.
Tf 
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Have him pump her gas when she asks for it or buy whatever she says she needs and not ever give money
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Take her to court or you will do this for every
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If they don’t have a support order he better get one. If she ever takes him to court for support they can go back from the beginning to collect. And get a visitation schedule also.
He needs to take her to court… better yet call child services on her for smoking with kids around
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So you’re more worried about the money than the well being of his daughter? Yikes
He needs to take her to court , he can try to get custody of the baby or at least visitations establish by the court that way she can’t control him or using him .
Save any evidence, text , e mail, pictures anything that might be helpful in court
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If he pays support and he chaired arrangements stop giving her more. And when she withhold the kiddo take her to court for agreement violation. Time for this woman to grow up! I think you need to seek full custody of this child
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Yeah she’s using him for sure. He needs to get a custody agreement or something.
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If y’all don’t like what’s going on…then be the grown ups and start court proceedings to get what’s to be done by each parent in black and white.
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Is there a court order regarding custody and his visitation? If not, then he needs to take her to court. Once it is court ordered, he can file contempt of court. At this point, if you can prove illegal drug use in front of the child, he could get physical custody on that alone, assuming it is illegal in your state. If there is a custody order with court ordered child support and a set visitation schedule, document everything. You need to be able to show that this behavior is repetitive and interfering with his time with the child, THEN file contempt of court. One or two times isn’t enough to win contempt of court.
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You need to go to court and get an actual support order or she can take him to court and get $$ back to day 1. You should end up paying more than gas money and diaper $ but it would all be on the legal side and visitation wouldbe established. I would be more worried about the toxic living situation for his daughter right now.
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You need to go to court if you haven’t already. They will sort out child support and visitation . Once its legally sorted out…he pays the set amount and sees his child regularly or he goes back to court.
If he feels his child is in danger then its up to him to prove that and fight for custody.
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So your husband doesn’t pay support? He needs to take her court and get custody. If everything you say is true why would he not be getting a lawyer?
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If your have all your receipts, & proof of what shed doing go to court . Stop her whining
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Take her for custody
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You should really talk to your husband about this. Don’t let this slide… family or not
Document everything; receipts for whatever money he gives her, any proof of her smoking pot around the kids and then get a lawyer and file for custody and problem solved.
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Court will solve this issue real quick
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If he doesn’t have a custody agreement, he needs to have one. He needs to go to court where child support and visitation will be set. The environment the child is living in and her issues need to be brought up then. If the child is in an unsafe environment, CPS needs to be contacted. Document date, time and who is spoken with. They can do a wellness check.
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Does your husband have legal rights to this child? Is he on the birth certificate? If not he needs to stop giving her money, file for parenting rights.
My ex’s ex has a son who has at least 3 “Dads”. My kids father is his legal father. He paid court ordered child support, had visitation etc. He isn’t the biological father. She was always asking/demanding things from the other 2 to see 'their don’t. Repairs on her home, gas money, electric bills, car insurance, camp or sport fees etc. The child’s whole childhood was a scam for more money, more stuff. This woman could be doing the same thing. He needs to sue her for rights. Have him demand a paternity test. If he is the father he needs scheduled visits at a 3rd party location that can be documented like a police station, child swap location (I know some communities have these for DV cases. Idk about this circumstance.) Have him ask his lawyer to put that the baby can not call any other man daddy/dad or be led to believe their his father. Get first right of refusal too. I’ve learned it’s not all that usual for women to use their kids to scam men. Talk to him about protecting himself.
If the kid needs anything he can go get it n drop it off do not give her the money n go to court to get visitation rights or custody
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Husband needs to get custody.
I was the girl friend of a man with 4 kids from his past marriage, his kids were my kids and that mom would ask us for help we did, to this day she and i are friends
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Nope. Get a court ordered amount and pay only thqt
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Have the husband document whenever visitation is denied. Document any proof of the ex smoking pot around the kids. Any money he gives her, as support is pretty much hers to spend as she wishes for the child… and if support hasn’t been set, she can claim that the money was a gift. The clothing and diapers you purchase are for the benefit of the baby, so you should keep receipts. Once you have your ducks in a row, take the ex to court for a custody change.
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Go to court and get everything done by the terms
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I think that he should be able to help with the child. And that’s all he should be helping with. If you think she’s not using money how she should then I’d just make a care package for the child every other week. No money unless on a specific gift card. Diapers, wipes, clothes, etc.
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- He needs to let the courts know what’s going on
- He needs to file for custody of his daughter and make the EX pay child support
- He needs to learn to tell her no when she asks for gas money
( Unless there is something going on between the 3 of them ) - call CPS on her and tell them she is smoking pot around them they will give him his daughter that’s what happened with one of my friends .
Is he the legal dad if not Do Not Give In To Her and if so take her to court and tell them everything even if not still take her to court get a DNA done .
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He should take the matter to court while you mind your business. There’s always more to the story, and it’s hard to survive in a single income right now so if she’s asking for help, he should help. The only matter that should be your concern is him being denied the right to be in her life without her putting conditions.
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Let him go to court, get DNA test and if + pay court ordered child support and get court ordered visitation. Either do it the RIGHT way or be quiet.
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Take it to the state. CPS will take care of that! Also child support office and visitation rights should be observed without threats or bribes.
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Your husband needs to get a custody order in place. End of story.
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Her income has NOTHING to do with your husband paying child support. Sounds like you’re trying to make excuses why he shouldn’t be supporting his child. Buying a pack of diapers and a few clothes isn’t contributing shit for a child.
Don’t give her cash! No proof he is helping out. Later on she will go after him for back child support!
Better off going to court and doing this by laws!
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If she has custody of the child… he pays her so she can do whatever she wants… if the child is being taken care of how is it any of your business? Child support is for absent fathers… if he just sees her then it’s his responsibility to help in any way. (If mom asked for it) If he doesn’t like it go to court and they will still make him pay. It will just be a set amount.
If she’s unfit call cps and get a lawyer!
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