My sister in-law reached out and said she would like to visit from theCarolina’s and ring in the new year with us. We just had our second child this past Summer so they would like to meet her. She is a family of 5. Her kids are 16, 14, 11. They plan to stay with us. We are a family of four. With my 4 month old and four year old. We don’t have a big house. It’s a ranch size with 3 bedrooms and 1 bathroom, unfinished basement thats used for laundry and storage. They are staying for 7 nights! Am I over-reacting that I think it’s way too long?! A few days after they arrive my husband and kid go back to the work/school routine because the Christmas break is over. She says her kids will be missing four days but will probably have to do the makeup work on their laptops. My husband seems to have no care in the world. But all I’m thinking about is where is everyone sleeping? Do I have to provide all the meals and snacks for now, 8 people? Breakfast, lunch and dinner? What would we even do all week? Nothing goes on in January in NY, especially after new year’s. They would never pay to stay at a hotel (especially for a week) so that’s not even an option. I’m kind of annoyed that she doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Should I just suck it up and deal with it? We only see them maybe once ayear. I already feel stressed out about the holidays and now I have to stress about them visiting. Help! I need words of encouragement and/ or some meal ideas.
You’re being very dramatic. Its family you only see once a year. It’s only for one week. Give up a bedroom and the couches for your husbands family. Have a conversation with your SIL about the food situation. Before grateful his family wants to come spend time with you and your family and meet your new baby.
For 7 days I don’t think is big deal to move things around for your family to see you guys. Husband probably doesn’t have a care in the world because he wants to see his sister. I wouldctalk to her about helping with food and snacks. Do you not like her or something because that’s the vibe I was getting from this.
For 7 days I don’t think its a big deal to move things around. Family is important. Speak to your husband about money and costs for food etc
Maybe ask where they think they’re all going to sleep. Maybe ask about the food situation. It’s always better to post online instead of just simply talking to them about it 
I would do your best to have it set up for them and make as easy as possible. Get a plan and set out bedding , towels , extras in advance. Get some snacks and a few dinners then welcome them and go with the flow . If it gets to crazy make sure your room is clean and set up with a comfortable chair and tv , then take baby and go chill in your room with baby .
Probably best to suck it up and try to enjoy the company and make the best of it. Theyll probably end up doing their own thing alot of time. Especially if yoy have a new baby. Fingers crossed they want to help with meals. If i was going to stay with someone that long. I would definitely help with meals.
Not like they are moving in permanently. Suck it up be a host knowing they’ll be gone soon. We make room for our family.
Tell her it’s not a good time for you and learn to say no. People stop feeling bad for saying no it’s your life. Sis it’s not a good time for me right now. What’s her number I’ll call her
In my culture we just accommodate and make it happen especially if your only seeing them once a year, I’d have there beds ready and all. Once there gone there gone for another year so what’s 7days out of 365?. Where’s the warmth and manaakitanga? ( the process of showing generosity). Now if she’s useless and brings nothing then that’s when you say something but who knows she might show up and do a shop or buy dinner etc.
While it may be inconvenient, it’s doable with a little cooperation from your visitors. Suggest they purchase and bring at least one full size inflatable mattress with bedding. If you have a guestroom to accommodate the adults, a sofa and the inflatable should make the sleeping arrangements complete. Teens eat a lot, so plan ahead for easy to fix snacks. Prepare and freeze dinners (one every couple of days) ahead of time or buy the large frozen family sized frozen dinners. Tell your sister in law that she needs to bring additional snacks and drinks that her children like. It’s one thing to make space and time, but unless it is in your budget to feed an additional family for an entire week, you should feel comfortable telling them that they need to bring or pay for additional groceries. Try to enjoy yourself and not become overwhelmed. Do not feel guilty about excusing yourself to nap with baby.
No, this is going to descend into hell. I would suggest a couple of nights with you at most, maybe over the actual new year. You can get cheap rooms with twin queen beds and she needs to stay in one of those for the other nights. You can still meet up and do things. I think she’s forgotten naptimes etc and if you’re back to school/work, you’ll be too busy to entertain them anyway.
