Is sex important in marriage?

Does sex play a huge part in a marriage? I could go weeks/months without it but my husband would have it every day if he could. Has lack of sex broken up anyone’s marriage before? If not, how did you get through it? P.S. we have 3 kids with the youngest being a year old and the other two in elementary school.


I have to have it or I lose my shit . :woman_shrugging:t3: don’t know why but if I don’t , I’m very angry . Lol

Sex, and intimacy is what sets you apart from all other relationships. Yes it is very important.


I believe its very important not only in marriage, but in any type of romantic relationship.


I have 4 kids
11 9 2 1
I believe sex is super important for us
It’s how we connect physically and alone and it’s how we rest for the next day !
Try it
Look at sex differently and it will help you

And I’ve know two couples where lack of sex … ended badly

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Sex is extremely important. I don’t know how you can do without, I would do it everyday or I could!! We love it

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I think that depends on the couple. For some, sex is a huge part. For others, not so much. The important thing is that the desires are communicated to each other. Intimacy is important and is something we as humans generally crave. The part people tend to forget is that intimacy can be more than just sex. I think you should have a talk with your husband. Ask him how he feels about the whole thing. Then tell him how you feel. You are never obligated to have sex with anyone and your husband should respect that. However, sex is fun. I know it’s hard with kids (I have 3 all around the same ages as yours) but sometimes a quickie is all it takes to reconnect and get back on the same level. Good luck to you!

It can also connect back to the Love Languages. If your love language is physical touch, not having intimacy at a regular interval can make you feel as if your partner does not love or appreciate you.

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It does play a role in a marriage for intimate times, showing love for one another. If anyone ever says it doesn’t they havent talked to a professional who would tell them other wise. It makes women feel unattractive, not loved, or like their spouse is stepping out on them men feel the same way

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I feel as if it’s way more important than a lot of couples realize. We all need that deep connection with our significant other.

It does sadly going threw this now my husband is 10 years older then me and we go months with out and I feel like he lost interest in me we have 3 kids youngest is 2

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Sex is the #1 subject married couples fight about.


I need it daily or every other day. So does he. When I was with my ex… he was fine 2 times a month… i wasnt. Picked my new guy up at Nymphomaniac Anonymous!!! I was the only gal there… lol

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We both like it and we have sex everyday. It’s not the entirety of the relationship but it is a big part of it.

Lack of sex is denying intimacy. Google it. Denying is emotional abuse.


Sex is not the most important thing by any means. If, God forbid, anything were to happen and my hubby n I couldn’t have sex anymore I am confident that our marriage would be fine although it would really suck. That being said, it is ok to go a few days here n there without sex. And it’s also ok to go a few days in a row having sex every day. I have 5 kids and we still manage to have a healthy, fun sex life. It is perfectly fine to have whatever kind of sex life you feel comfortable with and if your hubby really loves you and yall have a true love then sex wont matter anyways.


Sex makes couples feel close and without it there’s always going to be fighting, distance, and insecurities. So yeah it causes problems

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One of the most important things there is in a marriage.


Didn’t break the marriage up but it definitely has caused a lit of problems.
There has to be compromise and communication on both sides.

I think it’s an important thing in a healthy marriage. But my husband doesn’t find it as important as me. It took a long time for us to come to an acceptable compromise.

How often my ex & I had sex wasn’t the problem. The lack of attention to each others needs during the act was a problem.

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Its opposite for me. My husband can go long without it and I want it. Been months now and all we do is fight because of it. I can understand why people cheat without it. Makes me feel unwanted and unloved even though it’s just the way he is


For me and mine our sex life is quite lacking. But we are both low on drive and it doesn’t really affect things. We know it’s lacking but we don’t really try.

Hell YES sex is an important aspect of any relationship! It may not be the most important part, but IMO, it is definitely one of them!!!


It’s not everything but it is important. When you have young kids it’s hard though. My fiancé’s love language is physical touch so that really is how he feels loved so I always try my best to reminder that. My love language is words of affection so sometimes I think that’s how I should love him, but relationships do require compromise and communication! Not everyone feels love the same way.


Its not the most important- but it is still very important.

