Is This Cultural?

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"My husband & I have been together 13 years. We have 3 sons. He’s Greek and there are a lot of cultural differences. All of his family are mostly in Greece. They have said things like he should have never come to America, I’ve dealt with him threatening divorce. Our youngest is 4 yrs old and he also tried to divorce me when I found out I was pregnant. I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing or genetic, but he can be very hateful. The way he speaks to me is the same way his mom speaks to his dad. I’m not working. Our home is “his” his parents helped him buy. Anything they’ve done to help us, they made sure it was gifted to him because they have this unhealthy problem w not wanting their children to have things in spouses name in fear of the other spouse getting it. This Christmas had been terrible, my son tested positive for Covid. I’m sure I have it too. He layed on the couch watching me cook, knowing I’m sick, so that our kids Christmas wouldn’t be ruined due to Covid & not being able to see my family. Not even questioning if I needed help because I’m sick. I had already told him he needed to help because I just can’t do it by myself sick. I finally went upstairs and layed down and 2 hours later he came upstairs to see if I felt hot. Because I asked my son to bring me thermometer. It then blew up. I asked how he could not even offer to help… I got cussed out. Ignored. Today he wants a divorce. I just don’t understand someone with such an ugly heart."

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"Get the divorce— you’re better off. Then cash the spousal support checks each month with a smile on your face. If you’re going to do everything alone— do everything alone!"

"If this is how he treats you on a regular basis, get the divorce. Being treated like a doormat and having divorce threatened time and time again is absolutely not something you should live with."

"I would give him that divorce"

"Give him a divorce and be done with him."

"He’s legit just a shitty person who grew up witnessing his mom treat his dad the same way so thinks it’s okay to treat his spouses the same, get that divorce, take those kids somewhere else for the time being until you are able to get your feet back on the ground wether it be with family or a friend but you definitely need out of that situation as your children are going to grow up the exact same way and think that they way you’re being treated is okay to do to their spouses"

"Honestly I believe it is more the old school mentality that was carried through the generations. My husband’s family is in Poland. My husband pretty much treats me the same way. His father treated his mother the same way. I’m not saying it’s right. I will be the one filing though. I deserve better and I will not let my son believe it is ok to treat women this way. I saw the red flags and ignored them. Don’t do the same for too long. I’m going on 6 years"

"I would leave. It’s not worth going through life unhappy. You only get one life. Be happy! He just sounds like a pos."

"Let him have his divorce… you’ll be much better off. Make sure he doesn’t have their passports."

"With everything you’ve said, I would say don’t announce to him your plans, just line your ducks up and leave then file. These behaviors of his could escalate ~ be safe."

"He is clearly telling you he wants a divorce. So give it to him. No reason to live unhappy or force him to stay in a marriage he clearly doesn’t want to be in."

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