Just 7 days. Its family you dont see often. WoW how do you create problems?
Yes you are 7 days is nothing enjoy and embrace it
It’s a visit as you said you all only see them maybe 1 time a year. No need to stress. Tell her they are welcome to stay but there isn’t much room for them to sleep. Tell her your on a tight budget and will need help feeding everyone. Enjoy the time.
Make the memories!! Everyone will be out of routines and possibly uncomfortable but the memories are worth it! My favorite memories growing up are with ALL my cousins staying at my grandparents house. We had 74 people there one time. You couldnt find an open spot on the floor in the whole house! Best memories ever!!
Take a deep breath and make room for your husbands family. Her kids are older and can help to keep your children entertained and give you a break. I would keep your own kids in your bedroom for the week and let them stay in the two other bedrooms… also will help to keep your living area free of bags/clutter. It’s nice they want to travel from the Carolina’s to NY to visit. Take them into the city for the day, take a drive to CT for some amazing New Haven style pizza- do a few day trips to break up the monotony of things. Plan now for a few meals that are easy to make that you can freeze- ziti and meatballs etc…premade some pancakes for breakfast.
If it’s once a year, to meet the baby…sure it may be annoying but, if it were your sister or brother, would it be so bothersome? Or any of your family? Just wondering if you maybe don’t care for them? I get that vibe, but I could easily be wrong. Families usually accommodate to see each other if they actually want to.
Chili, soups and pastas are probably the cheapest to make lots. I would communicate with your sister about how you’re feeling and ask her if while she’s there she can help with meals and stuff like that. Teenagers have no problem sleeping on an airmatress, get a couple of those, you’re golden. Lol. You got this. Good luck
Is there more to the story? If not just deal with it I’m sure she’ll help you cook or figure out a sleeping arrangements. Does she have air mattresses? I’m sure they’ll bring blankets and pillows.
Talk to the SIL about how you are so happy she is coming to take some of the load off of you. You will be so happy to have her pick up half the cooking and other house work. See if she still wants to stay after that information.
Yikes! I feel your stressers especially with a new baby. 7 days is a long time. You are totally justified in how you feel. You are saving them an incredible amount of money either way. You should not have to plan dinner for 7 days. They can either take you and your family to dinner on their dime or they can make a few meals while providing their own ingredients. I worry that if they cannot see the inconveience that 7 days will bring to your household, they will not have the devency to provide a few meals. I do not like to burden anyone. That is how I was brought up. When I visit family about 4 hours away, several times a year, I get a hotel. Granted I am by myself with my dogs, but even with a hotel, you could still have one room with 2 kids for a few days. Try not to stress. It is once a year. I would definitely not tolerate more than that.
1.) 7 days is long imo for your house arrangement… not because of the people in general
2.) Look into big meals at Sams Club…(also would ask to pitch in or have hubs handle it)
3.) The obvious indication of going back to school and then staying at your home, I’d make suggestions places they could go see visit etc.
Maybe 
I’m just not into houseguest’s
Omg I haven’t seen my brother in 3 years, he lives in Alabama. We have 3 bedroom and are a family of almost 4 since my baby is due in 2 weeks and our 2 and a half year old. I would be so heartbroken if my fiance felt this way about them coming over. They are staying for 6 days and I am so excited. Not at all stressed. They are family. They are also a family of 4. I get to meet my baby nephew who is 8 months old and they will get to meet the new baby who will only be about a week old. Get over it girl!
My in laws lived with me for a couple months 
we are a family of 11 (9kids). They had 4 kids. So for 7 days no its not a long time. We did air mattresses
All I can say is boundaries. Honor yourself and your family. Explain to her that you would love to see them but it is not possible to put them up in your home. If they are not willing to go to a hotel then perhaps they will have to pass on the visit. It is grossly unfair to stay at someone’s home for a week especially with a new baby. I would not do that at any time.