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Sex is not everything. That’s for sure. I only have one child with my husband and during my pregnancy until she was a little over TWO YEARS OLD- WE DIDNT HAVE SEX. For 3 YRS. we almost divorced. Then realized we just were not taking a single moment for each other. We stopped trying. Once we realized it, things started fitting back together and we started being brutally honest with each other because we were already at the point of “I could totally divorce you but I love you so fucking much I’m just going to say it and see what happens.” And THAT honestly saved us. Now we can’t imagine spending a day apart from each other. BUT. That also means that my own sexual appetite has stayed the same. I can go weeks and months and have zero desire (touched out, weird hormones, too busy) we’re just honest about it now and we go through sprurts of sex sex sex and then cuddles and knowing loving looks for a while and etc etc.
dropping that fear of being totally honest- try it. It’s hard. Not gonna deny it. But- it might help. :purple_heart::purple_heart::purple_heart:

It is different for everyone. After my little one was born 3 years ago, my libido dropped like a rock… communication was dreadful and then I was diagnosed with Graves Disease. So after almost losing the relationship to everything feeling empty in our relationship, somehow we decided to try and save it. That was over two years ago. Usually lack of sex or interest in sex means something more is going on… either physical, emotional, or psychological. The hard thing is figuring where the block is. Have a real discussion about it with your partner …often times neither person has the intimate or sexual relationship they want, that is the time to engage one another about what you both want more of …not just physical, but multiple aspects of your relationship.

You may get some hard hitting responses…and you may find old resentments surface, just remember that those hard conversations are needed if there is to ever be a change for the better.

A wise woman once told me you are always fighting in a relationship, you are either fighting to leave, or fighting to stay together.

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Each relationship is different. What works for some doesn’t work for others

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Sex is extremely important in MOST relationships. The main reason people cheat or get divorced is because of bedroom issues.


if hes horny one night and im not i jus back this ass up in the air for em because i love my husband and want to keep him happy… is it a deal breaker for us, no!! every now and then il say im tired lets make love in the a.m. or tomorrow night and its all good! also sometimes when i want it he lets me get it nice and hard and i can do whatever i want with it because he loves me and as important as it is to keep him happy its important for him to keep me happy! we have a great sex life and im super comfortable with him, vice versa and if it aint like that in your relationship idk maybe you find somebody else… anyways good luck tho

VERY important! If u dont give it, he will get it somewhere else.


Depends on what a persons love language is. Mine is physical touch so sex and intamacy are a huge part of a relationship for me.

Is there any reason why you don’t want to be intimate with him? I know when I was on birth control I just never was in the mood and I switched because of it. It definitely can strain a relationship. It’s such an important aspect of a relationship and it allows bonding time on a physical level.

It’s all about his love language. I also could go for months without sex because I love when he talks to me and just cuddles, it makes me feel wanted and loved. But for him it’s having sex, feeling that fiery desire, and cuddling afterwards that reinforces the love he feels

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Sex is pary of several things that make a marriage work. Communication, financial stuff, respect., ect… . Not just sex too but intimacy like hugs, cuddling holding hands. I’m 52 so sometimes those are more important as we age and have health issues. We have a fantastic marriage but have had to work and compromise even in sex to make sure both of us are happy. Find a balance between to make both of you feel your needs addressed. But answer to question, yes. I know several marriages ended over sex. Issues. Guys felt rejected and after several years left.


My hubby and I haven’t had sex innnnn…almost 2 years. :pensive:


Its definitely an important part of the relationship

It definitely can wreck havoc on a marriage. My husband’s sex drive is barely a fraction of mine. I’m having a hard time dealing.

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Maybe with a toddler is more difficult to find energy in the evening. For each person the answer may be different. When I was at the beginning of the pregnancy we barely had it because I felt sicky.

Intimacy is very important!!But intimacy is not only about sex!This is what i have been trying to tell my so for a while!My sex drive has dropped since i havent felt fullfilled in other parts of the relationship!Sex should be the reward you both have with one another in a well nurtured relationship!It shouldnt be the most important part,it aint for me!


Talk to your doctor about low libido. There are remedies I believe.

Just recently, my fiance has a a severe drop in his sex drive. I wouldnt by any means say that sex is all our relationship is made of, but it’s definitely affected me. I don’t feel as close to him, in terms of intimacy (not just sex, I mean kissing, cuddling, etc. too)


I left my ex due to lack of sex. I wasn’t looking for a roommate. I was looking for a romantic partner.


I think i get more upset when theres a change in frequency. Me and my man are basically on the same wave length with it lol but when he slows down or whatever i get worried for some reason.