I’ve taken my family to stay with my sister in New England who lives 1000 miles away from me. After I arrive at her house we take a trip to the grocery store together so this way she isn’t expected to fully feed my crew and my kids don’t eat her out of house and home. I help with cooking meals/ chopping vegetables and whatever else is needed for cooking and the kids can help with the dishes afterwards because they are old enough to load a dishwasher. We did blow up mattresses in the basement for sleeping. Her basement does have a second way out that goes directly outside to the back yard so I feel that makes it safe enough for sleeping. She brings down a space heater so that we aren’t terribly cold in the basement. On the day we leave we help strip off the sheets on the bedding to toss in her washer and deflate the mattresses.
It’s only once a year, I don’t think it’s a big deal.
Simply ask them to help plan meals. Let your children get to see their cousins. My cousins was my best friends growing up. It’s ONE WEEK out of an entire year ! Let them play. Destroy the house and make messes & MEMORIES.
I think sometimes we tend to forget tomorrow isn’t promised and kids are only little once.
Wow!! You sound lovely!
I’d definitely take a hotel if you were my sister. I’m sure family time isn’t important to you. Seems they are putting you out by loving and wanting to spend time with you 1 week a yr!
Can you please go see a dr. Maybe he can help you find your 
Considering the hotel bill for 7 days and a big family your probably saving them lots they can bring their own food.
7 days would overwhelm me! I agreed with you! Too long. I’d rather come twice a year for three or four days…
Pots of soup or beans n rice can feed crowds pretty cheaply, if they want big meals suggest splitting the cost of and preparation of said meal. God bless you and pray for guidance 
Did you even ask her to pitch in? It’s family. It’s the holidays. I’m sure she would be more than welcome to buy a meal or two. 7 days is literally nothing. It will go by so fast. She’s literally coming out of her way to be with you guys on the holidays. Please cherish ur family…you never know when they will be gone…
Sounds like you’ve over thought this. It might be one of those times you need to take a deep breath and chill. No one in their right mind would bring their kids to stay for a week and not contribute for food. Also, maybe your SIL is lonely or having a hard time and needs her family.
This is the same type of person that if the sister in tragically died…would be crying about not be able to see said person… it’s one week… yes the house may be crowded. But it’s one week. Ask them nicely to help with food. That’s not unreasonable. But suck it for a week. I lost my brother in law 29 years ago… and would give anything to have been able to have him and his family (if he had a chance to have one) for the holidays.
Life is short.
Set up a “ campground “ in your basement for the kids, they only need pillows blankets, give the adults one of the bedrooms. It’s only a week of inconvenience to spend time with family. You never know when it’s the last time you’ll see them
I would allow them babies to grow as big a village as possible regardless of if it’s inconvenient for me. This is what family does when they want you in their life they move things around to come visit and you deal with the stress because you should want your children to have close family.
Enjoy this week with family and make greats memories . You ll figure out how the rearrange your house for that time being. Don’t stress and enjoy the fact that your family wants to be with you and yours for the holidays . Cherish what you have while you still have it.
I say IF shes KNOWN for overstaying the welcome or not contributing to meals or anything then ya id absolutely have a conversation esp if ur husband all out refuses to! Just simply say w/ a baby in the house its hard/tough enough esp trying to but & make meals everyday /or you could say So have you planned out what meals your gonna be getting bcuz Im not familiar with or dont really have the means to accomodate 5/ however many extra people as my hands are full w/ the baby & all- Some type HINT like that SHOULD do the trick! I mean me personally?? Id NEVER wanna impose on someone like that esp w new baby & only 1 bathroom?! Yaaa NO! Thats way to many people for only Q bathroom household! I myself would WANT my own hotel room for that n other reasons! Idk boy Ig some people just either dont care/have any qualms about imposing for not only sleeping but food n all that too! Id feel ridiculous doing that & hey! Its your house yoyr allowed to feel how you want & if you say it in a tactful way esp about all those extra meals, dishes etc I really dont think she should have an issue w/ it but IF she does then clearly its gonna be a looooong week sadly!! If she blatantly refuses the hotel room then she absolutely NEEDS to contribute to all the extra meals at very least!! I hope you/hubby will at least be able get HER to make/cook least dome of them bcuz she cant really expect yoy to do all that too! Remind her how exhausting it can be w/ a new baby not sleeping at nite! MAYBE youll get lucky & thatll make her rethink that hotel room!! 
You only see them maybe once a year, but a week is too long??? You should be absolutely thrilled they will be there, that is your family!! If you can afford all the food or don’t want to cook for that many people I’m sure she’d be more than willing to help. That’s your husband’s sister and a week once a year is too long for you? That’s weird.
lol my family who lives in other states or hours would want us to stay with them. Personally I think you should be more welcoming.
Your concerns are valid. Have you explained how you feel to your husband? I would be worried that many extra people are going to mess up schedules or be loud when baby is sleeping.
I would gladly welcome my SIL and the kids for a week! We don’t get to see them much and we’d make it work. I also can’t imagine her or my BIL assuming we’d handle all the details like meals and whatnot. It sort of sounds like you don’t like her and it makes me miss mine even more!
7 days 1 time a year isn’t enough time to see your family. I would be grateful that they love yall enough that they want to spend it all with yall.
Tbh I’d allow it but I’d communicate my anxieties w the other family and see what y’all can do to
Make it easier on y’all. It sounds like they all just really miss each other.
Not a big deal but I would definitely make sure they are chipping in for food.
This is where casserole dishes come in very handy. Throw it in the oven and feed the whole table of kids for about $20.
Used to be $5 in the 90s but here we are. I’ve become my grandmother in the store remembering when she would trade eggs for milk and was appalled it cost $2 per gallon.
Set boundaries lol it’d not a year just say I don’t mind but like we’ll have to set up meal plans due to Christmas and funds being tight and maybe set up like both us making breakfast and stuff
It’s family, you make room for them. They probably don’t go on “vacations” often and are taking their time to visit with you, you should be happy.
Sleeping bags, pillows and blankets. Everyone on floor of unfinished basement. They dont like, too bad. Ask them to pay for groceries. It should all go ok
They will probably help out with the food and cooking that’s what my family would do
I’d also talk to her about the food and meal plans.
Talk with your SIL to brainstorm solutions. Maybe they take everyone out to McDonald’s for breakfast and everyone uses the bathrooms there to ease strain on your kitchen and bath.
Maybe you can borrow sleeping bags for the teens & preteens from friends or a scout troop so they can be rolled up during the day. They can even stay in the unfinished basement with a space heater. Borrow an air mattress for the adults, or take them to shop for one when they arrive if it’s out of your budget.
Come up with a schedule and list of chores so everyone pitches in. Set times when everyone picks up the house every day, when different loads of laundry will be done & by whom/which team/s. Adults can shower in the morning after everyone up gets a chance to use the toilet, little kids get baths during the day & teens shower at night. Might even be able to rent a port a potty, or if you don’t have close neighbors, the guys can pee outside.
Set hours for quiet time during naps or when work/school attendees have to sleep, kitchen & bathroom priority is for those going to school/work.
Have teams for dinners to shop, prep, or pay for delivery, carry out, or in-restaurant. Set a budget limit & make that part of the challenge. Buy bulk apples, bananas, rice, noodles, bread, eggs & cheese for cheap & easy meals. Offer water & teas (hot, iced, decaf & herbal) in pitchers for cheap drinks. Use meat sparingly & get cheap cuts, like pork shoulder, ham or turkey. Have omelettes, soufflé, or other egg dishes for dinner, bean-based entrees, etc. Cheerios & oatmeal are cheap, healthy and filling. Buy frozen pizzas at the grocery store vs. ordering. Or get crusts & let everyone make their own from ingredients—also counts as an activity. Be sure every meal has a set the table & clean up crew assigned.
Pull out board games, go for walks, pull up a You Tube exercise video & follow along, alternate who picks the next song to play on a device & have a dance party. Bake cookies from scratch. Plan a picnic. Have a cold weather hike.