You know if you have a bond between you and your spouse, and truly love each other, sex doesn’t matter alls you need is the company and just being close together sex should not come between to souls that are already connected trust me just love each other, and thank god you have each other to come home to.


Marriage is meant to be more then sex. But that being said, it depends whom your with really. Do you have other issues going on? Mental health or illnesses can stop you wanting or enjoying sex. Myself personally, if not emotionally connected have less interest. My parents had the issue of not being able too because of my dads heart conditions. But they made it work, heck she just gave up on it, and yes a sexless marriage is sad, jeez mum never stopped moaning about it to me. But the way i have always seen it. If you have something worth fighting for. You both will work through all the ups and downs. Never no it might be, just a matter of you treating yourself to having your hair done, doing something that makes you feel good about yourself and sexy, heck even some new sexy underwear, can get you back to being in the mood. My other half, can go weeks, he’s depressed, hasn’t been the same since his mum died, I can always get him in the mood. Maybe your husband just needs to make more of a effort with you. Tell him how you feel. he might surprise you. T be honest, i think you might have post natal depression, i found that could affect your sex drive, i had that after my first and youngest. I can still get weeks where i cba with it, but there’s plenty of time for that when old lol. See a doctor just in case something else is going on hun. Never can be too careful x

If he really loved you that shouldn’t matter. He should respect that. Sex isn’t the only form of intimacy.

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I have a higher sex drive so I try to find partners who can keep up with that

My ex cheated on me due to lack of sex when I was working 2 jobs, as soon as I quit the one and got back in the mood he admitted everything. I left cause he still did it. I have a friend that’s in her late 40s that told me she lost it in her 20s, her husband did in his 30s, then they both got it back now in 40s. It’s natural, they just have to be mature enough to realize.

What has broken up another marriage is irrelevant because it’s not your marriage. You need to have this conversation with your husband. Communication is intimacy as well and if you can’t communicate that’s more likely to break up the marriage than being offbeat sexually.

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I think it all matters in the people, some don’t really mind like my husband and I it’s more than sex we could go over a month and some people told me that’s odd but it don’t bother us we just think there is more to a relationship than sex we cuddle love each other and flirt and I think going a longer time without sex makes it more intense when we finally do make love it’s exciting and the climax is amazing beyond words. plus we have 3 kids also a 1 yr old a preschooler and one in elementary school so we’re busy busy but some couples I feel need sex to feel loved and to feel reassured their partner isn’t cheating on them and some people just have more of a sex drive than others

As you get older, you find that sex doesn’t have to be the “end-all” in marriage. Just to sit side by side, hold hands, a tight hug, kisses in the morning and before bedtime, constant “I love you(s)” to each other, compliments and sometimes just an arm wrapped around your waist is intimately enough. And, if you don’t have the “drive,” you can speak to your doctor. There are products that help in that way.

We have both went through phases where it was less important to 1 than the other. Pregnancy was always rough on me and with him getting older and medications he’s on his drive has slowed way down today. We got together when I was 15 and he was 18 and he laughs about how much he would want it when we were young and he would try so hard to get some and now today im the 1 trying so hard to get some lol. But in our relationship open and honest communication has always been number 1 for us! You can talk about your feelings whenever, no judgement, no getting mad and we try to find a solution. You guys need to discuss this for sure. But yes, sex can absolutely tear your relationship apart. If someone’s not feeling fulfilled that leads to looking other places and going outside your marriage, if your bond beyond sex is not strong enough also.

My man use to want it daily sometimes a few now I feel like the needy one…but we work. He works everyday and has one day a week off and that day we do stuff with our family…we have more then sex that makes our relationship…though his lack of interest does get me insecure at times I don’t let it get me too down though it gets hard not feeling wanted or desired buy your spouse. Sex I feel is important in a relationship but it doesn’t make the relationship.

Yes it does play a part. The people determine how big of a role by how important it is to them. Talk to your partner before he just looks elsewhere for physical attention. Some people need it. If your not willing to give it as much as he needs it to feel whole, than you guys got some work to do. Figure out what is going to work for BOTH OF YOU. That will be the end of your marriage. Not meeting each others needs.

Mine is a low drive. My husband is like a horny teenager. We’re fine and happily married. Im also 24 weeks pregnant🤷🏻‍♀️

I think it kind of depends on the marriage… if you talk about it maybe exain what’s going on… I think more then anything there’s got to be communication in the marriage…