The Lifestories board game has amazing questions to ask people, with silly activities as an alternative if a question is too sensitive. Or come up with your own list of questions to ask each other: describe a typical dinner at home (everyone will have a different interpretation), what was your childhood dream career? What’s a weird talent you have? (Double jointed thumb, can touch your nose with your tongue, can mimic a bird call, can French braid hair, know a lot about volcanoes, etc.), Favorite animal, bucket list destination, worst movie/book/performer you ever saw, favorite song few people have heard. What was the biggest surprise you pulled off? Whose life would you want to live for a day? What talent did you wish you had? This should spark great conversations.
Have the sister’s kids do online research & pick things they want to do/see within close driving distance. Outside the box stuff: maybe historic or architecturally interesting buildings, arrange a factory tour, hit parks, funky restaurants. Go mid-afternoon when restaurants aren’t as busy & share a plate of exotic food to keep costs low. Watch an old silent or early movie or a recording of an old TV variety/comedy show. Marx Brothers, early Woody Allen, Abbot & Costello, Red Skelton, Sid Caesar, Carol Burnett, Laugh-In.
You’ll be lucky to get everyone off their phones/devices long enough to interact. When you need help ask or assign people. Don’t do everything yourself.
Id say no they can get a hotel or pitch a tent and visit any of the days they are down
enjoy every second you can’t bring back time
It’s too long. You will be irritated all day . That’s no holiday for,you.
I think once a year you can suck it up. Kids sleep anywhere lol put blankets and pillows down in living room for them like a big sleepover. Yall can rotate meal ideas, make cheap things for breakfast like oatmeal, cereal simple things. Sandwiches for lunch or frozen pizzas. Dinners yall take turns buying the meals for. Ask them what plans they have or what they want to do and see. Give some suggestions for free things and take it one day at a time. The week will be over before you know it. Don’t stress or get overwhelmed, just enjoy seeing them.
1 wk is pretty standard for out of town visitors. Anything past 7 days is too long for me. I would meal plan big inexpensive meals for dinner. Casseroles and 1 pot meals. I would also offer to take them to the store or buy whatever they need as far as snacks. When family visits I only really plan to make dinner. If they want anything else they have to let me know they would like to go to the store for the foods they need. I would be very clear that you intend to make dinner but that if they have anything specific they want for breakfast and lunch then you are more than happy to drive them to the store. My mother in law is coming and I already have my meal plan set for dinner’s. I will offer to take her to the store for anything else she might want or need.
They need to rent a hotel room
Can you get a van to put in for a helpsleep some
Tell her no, sounds like she needs a baby sitter for new years eve…doescshe have a husband…
I understand and I’m the same way thinking where will everyone sleep, am I cooking every meal how do I entertain? Just did this for Thanksgiving… ok yes breathe and relax, there family talk get along ( so that’s a plus) have cereal for breakfast ( them kids are old enough to make there own) plus food to be made there mom can cook remember you gave a small baby to tend to. Cook some dinners and go out some( if affordable) enjoy they will be going home and you will be able to rest, but I bet you laugh like never before you will have fun if you allow yourself to have fun!
Get some words of encouragement. They visit once a year and they are coming from hours away to see y’all. Take your kid out of school and plan some activities.
Is this the good ol Northern Hospitality
If you don’t have space they have to stay in a hotel. Ask your husband where he’s going to put everyone. Are they bringing sleeping bags so they all can sleep on the floor?
Have her help with meals. You shouldn’t have to pay for everyone.
I’d be anxious too. Not that 7 days is long. But it seems like you’ve had no say on any of this yet it’s all been placed on your shoulders.
Spaghetti, pizza, casseroles, lasagna, chili, soups. Maybe you can ask her to help chip in for some groceries to feed everyone. Those are just ideas that could feed a lot of people lol. Good luck!
They’ll figure out where to sleep. Ask em.
Spaghetti, chili, chicken and rice. Any pasta dish.
They can stay in a motel.